by T. S. Ryder
"Nothing. Forget about it."
"No, tell me." She moved forward again, her voice lowering. "Were you thinking of kissing me again?"
Grayson laughed, embarrassed. "Something like that."
"Oh. Well, then. Yeah, we really shouldn't." Arabella’s eyes flickered to his mouth. Her tongue flicked over her lower lip.
He couldn't stop himself. He seized her around the waist and pulled her tight against his body, bringing his lips to hers. They were soft, warm, and tasted like berries. Grayson groaned as his inner fire blazed wild. He spun her around, pinning her against the wall. She dug her hands into his hair and he grasped her wrists, pinning them above her head. She was just as eager as he was, proving it by thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Excited to have a repeat of that morning, perhaps?
A deep groan emanated from his throat, but a sudden ringing interrupted them. Grayson pulled back as though he had been shocked. Arabella's cheeks were flushed and she ran a hand through her hair, panting slightly.
"I . . . need to take this," Grayson grunted, frustration rising within him. What was wrong with him? Saying that it was inappropriate and then kissing her like that? Maybe he had taken too long to think about dating again. His hormones were taking over.
"What?" he snapped as he opened the phone.
"Mr. Alexander," a timid voice said. "This is the Redfern General Hospital. You are listed as Henry Landon's emergency contact."
Ice flooded his veins.
"Mr. Landon was brought in with severe kidney and liver failure," the voice continued. "We've stabilized him but—"
"I'm on my way," Grayson said. He hung up the phone and turned to Arabella. "Henry's in the hospital. Tell the kids I'm sorry I'm missing dinner. I don't know when I'll be back."
Arabella nodded, her eyes wide. A rush of gratitude filled him. He almost kissed her again. But that wasn't going to happen. Instead, he grabbed his keys and dashed to the flight platform, praying Henry was going to be alright.
Chapter Five – Arabella
Henry was in the hospital for almost a week, during which time Grayson increased his political activity. It was unfortunate for him, but Arabella could see up close how passionate he was about this cause. Almost nothing could break his concentration.
Olivia and Hudson both asked to see Henry, so, with Grayson's permission, Arabella bundled them in coats and hats and drove them down to the hospital later that week. It was a good step forward for the mission, him trusting her to take the children out by herself. He didn't even send bodyguards with her.
It would be very easy to just take them and disappear, but that wasn't the plan. She still had a week left before the kidnapping and to accelerate the plan would be dangerous.
It certainly didn't help that she still tasted Grayson's lips on hers whenever she went to bed at night. Or that she dreamed of his smile, of him kissing her knuckles and telling her what a wonderful person she was. Even worse were the daydreams – telling her that there was real passion, real care, present when they had had sex, and that it was different from every time she'd been with a man before. The daydreams that told her she had a future here.
The ridiculous emotions wouldn't leave her alone. It was making it hard to focus on the mission. And when Olivia or Hudson cuddled in next to her while she read, or crawled into her lap when they were crying . . . it was getting to be too much.
But she had to complete the mission as it was given to her. Nobody else was going to look out for her.
When she got to the hospital, Grayson took the twins in to see Henry. Arabella stayed outside the room, saying she wanted to give them privacy. She sank into a chair, resting her face in her hands.
What was happening to her? She played nanny for a few weeks and suddenly she was Mary Poppins? This wasn't happening. She wasn't going to give up her life and future for these people. It wasn't like there would be any permanent effects from the kidnapping. Grayson would be scared and more careful in the future, but the children would be fine.
A high, childlike voice broke through her thoughts. "Can I help you, Miss?"
Arabella's head snapped up. Kennedy stood in front of her wearing crisp blue scrubs, her brown hair wound into a bun at the back of her head. She wore a pair of glasses with small diamonds in them. Arabella jumped to her feet, her hands clenched. She opened her mouth to demand to know what her colleague was doing there but stopped herself just in time.
"Actually, I was just wondering where the bathrooms were," she said, fighting to keep her voice level.
"I'll show you to them. They can be tricky to find." Kennedy walked away and Arabella followed.
"You better have a good reason for this," Arabella warned her in a hiss.
Kennedy checked the stalls when they entered the bathroom, then turned to Arabella. "Finally we can talk."
"What are you doing here?" Arabella resisted the urge to strangle her. "You were given strict instructions—"
"You have the targets with you. Now is the perfect time to put the plan in motion," Kennedy interrupted. "We take the kids to the drop point and then we're home free. Or do you not want this mission to succeed, sister?"
Arabella laughed, though her heart was pounding. "Of course I want this to succeed. Which is why we stick to the plan and you stop your cowboying around. I am in charge – you do what I say. We stick to the plan."
Kennedy's eyes narrowed. "Stick to the plan. The plan that you refuse to share? You know what I think, Arabella? I think that you're getting awfully close to the targets. Too close, maybe. You're letting emotion cloud your vision."
"I am in perfect control," she spat back. "You're the one who lacks discipline. How well do you think you will be received if your impatience ruins yet another mission? Maybe the organization will want me to kill you once we're done so they don't have to deal with you anymore."
