by Nalini Singh
“Okay. I have to go.” She was so hungry for Nate’s touch that even the idea of him with another woman bruised her raw.
Juanita didn’t release her. “You’re not listening, Tammy. I’m telling you that that man never looked at me with the kind of wild heat with which he looks at you. He never craved me, not like he craves you.”
Tamsyn stared at the other woman. “He left me,” she found herself saying. “I was all but offering myself to him on a silver platter and he left me. He doesn’t crave me.”
Juanita laughed. “The man wants you so much, he’s driving all the juveniles crazy. You know how sensitive they are to sexual hunger, and right now, Nate is a six-feet-plus shot of pure animal need. And he’s not interested in anyone but you.”
“But—”
“But nothing.” Juanita stood and waited until Tamsyn, too, was up before continuing. “Don’t take this the wrong way but you’re young.”
How else could she take it? “I’m more mature than people years older.”
“Yes, you are. I wouldn’t hesitate to come to you for advice on a thousand things.” Juanita’s matter-of-fact words took the wind out of Tamsyn’s sails. “But there’s one area in which you are a babe in the woods.”
“Men,” Tamsyn whispered, embarrassment a blaze across her cheeks.
“Yep. You were one of the lucky ones—you found your mate early, but that came with a price.” Juanita didn’t need to spell it out. “So trust me when I tell you the man is dying for a taste of you.”
Tamsyn ached to believe. “He’s very good at hiding it.”
“Of course he is. He’s stubborn and he’s dominant. He wants to do this his way. It’s up to you to change his mind. Please do it before he drives everyone insane.”
Taking a deep breath, Tamsyn swallowed her pride and put her faith in the bonds of Pack. “You have experience. Teach me what I need to know.”
Juanita grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”
• • •
A day after he’d left Tammy sleeping by the fire, Nate returned from a meeting with Lachlan to find the area around her home crawling with children. Not all of them were exactly underage. “What are you doing?” he asked Cian, who was sitting on what looked like a bench and table set stolen from their alpha’s backyard.
The older man grinned. “Making Christmas decorations, what does it look like?” He returned to painting the small glass ball in his hand.
“Why?” Nate insisted.
Cian scowled at him. “Because Tamsyn said I had to.”
“She’s less than half your age.”
“Have you tried to argue with her when she wants to get her own way?” Shaking his head, Cian returned to his task. “Besides, it’s kind of fun. And she’s got the juveniles interested in something other than raising hell, which makes our job easier.”
Now that Cian had mentioned it, Nate realized just how many of the older kids were present. Even arm-cast-laden Dorian appeared to be having fun. Nate watched as the boy bent down to help a five-year-old paint something on her globe. When she smiled, so did Dorian.
Turning his head, Nate found Lucas sitting with another group of young ones. Several cubs were trying to use his body as a climbing frame, but from the sharp grin on his face, he didn’t seem to be worried. He called out to someone else and Nate’s eyes followed his gaze to locate another unexpected addition to Tamsyn’s gathering. Vaughn. He was an even worse loner than Dorian. But there he was, patiently helping several of the three-year-olds.
“They’re happy,” a feminine voice said from beside him.
He looked down. “You did good.”
Astonishment was open on her face. “Oh.” A pause. “Thank you.”
He scowled. “What’s wrong with me complimenting you?”
“Nothing.” She shrugged, her breasts pushing out against the softness of her black cowl-neck sweater. “You just don’t do it much.”
He reached out to pinch a bit of her sweater with his fingertips. “What is this stuff?” It was so damn strokable he was having a hard time keeping himself from doing exactly that. Shaping his mate’s body with his palms seemed like the best idea he’d had all day.
“Angora blend.” She pulled away from his touch and took a step backward. “Do you want to paint an ornament? Or you can help the children.”
He didn’t like the distance she’d put between them. “What’s the matter with you?”
