"Because you have those." I point to her ample chest. "It wouldn't be fair if you got T and A."
She laughs, her voice as lively as it was before Nathan fucked up our relationship. "You're right. It wouldn't be fair." She loosens the corset lacing. "I guess I'll have to wear something low cut when I get married, to show off my assets."
"Absolutely." I laugh, but it's only at fifty percent.
"Ah. Got it." Gently, she pulls the neckline of the dress open. "Usually, it's easier to step into a dress. But with this one hugging your hips, I think we should pull it over your head. Put your arms up at your ears."
I do.
She gathers the dress around her hands. Then she's lifting it over my head and pulling it over my arms and down my torso.
All I see is the ivory lining.
Shit. The dress hits my glasses all wrong. They fall to my stomach. Then they're on the ground.
"Don't move!" I squeak.
"Glasses?"
"Yeah."
"Stay there." She drops to the floor and reaches under my skirt. "Got it."
I can hear Madison moving, setting my glasses on the stool behind us.
She tugs the dress over my hips and knees. Even with the back unlaced, the dress is snug on my hips.
I can't quite make out the details of my reflection. Without my glasses, all I see is the light bouncing off my dress.
"Give me a second." Madison moves behind me and gets to work lacing the dress. "Take a deep breath."
I do. She pulls the lacing snug, so the dress is hugging my waist and my chest.
"There. Done." Her voice brightens. "It looks perfect, Jessie. Let's go to the big mirrors."
"Okay. But I need my glasses."
She reaches for something. "Got 'em."
Madison takes my hand and leads me to the main room.
There are two mirrors in the center of the room. Madison leads me between them. I can only get the gist without my lenses. The ivory dress hugs my chest, waist, and hips, then flares out at my knees.
Meg jumps from her seat. "Oh my God! You look amazing, Jess."
"She can't see yet." Madison brandishes my glasses. She turns to me. "Are you ready to melt?"
"Yes."
Gently, she slides my glasses onto my face. It's always a little disarming when the world goes from fuzzy to sharp. I blink a few times to help my eyes settle.
With my hair pulled behind my back, my eye goes straight to the sweetheart neckline. The curve is flattering on my less than ample chest.
The dress hugs my figure like it's made for it.
It's beautiful.
I'm beautiful in it.
A tear stings my eye. Then another. My fingers go to my cheeks, but it's not fast enough to keep the tears from falling off my cheeks.
I'm not sure if these are happy tears or fuck, what if this doesn't work? tears. I let them fall until I'm crying so hard I can barely speak. "It's perfect."
Madison throws her arms around me. "It's perfect."
Then Meg takes her turn hugging me. "It is perfect, Jess. You look amazing. And hot."
I laugh. "Thank you."
"He's going to tear that thing off you the second you're alone," Meg says.
"Is that a wedding night tip?" I ask.
She laughs. "No, we waited until we were in our hotel room. The corset back is complicated, but Miles is a singer. Not as much dexterity." She wiggles her hand. Her cheeks flush. "Not that I have any complaints."
Emotions well up in my chest. I'm excited, but I'm also terrified.
Meg and Madison help me find accessories, but I'm not really paying attention. The question is burning into my brain.
I need to talk to him.
I need to talk to him now.
***
I send Pete a call me text but my phone stays silent.
I'm in a daze all afternoon. I barely hear anything Madison or Meg says.
Thankfully, Madison is as good with hair and makeup as she is with clothes. She leads the stylists.
We're halfway through hair and makeup when my phone buzzes. Pete.
Pete: Everything okay?
Jess: I think so, but I need to talk to you.
Pete: Did you get a dress?
Jess: Yeah. Everything is ready, I'm all measured. I just have to call the shop to confirm.
Pete: You waiting for something?
Jess: To talk.
Pete: You're scaring me, baby.
Jess: Do you really get scared?
Pete: When it's about you? Yeah, I get fucking terrified.
Jess: Where are you?
Pete: Getting a suit.
Jess: Didn't you bring a suit?
Pete: Wanted something special.
He's amazing. We have to work this out. All other options are inconceivable.
Jess: Send me the address.
Pete: Promise you'll be okay.
Jess: I will. After we work this out.
He sends the address.
I press the phone to my chest. My updo is still only half-done, but I can tell the style will work.
My makeup looks good. A little dark, but good. I should wait until the stylist is finished, but I can't wait anymore.
I nod a thank you to the hair stylist. "This will be fine. I can imagine it, and it's great. Just brown eyelashes and liner on the day. Okay?"
She nods.
I grab my purse and my coat. "Um, I'm gonna go. You guys okay without me?"
Meg smiles. "Go fuck your groom."
"We're only going to talk," I say.
Madison laughs. "Come on, Jessie. No one is buying that story."
Chapter Forty-Seven
Pete
I'm going fucking crazy.
If she wants to call this off...
My heart won't survive if she calls this off. Not sure my body or my mind will do much better.
I'll still have my bass, still have my books, still have my friends, still have Mom (no doubt, she'll tell me I did this to myself by pushing Jess too hard), still have the band, but...
