And I could feel it. His balls tighten and lift. The ripple of his abdomen, those powerful thighs straining.
That electricity licked and lapped.
Striking.
“God damn it, Rynna. God damn it.”
His hips snapped twice more.
Frantic and frenzied.
Before every glorious inch of him went rigid. A tightly keening bow.
He pulsed with his orgasm, and his head kicked back on a guttural roar as he let himself go.
It was exactly what I’d wanted.
To see this man undone.
To get a glimpse of him with his walls toppled.
And the sight of it . . . the sight of it was magnificent.
His cock throbbed and jerked as he spilled into my mouth, and I gulped him down as I stared up at the ecstasy on his face.
Slowly he opened his eyes, but the same frenzy remained in them. Fire. He quickly lifted me from the floor. Before I could make sense of it, my bottom was balanced on the back of the sofa, my dress around my waist, his fingers spreading me.
Filling me.
His eyes were desperate as he stroked me deep. I moaned as he fucked me with his fingers, his thumb bringing me to ecstasy.
So fast.
So fast I was shocked by the bliss that exploded in my body. A flashflood that came out of nowhere.
Laying me to waste.
My fingers dug into his shoulders as I came. Wave after wave.
He slowed, panting, eyes wild. He stepped back as if he couldn’t make sense of what had just happened between us, slowly lowering my feet to the ground.
“God damn it.” His words cracked.
I sagged, holding onto the back of the couch for support. Spent. Drained. Confused.
He was quick to tuck himself back into his jeans. Looking everywhere but at me, he roughed agitated hands through his hair. “God damn it. God damn it. Friends. Friends. What bullshit.”
He started to frantically pace.
“Rex,” I whispered, trying to break through whatever freak out he was having.
“I can’t . . . I can’t believe I just—fuck!” he shouted and threw an aimless punch into the air. “I can’t do this.”
My knees were shaky, and my heart was erratic. I stretched a hand out toward him. “Why can’t you? Why can’t you do this?”
I’d never been a beggar. I’d never chased a man except for the one who’d broken my heart the day I’d turned eighteen. I was a quick learner. If a man didn’t want what I had to offer, then he didn’t deserve me.
Yet, there was something about Rex Gunner that made me want to shout and plead and pound on his chest. Demand he open up. Show me everything he kept shored up inside.
That same something told me he needed what I had to give. That whatever I’d been lacking, he’d found in me, too.
“I have to get out of here,” he said, stalking for the door.
Shocked and confused, I watched, hurt bubbling up and coating my tongue with disbelief.
He was just going to leave? After what we’d just done?
I pressed my lips together, my chin trembling as I fought tears. Tears bred of hope and frustration. “I told you I’m not afraid. Why are you? All I’m asking is that you take a chance on me. Life’s not worth living without taking them.”
He froze at the door, and he laughed this horrible, cutting sound. He shifted to look at me from over his shoulder. “You want to know why I’m afraid, Rynna?”
His head angled to the side, and his eyes brimmed with a kind of hatred I knew wasn’t directed at me. “I’m afraid because I fuck everything up. I’m afraid because everything I touch? Everything I love? Eventually, I taint it. Ruin it. And then there’s nothing left but misery and suffering and fear. And my daughter . . . my Frankie? She’s all I’ve got left. She’s the one good thing that remains unblemished. And the few bits remaining of me? They belong to her, because I’ve already given everything else. I told you, I don’t have anything to offer you. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, but I refuse to do anything selfish or stupid that would put her happiness at risk.”
He opened the door, but he paused, wavering before he peered back at me again. Surrender carved into every line on his gorgeous face. “I don’t have any chances left to take, Rynna Dayne. I’ve already used up all the ones I’ve been given, and if I take anything else? I’d be nothing but a thief.”
Without another word, he strode out, letting the door drop closed behind him.
It was that moment when the man officially twisted me in two.
Because when he walked out that door? He took a part of me I had no chance of ever getting back.
19
Rynna
I was going to be late.
Shit.
I was going to be really, really late.
And I couldn’t be late.
Everything was riding on this meeting.
In one heel and wearing a fitted skirt, I stumbled out of the walk-in closet, which was filled with a bunch of boxes my grandmother had left behind.
I stumbled, my hand darting out to the wall for support, and paused for a beat in an attempt to shimmy on the other heel. Once I was at least the same height on both sides, I tried again.
Two steps away from the small dressing table on the far side of the room, my ankle rolled.
All the way to the side.
Pain splintered up the outside of my leg.
“Shit,” I yelped as I tried to rebound and stop my fall. The only thing I managed to do was to propel myself forward. Falling fast. My hands shot out, and my fingertips just snagged the edge of the stool a split second before my face slammed against the floor.
My knees weren’t so lucky.
They dug into the worn carpet, pantyhose shredded.
Awesome.
My head dropped between my shoulders, and I fought the sting of tears that rushed to my eyes.
Tears of frustration. Tears of worry. Tears of this heartache that had grown every day since Rex Gunner had walked out my door two weeks ago without another word.
