I tried to force a brave face for Grady yesterday. On the inside I was crumbling faster than a tissue in the rain. He looked so defeated. The dark cavern in his green eyes made me shiver. I can’t let him rot in that disgusting place. Our lack of options are making me sicker by the day. My wheels are spinning to the point of failure.
I can’t take the silence another moment. “What’re we gonna do, Ace?”
My brother drags his foot on the deck to pause our endless loop. “I dunno, Sutt.”
I’ve asked a similar version of this question an infinite amount over the last eight days. Jace always gives a nearly identical response. Just one more way we’re stuck. I press two fingers over my puffy eyes. “He’s already changing from being in that awful place. We have to help him.”
“I’m well aware. Too bad our hands are mostly tied.”
“We need to try harder.”
My brother groans and thumps the back of his head on the seat. “Don’t you think I know that? We’ve been over this.”
I tug on a snarl in my hair. “There has to be something we’ve missed. Can’t we uncover a piece of clear evidence in his favor? Grady didn’t have any blood under his nails or traces of Lance on him. How can they prove he hit him?”
His gives me a pitiful shrug. “They really can’t. But no one else was around. It goes both ways. Assault is a fine line like that. All signs point to Grady being the guilty party.”
A groan barrels out of me. “That’s bullshit. There should be a more in depth investigation before tossing someone in jail.”
“I’m not disagreeing with you, Sutt. But think about how it looks to everyone from the outer edge. Lance comes across as an innocent police officer trying to keep the peace. This was another bar fight gone to the extreme. Grady is the brute bully throwing fists.”
“Well, they’re all morons with a skewed view. He’s the greatest kind of man.”
Jace nods and nudges my arm. “He truly is. It’s a shame more don’t see him that way.” He clears his throat, avoiding eye contact. “I owe you an apology.”
My thoughts reel on a zipline while I gape at him. My brother rarely admits to any sort of wrongdoing. “For what?”
“I’ve given you a lot of shit for dating Grady. That isn’t fair. I should be more supportive. You’re clearly meant to be with one another. So, I’m sorry for my shitty attitude.”
My lashes stick together when I blink at him. I find myself at a loss for words. “O-okay.”
His lips twitch ever so slightly. “I also need to say thanks.”
A wrinkle pinches my brow. “For what?”
“Bringing my best friend back to life. He was lost without you. I didn’t realize just how much until you came home. That dude brightens up whenever you’re nearby.” His smile tips a bit higher. “Grady really loves you, Sutt.”
I feel the tremble start in my chin. The heat pinches my eyes shortly after. Soon tears zigzag down my cheeks. I press a hand to my chest and check for a Grady-sized hole.
Jace’s gaze snaps wide open. “Ah, hell. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I wrap my arms around him and sputter into his shoulder. “T-that is s-so sweet. Thank y-you, Jace. I needed to hear that.”
“As if you didn’t know,” he murmurs into my hair.
“It’s so hard being apart from him,” I sob. “Everything seems so hopeless lately. I miss him so much.”
“I guarantee he misses you more.”
“We’re supposed to be carrying out our happy somethings and making new ones. But he isn’t here.” I hiccup over a shuddering exhale.
He hugs me tighter. “A happy what?”
“It’s special between us. Joyful moments.”
“You’re still doing those? I remember hearing a few when we were young.”
“We never really stopped.” At least our hearts didn’t.
Jace forces out a dry chuckle. “Damn, you two are perfect.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“It’s gonna be okay, Sutt. Life can’t be this unjust.”
I pull away from him, catching his stare. “You sure about that?”
His body deflates with a long sigh. “No, but I have faith. Something will give.”
“Have you dug up any new info on Lance?”
He reclines on the swing, pushing off the ground so we begin rocking again. “Nah. The guy is definitely shady, but he covers his tracks well. A few friends on the force tell me he’s an oddball and hard to work with. No one wants to patrol with him.”
“Isn’t that a red flag?”