"As if you could."
"Please," Arabella smirked at her. "It would be like stepping on a squirming little mouse."
Kennedy's eyes flashed. With a growl, she launched herself across the narrow space between them. Her fist swung at Arabella's face, but she was too quick. Arabella dodged the blow and followed it up with a strike to the ribs that left Kennedy gasping for breath.
"Had enough?" Arabella mocked her.
She kicked out Kennedy's knee, but her colleague used her momentum to swing around and wipe Arabella's feet out from under her. Arabella threw herself onto her back and kicked out, both feet colliding with Kennedy's face. The other woman cried out, rolling over twice and ending up underneath the sink.
Arabella got to her feet and locked the bathroom door quickly. She rolled to the balls of her feet as Kennedy scrambled back up, rubbing her jaw. The familiar anger was in her eyes and Arabella could have grinned. All it took to beat Kennedy was to make her angry. She wasn't exactly the cleverest girl in the organization and when she was angry. Her focus narrowed too much, making her an easy target.
Although, considering their location, continuing the fight wasn't in either of their best interests.
"We're in a hospital and there are witnesses just outside this door," Arabella said, her voice lowered. "How long do you think it'll be before someone needs to use the toilet? Stand down, Kennedy. You are the one who will be arrested if this continues, not me. And where will that leave you?"
Her colleague growled again but lowered her fists. Arabella nodded, satisfied, and unlocked the door again. She strolled to the mirrors and fixed her hair.
"Here." She handed Kennedy a small container of foundation from her purse. "To hide the bruise that's going to form."
Kennedy took the foundation with a scowl. "We're not the same tones."
"It'll look better than a big black bruise." Arabella, satisfied with her appearance, headed for the door. "Get out of here, Kennedy. I don't want to see you again. If I do, I'll tell the higher-ups that you're putting the mission in jeopardy."
When she returned Henry's room, Grayson was just stepping out. His
skin looked gray, his eyes tired. Hudson was in his arms and when he saw Arabella, he leaned forward, reaching for her.
"There you are." Grayson smiled at her. "I was wondering where you had gone."
Arabella took the toddler, trying to ignore the pang in her stomach as Hudson curled into her arms, one of his arms wrapping around her neck. He clung to her like a little monkey and she was reminded once more about how she was going to put them in danger by taking them from their father.
As long as everybody sticks to the plan, they won't be hurt.
It wasn't comforting. Kennedy had already proven she wasn't going to stick to the plan. Why should Arabella expect it was going to go smoothly?
"Arabella?"
"I thought it should just be, you know, friends and family."
Grayson put an arm around her and guided her into the room. "Nonsense. You're as much family to the twins as anybody now."
He smiled down at her again. She remembered the kiss, the one she thought would help her weasel in deeper to his affections and make this job all the easier. It made her legs turn to jelly. Kissing him had been a bad idea. She needed to stop this, turn back from these affections. Maybe Kennedy was right. Maybe she should just take the children away now instead of waiting.
Henry sat in the hospital bed, Olivia on his lap. The steady beep of the heart monitor and the bounteous tubes sticking out of him didn't seem to bother the little girl at all. The hospital was a regular part of their lives. She almost flinched. Her job here was paid for by the people who had put them in this position in the first place. If she was successful, the mining companies would continue putting people in these situations.
But if she wasn't successful? What would the personal consequences be? It wasn't like she could just go to her superiors and say that they should drop the job because it was morally wrong.
"Livvy told me that you like reading to her," Henry said, bringing Arabella's attention back to him. "They're very fond of you. I don't think I've ever seen Hudson cling to anybody but Grayson before."
Arabella forced herself to laugh. "He's a little monkey. We're going to start working on getting him talking, aren't we? He needs to start letting us know what he wants, instead of relying on Olivia to translate everything."
"Hud don't talk," Olivia said wisely. "Unca Henwy, you sing to me."
Maybe she could take Henry instead of the twins. It was clear that there was a deep bond between him and Grayson. They were more like brothers than best friends. Arabella shifted Hudson in her arms. If they took Henry, then the children wouldn't be in danger. Although that would be changing the plan and how could she justify it when she had already proven that she could take the children away from Grayson's house?
Maybe she could be 'kidnapped' with them. Then she could keep them calm and when it was over and she received her freedom, she could stay on. She could see if there was something more that could develop between her and Grayson . . . and she could encourage him to pull back from politics so that the organization would never target him again.
Her mind spun in circles, leaving her breathless. What was she thinking? She couldn't do that. It would end up getting them all killed.
"I'm going to get coffee," she blurted, passing Hudson to Grayson. "I'll be back."
She left the room quickly, hands trembling. What was wrong with her? Why were all these emotions pressing in on her? She poured herself a coffee and added sugar and cream, surprised at the burn of tears in her eyes.
I can't do this.
Soft footsteps sounded behind her and she knew it was Grayson. Her stomach cramped, her heart flipped and the lump in her throat increased.