Fuck. Can't entertain this thought. If it comes to that, I'll find a music shop, grab a bass and an amp, find a practice room, and play until my hands are bleeding.
I've been dumped once. That was enough to make me realize there's no talking someone into or out of loving you.
Usually, I'm incredibly fucking persuasive. But that won't do shit for me if she wants to call this off.
The sales guy eyes me nervously. That what the hell is with that dude? look. He doesn't recognize me. Usually, it's a relief to be a normal guy and not a famous musician. Not right now.
At the moment, I'm more than willing to cash in my celebrity.
God damn, I don't like shit I can't control.
My heart will be dust if she leaves me. There won't be enough of it to stitch it back together.
Fuck. Anything beats standing here waiting. I try picking out a tie that will match our colors—teal and dark blue, like the ocean—but there's never been a less interesting subject in the history of the fucking world.
The bell rings as the door to the shop opens.
Light surrounds Jess. It bounces off her blond hair, casting her in an angelic glow.
That can't hide the frustration in her expression.
Is that I have a secret frustration or I'm about to leave you and I don't want to hurt you frustration?
"Hey." Her voice is barely a whisper.
The guy at the counter looks from her to me. "Your bride?"
Fuck, I hope so. I nod.
He smiles at Jess. "Why don't you help him with the tie? He's been staring for ten minutes."
Has it really been only ten minutes? Feels like it's been ten years.
She smiles back to the guy then she comes close enough to whisper. "Uh, you've got some shades of blue-green there. Is that our color theme?"
She's talking about the wedding like it's still on.
That's good.
"Color
of the ocean," I say.
Her eyes light up as she smiles. But there's still all this frustration on her face.
She grabs the dark teal tie then she looks to me. "This should work."
I nod. She's wearing makeup. Half her hair is pulled behind her head. The other half is hanging over her chest in soft waves. "You look gorgeous."
"Thanks." She gives me a long once-over. "You look jump your bones handsome in that suit."
"You'll have to keep it in your pants during the ceremony."
She smiles. "That will be harder for you than it is for me."
Haven't got a doubt about that. In fact, whatever this is, we will get through it. We have to. After-I nod to the dressing room.
She raises a brow. "You have a one-track mind, Steele."
"You want to talk. That will give us privacy." It doesn't hurt that the stall door goes all the way to the floor.
She presses her lips together. Her cheeks flush.
I check that the sales guy isn't looking, and I lead her into the dressing stall.
She locks the door. "It's hot in here, huh?" She hangs her coat on the hook on the door.
I nod.
Her eyes go to mine as she pulls her sweater over her head. I haven't got the faintest clue what she wants to talk about, but it suddenly seems less important. Her tank top hugs her chest and waist. The neckline is low enough that the lace of her bra peeks out.
"Put me out of my misery before I tear off the rest of your clothes." Need to get this out before any more blood goes to my cock. I'm already getting hard. "You want to call off the wedding?"
"No. Of course not."
Every muscle in my body, save the one, relaxes.
Her brows screw together. "Did you think I wanted to?"
"Haven't got a clue what you're thinking, besides that you want me naked."
She laughs. "You should take off the suit."
"Should I?"
She motions to her rosy lips and cheeks. "Don't want to ruin it."
"You sure you can keep your hands off me?"
"I'll do my best, but I can't make any promises." She smiles, but there's something missing.
Still, I strip to my boxers.
She chews on her bottom lip as her gaze goes to the ground. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll blurt it out."
"Okay."
She looks up at me. "Do you want kids?"
Huh?
That's not what I expected. Not sure what I expected, but it wasn't that.
Four months living together, and neither of us broached the subject. All the talk about Kara being pregnant and Drew needing to take time off from the band, and neither of us broached the subject.
I run my fingers over her cheek. "No, I don't. Do you?"
She sighs with relief. "You don't?"
I nod. "I don't."
It's not something I think about.
There have only been a few things I've wanted in my life. I wanted my dad to respect me. When I realized that was a lost cause, I wanted to make music. Wanted Ophelia to be healthy. Wanted someone to call at the end of the night.
Now, I want Jess. Fuck, how I want Jess. I want every inch of her, every thought in her head. I want to make every one of her hopes and dreams come true.
I hope I'm reading her right. She's smiling. Her shoulders are relaxing.
"Do you?" I ask again.
"No. I don't. I thought... well, we never talked about it. I thought maybe you... I don't know. That you figured you'd get your way. Or that you assumed I wanted kids."
"The way your ex thought you'd give up everything for him?"
She bites her lip. "It's not that I think you're like him-"
"I know, baby. You don't have to tip-toe around my feelings. Guess we should have had this conversation before we planned a wedding."
She laughs. "Yeah. I guess I never think about it."
"Me either."
"We both like to work."
"Yeah." I'm not under any illusions about how many hours she'll work after school. I hope she's not under any illusions about how much time I'll devote to music. Only two things make sense to me— taking care of her and playing the bass. Not willing to give up either. "I want a lot of you, Jess. But I want you to soar too. I like that you're ambitious. I'm never going to get in the way of that."
"What if I work 100 hours a week?"