“Not a big enough one. Do you recall anything else about when he was in school with you?”
I lay my cheek on an open palm. “It’s tough to remember more and I don’t know who to ask. All I’m certain of is his family moved to Silo Springs our freshman year. He didn’t stand out in the crowd. I never noticed him.”
“Maybe that’s part of the problem,” he mutters.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been hearing he’s rather obsessed with you, Sutt.”
I glare across the yard at a wide expanse of nothing. “That’s what people keep telling me.”
Jace grunts. “Yeah, exactly. It probably didn’t help his delusions when you wouldn’t give him the time of day. Who the hell knows. That’s a wild assumption.”
Blame rests heavy on my shoulders. “This is probably all my fault. Grady was on his radar because of me.”
He shakes his head. “No, that’s not true. Lance was picking on Grady when you were off at college.”
“Yeah, after I ignored him all four years of high school. What can I do about it now?”
“Have you talked to Molly? Maybe she’s privy to something useful.”
I yank at the collar of my shirt, a creeping sensation prodding at me. “They broke up. I think it was his doing. She doesn’t seem too bent out of shape, but also didn’t want to discuss it.”
He blows out all the air trapped in his cheeks. “Damn. There goes that lead.”
“Should I try talking to him?”
Jace jerks his startled gaze to mine. “No. Absolutely not. It’s too dangerous.”
“But what if he tells me the truth? I can save Grady.”
“At what cost, Sutt? I can’t let you dive into this shitfest headfirst. We’ll think of something else. Be smart and safe.”
Grady’s warnings come screeching to the surface. Another bout of searing pressure squeezes my eyes and I look away. My brother notices.
“What’s wrong?”
I wipe my face against my bent knees. “Grady told me the same thing.”
He smirks. “Because he’s looking out for you. I’m not surprised in the slightest. Even locked up, he’s watching your back.”
“I want to return the favor.”
“Then stay out of trouble. For all our sakes.”
My empty stomach gurgles, choking on acid and cracking dreams. “Easier said than done, Ace.”
He bumps into me. “I mean it, little sister. We all want Grady to be set free. Don’t do anything to jeopardize yourself for when that happens.”
I hunch lower in the seat and roll my eyes. “Fine, I’ll just sit idly by and wait for my boyfriend to get magically released.”
Jace snorts over a laugh. “And I almost believe you. Listen, I’m going to trap that bastard in his lie. He’s bound to squeal at some point, right?”
“Who knows how long that could take. Grady might be serving a twelve-month sentence by then.”
“It would be a lot easier to wring Lance’s neck until he spills the truth. But we know how that’ll end.”
“Unfortunately. Please don’t get yourself arrested. I can’t fight this without you.”
He ruffles my hair. “Likewise, Sutt. Let’s leave physical violence out of the equation. When can you visit Grady again? We need to get his full story.”
Ash forms on my tongue. “Next Sunday.”
My brother whist
les. “Damn, that’s ruthless. He only gets to see you once a week?”
“Don’t remind me.”
We settle into a beat of silence and a blanket of numb envelops me. I welcome the reprieve for a few moments. It doesn’t last more than a handful of seconds. Thankfully I’m distracted by a flurry of movement in front of us.
Bear scampers across the yard, probably chasing a stray cat. It’s good to see him running around instead of staring down the empty driveway, waiting for his best friend to come home. I brought him along so he wasn’t alone. He makes me feel like a piece of Grady is with us.
“He’s a really great dog.” Jace leans forward and calls to him. Bear bounds over with a trail of drool dangling from his mouth. I cringe and cross my fingers that the slobber disappears. My brother doesn’t seem to mind, scratching under his jaw and ears. Bear shuffles closer and practically climbs into his lap.
Jace chuckles. “Grady isn’t the only one you’re changing.”
“What do you mean?”
“This pooch had a serious vendetta against me. He’s never been my biggest fan, but you’re softening him up.”
