by I. T. Lucas
Ana was well aware that this type of communal life wasn’t for everyone.
Heck, she wasn’t even sure how long she was going to stay. She hadn’t committed to forever yet. Their no-children policy was a hard pill to swallow, but it wasn’t an immediate concern.
Right now, she wasn’t ready to even think about becoming a mother, and she might never be. If she had a mental disorder, she definitely didn’t want to pass it on to the next generation.
Besides, to have children she would have to get married, and that didn’t seem likely. For some reason, she had a hard time connecting with people, and not just men.
Well, the reason was quite obvious.
She was a mess.
Between the voices, her mother’s premature death, and her father’s avoidance, she could provide a team of psychologists with enough material to keep them busy for years.
So why hadn’t she?
In part, it was because of her father’s mistrust of psychologists and psychiatrists, but mostly it was because she didn’t feel insane. On the contrary, Anastasia thought of herself as sharp and analytical, and her stellar grades had been proof of that.
And as for her moods, she wasn’t cheerful or upbeat, but she wasn’t miserable all of the time either. Everyone got depressed on occasion, and she might have been down more often than up, but not all of the time.
On the flip side, crazy people seldom thought that they were insane.
Still, no one in Safe Haven thought that she was crazy, even after learning about the voices in her head. Perhaps that was the reason why she’d had more up days than down since joining the community.
Margaret had a lot to do with that as well. They had clicked from the very first time they’d met, and their friendship meant a lot to Anastasia. She’d made other friends as well. The others weren’t as close to her as Margaret, but they also made her feel accepted and genuinely cared for.
Given what the community had done for her, and what she could do for others if she stayed, sacrificing having her own nuclear family didn’t seem like such a big deal.
The members of Safe Haven were her family now, and they sure as heck cared about her more than her own father did.
Dedicating her life to helping others was meaningful and rewarding, and she doubted that having a husband and children would be as satisfying, especially if it meant working as an attorney in the corporate world.
If she ever went back to law school, she would switch to a nonprofit organization. Her father wouldn’t like that, but she was done trying to please him. She wasn’t like him, and she never would be.
Pulling on her pink UGGs, she thought about Sam and how he’d towered over her. Heels would have made her feel so much more confident, but she’d left all her fancy footwear behind in self-storage with the rest of her previous life.
“It’s not a date.” She stomped her feet into the boots.
Her UGGs were warm and comfortable, and they looked good with her white leggings. A long pink sweater completed the outfit, and after shrugging the Safe Haven white puffer coat over it, she took one last look in the mirror and winced.
She looked like the Michelin Man.
Whatever. This wasn’t going to be a date, but rather a debate. It was freezing cold outside, and the main lodge was a ten-minute walk away.
With a sigh, Ana pulled her pink scarf and gloves from the coat pockets, put them on, and cast one more look at the mirror.
Instead of looking like the Michelin Man, she now looked like Mrs. Snowman.
21
Leon
The common room was packed when Leon walked over to Peter and Eleanor. The two were leaning against one of the pillars, poised to grab seats as soon as they became available.
“It’s busy in here tonight.”
“This is the flesh buffet.” Eleanor folded her arms over her chest. “Everyone is looking for hookups.”
“How long does it take them to choose their snacks for tonight?” Peter braced his foot against the pillar. “We need to commandeer one of these seating areas before Anastasia gets here.”
“I can compel them to leave,” Eleanor suggested.
Peter snorted. “So can I. I can go over to that group and fart. That would clear the space real fast.”
She rolled her eyes. “Men. You never grow up.”
Peter nudged her with his elbow. “What’s the fun in that?”
“The three over there are getting up.” Leon strode toward the seating area and dove for the couch before anyone else had the chance to snatch it.
They still needed a fourth seat, but he could drag one over from another grouping, or he could glare at the humans still occupying the two armchairs.
He did neither because the two were staff members, and he didn’t want to appear unfriendly. Instead, he smiled and nodded in greeting.
Naturally, the two did the same before going back to scanning the room.
The Safe Haven staff were easy to spot among the retreat’s guests. They weren’t in uniforms, but even their off-duty clothing was uniform. Everything they had on was either white or pastel-colored.
He wondered what was up with that. Had someone decided that light colors were more tranquil than dark ones?
They seemed to be looking for hookups like everyone else in the room, but in case they were there to watch and report to their superiors, Leon didn’t want to call unwanted attention to himself.
Fortunately, as soon as Peter and Eleanor joined him on the couch, the two got up and walked over to another group.
Eleanor leaned on his arm, pretending affection. “Do you think it’s safe to talk with our girl here?”
“We will keep our voices down and discuss ideology. I’m not going to bring any personal details up. And if she does, I’ll thrall those sitting nearby to forget what they’ve overheard.”
“I hope my compulsion works on her. I want to be done with this place and get out of here as soon as possible, which means that you guys need to find out if anything shady is going on pronto.”
