by Shad N Freud
“I apologize for interrupting,” Jin said as he rolled his eyes, “but I don’t want to keep you here any longer than necessary.”
Ghallorican harrumphed, then gestured for Jin to continue. “Fine, fine. Whatcha want? Hurry up, I’ve got a schedule to keep,” Ghallorican said with a straight face, then snickered. “I can literally jump my way through time, and I’m essentially immortal. I’ve got all the time in the world. That said, I get creative when I get bored. So, let’s see just what you want, and I’ll try to make it happen.”
Jin held up a list of varied and sundry electronic and mechanical components. “How about this stuff?”
“Let’s see…miniaturized room temperature super conductors, multi-phasic plasma containment conduits…” He looked up at Jin as he read an item near the middle. “You know that one’s not real, right? What are you trying to build, a flying DeLorean?”
Jin rubbed the bridge of his nose. “We did that joke already. I wrote Flex Capacitor. Sorry, I know my handwriting is a bit hard to read.”
“Penmanship skills aside, I can certainly make this happen. But…it’ll take two wishes.” Ghallorican looked over at the rest of the maze runners. “So, who’s going to give up their no-strings-attached wish?”
Jin wrote “first half of the list” on the slip and Ghallorican snapped his fingers, the slip disappearing in a puff of smoke, a stack of boxes stamped ShawCorp appearing on the table.
Zeke watched as Cenere looked at his slip, then sighed as he reached into his pocket for a pencil. “Hold on a moment. What would you wish for? I ask because I can’t figure out what to do with mine. I mean, I’ve got more money than I’ll ever spend, I’m better armed than a main battle tank, and I can tap into the Aetherweb and the internet with my brain! So, as you can no doubt tell, I’m having trouble figuring out what to wish for.”
Cenere paused, looked the lizard in the eye, and sighed before smiling sadly. “I…I want to be a father someday.” He looked over at Camilla, who was rummaging through her nexus bag for her wish slip and a pencil. “I want to have my own kids. But…well, we need the parts. So, I guess adoption won’t be so bad.” Cenere’s head snapped around as he stared at the cloud of smoke rising from Zeke’s hands. “Zeke…what did you-”
A hand clapped down on Cenere’s shoulder and he looked up to see Ghallorican’s smiling face. “One time. As a matter of fact, the next time you go to pound town? 100% chance of impregnation. The best condom in the world won’t stop those egg seeking missiles. Hell, won’t even need to be a ‘real’ woman. I mean…those marble golems? They’ll grow a womb if you sling any of that tiefling d-”
“ANYWAYS,” Cenere said as Camilla blushed slightly. “I’ll go ahead and use my-” He heard another poof and saw Sachi brush the dust off her hands, a Cheshire cat smile stretched across her face. The other half of the parts appeared on the table. “-wish when I need to, apparently. Why, Sachi?”
“I know for a fact that this bitch,” Sachi said, jerking her thumb at Camilla, who squawked indignantly, “wants a big family. So, use those wishes when you’re ready…to…sling some…of that tiefling di-”
“Gotcha.” Cenere said, cutting Sachi off before she could embarrass him any further, but not before she laughed her ass off. Ghallorican chuckled as he winked at Sachi.
“Well, unless anyone else wants to either wish for something else or try and talk about Cenere’s…” Ghallorican looked around as the room fought the urge to laugh, the notable exception being Cenere of course, then sighed, nodded, and opened a portal. He stepped most of the way into the portal, then poked his head back out. “…ability to sling that DICK!” he called rapidly, then ducked his head back into the portal just before a half-dozen throwing knives passed through where his head had been.
Cenere looked over at Camilla, who was rolling on the floor, laughing. “Don’t you start too, now.”
Camilla smiled as she shook her head, then got off the floor, holding Cenere’s face in both hands. “Nope. Because you won’t be slinging any of it at me for a while. I’m not going to let you put a baby in me until it’s safe to. And, with a mission of vital importance to complete? Really not the time.”
Jin looked over the pile of parts, making sure everything was accounted for. “Cool, everything’s here. The overhaul will take at least a week, so I’ll wait until after we have our plans to save the Allfather ironed out before I put the car back together.”
