Tick-Tick cried.
A voice on the ship’s intercom interrupted Tick-Tick’s cries. “Incoming Infinity Transport Ship, identify yourself and state your business here.”
Agent 27142 glanced over at God-Art. “What do we say?” he asked.
The god smirked. “You are in luck,” he replied. “You are in the presence of the best mischief god in the history of the Multiverse. Let me handle this.”
The god leaned down, pressed the intercom button, and said, “This is Infinity Transport Ship call sign 888888888888888888888888, and we are here to inspect factory number sixteen for possible chronal incursions from a space-time-rat infestation.”
The god released the button. The voice over the intercom immediately replied, “That was complete gibberish. HQ sent word of a stolen Infinity Transport Ship with your exact energy signature. Prepare to be boarded.”
Agent 27142 looked over to God-Art and muttered, “Wow. I am very impressed with your mischief. Far and away the best in the whole Multiverse. Now what do we do?”
The tops of two nearby factory buildings retracted. Dozens of ships shaped like the numeral four launched into the sky. They began to open fire with bolts of purple energy. Agent 27142 jerked the stick and jammed the throttle, initiating evasive action. Tick-Tick said something, but Agent 27142 ignored the creature and concentrated on dodging the incoming barrage from the hostile ships.
The ship shook as a purple laser bolt crashed against its side, a direct hit from one of the incoming hostile ships. Purple crackling tendrils swept across the view screen. “OK, I was being sarcastic before, but now I could seriously use your help here. What do we do?” demanded Agent 27142.
God-Art shrugged. “I suggest we listen to our new friend,” he said, pointing at the BeavBok.
Tick-Tick screamed, “Forget resurrecting my people! Use this ship to go back in time! Let’s gather them before they’re genocided!”
Agent 27142 called over his shoulder. “Fine! When were you taken from this planet?”
Tick-Tick screamed the answer. Agent 27142’s fingers danced across the console, typing in the chronal destination. Then he engaged the time jump. The ship vibrated and jerked. Cosmic spots popped up in the view screen. A green arc of light burst from the nose of the ship and sliced a hole in the sky. The hole immediately began shrinking, and the ship surged through this hole before it closed.
Tick-Tick apparently had not learned his lesson from the last jump. He had neither taken a seat nor buckled himself in, so he tumbled backward and fell down the ladder to the area below decks where the resurrected soldiers were seated.
Agent 27142 heard Henry’s laughter emanating from the seat behind God-Art, where the gourd and Beverly were harnessed safely. “Did the creature fall again?” asked Henry. “Oh, I do love slapstick comedy!”
God-Art smirked. “But why?” he asked. “You don’t have eyes to see it.”
Henry’s laugh merely grew louder. Agent 27142 and God-Art joined in. Then Agent 27142 realized how cartoonish and ridiculous they all must have seemed with their choral laughing, so he stopped. The others realized it, too, and awkward silence soon filled the bridge.
Then the ship arrived at the intended date in the past and reappeared on Earth 798,098.
*
Agent 27142 steered the ship toward the surface of Earth 798,098. Lively forests of pines and elms and sequoias with gigantic branches seemed to cover every square inch of the ground, stretching into the distance and past the horizon. “Horizon” was a generous term, since thick flocks of black birds billowed from the tree branches with such ferocity that visibility was difficult more than a few hundred feet ahead.
Tick-Tick leaned over Agent 27142’s shoulder and pointed toward a sunny spot in a clearing near the confluence of two streams. “Put ‘er down over there,” said the BeavBok.
Agent 27142 nodded and landed the ship in the soft, dark mud. As soon as he finished powering down the ship, Agent 27142 unstrapped himself and Henry, placed the gourd in the empty gun holster on his belt, descended the ladder into the ship proper, and followed a hallway to the aft of the ship. He pressed a button on the back wall, and it fell backward, tumbling to the ground to form a ramp. Agent 27142 descended to the bottom of the ramp.
Hot air and humidity crashed across his face. Sweat formed on his brow. The darkness and shadows of the forest seemed to loom over him on all sides like a pack of predators. He smiled. Showing a predator any sort of trepidation was an easy invitation for attack.
Lying scattered amongst the underbrush and between living trees were dozens and dozens of felled sequoia trunks with radii easily thrice the length of the ship that Agent 27142 had just exited. Their ends were conical and showed signs of tooth marks.
