Her shoulders drop, and I nod, pressing my lips into a frown. “But I’ll learn. Maybe we can learn together?”
Her excitement returns. “Yes!”
“In the meantime…” I pass her a plastic pouch of yogurt and pull a loaf of bread out of the small box on the counter. “Go-gurt and toast. I’ll put some peanut butter on it.”
That satisfies her, and Eleanor breezes into the room wearing beige pants and a navy sweater with a neat Chanel scarf tied at her neck.
“Good morning, Lillie, Ruby. I trust you slept well?” She places a mug in the Keurig, pops in a pod, and hits the brew button. “Sorry I had to turn in early. I was very tired. Guess I’m getting older.”
I don’t believe that for a second. She’s studying me like one of those predator birds, searching for signs of weakness. Too bad she’s not going to find any.
“No worries.” I smile as I spread peanut butter on Lillie’s toast—all-natural, of course. “Lillie showed me my room.” I wink at my little charge as I hand her the toast. “Remi filled in the rest.”
Her eyes narrow, and I know what she’s thinking.
I’m just going to let her think it, too.
“Ready to go to school?” She turns to her granddaughter, who’s stuffing toast in her mouth and nodding. “My goodness, Lillian, that’s not what you’re wearing is it?”
For a moment, I’m confused. Lillie is dressed in a sea green skirt, made of layers of thick, sparkly tulle and a white tee with a glittery Make Waves and a blue-green-lavender mermaid. On her feet are iridescent silver Uggs.
“Ruby said I could!” Lillie cries.
“I’m not surprised.” Eleanor sneers at my outfit.
“What?” I glance down at the flowing purple skirt I’m wearing with a white tee that says Stay Gold on the front and black converse tennis shoes. I put on light makeup, pink lips and mascara with just a touch of blush.
I’m very nanny-chic, if you ask me.
“I’m confused.” I look up at Eleanor again. “Is she not supposed to wear those boots to school?”
I imagine she’ll be running and jumping and climbing and doing whatever else little kids do all day with their friends. Maybe tennis shoes are more appropriate.
“I placed out a lovely smocked dress for her to wear last night, and her black patent Mary Janes and lace socks.”
“Oh…” I did see that. “I thought that was for Sunday.”
“Yesterday was Sunday.” Blue eyes level on mine. “Lillian has many nice dresses. At the rate she’s growing, she’ll hardly get to wear any of them before they’re too small.”
I pinch my lips together, thinking. When she got dressed this morning, Lillie was very excited about putting her outfit together.
I think she’s adorable in it.
Still… this is our first crossing of swords and how I handle it is going to set the tone going forward. I choose my words carefully, keeping my voice level, firm, and not aggressive.
“I imagine it’s hard to run and play in those dresses and shoes… And I don’t think they show off her personality.”
Eleanor’s gaze narrows. “Lillian is four. Her personality is still ours to mold.” That statement makes me bristle. “Besides, Oaklawn is a very prestigious school. She should look the part.”
Now I understand what she’s worried about, and I remember my mother’s complaint. Eleanor wants Lillie to look like a catalog model and not a real, live four-year-old. I also see what Remi vaguely referenced in our earlier conversations.
“I think Lillie’s outfit is adorable and perfect for a day at preschool.” I’m not backing down.
“She looks like a vagrant.” Eleanor’s annoyance is barely hidden.
Remi walks in the room at that exact moment, looking fine as always. “Morning, ladies.” He goes to the Keurig, oblivious to the tension crackling in the air.
“Daddy!” Lillie rocks on her stool, finishing her toast, and seeming about as oblivious as her dad. “I’m eating toast.”
“What’s that? Peanut butter?” He tweaks her nose. “You’re a little peanut butter.”
“I am not!” She cries, giggling.
His smile turns to me, and damn, it’s the same as last night—interested, focused, irresistible. “Did you sleep well? Got everything you need?”
Hardly. I feel the heat in my cheeks, and I don’t want to respond to him this way in front of Eleanor. Especially not in the middle of a power struggle.