A twinge of glee tickles my gut. “That’s a nice sentiment. Pretty sure he’s just lonely.”
“Nah, he’s becoming a lover. Just like his owner.”
I fan at my eyes, refusing to cry for a third time. “Dammit, Jace. Stop being so sweet.”
“Quit being so emotional,” he shoots back.
“I have a decent excuse.”
“Yeah, you’re off the hook. Sob away. I’ll loan you my shoulder.” He continues petting Bear, who rolls over and offers his belly for a rub. My brother doesn’t hesitate and lavishes the dog with attention. We’re all a bunch of blubbering softies.
And on that note.
I reach for my favorite uplifting romance that’s reliably waiting on an end table. Best Laid Plans by LK Farlow always hits me right in the feels. Even on my lowest days, I can count on her words to bring me back to the surface. Maybe getting lost in the pages will help me figure out a stellar plan of my own.
Lord only knows what kind of miracle we need to get Grady out of this mess.
30
Grady
Happy something #97: Waking up with the sunshine warming my face.
I pace the short length of my cell, a caged lion preparing for an attack. Seconds bleed into minutes with the pounding of my shoes. Only silence greets me. Slapping footsteps along the linoleum hall never come. Doors remain firmly locked. No one travels in or out of this wing. The guards are avoiding me on purpose. Their new game is to keep me waiting until I snap. That fragile hold I maintain on my control is beginning to fray.
The forced isolation is getting to me, chipping away at my sanity. I can’t fucking handle this version of persecution. Keeping my wrists cuffed for over twelve hours was only the beginning. The skin is still raw days later, but I barely notice. Not while they ramp up the cruelty when I refuse to bend. I’m not a docile inmate they can boss around. That doesn’t stop them from trying.
Life wasn’t supposed to smash against rock bottom after Sutton returned from college. We were doing everything right, and finally starting our forever together. But she’s being kept away from me on purpose. It’s not too shocking considering the shit I’m always being dealt. I’m capable of handling their hate. Dragging Sutton into the depths of hell is what fractures the reconstructed fissures in my heart.
I’ve never needed a happy something more than this moment. She graciously penned me one, but these bastards are still holding it as ransom for my soul. The guards must take courses on doling out torture in its most wicked form.
They’ve already taunted me this morning. Grousse—the worst of them all—waved my salvation in front of the window as he strolled by. My name printed in her neat script was barely legible through the grimy glass. All I’m able to imagine is their greasy fingerprints tainting her pristine intentions. I’d felt the shift inside of me. They stole another piece of my soul. My spirit is tainted. My ego is battered. I’m whipped and beaten, but not broken. There’s still some pride left in me. The black abyss is beckoning me in with open arms. My defenses are splintering further with every nasty word spat at me.
It’s been three damn days. Seventy-two hours they’ve held her words from me. They’ve tried to make me surrender. The letter is a reward only a trained puppet shall receive. But those pages belong to me. Sutton is mine, dammit.
I’m almost convinced my ears are playing tricks when a low whistle kicks up beyond my walls. The shallow clip of steel-toed boots soon follows. In the next instant, I’m at the door with my palms pressed flat against the metal. My desperation is pitiful, but I could give half a shit. Let them laugh at my barking demands. It won’t change the outcome. That doesn’t stop me from trying.
When Matthews comes into view, I almost crash to my knees. He’s my best chance. “Hey, Lush.”
His feet stumble to a halt. He pins me with a glare. “You know better than to use that nickname.”
I swallow a humble dose of defeat and try again. “Sorry, C.O. My bad.”
Matthews turns to face me straight on. “That’s more like it. How's the afternoon treating you?”
Good to know it’s past lunch. They haven’t given me anything to eat since that moldy bagel earlier. “Like shit. Haven’t seen the sun in over a week.”
His expression remains flat. “Should’ve thought things through before breaking the law.”
I snap my fingers. “Aww, shucks. Guess it sucks to be me since I’m innocent.”
