Heart of Light

by Hawke Oakley

  “Alright, everyone,” I called. “The club opens in thirty minutes. Let’s work hard and have fun tonight!”

  The club was packed. Perhaps packed was an understatement. There was barely enough space to move. There were easily twice as many bodies as there were on a regular night. On one hand, it was great for fundraising – we would have a huge sum to donate to the charities. On the other hand, I – despite the irony – admittedly wasn’t much of a party person.

  I spent most of my time behind the bar with Matty, both to use the bar counter as a buffer between me and the wall of customers, and also to have some company. I sipped my drink as he worked his usual magic, putting on an extra flashy display for the customers tonight. Glasses spun midair and his hands moved like quicksilver.

  “You’ve never once broken a glass since you’ve worked here, have you?” I asked as he handed off the finished drinks to the customers.

  “Just once,” Matty said. “And only because I was trying to save it from Ryan. He wanted to learn how to do it, too. Needless to say, he never came back to the bar after I made him clean up that mess.”

  I chuckled. “He’s kind of all over the place, but he’s a good guy.”

  Matty nodded. “I love that brat to death. Don’t tell him I said that though.”

  I wondered for a moment if he meant platonically or not. Either way I shook my head.

  “Never,” I promised.

  “So, you and Seth, huh?” Matty said as he absentmindedly spun a glass.

  “Don’t change the subject,” I said with a smirk.

  “I’m changing it,” he said. “You like him a lot.”

  “Apparently it’s been obvious to everyone since the start,” I mumbled. “I didn’t know I was so bad at hiding it.”

  “You were,” he said. “It was pretty funny, actually.”

  I sighed. “I just had so many reservations about it since, well, I’m his boss and he’s my employee. But now that we’re actually together, I feel foolish ever being worried about it.”

  Matty nodded. “Sometimes things just sound bad on paper. But you’re a good guy, too, Isaac. We all know you’d never do anything to hurt anyone, especially a guy you like so much.” He refilled my drink, which was dangerously close to being empty.

  “Thanks,” I said, and took another sip. I wasn’t a lightweight but my mind was starting to grow fuzzy with the numbness of alcohol. This must have been my second or third already. I must have been safe if Matty was still counting. In any case, it was nice to have the edge taken off. The dance floor was bustling, rowdy and very crowded; the bodies turned into one big writhing mass as they danced along to Ryan’s upbeat music. My gaze fixated on Seth, who was doing a killer job with the lights. It matches Ryan’s rhythm perfectly.

  I couldn’t get over how amazing he looked up on stage. He was a natural, a people-pleaser. The crowd loved him. Ryan loved working with him. Everyone else at the club liked him too. A rush of pride surged through me as I watched him. That was my boyfriend up there.

  A sudden chill seemed to grip the air. I turned back from watching the stage only to have the hairs on the back of my neck go up. Lurking behind the bar counter was Chad. My eyes narrowed instantly into slits and I barely resisted the urge to go over and snap at him. But he didn't seem to notice me yet. He was ordering a drink from Matty. I leaned against the sink and crossed my arms. When Matty had finished his order – which he filled with less fancy moves than usual, I noticed – I sauntered up next to him. For some reason Chad looked surprised to see me there.

  “Oh,” he said. “Hi.”

  “Hello,” I said.

  The altercation Seth and I had with Chad the other day was still fresh in my mind. I was tense and edgy. I had no qualms ordering him to get off my property if he put so much as a single toe out of line.

  But, partially to my dismay, he ignored me and was simply sitting on the stool and chatting with the people around him. Slowly my guard fell, as did the pricked hairs on the back of my neck.

  I continued watching Matty work his bartending magic until Chad’s chatting buddies took off to the dance floor, leaving him alone at the counter. It was now that his focus shifted to me. We locked eyes as he took a sip of his drink. He put the glass on the counter.

  “So,” he said. “I heard its official now.”

  “What is?”

  “You and Seth.” He took another swig. “News travels fast in this club.”

  “Apparently,” I muttered. I glanced at Matty from the corner of my eye for support but he merely shrugged at me. “Who told you?”