“I’m good.” I take a sip of cool coffee. “Everything is perfect.”
Eleanor takes advantage of our fizzy moment to reassert her power. “Lillian, go to your room and change. Now. We don’t have time to waste.”
Lillie whines and looks to me for help. My eyes go to Eleanor’s, and I pick up my car keys. “You’re right. We don’t have time if I’m going to meet her teacher. We need to leave now.”
“She will not go to school dressed this way. She looks like a… a—”
“Mermaid princess!” Remi scoops his daughter off the stool into the air.
He’s wearing a short-sleeved tee, and the muscles in his arms line and flex. As if that wasn’t enough, Lillie’s tummy peeps out, and he lowers her to his mouth for a loud, sloppy raspberry.
“Dad-day! Dad-day!” Lillie screams, laughing and squealing so shrill, dogs cry.
A smile splits my cheeks, and damn him. I might have just fallen in love in that moment.
He laughs and lowers his daughter in his arms. Her cheeks are pink and her laughter contagious. “You’d better get out of here before you miss the first bell.”
“No!” In a flash, her little face goes serious, and she wiggles to get out of his arms. “I’ll have to move my monkey!”
I have no idea what that means, but Lillie grabs my hand, pulling me to the door. I snatch my bag off a nearby chair. My keys are in my hand, and I look to see if Eleanor is still planning to ride with us.
“Have a nice day, Lillian, I’ll see you this afternoon.” She turns on her heel and stalks off in the opposite direction.
A smile teases my lips, and it takes all my willpower not to do a little fist pump. At the same time, I know this isn’t over.
Oaklawn Preschool looks more like an expensive boarding school than a school for kids five and under. It’s another new addition to accommodate the wealthier families moving into Oakville from Charleston—much like Eagleton Heights.
Parking in the small lot, I notice the Audis, Mercedes, Acuras, and other fancy cars lined in the circle drive. I’d feel inferior, but I guess I’m the high-priced nanny. That gives me a certain level of clout.
“You’ll have to show me your room.” I look in the rearview mirror at Lillie sitting in her booster in the backseat.
She’s so cute in her mermaid getup. Right before we walked out the door, she grabbed a headband with feathers and a tiara on top.
“Ms. Terry is in the E hall.” She takes my hand like a regular little adult and leads me across the lawn and up the stone steps.
Walking past mothers in starched skirts and blouses, scarves, and Prada bags, I get Eleanor’s insistence on Lillie’s attire. All the little girls are wearing smocked dresses and patent leather shoes. Hell, I’m starting to wonder if they even play at this school.
Lillie’s teacher, by contrast, is delightful. A petite young woman with light blonde hair and a bright smile, Ms. Terry is round and huggable and clearly in love with her class.
“Good morning, Lillie! My, you look fancy! Are you a mermaid?” Lillie nods excitedly, and her teacher continues. “Get your things from your cubby. Today we’re learning red monster number two or dos.”
I’m impressed. Colors, numbers, and Spanish. “Hi, I’m Ruby, Lillie’s new nanny.”
“Nice to meet you!” She shakes my hand, and we spend a few short minutes getting to know each other. I give her my cell number, and she gives me the syllabus for the semester. A syllabus in preschool? Walking away, I search the sheet for where they get dir
ty.
“Lillie has a new nanny?” That voice doesn’t sound friendly.
Turning, I can’t believe it. “Serena Whitehead? I thought you moved to Charleston.”
“Ruby Banks?” She does not smile. “It’s Serena North now. My husband Dr. Phillip North and I just moved back to Oakville with our daughter Whitney. I see you’re still here. Working as a nanny now? Is that right?”
The way she says it makes me want to crawl under a rock.
Which I will not do.
“Remi needed help, so I agreed to do this for a month.”
“Remi?” Another woman, slightly older steps up to join us. She’s wearing a starched white shirt, a floral, tea-length skirt right out of the 1950s, and a condescending sneer. “What’s this about Remi? Who are you?”