Peter stretched his legs in front of him. “As soon as we have the first mission handled, we will tackle the next one.” He scanned the room. “I’m going to find a sexy female staff member and have my way with her in more ways than one.”
“Good luck with that.” Eleanor pursed her lips. “I didn’t notice any who merited a second glance. Male or female.”
Peter shook his head. “You’re being harsh.”
The chances of Eleanor succeeding where Leon had failed were slim. If Anastasia was immune to thralling, she was most likely immune to compulsion as well, but it was still worth a shot.
The problem was that Eleanor wasn’t the friendliest type, and Anastasia might be just as guarded with her as she’d been with him.
For some reason, she treated him as an adversary rather than the knight in shining armor who’d come to rescue her from the clutches of an evil cult.
So far, though, the cult didn’t appear evil. It was strange, and the lifestyle they promoted was weird and unnatural, but he could see the appeal it held for those who had a hard time fitting in. It was also very appealing to those who didn’t want to commit to just one person and loved having a variety of sexual partners.
To each his or her own.
It wouldn’t have been his choice, but as long as no coercion was involved, and all the members were consenting adults, they were free to make their own strange choices.
Spotting Anastasia walking into the common room, he rose to his feet. “She’s here.”
“I see her,” Peter said. “Now, that’s a woman who merits a second and a third glance.”
Leon didn’t appreciate the comment. “She’s off-limits,” he hissed before walking over to her.
With her hair loose and a peach-colored lipstick accentuating her kissable lips, she looked precisely like the picture he had in his wallet.
Beautiful, mysterious, and vulnerable.
His protective instincts demand
ed that he wrap his arms around her, carry her away from the place, and hide her somewhere no one could leer at her.
Especially Peter.
Unbidden, his imagination conjured up a cave and a very naked Anastasia lying on a fur pallet.
That was a big mistake.
His fangs started itching, and his shaft swelled and elongated in his jeans. His eyes were probably glowing as well.
Ducking behind a column, Leon closed his eyes, fisted his hands, and dug his fingernails into his palms until he drew blood and his arousal subsided.
When he got himself under control, he rounded the column and closed the rest of the distance between them.
“I’m glad you came.”
“Hi.” Anastasia craned her neck to look at him. “It’s so crowded in here.”
“Isn’t it like this every night?”
“I guess so. It’s the first time I’ve been here at night since graduating from the retreat. Unless I’m working, I usually stay in the community’s compound.”
The sense of relief washing over him was unexpected. Did it make him a hypocrite that he was glad Anastasia didn’t partake in the free-love buffet?
Yeah, it did.
If he were in her position, he would probably have taken full advantage of it.
“Come.” He gripped her elbow lightly with two fingers. “I want you to meet my friends.”
Anastasia seemed taken aback. “I thought that it would be just you and me.”
That was a surprise. He’d expected her to be relieved that they wouldn’t be alone.
“I can get rid of them.”
“No, that’s okay.” She let out a breath. “I can argue Safe Haven’s case some other time.”
“They want to hear it as well. But as I said, I can get rid of them.”
“Who are they?”
“I’ll introduce you.” He led her to the couch. “This is Marisol, and that is Devlin.”
22
Anastasia
She shouldn’t feel disappointed.
It wasn’t a date, so why should it matter if two more people were interested in what she had to say?
The woman looked intimidating, but the guy was even more handsome than Sam, and his smile was charming. He wasn’t her type, though. He seemed too flirty.
“This is Marisol.” Sam introduced the woman.
She nodded and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach her dark eyes.
“And this is Devlin.”
The guy pushed to his feet and offered her his hand. “A pleasure to meet you, Anastasia.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’m looking forward to your illuminating lecture on the merits of Safe Haven.” His charming smile made him look approachable but also a little devilish.
Ana had been right about him being a big flirt, and his charm wasn’t going to work on her. She avoided men like him, and they avoided her as well.
She wasn’t fun enough.
Behind Devlin, Marisol snorted and Sam growled.
Someone wasn’t happy about his friend’s flirty manner. Should she be flattered?
“Nice to meet you, Devlin.” Anastasia pulled her hand out of his grasp and backed away from the couch.
“Please, take a seat.” Sam motioned to one of the armchairs.
It was a shame that after all the prep she’d done and the sleep she was giving up in order to be there, she wasn’t even going to have a nice intimate conversation with the guy. Ana hadn’t planned on anything coming out of it, but she’d expected to at least have a pleasant time with Sam.
Liar.
Was it too late to tell Sam to get rid of his friends?
He sat down in the other armchair and lifted a leg over his other thigh.
Damn, even his thighs were muscular.
It should have occurred to her the first moment she’d seen Sam that a good-looking guy like him wasn’t the type to join a spiritual retreat.