  “Kid with the headphones,” Chad said.

  Matty and I exchanged glances. Ryan. Knowing him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he somehow announced it halfway through a mix of songs.

  “So, did you just come tonight to hassle me again or are you actually here to support the charity?” I asked icily.

  “Hey, I’m only here ‘cause its for a good cause,” he muttered into the rim of his glass. “There are other gay bars out of town, you know.”

  “I’m aware,” I said. “You’re free to leave at any time if you don’t find this one quite to your liking.”

  Chad shrugged. “I’m just checking up on Seth.”

  My muscles tensed. Hadn’t he done that enough?

  “But don’t worry,” he said quickly. “Before you start yelling at me, I don’t intend to cause any trouble. I’m just here for a drink.”

  I said nothing and went back to bitterly nursing my own drink. I was irritated beyond measure that I couldn't have Chad thrown out of the club right now – he hadn’t done anything wrong besides pissing me off with his mere presence. But the second he slipped up, he’d be gone. Seth and I were happy now, and I had no tolerance for anyone trying to destroy that happiness.

  I kept a watchful eye on Chad, who had turned and was now looking towards the stage. I followed his gaze, making sure he didn’t stare unnervingly at my boyfriend, when I noticed something seemed a little off.

  The stage was empty. The music was still playing, but the lights had gone flat. Neither Ryan or Seth was there.

  My heart skipped a beat.

  Suddenly, out of the crowd of bodies, Ryan leapt over to the bar counter. A wild panic blazed in his eyes, one like I’d never seen before. He was breathing fast, in short gasps.

  “What’s wrong? Where’s Seth?” I asked loudly.

  Ryan looked like he was about to cry. “Seth’s gone!”

  A cold dread crawled up my spine. “What?”

  “He – he said he was gonna take a water break, and I watched him leave the stage, and he was supposed to be back five minutes ago but he never came back!” Ryan cried.

  Another body burst through the crowd. Phoenix stood, hunched over and sweating. His brow was furrowed and he looked incredibly upset. A dark bruise was starting to form on his cheek, and a trickle of blood was smeared below his nose.

  “Isaac,” Phoenix began, his face taut. “I’m so sorry.”

  “What happened?” I snapped. Panic and fear gripped me.

  “Adrian – he forced his way past me and headed for the stage,” Phoenix said, shaking his head and refusing to meet my eye. “I couldn’t get past the crowd, there’s too many people.”

  “What happened?” I spat. The anxiety had turned all my organs cold, and my stomach churned like I was going to be sick.

  Phoenix glanced up at me, his eyes burning with anger and shame at himself. “Adrian took Seth.”

  My blood turned to ice.

  “Isaac,” Matty said quietly behind me.

  I turned in his direction, where he was motioning to the empty bar stool.

  Chad was gone, too.

  Chapter Eleven

  Seth

  If I wasn’t in such a massive state of shock, I would have cried. Instead, I trembled violently and zoned out, my emotions going completely blank, and allowing my body to be dragged around like a rag doll.

  The scene replayed in my mind
. One minute I was safe – stepping down from the stage to get a drink of water before Ryan and I’s next round. Then I heard Phoenix’s roar of anger and pain. I turned just in time to see the final second of Adrian’s fist colliding with Phoenix’s face. The hit didn’t even knock the larger man to the floor, but gave Adrian enough time to worm his way into the crowd.

  That's when our eyes met. I froze. I might as well have been struck by lightning. I stood there uselessly, watching Adrian crash through the mob of people with Phoenix trailing far behind him. It was like Adrian was a hunting wolf that had broken off from the rest of the pack and had its eyes set on me – his prey.

  My gaze momentarily flitted to Phoenix. The horror in his eyes told me everything I needed to know to confirm what was about to happen. The horror that Adrian was about to grab me, and horror at himself, for not being able to stop it.

  How could this have happened? I wondered that as Adrian yanked me none-too-gently up the street. His rough hand felt strangely familiar on my skin, in the most uncomfortable way possible. Part of me hoped this was just a vivid nightmare and that soon I’d wake up in the warm safety of Isaac’s arms.