"Might ask you to cut back to 80." I slide my arms around her round hips and pull her body against mine. "I'll promise to make good use of the other 20."
She lets out another sigh of pleasure. "Do you think Sinful Serenade will be like the Rolling Stones? Are you going to keep touring until you're 70?"
"Trying to suggest I won't be dead sexy at 70?"
She shakes her head. Her blue eyes brighten. "I was terrified I'd lose you." She blinks and there's a tear in her eye. "Fuck. Sorry. This wedding stuff is exhausting."
"Don't have to apologize for your feelings."
She nods. "You're right. I'm not sorry. But I am out of emotional energy." She buries her head in my chest.
I wrap my hands around her and I hold her until her muscles relax. "You need a break?"
She nods. "You don't think it's bad that I don't want to have kids? That it's selfish?"
"No. But I wouldn't care if it was. I want all your love."
She laughs. "What if one of us changes our minds?"
"You think you will?"
"No. But stranger things have happened."
"You're the sun in my fucking sky, baby. I know you don't think I'm the most compromising guy, but I'm going to do what it takes to make you happy."
"You're too sweet. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve you."
"You do."
"Yeah?"
"I never feel as whole as I do when I'm with you." I run my fingers through the hair hanging over her shoulders. "You deserve every inch of me."
Her cheeks flush. "Do you mean-"
For once, I don't mean it sexually. "No." I take her hand and press it to my chest, over my heart. "You're my home, Jess. You're everything."
She nods. "You're my home too." She presses her forehead to my chin, drags her fingers over my chest. "I was terrified. I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'll never be without me." I bring my fingers to her chin and pull her into a kiss.
Need pours into me as she kisses back.
I let my voice drop to something seductive. "Of course, you can have every inch of me." I drag my fingers over her shoulders. I need our bodies connecting again.
Her voice drops to something low and needy. "Don't tease me."
"Who's teasing?" Fuck knows, I'd like to take her against the wall. Now.
That makes sense. No matter how hard I try, nothing makes more sense than Jess groaning my name as she comes.
"Let's finish this conversation first." She looks up at me. "I only started imagining my future the last six months. I was thinking on the ride here. I know what I want. I want to come home to you. If that's only six months out of the year, that's okay. But it would be nice to know how long you think you'll be doing the rock star thing."
"Doing the rock star thing?" I cock a brow.
"You know what I mean. How long do you think the band will be touring?"
"Another ten, fifteen years. Maybe less. Maybe more. We're gonna have some breaks, some long ones. Drew should be home with the baby. And Tom and Willow want to adopt in a few years."
She smiles. "Okay."
"Try not to gloat about it."
"No, I'm not! I want you to soar too." She reaches up to run her hand through my hair.
No one has ever cared this much about my success, no one but Mom. It means the fucking world to me, how much she wants my happiness.
Jess's eyes fix on mine. "Of course, there's not as much room to fly higher when you're already a millionaire rock star. But I know that playing music means everything to you. You can't give that up."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
Damn, she's fighting for me.
I fucking melt. "In some way, shape, or form, I'll always play."
She presses her lips to my neck. "Good."
The proximity of her body makes it difficult to focus on conversation. I want that tiny tank top gone. I want her breasts in my hands, her lips parting with a sigh of pleasure.
"You could become a DJ," she teases.
"If you want to hurt me, there's a better way."
She looks up at me. Her expression is bright, determined. "It would keep you in town."
"You baiting me?"
She feigns innocence. "No. I really think you'd excel at the clubs."
"Baby, you're being cruel."
She smiles. "I guess I better make it up to you." She drags her fingers over my stomach.
Her touch sets me on fire. Her fingers drift lower. She traces the waist of my boxers.
She rises to her tiptoes and presses her lips to mine. Always feels amazing kissing Jess—like I could consume her—but there's more to this kiss. I can feel her relief. I can feel how much she needs me.
My shoulders relax as I slide my hands under her tank top. Part of me was worried I'd lose her.
Part of me was fucking terrified I'd lose her.
I unhook her bra. I push it, and her tank top, off her shoulders. She groans into my mouth as I palm her breasts.
She rubs me over my boxers. Damn, that feels good. Good enough that I'm not gonna last long.
She breaks from our kiss. Her eyes fix on mine. They're determined. "I want to suck you off."
I let out a grunt of approval.
She drags her soft lips over my neck. Her palm presses against my hip. She guides me until my back is against the wall.
Jess lowers herself onto her knees. She looks up at me with a hungry expression, wetting her lips with her tongue as she pulls my boxers to my knees.
My hand goes to the back of her head. I tug at her hair until it spills over her shoulders. My cock pulses.
The woman is perfection. And she's mine. She's gonna be my fucking wife.
Jess lets out a soft groan as she brushes her lips over my cock. Sensation overwhelms me. My hands beg me to spur her on. She's looking at me like she wants to devour me.
No way I'm rushing this.
I dig my hands through her hair as she teases me. She does it again and again. Until I'm shaking.
She stares into my eyes as she takes me into her mouth.
Sinful Ever After (Sinful Serenade #5) Page 30