“It appears Remington has hired a new nanny.” Serena says. “Ruby Banks, this is Anita Flagstaff.”
“Hello.” I nod. “Nice to meet you. I have to go.”
“Just a minute.” Anita is still scowling, looking me up and down. “You’re the new nanny? Where’s Eleanor?”
“I’m sorry. Why are you asking?”
“I was best friends with Sandra Burnside Key. I want to be sure Lillian and Remi aren’t being… taken advantage of.”
“Is that so?” One thing’s for sure, this woman won’t bully me. “Did someone ask you to do that?”
“Of course not. I consider it my duty as Sandy’s friend.”
“Perhaps this is something you should discuss with Remi. I don’t feel comfortable discussing family matters with strangers.”
Turning on my heel, I square my shoulders and walk with purpose toward the door.
Anita Flagbitch speaks in a whisper loud enough for me to hear. “Looks like a live-in geisha to me.”
“All I know is Phillip better not get any ideas.” Serena’s voice is rude as it ever was. “Ruby Banks is trouble.”
My face tries to get hot, but I fight it. For starters, I’m a nanny, I’m not Japanese, and by definition geishas did not all sell sex. Many of them were artists, musicians, and educated companions…
Whatever. All that explaining would be “casting pearls before swine,” as Ma would say.
Instead, I push through the door and through my feelings of embarrassment. I’m not doing anything wrong, and I’m too old for these women to hurt me.
6
Remi
Hiring Ruby might be the best decision I’ve made all year.
When I walked into the kitchen this morning, I could tell something was up by the way Lillie was dressed. Since she started preschool, Eleanor has had her walking around looking like an escapee from Toddlers and Tiaras, minus all the makeup. And the tiara.
I think my daughter might have liked that part.
Seeing Lillie laughing, brimming with excitement, and looking like a regular little kid this morning, melted my insides. The stress is off, and she’s having fun again.
Don’t get me wrong. If Lillie were the type of kid who wanted to wear smocked dresses and patent leather shoes all the time, I could deal with it. I want my daughter to be happy, but this morning I saw her true personality.
I also saw Eleanor’s attempts to control it, whether it’s because she doesn’t know how to let Lillie express herself or because she sees that expression as a threat. I don’t know.
Ruby, by contrast, lets my daughter shine. She gets on her level and plays with her. She talks to her, but she doesn’t force her to be an adult.
It’s incredible how it affects me. She’s like a gift.
Walking around my office, I toss the stress ball in the air, giving it a squeeze every time I catch it. I stop at the French doors facing the lake in my office.
All three floors have them. They’re lined up parallel to each other, with balconies on the second and third levels.
Ruby’s right, it’s a beautiful home, and the layout works well with my family situation. Each floor has privacy, like its own quarters… I never noticed it before.
I haven’t noticed a lot of things.
Gazing out at the calm waters, the cranes stepping carefully along the banks, I dismiss any second thoughts I might have had about hiring Ruby.
Sure, it was impulsive and seemingly out of the blue, but I’d been researching hiring a nanny for weeks. I had planned to go through a service, but trusting my gut has gotten me this far, and Ruby is clearly the right person for the job.
She’s a smart, independent woman who isn’t afraid of Eleanor and who also happens to be great with Lillie. It’s a stroke of luck I’m not sure a service would have provided.
My mind drifts to the way she took Lillie’s invitation to play that Disney princess scene last night. Ruby didn’t care who saw her. She didn’t care if it was silly. She only cared about getting to know my little girl and making a friend.
Seeing her that way did something more, though. It found a crack in the wall I’d built around my heart. It took all the feelings I’d set aside and stirred them up, twisting them into a new and unexpected emotion.
I realized in that moment… I am different.
Before, I didn’t believe I could ever move on without betraying my wife’s memory, no matter how many self-help books I read. It didn’t matter if I had more than half of my life still ahead of me… I felt guilty if I responded to the sight of a beautiful woman.