  But judging by the cold whipping wind across my face and the flinchingly hard grip Adrian had on my forearm, I didn’t think that was going to happen anytime soon.

  “What were you thinking?” Adrian muttered. He had been muttering the whole time he dragged me out of the club, but I was too dazed to figure out if he was actually talking to me or not. When he stopped mid-stride and glared at me, I realized that this time he finally wanted an answer.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly.

  He spat and dug his heel into the concrete, yanking me along with him again. I didn’t bother asking where he was taking me. There was only one place we could go.

  By the time Adrian had dragged me all the way back in front of his apartment, the weight of what had happened sunk in. My skin prickled at the familiar sighs and scents of the old apartment; the run-down first floor windows, the old dumpster, and the prickling gaze of neighbours watching us from above. My stomach was heavy with dread. I never thought I’d be back here. I never wanted to be back here.

  I hated how my legs went through the motions, resuming the old familiar path to the front steps. It was like I had never left.

  By the time we made it to the top of the steps, Adrian’s self control broke. He whirled on me, his face twisted in anger. His expression was ugly – nothing like Isaac’s calm, gentle face.

  My heart raced as I thought of Isaac. Would he know I was gone? Would he care?

  Staring into Adrian’s cruel gaze, I thought of Isaac’s clear green eyes, and suddenly I knew all the answers.

  Isaac did care. Isaac would never treat me the way Adrian did – and at this realization, a fire erupted inside me. I wrenched my hand out of Adrian’s grip.

  “Let go of me!” I snapped.

  Shock passed over Adrian’s face before his expression turned even uglier. “Let go of you? I’m taking you back home, you ungrateful brat.”

  His words stung, but not as much as the knowledge that I had been putting up with this kind of behaviour from him for years. Enough was enough.

  “Don’t call me a brat,” I spat as I took a step back from him. The mix of confusion and rage on his face would have been funny if it weren’t for the circumstances. “I don’t live here anymore. We’re not together. You don’t control me, Adrian.”

  “What’s gotten into you?” Adrian growled.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Nothing. This is who I am now. I’ve changed.”

  Adrian watched me for a moment before sighing and lowering his voice. “You’re just confused, baby. Come on home. We can work things out.” He smiled. “Right?”

  I felt sick to my stomach. I was so angry I could have lunged at him, but I controlled myself. My fists shook at my sides. “No,” I said firmly.

  “Seth,” Adrian said warningly as he took a step closer. “This isn’t funny or cute. Come on, angel.”

  “No, Adrian!” I snapped. “I’m not listening to you anymore! I’m not your property!”

  That made Adrian lose it. He roared and slammed his fist into the metal handrail and didn’t even flinch. I jumped at the sudden violent movement. I had never seen him so angry in public before. He must have really snapped now.

  “That guy fucked with your head,” Adrian snarled. “I don’t know what he did to you, but it’s wrong, you hear me? Did he give you drugs? Alcohol?” He spat on the concrete. “Money?”

  “What? No!”

  “What is it then?” Adrian said, advancing closer. “Did he fuck you better than I did?”

  “What?” I couldn’t control the shaking in my voice. I backed up, but my foot slipped on the edge of the step. I tried to right myself but before I could grab the opposite handrail, Adrian lunged out and grabbed me by the arms. My heart rate skyrocketed. He had me in his grip now. He was bigger and stronger than me. There was no way I could fight him off. I started to panic. “Let go of me!”

  “We're going home,” he muttered slowly in my ear. “Let’s go.”

  A sudden loud, screeching sound tore up the street. I whipped towards the noise. A sleek black car exploded towards us, its engine revving. In my panic, I didn’t recognize it until it slammed to a sharp halt on the sidewalk and two figures burst out.

  In the blink of an eye, Isaac lurched across the space with his fist out and clocked Adrian in the side of the mouth. Adrian grunted, letting go of me as he staggered backwards with the force of Isaac’s punch.

