by Abbi Glines
have wanted us to be together, but I wasn’t in the right mindset to have a relationship with someone like Maggie. Someone who deserved so much more than I had to give.
Explaining that to Momma wasn’t really a good idea, though. She’d worry about me. And she already had enough to worry about. We both did.
Saturday I’d spent the day in Dad’s room watching college football. When he was awake, we talked some about the game Friday night. Mostly I talked and he listened. It was hard for him to talk now. Breathing was getting harder and harder on him. The hospice worker came, and I stayed with Dad while I could. I only stepped out when she and Momma bathed him.
Sunday was a repeat of Saturday, except we watched the NFL games. Momma curled up on the bed with us, and we talked. We talked about our first camping trip and how Momma had screamed when the black bear had gotten into our cooler. Then we laughed about the first time we had taken Momma fishing. She’d been horrified by the fact we put live crickets on the hook.
Dad also wanted to know about Maggie. She’d charmed him easily enough. He had warned me not to mess that up, saying she was a keeper. Momma had patted my hand as if to agree with him.
Each night after Dad went to sleep, I’d go to my room and text Maggie. She always answered, and eventually we’d end up talking on the phone until we both fell asleep.
By Monday I was more than ready to see her. Dad had actually slept through the night and seemed better this morning. Momma had been happy about that, and leaving them hadn’t been as hard.
My good morning was over right quick, though, when I saw Serena talking to Maggie at her locker. I could tell by the look on Serena’s face that they weren’t having a nice chat. Maggie had backed away from her and was pushed up against the locker door, her green eyes wide and nervous. That didn’t make me fucking happy at all.
I shoved through the crowd, and eventually everyone moved for me. When I got close enough, I heard Serena: “He fucks me. He doesn’t want you. Back off.”
“Get the hell away from Maggie. Now,” I roared as I moved in between them and put my hands on Serena’s shoulders to move her back. “Don’t ever. Ever. Get in her face again. Don’t breathe the same air she breathes. Don’t even fucking look at her. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Serena’s eyes went wide with surprise. She hadn’t expected me to catch her. She’d been furious that I’d wanted to go see Maggie after the game. Until then she hadn’t seen her as competition.
“She’s flirting with you. She thinks she can have you. I was just telling her what we’ve been doing. That you just see her as a friend,” Serena began explaining as if she were completely innocent.
I felt Maggie’s body move behind me, and I reached back to touch her hand. She wasn’t leaving. I missed her. Serena wasn’t gonna mess up my morning with her misplaced jealousy.
“You don’t know what she can have. But I’ll tell you what you can’t have. Me. We had a fun little fling, but that’s done. We’re done.” I didn’t leave room for her to reply. I turned my back on her, knowing we had the entire hallway’s attention now. I knew she wouldn’t stand there, begging me to look at her. She had more pride than that. So I wasn’t surprised when she stalked away. And then everyone went back to their business.
Maggie’s eyes were still wide and so damn pretty as she stared up at me.
“I’m sorry about that. It’s my fault. I make stupid-ass decisions, and they should never affect you.”
She moved her hand to squeeze mine. “It’s okay,” she whispered so softly, no one would hear her.
“It’s not okay. No one talks to you like that. No one,” I said, feeling my anger start to build again. I hated seeing Maggie afraid.
She gave me a small smile then slipped her hand from mine and reached for her book bag on the floor. I watched her as she got her books, wishing I had her alone so we could talk. So I could hear her voice. I had heard it over the phone just last night, but it was always different in person.
Stepping close to her, I inhaled and let her vanilla scent wash over me. I could take that with me to first period. Since I couldn’t take her.
When she turned around, we were so close, our bodies almost touched.
Almost immediately a hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed hard. “Friends. Remember?” Brady’s voice wasn’t threatening, but it sure wasn’t friendly, either.
I took one more deep inhale then stepped back. Maggie glanced at Brady, then smiled one last time at me. Her cheeks turned pink as she held her books close to her chest and hurried away.
Once she was out of sight, I turned to Brady. He was frowning. “That wasn’t friendly. That was ‘I’m about to eat you up in this hallway in front of everyone.’ That’s what that was. I saw it. So did everyone else. And did she . . . did I see her mouth move?”
She wouldn’t want him to know. It wasn’t something she was ready to share. I shook my head. “No. We just communicate differently. That’s all that was.”
Brady cocked an eyebrow. He knew I was full of shit. I had wanted to be as close to her as I could get. “Remember, she’s fragile. Don’t break her.”
He didn’t know how wrong he was. Maggie was one of the strongest people I knew.
“I told you already, I would never hurt her. I was making sure she was okay. Serena was being nasty, and I fixed that. I won’t let someone hurt her. Trust me.”