Hundreds of pairs of golden eyes appeared amongst the darkness of the forest. As the owners of these eyes stepped forward into the meager light of the clearing, Agent 27142 noticed they were all attached to BeavBoks. Many wore brown and green hooded cloaks while many more wore holsters made of woven fur in which metal objects with ominous red buttons gleamed. Each carried a spear or a bow and arrow. All weapons were trained on Agent 27142.
God-Art and Tick-Tick descended the ramp and caught up to Agent 27142.
“Brothers! Sisters! Elders! Younglings!” screamed Tick-Tick. “After all these years, I am returned. How I have missed you!”
Agent 27142 did not understand how to read BeavBok facial expressions, but he was rather certain that the looks the creatures were sending Tick-Tick’s way were quizzical at best, utterly confused at worst.
After a long moment of silence, one of the BeavBoks stepped forward. This one had black fur streaked with gray and a wooden stump in place of its right leg. It wore a golden shawl wrapped around the top of its head, and stitched into the front of the shawl was a bright crimson letter C.
“Captain Hump-Hump!” cried Tick-Tick. “How I have missed your sage advice.”
Hump-Hump frowned. “Cousin Tick-Tick, you left with the B.T.T. agents but a few seconds ago. Why are you back?” Hump-Hump gestured toward Agent 27142, God-Art, and the B.I.T. soldiers who had now descended the ramp. “And who are these strangers?”
Tick-Tick slapped his own forehead, realizing his conundrum. Tick-Tick said, “Don’t worry about them. I need to see President Clearland at once. I am here to prevent the most terrible catastrophe you could possibly imagine.”
Hump-Hump hobbled toward Tick-Tick and raised his bow and arrow so that they were aimed squarely at Tick-Tick’s forehead. “The creatures wearing the purple shirts warned the president not to allow that to happen. They said we must detain anyone who arrives to warn us of impending doom.”
“But they are the ones who are going to cause the catastrophe! Of course, that’s what they’d say!” screamed Tick-Tick.
Hump-Hump furrowed his brow. The point of his arrow drooped ever so slightly toward the ground. “Explain yourself,” he commanded.
“I’ve come from the future! Our people get genocided because of the B.T.T.!” screamed Tick-Tick. He gestured toward Agent 27142 and God-Art. “These two were also harmed by the B.T.T., and they are here to help us. Please take me to President Clearland and let me explain. Our people’s existence is at stake!”
Hump-Hump’s frown deepened. “I wish I could,” he replied. “But I have orders.”
Hump-Hump turned to his soldiers and said, “Do not kill my cousin. He is to be detained. Eliminate the rest.”
Before a single arrow could be launched from a single bow, Tick-Tick screamed, “Wait! I declare a Stump-Stump!”
Hump-Hump scowled and motioned for the surrounding soldiers to lower their weapons. He said, “Your declaration is acknowledged. It shall be your funeral.”
*
The BeavBoks led Tick-Tick, Agent 27142, God-Art, and the dozens of B.I.T. soldiers down a well-trodden path in the dark forest. Eventually they arrived at a palace made from stacked elm logs. It was surrounded by a wooden palisade and a
moat filled with murky, brown water. A drawbridge spanned the moat, but it raised as the group approached.
A blue circle of paint lay on the ground outside the moat. Its diameter was about ten-feet wide. Rotting BeavBok corpses lay piled within it. Two thin stumps stretched up from the midst of the corpses. The group stopped outside of the ring. Hump-Hump’s soldiers fanned out to surround it. Hump-Hump turned to face Tick-Tick and said, “Pick your sapling.”
Tick-Tick nodded. God-Art and Agent 27142 approached Tick-Tick. Agent 27142 asked, “What’s happening?”
Tick-Tick replied in his squeaky voice, “I was forced to challenge my old captain to a duel in order to save your lives and get our message delivered to my people’s leader. I have thirty minutes to find a sapling, cut it down with my teeth, and fashion it into a weapon. Me and my old captain will then duel to the death from atop the stumps that are standing inside that ring. The loser’s servants must grant whatever request the winner makes.”
“Well, that’s awfully convenient,” muttered God-Art.
And with that, Tick-Tick sprinted away into the forest. Agent 27142 stared at God-Art. The god stared back. When neither of them would break the awkward silence, Henry chimed in, “So you’re both just going to let this kindly creature die?”