I have to do this. What choice do I have?
Chapter Six – Grayson
Grayson knew that Arabella knew he was there, but she didn't turn as he followed her to the free coffee served in the waiting room. She kept her back to him as she poured herself a cup, adding more sugar and cream than he had ever seen her consume before. Her hands shook and she seemed to hunch in on herself. It surprised him to see her so vulnerable and he couldn't help but think that it was his fault.
He was the one who told her it was inappropriate to have a relationship and then he had kissed her. He was the one that initiated the sex before that. It had almost been a full week, but it still felt fresh to him. Was it the same for her?
"Arabella?"
She turned, stirring her coffee, though she still refused to look directly at him. Grayson put his hands over hers, making her stop. She closed her eyes briefly and looked up at him. Her expression was more or less blank but there was still a glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes.
Grayson lowered his voice to make sure that the others around them couldn't hear but he wasn't going to back down. "What's wrong? Is it because we made love?"
She tried to pull away but he tightened his grip just enough so that she couldn’t. "It's not that."
Relief poured over Grayson to hear that. He knew that she wanted that kiss, could taste her passion when their lips met but that didn't mean that she didn't regret it. She didn't maintain eye contact for long, instead just looking back down at her coffee.
"So what is it?"
She shook her head.
"Arabella, if I did something—"
"It's not you. It's me. It's all me. I . . . I don't know if I can . . . " She sighed. "Seeing the way you are with the twins and the way they get along. Even Henry. It's difficult for me. I was never really part of a real family. It was always just me, you know? My parents weren't really there. I don't even remember them all that much. I can't help but wonder what I would have turned out like if they had actually cared about me."
The raw pain in her eyes made his fires flare. He wanted to track down her parents and demand that they see the agony that they caused their daughter. Nobody should have to feel like they were unloved. It made him furious that someone as kind as Arabella was made to feel that way.
"What about your sister?"
Arabella shook her head. "She's not really my sister. She . . . "
She trailed off, clearly not wanting to say any more than that. Grayson moved forward again. He brushed his fingers against her cheek. Her skin was so soft and warm, it made him want to wrap her in his arms and never let her go.
"You can trust me," he promised.
"That's not the issue. My past is my past, and I don't . . . Nobody can change what I've done."
"What you've done? You’re a wonderful person." He moved his hands down her arms, stepping closer. The steam of the coffee rose between them and Grayson gently moved it aside. "Arabella, you are a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate—"
"Grayson, please."
He shook his head. "Let me finish."
She sucked her lower lip between her teeth and nodded. Her eyes glimmered with tears and he wiped a stray one away as it rolled down her cheek. Even with the antiseptic smell of the hospital and the hum of activity, he only focused on her. He was too focused on her and letting her know how he felt. Maybe it was silly to have such strong emotions after knowing her for such a short amount of time, but it had worked the same way with Christine. He had known he wanted to marry her after only a week.
"I appreciate what you do for me," he started. "And for the twins. They love you."
She jerked away from him as though he had slapped her. "Grayson, no."
"They do. I've never met anybody who is quite like you – with your patience and the way you always seem to know exactly what to do."
"Stop!" Her voice was a hiss. "Stop it. Look, I know that losing your wife was hard on you, but I'm just the first woman who has been in your life full-time since her. So whatever you think you are feeling, it's not real. You're just learning how to test the waters again. That kiss? It was a mistake."
"I don’t think so."
"It was. And we didn't make love. We had sex. That's all it was. We need to keep our minds on what is important."
Grayson frowned at the distress
emanating from her but backed away. As much as he'd like to throw her over his shoulder and fly away to where they could talk until her distress turned to something else, he knew he had to keep himself under control. Yes, he was becoming more and more certain of his feelings for her, but that didn't mean that she felt the same. Humans were tricky that way.
She pushed past him, then stopped. Her shoulders sagged and she turned back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. It's just that . . . I learned long ago that emotion was a dangerous thing and I didn't want now, of all times . . . " She shook her head, shrinking into herself again. "It's putting everything in jeopardy."
Grayson moved closer again. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"No. I'm going to hurt you. I've come to really care about Olivia and Hudson. More than I thought I could. And thinking that anything might happen to them . . . " Her lip trembled and she sucked in a deep breath. "Haven't you ever thought about giving up on politics? For their sake?"
Grayson frowned. "I'm not sure what you mean."
"People are mad. What you are doing threatens their way of life and that can have consequences. Don't you think that you're putting your children in danger over this?"
"There have been threats," he admitted. "There are always threats. Even before I started getting involved. But when I think about what their futures are . . . I can't put this on their shoulders. I won't." His eyes grew steely. "My children are never going to have to see the world this way. I am going to change it for their sake."
"What is the point of doing all of this if they don't end up having a future, though?" she pressed, her own eyes narrowing. "You say there have been threats. What if they come true and something happens to the twins because of your politics?"
Grayson's brow furrowed. Why was she so insistent about this? He moved closer, reaching for her hand. "Did somebody threaten you?"