Carl nodded, then reached into his coat, pulling out the sealed orders for everyone in the room, including Marcel. Carl looked at that note with a small amount of surprise, then shrugged and handed it over to his father. Marcel noticed that the envelope told him to open it in private, so he excused himself from the group, headed for his room.
Carl watched him leave, then looked over to the group. “Let’s see here…huh. Well, apparently, we’re going to actually make nice-nice with the Imperialist Japanese. Jin, you and Sachi here are going to be in charge while we travel to Mt. Inasa. Something about a pilgrimage to visit the Allfather. Jin, you’ll be in your draconic form for this trip and Sachi will be your, ahem, courtesan accompanying you. The rest of us are going to be your retainers, milord,” Carl snarked, rolling his eyes as he upended the envelope and crisp travel papers fell into his hand.
“Huh. Jin’s a mid-level noble, being a dragon and all, while I’m to be his body guard. Zeke’s his personal valet…Camilla’s his armsmistress…and Cenere…oh, wow. You’re his, uh, scullery man and personal ass wipe.”
“What?!” Cenere said, snatching the paper from his hands. “What the actual fu-”
Jin rolled on the floor, laughing so hard he’d begun crying. “Fancy…I’m…going to need…you to scrub out my chamber pot…with your toothbrush. It…will…please me…hahaha!”
Cenere’s head turned to the laughing gnome, his gaze murderous. “This is because of me punching you in front of the Nazis, isn’t it?”
Jin nodded, rolling onto his belly as he pounded his feet and fists on the floor. He finally took his feet, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I mean, this is so much better than what I planned to do to you for that. I was just going to set all of your stuff on fire.”
Carl pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. “I’m not getting paid enough to run this bloody daycare. Right, so you’ve got your orders. Jump to. I’ll go make sure the RHIB is ready.”
Sachi groaned as she stared at her orders. “Jin, I’m going to need to borrow a room for making myself some proper kimonos.” She looked over her shoulder at Krang, “Care to give me a hand? These kimonos are going to be a pain in the ass to do by myself.”
Krang nodded and followed his love into the room they’d set aside. After watching her make the first one, he formed a pattern and instruction set in his head, grabbing scissors, needles, thread, and the silk cloth from storage that would be appropriate for her station, watching her run her sewing machine with a smile as he sewed at the same pace by hand. He heard a commotion from the main room, and poked his head out, quickly joined by Sachi, both stifling a laugh as they watched Jin order Cenere around, the Inquisitor doing his level best to ignore the little guy.
∞∞∞
A different Inquisitor held his head in his hands as he stared at the note in his lap. He was sitting on his bed, trying to make sense of the words on the piece of crisp vellum written in a delicate scrawl. He drew his belt knife and cut his palm, smearing blood on the text before setting it alight with Hellfire to send it below.
He was to die aboard this blasted submarine, that was no surprise. He was also to send Lucifer advance notice that he had news for the Dark Father. Already done. But…what was to happen to the group he’d come to enjoy being a part of? The flames guttered as he held his face in his hands, weeping for the pain and suffering his son and minions were to endure in the very near future. And the worst part? He was forbidden to say a damned word.
Marcel reached down the front of his shirt and withdrew a locket wi
th an inverted cross on the front, the Inquisitor’s brand on the back. He popped the locket open and stared at the pictures within, one of his sweet, if Amazon, wife. The other was of his little boy, smiling at the man holding the camera, his adorable little tusks sticking out of his mouth as he held up a stringer of fish they’d caught on their fishing trip. The last day before he left on this blasted mission. Tears slid down his face as he lost himself in his memories, remembering the sweet little boy that had wanted to be an artist, a painter.
His eye drifted back to the gorgeous creature in the first picture, dressed in the very coat Carl now wore, an executioner’s axe slung over her shoulder, smoking a Cuban cigar and smiling ferally at the camera as she stood, one foot resting on a Balrog’s head, her elbow resting on her knee. He smiled as he remembered the day he’d taken that picture too, the day they’d slain the Demon Prince Shazzgat back in ’33 when the idiot had tried to conquer Spain. He kissed the picture and smiled sadly. “Be seeing you soon, Molly my dear. Not long now.”