Something flickered in her eyes before her lashes lowered to screen her expression. “I’m living my own life. It’s what you want, right?” A small smile. “I’m finally beginning to appreciate what you’ve been trying to tell me.” With that, she went off to check up on a group of giggling teenage girls.
Nate wondered if he looked as sucker-punched as he felt. She’d pulled that stunt out of nowhere. All these months of fighting him, of demanding he accept their bond, and she was suddenly going to fall in line? Right. He’d believe that when he saw it. Tamsyn had called him every day from New York—she couldn’t shut him out if she tried.
Twelve hours of near-silence later, long after everyone else had left, he grit his teeth and handed her an ornament. “This is the last finished one.” Many had taken theirs home to complete.
“Thanks.” She hung it on her damn tree before jumping down from the branch on which she’d crouched. “I think it’ll look fabulous when it’s done, don’t you?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned to walk up the path to her door.
“Where are you going?” He barely kept the growl out of his voice.
She threw him a confused look. “It’s dark. I’m going to have a bath and dinner.”
He waited for the invitation to join her. It didn’t come. “Your parents aren’t back.”
“Oh, don’t worry.” A tight smile accompanied her words. “A few of my girlfriends are dropping by tonight.”
“Who?”
“Friends. Actually, do you mind not coming by at all?” she asked. “We can hardly talk girl-talk if we know you’re out here skulking.”
His temper wasn’t easily stoked. But it was smoking now. “Skulking?”
She gave him an airy wave. “You know what I mean. We’ll be fine. I even asked some of the other soldiers to swing past during their night watches. You should go do your own thing.” A few seconds later, her door shut behind her.
He didn’t move, rooted to the spot by pure disbelief. She’d told him to get lost. Nobody told him to get lost. Especially not his mate. He’d taken the first step up the path to her home when he felt someone walk out of the woods behind him. He turned to find Juanita. “What?” It was the leopard speaking.
“This is part of my night route.” She gave him a curious look. “What are you doing here?”
What kind of idiotic question was that? “Looking after my mate.”
Juanita scowled. “You’re on the eastern perimeter, Nate. If you wanted a change, you should’ve told Cian. We’ll have a gap there otherwise and you know we can’t afford to. Especially not with Solias King’s men sniffing around.”
He knew she was right. “Cian factors mates into the watch assignments.”
“Yeah, but you haven’t claimed Tammy. He probably thought you wanted some space from her—you’re getting more and more irritable.” Her tone was blunt. “Look, I’d take the eastern for you, but I’m pulling a double anyway and I’d prefer to stay close to home.”
There was nothing he could say to that. He was one of the most experienced soldiers in the pack, and as such, he had a job to do. “Don’t let anything happen to her.” It was half warning, half threat.
Juanita’s response was a raised eyebrow. “Tammy’s no cub. She can handle herself.”
• • •
TAMSYN put out the snacks with trembling hands. She couldn’t believe she’d “ignored” Nate all day. The act had stretched her nerves to the screaming point, the compulsion to speak to him as powerful and as intrinsic as her heartbeat. She was obsess
ing over their parting words when the soft buzz of the doorbell sliced her thoughts in half.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. “Oh, it’s you.”
Juanita grinned. “I told you it would work.”
“He’s furious.” She looked over the other woman’s shoulder, hoping to see Nate. “I thought he was going to march up here and demand I—”
“Precisely.” Juanita put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “He’s used to demanding something from you and getting it.”
“Isn’t that what mates do?”
“Sure. But he’s being an ass about it. He’s not exactly meeting your demands, is he?”
Tamsyn scowled on Nate’s behalf. “You don’t—”
“Don’t you dare defend him,” Juanita ordered. “And don’t you back down, either. You’re just giving him a taste of his own medicine. This is what he’s been doing to you for over a year. Let him see how he likes it.”
It made sense, but Tamsyn wasn’t a soldier, to think of love like strategy. Her heart was that of a healer—gentle and easy to forgive. “He hates it.”