God-Art shrugged and said, “He was probably going to die on our mission, anyway.”
Henry made a dissatisfied hiss. “You are terrible,” he replied.
Agent 27142 shrugged. He said, “We didn’t come here for friends. We came here for disposable lackies.”
“Well, you had better hope he wins, because you’re dead if he doesn’t,” said Henry.
Agent 27142 sighed. “You think after all I’ve faced in my service to the B.I.T., these savages concern me? You’re more foolish than you look.”
Henry sighed back. “I refuse to accept that insult. I’ve been told by many fellow jump totems that I am quite a handsome gourd and that I do not look foolish at all.”
Agent 27142 frowned. He thumped Henry with his palm. Henry squealed and stopped talking.
Tick-Tick soon returned, dragging a young tree behind him that had teeth marks scratched into its base, indicating the spot where Tick-Tick had chewed on it to cut it down. He dropped it near Agent 27142’s feet. Tick-Tick began biting into the sides of it and rolling it across his teeth like it was a giant serving of corn on the cob. After a few minutes, he had whittled the tree down to a thin spear about three feet long.
“I am ready,” Tick-Tick muttered. Then he leapt from his vantage outside the blue circle. He soared over the BeavBok corpses that were piled upon the ground inside the circle, grabbed one of the stumps sticking up from the ground, and scrambled to its top. It was barely wide enough for him to balance on one foot.
About five minutes later, Hump-Hump appeared from the forest, brandishing a spear twice the length of Tick-Tick’s. He mirrored Tick-Tick’s entrance, leaping over the corpses and scrambling to the top of the second post. He stood upon his good leg and bowed to Tick-Tick. He pointed to Tick-Tick’s weapon and said, “That tiny spear is a joke. We have not yet begun the ceremony. You may still back out.”
“This is too important. I cannot.”
“You understand the rules?” asked Hump-Hump.
Tick-Tick nodded. “Fight to the death. If either of us touches the pile of holy corpses, he loses at once and will be executed.”
Hump-Hump nodded. “Then let us begin,” he declared.
One of Hump-Hump’s servants stepped forward and knocked a flint stone against the blue circle. After he whacked it a few times, sparks burst forth and set the blue circle aflame. Agent 27142 glanced over at God-Art. The god’s eyes were gleaming as they stared at the flames, and a look of raw mischief enveloped his face.
Hump-Hump’s spear tip darted forward, aimed at Tick-Tick’s lower abdomen. Tick-Tick leapt straight up into the air and twirled in a circle. He knocked the spear aside with his tail and landed back atop the post on his opposite foot. Hump-Hump pulled back his spear, feinted a shot toward Tick-Tick’s left shoulder, and then stabbed toward Tick-Tick’s right.
This time, Tick-Tick did not leap straight up to dodge the spear. He leapt in an arc toward Hump-Hump. The older BeavBok reacted to Tick-Tick’s maneuver too late to pull his spear back for a defensive parry.
“Clever boy,” Hump-Hump declared as Tick-Tick crashed into him. Tick-Tick stabbed his short spear into Hump-Hump’s shoulder. The old captain’s spear was too long to help him now that he and the younger BeavBok were so close.
However, Hump-Hump would not be bested so easily. He shifted his body and flung Tick-Tick off him. The younger BeavBok grabbed the stump just in time to prevent himself from landing atop the BeavBok corpses and losing the duel. Hump-Hump stared down at Tick-Tick. He tossed aside his own spear and pulled Tick-Tick’s short spear from his shoulder. He held it over his head, ready to stab it directly into the younger BeavBok’s neck.
“I am sorry, youngling. I wish it had not come to this,” said Hump-Hump.
Agent 27142 felt a vibration tickling his feet. He glanced over at God-Art. The god’s eyes were clouded blue, he was muttering something to himself, and he was wriggling his feet back and forth at supersonic speed.
A wind picked up, blowing in from behind God-Art. The wind increased in intensity until it felt as near to gale force as Agent 27142 had ever experienced. And as it blew past the spectators surrounding the circle, it fanned the flames that marked the outer ring of the dueling circle. The flames danced, twirled, and then one of them leapt into the air. It smacked into Hump-Hump’s fur before he could strike Tick-Tick. The flame spread to engulf Hump-Hump. He screamed and fell from the stump, landing atop the corpses and adding his own to their ranks.