Chapter Sixteen
Sachi collapsed on her bed, utterly exhausted after a long day of sewing. They would be surfacing the next night, and she planned on sleeping for as much of that blissful day as she could. She felt like she hadn’t gotten many good night’s sleep since that damned pyramid. She’d passed out while watching the monitors and woke up to see that absurd doctor torturing her friend.
She shook her head to clear the memory from her mind before getting up, and shedding her sweaty clothes, flinging them at the hamper by the door. She lay back on the bed nude and was dead to the world as soon as her head hit the pillow after getting the sheets over herself.
Almost immediately, she felt herself falling, screaming all the way to the ground. She pulled herself out of the broken concrete and looked around in terror. “Oh God, no…not again!”
She looked down and found herself to be in a torn version of her usual combats and covered in small wounds. A slow clap filled her heart with dread, and she turned, staring at the emaciated man behind her as he smoked a crinkled cigarette, and pulled off the pair of aviators obscuring his eyes. Sachi stared into those horrifying orbs, watching the night’s sky as it shifted within the inky darkness. The painfully thin man smiled, showing off his shark-like grin as he ashed his cigarette. “No! Get away from me!”
“But Sachi…I thought we were friends!” the man said as he stepped closer, crushing the bony hand of a skeleton that lay in the dusty wasteland that had once been Los Angeles, several planes to the left and eight down. She stared in horror at the remains of her hometown and tried to run from the terrifying man. She stopped as she watched a survivor get carried off by a pair of anzu that grabbed him as he ran, then ripped the poor man in half, each raptor demon flying in a different direction, entrails and ichor falling to the ground below. A veritable sea of destroyed cars on the ruined pavement of the I-5 lay in her path.
A hand gently rested on her shoulder and the nearly skeletal man leaned in and whispered in her ear. “After all, we go through this every single time you come back to me. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you drinking caffeine like it was going out of style.” He turned her around to stare into those chocolate brown eyes of hers. “I will have my way, my dear. I will use you, abuse you, and throw you to the curb when I’m done with you. I own you, my dear, and will be along to collect when the time is ripe. But, don’t worry…it won’t be tonight. Instead, I think I’ll just torture you, and try to break your will. I could just shatter your mind now, but…where would the fun be in that?”
“I’ll…never give in to your demands!”
“Oh, honey,” Cthulhu laughed gaily as he booped her on the nose. “You act like you’ve got a choice! Now, come here! Daddy wants some sugar!”
The world burned as Sachi’s horrified screams punctuated her unwillingness to indulge the Elder God of Chaos’ depravities. Outside of her mind, she tossed and turned fitfully in bed as darklight seeped out of her open, silently screaming mouth, her open eyes reflecting the night’s sky.
∞∞∞
“C’mon, Cammy! I mean, I go down on you all the time! Why can’t you return the favor?”
“Didja nae hear the jerk tha’ put the whammy on the wee…heh, nae so wee bodkin ye’re smugglin’? I dinnae ken if it’ll get me knocked up if I swallow, and I refuse to find out.” Camilla said with her arms crossed as Cenere glared at his girlfriend. “I loue ye, but I cannae get preggers right now, ye sweet dumb man.”
Cenere sighed and crawled into bed, muttering under his breath as Camilla stifled a laugh. She slid under the covers as well, then grabbed the nae so wee appendage, catching the tiefling by surprise. “I thought you were scared that swallowing would get you pregnant?”
Camilla snorted. “Who said I was tae blow ye? Sorry, lover, ye’ll hae tae settle fur a handjob.” Cenere smiled as Camilla got to work handling his needs.
Suddenly, both felt the burning sensation on the backs of their hands indicating a strong Chaotic presence, and they both shouted expletives as they jumped out of bed. The pair slid on enough clothing for modesty’s sake and grabbed the first weapons in reach, Cenere his knife cuffs and Camilla her prized hammer. They ran out of the room, almost colliding with Carl and L’Orange as they crashed through the door to Sachi’s room, with Marcel hot on their heels.