“Good.” The other woman grinned. “If you don’t allow him access to you anytime he wants to feed the animal’s need to be close to you, he’s going to get desperate sooner rather than later. Then he’ll jump you and, bang, we’ll all live happily ever after.”
Tamsyn nodded. She liked the idea of being jumped by a sexually hungry Nate. “If he doesn’t do it soon, I might attack him myself.” Her sensitivity to his proximity was getting worse, the mere sound of his voice enough to melt her to damp readiness.
Juanita grinned. “I give him a week.”
• • •
TWO nights later, Tamsyn decided Juanita was a genius. Nate was scowling at her from across the Pack Circle, such violent need in those midnight blue eyes that she could feel her stomach twist itself into a thousand knots.
“Stop staring at him,” she muttered noiselessly to herself. She hadn’t said much more than hello to him for the past forty-eight hours, but if she didn’t keep her eyes to herself, he’d figure out just how hard it was for her to maintain her distant air. She ached for him and the ache was a pulsing beat in every inch of her skin…and worse in lower, hotter places.
Breaking the connection through sheer effort of will, she focused on the dancers in the middle of the Circle. They were part of an impromptu gathering sparked by the full yellow moon, a happy diversion from the general air of wary alertness that had gripped DarkRiver since the attack by the ShadowWalkers. That wasn’t to say that their defenses were compromised. Those on watch were being spelled by off-duty packmates so everyone could join in the fun.
And it was fun—warm, friendly, brilliantly alive. Several people had pulled out instruments and the music was energetic and strong. She clapped along with the players, and when Lucas came to offer her his hand, she took it with a smile. “Watch out, I’ve got two left feet.”
He grinned, the savage markings on one side of his face—markings he’d been born with—making him look more panther than boy. “Good thing I don’t scare easy.”
Laughing, she let him swirl her around in an energetic dance that required enough of her concentration that she almost stopped thinking about Nate. When the tall juvenile snapped her back into his arms, she was breathless. “You’re in a good mood,” she said, glad to see him happy for once.
There was darkness in Lucas, such darkness. She knew it would be there until the day he took vengeance on those who had stolen his family from him. He was four years younger than her, but looking into those eyes, she saw not a child but a man. Lucas would one day be an alpha of incredible strength, of that she had no doubt.
He held her closer, touching her with the easy friendliness of Pack. She rested her cheek against his shoulder and swayed to the gentler beat that had replaced the pounding dance music. “So?”
“So I thought you needed to be held.” The words were blunt, the tone affectionate.
“Thank you. I did.” There was no need to lie. Not with Pack.
“Dorian said you don’t want us to beat some sense into Nate.” He sighed as if in disappointment. “Are you sure?”
She laughed at his teasing. “I like him in one piece, but thanks for the offer.”
“Do you want to dance with him? ’Cause he’s heading this way.”
Chapter 7
SHE SMELLED THE rich earthiness of Nathan’s distinctive scent before she could answer. It hit her system like a drug. An instant later, the heavy weight of his hand dropped on to her hip. “Luc. Go find a girl your own age.”
Lucas released her. “I think I like sexy older women—why don’t I keep Tammy and you find someone else?”
Nate’s growl was met with unrepentant laughter as Lucas threw Tammy a wink and walked away. She paid little attention to the exchange, her entire body focused on Nate as he placed both his hands low on her hips and pulled her back against his chest. “What the hell are you wearing?” He spoke against her ear, his breath hot.
It was an effort to think. “Jeans and a sweater. Is that a crime?”
“The sweater is orange and anyone can see down your cleavage.”
She forced herself to laugh. “Nate, the vee isn’t that deep and the color is soft peach, not orange.” It went beautifully with her hair and eyes, throwing up golden highlights she’d never have believed possible.
“It’s fucking painted on your body, just like your jeans.”