Brady shook his head, his frown still in place. “I’m trying to. But I see the way you look at her.”
“Just because I want something, doesn’t mean I’m cruel enough to take it. I’d never do that to her. She is just my friend. She will always be just my friend.”
No One Else Is Fun to Talk To
CHAPTER 23
MAGGIE
The rest of the week things with West’s dad seemed better. He was still having problems breathing, but he was awake more. In pain less, or so it seemed. He didn’t need to take as much of the medicine that kept him drugged up. I’d gone to visit him on Wednesday evening. West had come to get me after his football practice, and we had eaten dinner with his mother. Then we went to talk with his dad.
On Thursday, West met me at the door of the cafeteria and insisted I eat at his table. Since Serena was no longer there, I agreed. The guys were still trying to figure out our friendship. It didn’t make sense to them, but by Friday they had accepted that I was going to be sitting with them from now on, and they all seemed okay with that.
West and I were . . . well, I didn’t know what we were. We texted all throughout the day and talked on the phone every evening. We didn’t just talk about his dad or my past; we talked about life. He told me stories about him and Brady as kids, and I told him about my years as a cheerleader in junior high.
But I found our situation increasingly confusing. Like when West would get close to me and breathe deeply like he was taking me in. Or the times he held his hand on my back longer than necessary. Or the time Nash sat down beside me and started flirting, and West had gotten angry. He tried not to show it, but everyone saw it, including Brady.
Even though he did all those things, he still flirted with the girls at school who came on to him. Although he wasn’t having sex with any of them in the restroom or getting attached to any of them, he also never mentioned our kiss or acted as if he’d like to try it again.
He hadn’t mentioned what his plans were after the football game Friday night nor had he asked me about mine. So I asked Aunt Coralee if I could please go straight home and go to bed. I was tired. She agreed, and I left right after the game with her while Uncle Boone stayed to talk to Brady.
West had scored three touchdowns, and the smile on his face had made everything that was wrong, right. I loved seeing him happy. I wished I could be there when he told his dad all about it.
I let the week’s events replay in my mind while I showered and got ready for bed. Brady seemed less annoyed with me lately, and I knew it was because he didn’t have to take me everywhe
re anymore. His parents had stopped trying to foist me off on him constantly. Dinnertime was easier, and I liked listening to all of them talk.
I also let the idea of starting to talk in public again roll around in my head. I had talked to West’s parents but only because I hadn’t wanted to make things difficult for them with my silence. And, if I never got a chance to speak to his dad again, I didn’t want to regret staying silent.
I wanted to be a part of this family, but as long as I didn’t talk or share my day-to-day life, I remained an outsider. If I started talking to my aunt and uncle, eventually they were going to want me to talk about what I’d seen. About what had happened. I didn’t want to. I was no longer terrified to hear my own voice—talking to West had shown me I could hear myself again and not fall apart—but I wasn’t ready to talk about my mother . . . or my father. The Higgenses knew all there was to know. If I could trust them not to force me to talk about that night, then I could talk to them.
I finished showering then stepped out and towel dried my hair before slipping the towel around my body and hurrying back to my room.
Stepping through the bedroom door, I started to scream when I saw West standing inside. I quickly slapped one hand over my mouth while gripping the towel tightly around me with the other.
“West?” I asked, adjusting so I could hold my towel around me with both hands.
His eyes weren’t on my face but on my very bare legs. I was tempted to run back into the hallway.
“West?” I repeated.
His eyes snapped up to meet mine, and he grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. I texted you that I was coming up, but you didn’t answer.”
“Coming up?” I repeated, still very confused.
He nodded to the window. “This was Brady’s room most of my life. I’ve been climbing in that window since I was seven.”
Oh. But why was he here?
“You left . . . the game . . . and you didn’t go to the field party. I waited for you.”
This. This was what confused me. I didn’t understand when he did things like this. He hadn’t asked me all day about my plans tonight. I assumed he had some of his own. I hadn’t known he wanted to see me.
“I left with Aunt Coralee. You didn’t mention seeing me afterward.”
Now he was the one who looked confused. Why was he confused? He was the one giving me crazy mixed signals! “I figured you knew I’d want to see you. Hang out.”.
I shook my head. I didn’t know anything.
He grinned at me this time. “Well, always assume we have plans. You’re the only friend I want to hang out with. Now, could you maybe get some clothes on? That’s uh . . . distracting.”
“You do know you came into my room uninvited, right? If I had known you were coming, I’d have been dressed.”
He smirked. “I texted you.”
“I was in the shower.”
“Minor detail.”
This time I laughed. But I quickly caught myself and bit my lip, hoping Aunt Coralee didn’t hear me. “Turn around,” I whispered.