They found her thrashing on the bed, clearly in the throes of a horrific nightmare. Camilla dropped her hammer, cracking the marble floor tiles as she jumped on the bed, pinning her friend to the mattress. Sachi’s eyes were wide open and she began screaming foul curses in Abyssal, flailing harder as she tried to force her way out from under the Inquisitor of Wrath that kept her pinned down.
Cenere’s hands became wreathed in Hellfire and he carefully grabbed Sachi’s head at the temples, channeling Hellfire into the possessed woman to drive out the Chaotic being within. Darklight poured out of Sachi’s mouth and eyes in greater volume and she leered at the Inquisitor, her eyes boring into his own. His brand became white hot, and Cenere staggered away, clutching the brand on his right hand, the flesh burning and sizzling away as he fought the urge to scream. Sachi then turned her gaze upon Camilla and blasted her off the bed with a telekinetic wave of force.
“Idiot mortals! Do you really believe you can save her from me?” A dark, raspy voice uttered using Sachi’s mouth. The possessed woman then began floating, her hands wreathed in darklight. “This world will fall! And all of you…will die. Ugh, stop fighting me, you stupid bitch!”
Sachi clutched her head and uttered a sound not meant for human vocal cords, an inhuman scream that made everyone’s skin crawl. She then fell from the air, vomiting the viscous black liquid known as necrid, the condensed form of darklight. Carl and L’Orange took off their gloves and both fired gouts of fire on the vile liquid, burning it away with their black and green flames.
Sachi collapsed on the floor, exhausted, her eyes clear. “Is…is it over?”
Carl looked at the back of his hand, using it to gauge how Chaotic Sachi still was. Not even a blip. She was no longer reading as a possessed, so Carl offered her a hand up. “Looks like. Why don’t you go get washed up, and, ah, put some clothes on?” Carl said, doing his level best not to notice just how the woman’s lithe body moved as she took to her feet again. She ‘eeped’ when she realized she was naked and wrapped herself in a sheet before booking it to her bathroom.
Camilla, meanwhile sat up, shaking her head to clear the cobwebs from her head, and pressed her hands against her own temples, using Hellfire to heal the minor concussion she’d gotten from slamming into Marcel, who’d gotten in the path of her flight to keep her from smashing her skull on the wall behind him. She looked down at the dazed elf, who muttered something about lorries and getting their numbers before he shook himself out of it.
Cenere’s hand stopped sizzling from the heat, a third-degree burn having ruined the appendage temporarily. He grit his teeth and channeled Hellfire into his own hand, forcing hi
mself to work through the nigh blinding pain of re-growing damaged nerves, charred bone, and soft tissues as his burnt claw became a hand again. “What…the actual…FUCK…was that?”
Carl stared at the ensuite where Sachi was no doubt bathing. “I dunno, Pup. But I get the feeling we’ll need to keep an eye on her until this is all over. I doubt this is going to be the end of her night terrors.”
Cenere nodded as he made eye contact with Camilla, both turning to look at the ensuite as they heard sobbing over the sound of the falling water. Carl shook his head. They were going to need to keep a closer eye on their resident ninja after this development, as any further possession could prove ruinous to the mission. He lit a cigarette as he left Sachi’s room, making a mental note to have a word with Cenere in the morning.
∞∞∞
In the shower, Sachi was scrubbing furiously, trying to clean the filthy feeling right out of her skin. She felt violated, like some unholy being had invaded her mind and forced her to do its bidding. In reality, that’s exactly what happened. She shook her head, fighting the urge to scream as she relived the fading nightmare.
A pair of strong arms encircled her as Krang joined her in the shower, gently holding her and whispering soothingly in her ear. She turned in his embrace, crying on his muscular chest as the water poured down her body. She looked into the android’s eyes and he smiled, wiping a tear away. Her pupils, however, briefly looked like the night’s sky before going back to their normal state again.
Krang paused, then shook his head. It must have been a trick of the light.
∞∞∞
Within the Abyss, Cthulhu laughed. His plans were coming together nicely. The girl from the future was poised to make his plan go off without a hitch, so long as he played things cool. The small fragment of his power still within her mind allowed him to jump in whenever he chose. The message in a bottle he’d sent himself from the future gave him all the knowledge he’d need to make sure things got back to this point.