  Without Adrian’s grip holding me, I fell backwards. I thought I would hit the concrete, but instead I landed against a soft firm – and familiar – body. His comforting scent flooded my nose.

  “Isaac!” I gasped.

  “I’ve got you,” he grunted. “Don’t worry.”

  Adrian was pissed. His eyes burned with fury and he came closer, raising his fist to retaliate before another voice rang out behind us.

  “You might want to re-think that.” Phoenix’s voice was deep and angry but cool. He cracked his knuckles as he stepped up in front of Isaac and I, providing a barrier. “I let you slip away once, but trust me, it won’t happen again.”

  “You’ve got some nerve,” Adrian growled. He turned his glare on me. “Fine. Have him. Cheating, worthless rat is what he is, anyway.”

  Anger erupted inside me. “I didn’t ch – ”

  But before the words could even come out of my mouth, Isaac had shot forward like a bullet and uppercut Adrian’s jaw. He moved so quickly I barely had time to process it before he was back by my side, pressing me against him.

  “The first hit was for illegally trespassing on my property,” Isaac ground out coldly. “That one was for Seth.”

  Adrian’s eyes bulged as he struggled to his feet. He was beyond angry now. A line of blood trickled from his nose and he wiped it off on the back of his sleeve.

  “I could have you arrested for assault,” Adrian growled.

  Isaac smiled – a cold, thin smile. “Go ahead. I’m sure the judge would like to hear about your past of domestic abuse, trespassing, and – if I ever see you again – violating a restraining order.” Isaac paused. “Oh, and by the way, I’m sure I can afford much better lawyers than you can.”

  Adrian was dumbstruck. He was beat. I had to stifle a laugh. Phoenix didn’t bother.

  “Get the hell out of here, you snivelling shithead,” Phoenix said.

  Adrian’s eyes flickered from Phoenix, to Isaac, to me. He shot me one last pleading glance.

  “Stay away from me,” I said firmly. “Or my boyfriend will beat the shit out of you.”

  Adrian got to his feet, shook his head and took off into the building. He was gone.

  Phoenix and Isaac escorted me back to the car. Phoenix drove while Isaac sat with me in the back seat. As Phoenix backed up off the sidewalk and we headed back home in silence, I started to laugh – a free, joyful laugh. Then Isaac started to
laugh too, and Phoenix joined in.

  “Did you see the look on his face?” Phoenix asked. “What an ass.”

  “I’m surprised you didn't get a few more hits in,” Isaac said to him with a smirk.

  “Me? You should have seen yourself!” Phoenix chuckled. “I’ve never seen you go off like that. I thought the guy was gonna end up in the hospital.”

  “Lucky he didn’t,” Isaac said.

  “Was it true what you said? About the restraining order?” I asked.

  “Oh, absolutely.” He pulled me closer. I leaned my head on his shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about him ever again, my love. You’re free.”

  I was free.

  I was finally free.

  I was lying naked in bed by the time Isaac made it to the bedroom. I posed, but tried to make it look like a cas. I was aiming for a cool sexy look, but I had a suspicion I’d landed somewhere around ‘ridiculous’ instead.

  Then Isaac came in. He stopped and stared - long enough that I definitely started to get self conscious.

  “It’s the candles, isn’t it?” I asked, turning red like the tiny fires softly flickering on the nightstand. “I knew they were too much.”

  Isaac just shook his head, still soundless. I watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. “No. It’s perfect.” His voice was slow and hoarse. “You’re perfect.”

  A warm tingle started at my toes and built in a wave that washed over my whole body. Isaac slowly stripped and advanced towards me while his hands fumbled with his belt. His sharp green eyes were blazing - they never stopped drinking in the sight of me.

  My cock stirred to full hardness without even a single touch. It waited for him, firmly erect and flush against my stomach while pearly precum beaded at the tip of it.

  I bit my lip in anticipation. Isaac was naked now. He lowered himself onto the bed on all fours and crawled towards me. He stopped between my legs.

  Isaac lifted a hand and traced a finger gently down my shaft, from crown to base. It was only a light touch but I threw my head back, bit my lip and squirmed against the pillows. It was electrifying.