Usually, the people who wanted to escape society weren’t part of the popular crowd who could pick up anyone they wanted in a bar or a coffee shop. They were more like her, introverted nerds with issues, who got tongue-tied and sweaty when talking to an attractive member of the opposite sex. They preferred staying home and watching television to putting themselves out there and getting passed over time and again for the less complicated, better looking, and more outgoing people.
For most, coming to the retreat was a last resort move after they had tried everything else and failed.
Marisol leaned forward and leveled her intense dark eyes at Ana’s. “Come home with us, Anastasia. You are wasting your life away here.”
Wow, that was direct. And rude.
It took her another moment to realize what the comment implied. “My father hired all three of you to get me?”
His eyes darting around, Sam uttered what sounded like a hiss. “Keep your voice down. We don’t want to get kicked out of here.”
Grabbing her coat, Ana pushed to her feet. “You are not going to persuade me, so you might as well leave now.” She glared at Marisol. “Why waste your time?”
Instead of answering her, the woman turned to Sam. “It didn’t work. What now?”
“I don’t know.” He pushed his fingers through his hair. “You and Devlin can leave.”
The woman got up and smiled down at Ana. “Forgive me. Sometimes I’m too direct, and it comes off as offensive, but that wasn’t my intention. I just don’t like beating around the bush.” She extended her hand. “No hard feelings, eh?”
She seemed to mean it.
“You don’t have to leave.” Ana shook the woman’s hand. “Let’s start over.”
“It was nice to meet you, Anastasia, but it's been a long day, and I’m tired.” She looked at the guy. “Are you coming, Devlin?”
Reluctantly, he got up and wrapped his arm around Marisol’s shoulders. “Do I have a choice? I can’t let you walk to your room alone. Some people might get ideas.” He winked at Ana.
Rolling her eyes, the woman shook his arm off. “I can take care of myself.”
Ana didn’t doubt that.
Marisol was tall and very slim, but not like model thin. She was toned all over, and her shoulders were broad. She looked like a fighter, which she probably was.
Had her father hired ex-commandos to rescue her?
Should she be touched? Did it mean that he loved her?
If she cared to be honest with herself, Ana hoped that he did. The man just couldn’t handle having a daughter who was different and who looked like a carbon copy of her dead mother.
But that was wishful thinking.
On the rare occasions she had visited him, her father had ducked into his home office as soon as he could. His wife had shown Ana more affection than he had.
He shouldn’t still agonize over her mother’s death, though. It had happened a long time ago, and after five years of mourning her, he’d remarried and had two more children. Perhaps that wasn’t why he couldn’t stand looking at his own daughter?
“Good night, Anastasia.” Marisol yawned, but it looked fake.
She and Devlin were retiring for the night, but probably not to sleep.
“Good night.” Anastasia was not sorry to see the two leave.
But now that she was alone with Sam, her confidence faltered. “Perhaps we should call it a night as well.”
“You promised me a talk.”
“We can meet up again tomorrow if you want.”
He took her hand. “We are going to talk tonight. You have three options. We can talk here, you can come to my room and we can talk there, or we can take a walk on the beach.”
It was cold outside, and she would hate to get sand in her UGGs, but the lodge was too crowded and noisy, and going to Sam’s room was out of the question. She’d just met him, and she wasn’t the type who could have sex with a complete stranger.
Besides, Ana hadn’t had sex in over a year, and she hadn’t waxed or trimmed anything because there had been no reason t
o. There was no way she was getting naked in front of anyone before taking care of that.
“Let’s take a walk.” She glanced at the thin fabric of his black turtleneck, trying not to stare at the defined muscles under it. “You should get a coat, though. It’s freezing on the beach at night.”
23
Leon
Just as Leon had suspected, Anastasia was immune to compulsion as well as to thralling.
The way Eleanor had conducted her test left a lot to be desired, but it had been pretty conclusive. Anastasia hadn’t had any reason to feel apprehensive about Eleanor, and she hadn’t had time to put up defensive walls to block her out. If she weren’t an immune, springing the demand on her out of the blue would have been an effective tactic.
And that left him with only one choice. He had to appeal to Anastasia’s logic and convince her that life outside the cult was better, and he had to achieve that goal before the retreat was over.
Or he could seduce her and make her fall in love with him, but even though she was obviously attracted to him, Leon would never do that as a means to an end. That would be wrong on so many levels.
Once he got her out of Safe Haven though, she was fair game, and Leon wouldn’t hesitate for even one moment to claim her.
She belonged to him.
Damn, where had that come from?
He’d never felt possessive about a woman before.
“Let’s take a walk.” She ogled his chest. “You should get a coat, though. It’s freezing on the beach at night.”
If she kept looking at him like that, all of his resolve might not be enough to keep his hands off her.
“We can stop by my room.” The problem was that he didn’t want her anywhere near his bed. It was too dangerous. “You can wait for me out in the hallway while I get my coat.”