Matthews cocks his head back and belts out a hoot. “Yeah, heard that a time or two. Oh, wait. I have. You and every other con on this block babble the same bullshit. Save it, Bowen.”
“I don’t fucking belong here,” I spit against the scratched window between us.
“You think being holed up at county is bad? Just wait until you’re shipped off to state. Then you’ll be wishing things were different.”
Was he for real right now? None of this was okay. I’m falsely accused of bogus charges. “They have no evidence,” I argue.
He salutes at me. “Keep telling yourself that. There’s no disputing your crime. Take a plea. Serve your time. Walk away a free man.”
As if it’s that easy. I grunt, done with this pointless conversation. “You have something for me?”
He makes a show of patting his pockets. “Nope. Grousse is still whacking off to your girl’s dirty mouth. She’s a keeper, Bowen.”
A prisoner isn’t afforded privacy. There’s no such thing as violating my rights because I don’t have any. Even the most basic and bare have been stripped from me. I didn’t do a damn thing wrong. There was no crime committed to land my ass in here. Not by my hand, at least. It would be easy to lose my shit and go nuclear. But it won’t change my fate. I won’t stoop to their level.
I grind my molars until a filling threatens to crack. “Give me my damn letter.”
He chokes out a laugh. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“Wanna spend a night in solitary, inmate?”
His threat of the SHU doesn’t scare me. Anyone else touching Sutton’s words is enough to release a savage beast inside of me. But ripping his throat out won’t grant me any favors. I choose to stay silent.
He raises a brow at me. “Good choice. Being a nasty fuck to the guards in this joint won’t grant you any favors.”
I sneer at him. “What the fuck does it matter? I’m already considered guilty before my trial has been set.”
“You wanna be locked up longer? Fine, be my guest. Cock off to whoever the hell you want.”
Was he helping me? Or setting a trap? I couldn’t be too sure anymore. My head has been in a fog since Lance cornered me and punched himself. I’m snapped out of it by the sweetest sound this place offers.
That creaking slide of metal usually signals chow time. I couldn’t care less about food. Pavlov and his dog would be salivating. He toss
es my lifeline through the narrow slot. “It’s your lucky day, inmate. Turns out someone on the outside is pulling strings for your ass. The warden gave us strict instructions to quit dicking you around.”
I snag the envelope before it drops to the filthy floor. The seal has been torn open, but that doesn’t surprise me. I doubt any mail passes through here without a thorough inspection.
“You’re welcome,” he mutters.
All I offer him is a flick of my injured wrist. His poison can’t touch me now. It’s not like he gained a sudden soft spot and decided to throw me a bone. He can piss off. After a couple of colorful curses, Matthews leaves me alone.
I trace my name in Sutton’s bold writing, getting a direct hit of warmth injected into my veins. The urgency to be near her trembles my fingers. I almost rip the thin sheets in my haste. A burst of sweet summer flowers and a mixture of my favorite fruits waft off the paper. I almost groan while burying my nose in the open pages. Damn, I miss her.
A pang reverberates across my ribs with a shallow breath. She scrawled my name in a ridiculous loopy style along the top. The sight makes me grin. My girl put some effort into this note. I enjoy another deep inhale and let her voice play in my head.
Hey, Gray.
I wish my first officially delivered love letter to you arrived under different circumstances. Yeah, that’s right. There’s been at least a hundred scribbled confessions of my undying devotion prior to this. I think they’re all stored in a box at my parents’ place if you’re ever interested. I was too chicken to admit that until now. No more secrets. I’ve always been crazy in love with you, Grady Bowen.
But I digress.
Remember when we first met? I’ll never forget a single second of that night. You looked so lost and sad. All I wanted was to hug you. That’s all I want to do now, Gray. I want to wrap my arms around you and say everything will be okay. It has to be. I refuse to believe otherwise.
Tempt Me: A First Class Romance Collection Page 108