I’d told myself I was just being stupid. Foolish. Chasing a man who obviously wanted nothing to do with me. Just because I told myself those things didn’t mean I could so easily convince myself of them. Not when they felt like a lie.
God. Why did life have to be so complicated? I had enough to worry about without the gorgeous man and his adorable daughter who lived across the street. And somehow, they had become the center of every thought.
Laughter jutted from my mouth.
The maniacal kind.
The kind that could have been sobbing. It all depended on how you heard it. Or maybe on the way you looked at it.
If you aren’t laughing, you’re crying. Now, which would you rather be doing?
My grandmother’s soft encouragement prodded at my consciousness, and I could almost feel the pad of her thumb brushing across my cheek.
I drew in a deep breath, hoping it might give me clarity, guidance, the words a chorus of convoluted whispers that tumbled from my tongue. “I don’t know if I know the difference anymore, Gramma. Things are getting complicated. So complicated, and I don’t know how to handle them all. I don’t know if I can do this. It feels like I’m going to fail.”
God. What if I failed?
The thought made that gulp of air in my lungs throb and threaten to burst. It was a complete rejection of the idea.
Needing to pull myself together, I lifted my head and started to climb to my feet. A frown pulled across my brow when my sight latched on an envelope I’d never noticed before. It was tucked in a small cubby on the dressing table.
“Oh, Gramma.”
I sat up on my knees, fingers trembling with affection and grief. I reached out and pulled the envelope free. I was quick to turn it over, rip open the flap, and tear out the card.
I devoured the words.
Obstacles are everywhere. They often feel insurmountable. Impossible. Sometimes the
y are nothing but stepping-stones. Other times, they are a diversion. A distraction. More often than not, they are there with the simple purpose of showing you that you can.
But every now and again, they are a redirection. A deviation. A repurposing. And this detour? It will guide you to a destination you never imagined you’d go but where you belonged the whole time.
“What are you trying to tell me, Gramma?” I whispered into the nothingness. That nothingness echoed back. Crushing me with affection. With loss. With the memories of her voice and her reason and everything she’d given up for me.
I clutched the letter to my chest. Cherishing her words. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t decipher them. All that mattered was that they were meant for me. Given in a moment I needed them most.
My grandmother always had that way about her. Insight. The uncanny ability to know when I needed a kind word or a soft prod.
Resolved, I pushed to my feet, tore off the ruined pantyhose, and shoved my feet back into the shoes. I dusted a little powder on my nose and ran some shimmery nude gloss across my lips.
I looked at myself in the mirror. “You can do this, Rynna Dayne. You wanted this. Now, go and get it.”
I rushed downstairs and through the living room, grabbing my leather bag and the portfolio I’d prepared that waited inside. Silently, I went through the details in my head. The things I would say, employing some of the strategy tools I’d learned back in San Francisco.
Maybe I was supposed to have gone there. Maybe that experience had been preparing me for this day all along.
I didn’t mean to falter a step when I strode outside and into the morning light.
But I did.
Because Rex Gunner was there, just backing out of the backseat of his truck where I knew he had just gotten done strapping his daughter into her booster seat. His care for her was nearly as breathtaking as his presence.
Regretful eyes moved my direction. I thought maybe he didn’t have the power to stop them. Just the same way as I couldn’t stop my own. My gaze drank him in as if he were forbidden fruit. Something—someone—I wanted so desperately I was willing to try to pluck him free from all the thorny barbs and spindly spines that kept him bound.
That destination perilous.
Hazardous to my health.
Sucking in a stealing breath, I shook off the reaction and forced myself to walk down the steps and to my SUV, barely glancing back when I pulled out of my drive and headed down the road.
But in that barest glimpse I saw him.
I saw his pain. I saw his fear. I saw his regret. And I swore I saw him standing there, held back by that gnarl of branches, wishing I could reach him, too.
But sometimes we have to admit when those obstacles just run too deep.
* * *
Spine stiff and straight, I shifted anxiously in the hard plastic chair. My legs were perfectly pressed together, from my thighs to my knees to my ankles, the portfolio neatly placed on my lap as I waited.
Each second that passed was excruciating, my heart thundering so loud I kept expecting someone to lean my direction and shush me. To tell me to rein in the riot of nerves that stampeded out ahead of me, only to do laps around the small waiting room of the bank.
My gaze darted everywhere, to the tellers, then to the few clerks who were opening and managing accounts in the grouping of cubicle offices that took up the right front side of the bank.
Who would these people be rooting for in this race?
For me?
For my grandmother?
For the vacant, deserted diner that sat only three miles away, begging for someone to take mercy on its desolation?
Scrubbing away the grime would only get me so far.
If I were going to get any farther, I needed money. God knew that five dollars I’d had left to work magic with hadn’t gotten me very far.
A woman appeared at the end of a hall. “Ms. Dayne?”
“Yes?”
She cast me a generous smile. “Mr. Roth will see you now. Right this way.”