Hell, I felt guilty for being attracted to Ruby.
Despite everything Drew said, I couldn’t let go and learn to live again. What changed?
I don’t have to ask. The answer struts around this house with bouncing curls and sparkly mermaid shirts. Lillie is the key to it all, and now I have to decide how I’m going to handle this new information.
Before, when it was only attraction, I could dismiss it. I’m a mature adult, I’m seven years older than Ruby, I can handle myself.
Now that she’s become my ally, now that I know she’s smart and tough as well as sexy, now that she’s stolen Lillie’s heart and treats my daughter like I would…
It’s a pull I’m finding hard to resist.
I turn from the window and toss the stress ball on my desk. I will resist it. I’ll focus on something different, what I hope to accomplish. The reason I hired Ruby in the first place.
Sure, it was so I could move Eleanor into her proper place, but it was also so I could focus on my work and move my investment firm to the next level.
I’ve been following a few tech startups. One even has a bid from the military that could bring in a huge windfall in the coming months, but I’ve fallen out of the mix. Now I’m ready to get back in there and start doing more. Having more time means I can keep the investments rolling.
Picking up my phone, I tap out the old, familiar number. It only rings once before my friend and investment scout answers.
“Hastings here.” Stephen’s voice hasn’t changed. It’s as impatient and arrogant as always. “What’s on your mind, Remington? Psychology Today?”
“I want to know the latest on the Stellan project.”
I tried to acquire the communications security app a year ago, but I confess, fighting with Eleanor and my own apathy probably lost me the deal.
He exhales as if he’s bored. “You haven’t asked about Stellan in six months.”
“I’m asking about it now.”
I hear his fingers tapping on computer keys. “Looks like he took some time off. Probably found a glitch or bumped into a patent issue.”
“Let’s hope it’s the former. Send him a note. Say I’m still interested if he’d like to talk to me and see if there are any rising projects along the same lines out there. I want to be the go-to guy when it comes to military security.”
“You always were. Until you dropped out of sight.”
“Right. I’ll be doing research on my end, and Stephen, get me an invite to the Empire Investments annual gala.”
If anyone can get me to the capital investors’ Manhattan party of the year, it’s my old N
avy buddy.
“Are you saying you’re back?”
“I’m back.”
With Ruby taking care of Lillie, I won’t be fighting with anyone. I can work uninterrupted. I’ll dig in and make the most of my time, not having to check in and intervene every few hours.
Still, Eleanor’s voice is in my head. “Your daughter is only four once. A large inheritance won’t make up for spending time with her father.”
As much as it grates my nerves, she’s right.
I grew up with a dad who chose work over me. He was never around for anything I did. He missed every baseball game, every science fair, and every awards ceremony. Yet, he always showed up to let me know when I was getting off track. He always managed to assert his control without ever showing me his love.
Lillie will not have the same lonely childhood I did.
Pulling out a post-it, I hastily scribble a note across the front: Time for Lillie.
I slap it on the bulletin board and stick a pin in it to be sure it doesn’t fall off.
Every day, no matter what, I’ll make time for her, spend time with her, make sure she knows no matter how important Daddy’s job is, it’s never more important than her.
A close second: No sex with Ruby.
My hand goes to my stomach, and I rub the sting away. Yeah, she’s pretty great. Her smile warms my insides and everything she does feels special. The worst thing I could do is have a casual fling with her.
For starters, what happens when it’s over? How could she continue working here with us seeing each other every day? How could she continue living in the house? It’s too much of a risk to expect things to go back to normal after something like that.
I suppose it could happen, but I can’t take the chance. No matter how strong my feelings are for her, I will not act on them.
I don’t write it down, obviously, but it’s decided.
The rapid thud of footsteps on the stairs draws my attention to my open door just in time to see the woman in question on her way to the third floor.
Her purple skirt swishes around her legs, up to her narrow waist. Her silky hair falls around her shoulders and her small breasts bounce… Damn, I reach down to adjust my fly.
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