Tick-Tick climbed back up atop the stump, breathing heavily. As quickly as the winds had risen, they died away and the flames lost their gusto. Hump-Hump’s soldiers stepped forward and threw white powder onto a spot on the blue circle. It snuffed the fire there. Tick-Tick leapt over the safe portion, crashed to the ground, and lay there.
God-Art walked over to the creature and helped Tick-Tick to his feet.
A small BeavBok with chestnut fur approached Tick-Tick. “The gods have smiled upon you this day,” he said. “Hump-Hump should have finished you rather than talking. He left himself open to chance, and the gods made him pay dearly for it. What would you have of us?”
Tick-Tick smirked. “You already know. Stop being daft and take us to President Clearland.”
*
The inside of the wooden palace was about what Agent 27142 had expected. Grand tapestries covered the walls, sawdust the floor. A great fire filled a pit in the center of the room, its smoke blackening the rafters high above. It was a mixture of extravagance and humility only seen in the housing of an individual ruling a relatively savage people, and Agent 27142 had seen thousands of such dwellings since he began his service to the B.I.T.
To Agent 27142, President Clearland looked just like all the other BeavBoks, except he wore a bowler’s hat on his head and a three-piece suit on his body and a monocle on the end of his beak. He stared at Agent 27142 and his companions with marked distrust.
“Tick-Tick,” muttered President Clearland as one of the two young purple-shirted B.T.T. agents standing behind him leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I can’t say that I am happy to see you. These B.T.T. representatives tell me that your appearance signals genocide for our people. They tell me that if I rid myself of you and your companions, I can save our people from that horrible fate, and that I can also make us more prosperous than I could possibly imagine.”
Tick-Tick frowned. He replied, “Sir, none of what they’re telling you is true. I come with companions who helped me escape the B.T.T. home reality aboard one of the B.T.T.’s time-traveling ships. We have seen what happens to this planet. It is stripped of its natural resources and turned into an atrocious factory. I come to you from this future as the last survivor of our people. W
e must alter this terrible destiny.”
The female B.T.T. agent whispered into President Clearland’s ear. President Clearland then said, “She tells me that if we render you aid, we will simply be assuring the fate of which you speak.” The president’s accent made it so that Agent 27142 had to strain to understand him. It almost sounded like he was saying “Bok, bok, bok,” over and over.
God-Art stepped forward and pointed toward the fire pit in the center of the room. He bellowed, “I will show you what happens to your planet if you do nothing. Gaze into the flames.”
“Who are y-” the president began to ask, but then his eyes locked onto the fire.
Agent 27142 looked over at the fire, too. The flames danced and grew and formed into a shape similar to a view screen. The image of this planet’s future that Agent 27142 had seen from the view screen of the Infinity Ship appeared in the fire. Then the image shifted. It zoomed across the surface of the planet, and nowhere it passed was there a sign of a single BeavBok.
The image died away, and everyone in the room understood. Tick-Tick spoke the truth. There would be no BeavBoks here in the future. The president screamed in rage. God-Art said, “The B.T.T. is playing you for a fool. What you saw shall be your fate if you do not join our cause.”
The surrounding BeavBoks screamed their assent. The president turned to face the purple-shirted B.T.T. agents. They held up their hands in deference and fright. They both screamed together, “Wait! You don’t understand! That is what happens if you do join the-”
But it was too late for them. The surrounding soldiers pounced, rending the B.T.T. agents limb from limb. The president turned to a nearby soldier and ordered, “Send heralds into the Great Forest. Gather all our peoples. Every adult, every cub, every half-hatched egg shall join the fight to save us from genocide.”
*
Over the next few days, the BeavBoks readied themselves to fight. To Agent 27142’s surprise, the felled sequoias that he had seen lying scattered about the forest floor were actually the BeavBok’s means of space travel: these logs were hollowed out in the middle and the interior was carved so that there was a bridge, a massive cargo hold, troop transport, personal cabins, and a wooden engine system. BeavBok shamans were stationed at the engines that lay in the backs of the tree trunks to imbue the logs that were used as fuel with the magic that allowed them to properly power the ships. All of it somehow worked together in a way that allowed the trees to fly and remain safe in the harsh environment of space. The excited Tick-Tick informed Agent 27142 in passing conversation that a mere six generations ago, BeavBoks had reached their moon and planted their nation’s flag upon it. Now they could roam anywhere in their galaxy.
And Now, Time Travel Page 21