“Watch your mouth, Nathan Ryder.” Firming up her tone, she put her hands over his and began to sway against him. It wasn’t a calculated act—her body simply craved the contact. “I’m nineteen years old. This is what women my age wear.”
His breath seemed to catch for an instant. “You don’t.”
No, she didn’t. It had always seemed to her that she shouldn’t aggravate the situation between them by being deliberately sexual. But tonight, she’d followed Juanita’s advice again and gone wild. The jeans—bought on a whim in New York—shaped her butt, and from the good-natured whistles she’d inspired in male packmates, it wasn’t a bad butt.
As for the long-forgotten sweater, baggy when she’d been a gangly thirteen, it was made of a soft, strokable material that did feel painted on over her now-womanly figure. That was the point. It was meant to make it hotly clear to Nate that she was a sexual young female, not a nun happy to wait for him to make up his mind.
“I decided it was time to change my personal style.” She moved against him again, exquisitely aware of the unforgiving ridge of his erection. “Have some fun before we settle down, exactly like you wanted.”
“Stop that.” But he didn’t do anything to halt her subtle erotic movements. “This kind of fun isn’t good for the blood pressure of the other men.” He pulled her even closer.
“They know I’m yours,” she murmured, feeling her skin flush. “Only yours.”
“Then why are you dressed like an invitation?”
For you, you idiot, she wanted to say. “I wanted to feel sexy.” She shrugged. “I haven’t had much of a chance to explore that side of me.” That, at least, was true. Between Nate’s pigheadedness and her responsibilities, she hadn’t had much play in her life. She did so want to play with Nate—silly, intimate, affectionate games.
His hands tightened. “And what are you going to do after getting yourself all heated up like this?” It was a half-growled question, but she knew him well enough to know that that roughness was an indication of need, not anger.
She tilted her head, looking up at him as he looked down. “I bought a friend.”
He seemed to choke for a second. “A friend?”
“Uh-huh. He vibrates.” It was a whisper meant to carry to his ears alone. “I think I’ll try him out tonight.”
His fingers were pressing down so hard, he was probably going to leave bruises. She didn’t care. Not when he was burning her up with the heat in his eyes. “Don’t.”
Raising her arms, she li
nked them behind his neck. “Why not?”
“Your first time shouldn’t be with that.”
She shrugged. “I’m getting older, Nathan. I have needs.” Dark, clawing needs. Needs only he could fulfill.
“Promise me you won’t use that stupid toy.”
“It’s not stupid.” She rubbed against the hardness of him and heard him suck in a breath. “It’s smaller than you, though.”
“Christ.” Pulling her arms off his neck, he spun her around so she faced him. “Don’t. Use. That. Thing.” It was an order.
“Why not?” She pressed into him, the leopard in her inciting a desire to taunt, to torment. “Lots of women do it.”
Eyes going cat, he leaned down to speak against her ear, his lips teasing a suddenly sensitive portion of her anatomy. “If you promise not to use it on yourself tonight,” he whispered, “I’ll use it on you.”
Her legs threatened to collapse. “When?”
“Promise first.”
She was weak, so weak where he was concerned. “I promise I won’t use it tonight.”
He nipped at the shell of her ear and it was then she realized he’d danced them to the farthest edge of the Pack Circle, well away from the reach of the temporary lights. She whimpered and held on. “Nate.”
“Shh. It won’t be that long, baby.” His hand stroked over her back, a rigid inflexibility to his body that hadn’t been there before. “You need a little more time.”
A nauseous feeling twisted through her. “Nate, you said you’d—”
“When the time is right.” There it was again, that tense restraint…as if with her surrender, he had found control.
Anger and pain mixed a caustic brew inside her. “Well,” she said, wrenching away from him, “I only promised not to use it tonight.”
“Tamsyn.”
“And,” she continued, “I’m not going to fall for that dirty trick again.” She began backing into the Circle. “I’m sick of being teased and left wanting. Tomorrow night, I’m taking care of business.”