Trembling, I stood, fingers shaking as I straightened my skirt. “Thank you.”
I attempted to gather my wits, to put on a brave face, to wear resolve and confidence. I knew I would be riding the fine line of approval since my loan was high risk, and I could only hope my belief in the business would throw it over the edge in my favor.
I followed her down the short hall to where the private loan offices were located. My heels clicked on the tile floor, in tune with the hammer of my heart. It drummed harder and harder with each step.
She gestured with her arm into an office, murmuring, “Good luck,” as she turned to walk back the direction we’d come.
Swallowing hard, I lifted my chin, painting on that firm confidence and forcing myself to wear a smile as I turned the corner of the doorway and stepped into the office.
I faltered to a standstill.
My breath gone.
Stolen.
Stopped by an obstacle I wasn’t sure I could overcome.
Timothy Roth.
Tim.
Handsy asshole from the bar.
Doesn’t understand the word no.
He cracked an arrogant smile. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the lovely . . .” He paused to inspect the name on the application that sat open on his desk. The pre-approval application I’d dropped off three days ago before my scheduled appointment with the head loan officer.
Timothy Roth.
“Corinne Dayne.” He rocked back in his big leather office chair, looking as if he’d just won the lottery. Or more like he was just holding hostage the numbers to my winning lottery ticket.
That sounded about right.
Dread slithered up my throat, like the slow, slimy slide of a snake. Constricting from the outside. Suffocating from the inside.
“Mr. Roth.” It was a breath of uncertainty. Of indecision and doubt.
Why? First Aaron, and then this asshole? What was I going to do?
He gestured a little too eagerly to the chair that sat across from his desk. “Please, shut the door and take a seat.”
My body quaked, but I did what I was told, the door snapping shut behind me, my feet unsteady as I took the three steps to stand in front of his desk. In discomfort, I eased down onto the chair.
Get it together, Rynna. This is too important for you to mess up now. Don’t let either of these jerks hold you back.
I wasn’t fool enough to think all things didn’t come at a cost. And sometimes that cost was your pride.
“Thank you for meeting with me,” I managed.
He had his elbow propped on the armrest of his chair, his index finger at his temple and his thumb under his jaw. Blatantly, he looked me up and down. His eager smile curved into a smirk. “The pleasure’s all mine.”
I ignored the lump that thickened in my throat. “I hope you’ve had the chance to look at my application.”
“Yes, I have, and we appreciate you looking to our establishment for your needs.”
Okay. This was good. We could totally ignore our previous awkward situation.
I nodded, continued. “As you read, I inherited Pepper’s Pies from my grandmother when she passed away several months ago.” God, I hated the way it came out, as if she were nothing but a distant memory. Not when her loss was a fresh wound that ached inside of me. I forced a small smile. “The location is on Fairview, a prime location, especially with all the renovations currently happening in the area.”
He thumbed through the paperwork. I eased a little, my rigid spine softening when he turned his attention from me and to the reason I was here.
“And you’re asking for two-hundred-thousand dollars?” he asked, still perusing the sheets. “How did you come to this number?”
“Yes. I had an estimator come in before I took over holdings on the building. It should be sufficient to get us up and running again.”
He nodded. “That’s good.”
Hope blazed to life.
I shifted to the edge of the chair. “You can see we have the profit and loss estimates on page thirteen. With the reputation of the diner, I was told I could expect profits to exceed the loss within a year. It will give me plenty for the upkeep of the diner, a modest salary for myself, and the ability to pay the loan each month.”
Okay, maybe it was a bit of a stretch. I’d be riding a fine line. But I was willing to put in the extra work.
Studying that page, he rubbed his chin. “Estimates are estimates, Ms. Dayne. There’s no guarantee customers will be rushing back to the diner.”
That hope fizzled a little, but I pulled it together, prepared for this type of resistance. “I wouldn’t consider my situation atypical. Most small businesses begin with a loan, just the same as I’m seeking from this bank. And most start-ups don’t already have a name behind them. We have a built-in customer base, and with the hotel going in across the street, there will be hundreds of hungry people in front of my restaurant every single day.”
A smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, and I smiled back eagerly. He flipped the folder closed and rocked back in his seat, threading his fingers together. “I’ll tell you what . . .”
“Yes?” I edged forward more just as he leaned over his desk, unable to stop myself from mimicking his posture, those dreams I’d once held now dangling right out in front of me like a carrot.
His voice lowered as he leaned even closer. “We discuss this over dinner and you can show me just how badly you want this loan.”
Something sinister had infiltrated those words.
Something dark and vulgar.
The hairs at my nape prickled in a sickening kind of awareness.
“Excuse me?” I asked, barely able to speak.
“You look like a smart woman, Ms. Dayne. I think you’re playing coy again.”
Every sleazy memory of him came rushing back, the arrogant man who didn’t know how to take no for an answer and thought women should bow at his feet. But this was his job. Was he really going there?
“I think you need to demonstrate just how good you are.” Every word was packed with innuendo. “Show me why I should recommend this loan for approval.”
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 46