“Why?”
“So I can get my clothes on.”
“Okay, yeah, that,” he said, and turned to face the wall.
I went over and grabbed a pair of panties from my drawer and then some leggings and a baggy T-shirt. I had never dressed with a guy in the same room. Even though he wasn’t looking, it still made me nervous. I dressed quickly and reached up to run my fingers through my wet hair. Crap. I’d forgotten about my hair.
“I’m done,” I told him as I turned to search for my brush.
“Nice,” he said, which made me pause and look over my shoulder at him.
He winked. I hated it when he winked at me. Mostly because I loved it when he winked. I hated that I loved it. Because friends did not get birds in their tummies over winks.
“You should wear leggings more often,” he said, and I set my attention on looking for a brush. When I finally found it, I started pulling it through my tangled hair before turning back to him.
“How was the field party?” I asked, sitting down on the end of my bed.
He shrugged and sat down beside me. “Boring. You weren’t there. No one else is fun to talk to.”
I rolled my eyes, making him chuckle.
“Your aunt and uncle check on you at night?”
I shook my head. I locked my door at night. I have nightmares and, although I didn’t scream in them, I often cried and whimpered, saying things I didn’t want them to hear.
“Can I stay a while if we whisper?”
Like I would tell him no. I never told him no. Even though I should tell him no. . . . It wouldn’t hurt him for me to tell him no, and he could stand to hear it more often.
“Of course.”
You’re Insane If You Think
I’d Make a Move on My Cousin
CHAPTER 24
WEST
She’d fallen asleep on me—literally, on me—about an hour ago. But I was still here. Her head had been on my shoulder when she’d nodded off and had gradually moved its way to my chest. I had to get out of here before Brady got home and saw my truck parked down the street. His parents might not notice it, but he would. He would also know I was in her room and how I got there. I wasn’t going to push my luck with him.
Easing out from under her, I pulled the covers up so she wouldn’t get cold. Just as I was about to move away, she began to whimper. It was soft, but it was a cry. Then she began to kick and shake her head as the whimpering got louder.
I have nightmares every night. I see my mother die over and over again. Her words replayed in my head. Was that what this was? I began to rub my hand up and down her arm as I assured her she was okay and I was here.
It didn’t help. She kept kicking and then started to moan pitifully.
I hated seeing her like this. Lost in a horror she couldn’t escape. It wasn’t a nightmare. Those weren’t real. Those you could wake up from. This was a memory that haunted her. One she’d never wake up from.
I crawled in bed and lay behind her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her against my chest. I kept whispering in her ear that I was here. That she was in my arms and I wasn’t leaving her. That she’d be okay.
Slowly, she began to ease. She quit kicking and her terrified sounds stopped. Then her fingers wrapped firmly around my arm. She wasn’t letting me go. Even in her sleep she knew I was here, and she was keeping me close.
That felt good. For once, I had helped her. She’d been my rock and my source of peace, but I was never one for her. I thought she’d gone and lived her hell alone. But in reality, she was still living it, and I could do for her what she did for me. Hold on to her so she never lost herself.
Someone was jerking my body back and forth. Groggily, I opened my eyes to see why. It was still dark out. I blinked and looked down to see that Maggie had turned and was now facing me, tucked in close to my body.
A hand on my arm tightened. Apparently, I hadn’t woken up on my own. I looked up to see Brady scowling at me.
“What. The. Fuck,” he growled. “I trusted you.” He was keeping his voice down, which was good. Brady I could handle, but Boone would kill me.
“She had a nightmare. I was just helping her, and then I fell asleep too. I swear to God, that was it.”
Brady’s scowl didn’t lift. “Why were you in her room? It’s after midnight. I know you, West, and you don’t crawl in bed with girls and do nothing.”
He was right about that. Except with Maggie. I did crawl in bed and do nothing with Maggie.
“I would never touch her, Brady. I swear it. She’s my friend, and she needed me. I’m not trying to do anything more with her.”
Brady finally looked like he might believe me. “She’s dressed,” he said.
“Yeah, and so am I. My boots are even still on,” I pointed out.
Brady backed up and nodded for me to move.
I eased away from Maggie and covered her up. Brady w
as her cousin, but I didn’t like the idea of him seeing her in those skintight leggings. Her shirt was bunched around her waist, and you could see a little slice of skin on her stomach. I didn’t want him seeing that either.
“Don’t come back in her room at night.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him, but he was stupid if he thought I wouldn’t come back. If she wanted me here, I’d be back every damn night to check on her.
“We talked. She fell asleep, then she started having a nightmare about the same time I was leaving. I calmed her down and fell asleep in the process.”
Brady gave me a hard nod. “Fine. Now leave.”