by Adair Rymer
“Jesus. What do you keep in there? Rocks?”
“Something like that.” Knives, guns and tactical plates, but I didn't want to kill the mood. She already knew what kind of man I was—a lion in wolves' clothing.
Natasha was impossibly sexier than I remembered, now that the memories themselves were returning. She hadn't changed physically all that much, but the hardness within her rivaled my own. If she had superpowers, she might be even deadlier than me.
She was my princess growing up. Now she was my lioness.
I wrenched off my smooth Under Armour shirt and stood before her, bare to my belted cargo pants. She gasped at the rows of hard muscles across my torso and the scars. The only things I couldn't heal were the damn scars.
“You look like a crossword puzzle.” Placing a palm to my chest, she ran her nails down every healed wound, enjoying how I inhaled briskly at her touch.
“Loving reminders that I won't live forever.” I caught her wrist and smiled. “What have you got hiding under that halter top?”
Her eyes smiled at the dare. Lets' find out, they said. She reached for the bottom of her shirt, but I stopped her. I wanted that particular honor. I'd gone to second base with her a few times when we were kids, somehow I doubted she would feel the same way.
She closed her eyes and arched into my touch while I stripped her. I scooped under her shirt and peeled it off her skin like the blue film on a new phone. The heat and the sleazy city lights made her flesh look glossy.
She didn't have a fraction of the scars I had. Despite how hard she tried, she still hadn't lost that innocence I remembered. I was glad for that. The air around her crackled in a way only I could see. Little micro bursts of energy played across her skin. Even the breeze saw how special Natasha was, and it demanded I never stop paying attention.
“You're so much prettier than I remembered,” I breathed the words across her flushing skin. The beautiful shade of pink set her pale chest on fire. “How could I have not seen that before?”
“Maybe because I was trying to shoot you at the time.” She breathed deep, then tugged her bra free. She used sarcasm as armor. Nat had to do that, it gave her some sense of control even when laying herself bare.
I smiled. She thought I meant in the apartment complex courtyard. Silly girl.
Despite the heat, her nipples were as firm as if we were in a walk-in freezer. She wanted this. I could read her body better than she could, but I couldn't see into her mind. Did she know who I was? It was selfish. I hated to imagine the desire in her face being for anyone else, but me.
I wanted to taste every inch of her, but I wasn't going to start at her breasts. I brushed the matted red curls from the side of her face and led her back to my famished mouth.
She crushed her naked body against mine, my sculpted muscles on her yielding skin. Two broken lovers finally coming together. She clenched her teeth, but the groan of yearning and arousal still escaped her.
That sound wrecked my head, stirring a primal force within me. I wanted Natasha so badly, it almost hurt. The serum in my brain warned me to be careful. You're not here for this.
I ignored it.
I stepped through her and brought us both crashing into the bed. Her clothes and life debris tumbled from the sheets to the floor. It was easy to tell she hadn't brought anyone home in a long time. I hated the idea of her being lonely, but part of me was glad she held onto the memory of me. Not me, not really, but she did still love Logan.
That would have to be enough.
Her hand drifted up to my mask. It was her only protection from me and she wanted to remove it. Through my mask's lenses I could see her eyes burn for me.
“That's cheating,” I said, with a taunting smile.
“Spoilsport.” Her frown hinted at the way she used to pout when she didn't get her way. She really had changed a lot from the spoiled, sometimes selfish teenager. Seven years changes everyone I guess.
The heat rolling out from between her thighs was a raging inferno to my enhanced senses. It was a fire I hoped would burn me alive. My cargo pants snagged and ripped her leggings, then tented with the massive size of my cock. Its rigid shape grazed against her and stoked her flames that much more.
Natasha's frown shifted into a coy smirk as she reached for my belt instead. “How 'bout this, Superhero? Or is that against your rules too?”
“Some rules are made to be broken.” I said, gliding my hand around the waistband of her miniskirt. Do it. An impulse compelled me to tear down the side of the garment like it was paper. I was strong enough to punch through stone, cotton was less than nothing.
“Oh, shit!” Nat laughed. It was a bubbly, surprised sound, sweeter than anything I'd ever heard. Her breathing steadied as she regained her composure. “I just bought that!”
“Purple?” I marveled at her newly revealed panties, then let my enhanced gaze devour the rest of her. The soft curve of her waist, her hip bones, the way the bumps of her ribs slightly broke the smoothness of her skin; all of it was every fantasy I'd ever had rolled into one. “You have to admit, I was pretty close.”
“I still don't believe you can see through clothes.” She slid my pants down, enraptured by the thick outline of my cotton-covered cock. She couldn't take her eyes off of it. She dragged a finger down the front seam of my briefs, until she hit the stem of my cock. “Because if you could, there's no way I'd have missed this...”
She knew I liked what I saw. She was right, too. If I could see her naked all the time my cock would be at rigid attention whenever she was near me.
Even through the cotton I could feel the lines in her fingerprints as she continued down the entire length of my shaft. My cock twitched beneath her hand, it raised nearly invisible hairs on the sides of her neck.
“Wow,” she said, so softly that she couldn't even hear it. I did though. Loud and clear.
“If you think that's big,” I pushed down on the bed and slid a hand under her head, bringing me a tongue's length from her ear. My words were coffee syrup, thick and dark. “Just wait till you feel me fill you up.”
“That a threat?” she cooed, trying to maintain the appearance of being in control of herself.
“What if it is?” I knew the truth. She wanted to feel every long, hard inch of me. Despite how much my abilities scared her, she wanted to know what it would be like to be fucked by me.
Natasha sat up and kissed my shoulder, then my jaw. One of my fingertips brushed down her belly, resting on the rim of her panties. Her shoulders dipped toward me, her whole body begging for me to explore further. Her flesh was pulsing beneath me. Electricity arced between us, that jump started even my slowed heartbeat. The smoldering energy between us was thick enough to drown in.
When she couldn't stand anymore I pushed her back and hiked her hips up so that her ankles were by my ears.
“Are you going to rip those too?”
“Do you want me to?” I didn't need to see her to know she was wet, I could feel it in the air. Her scent sent a shiver of excitement through me. Animalistic impulses fired within me and were getting harder to control.
Her teeth closed on the corner of her lip. I took that as my answer and tore the useless purple fabric off her body. The quick motion and the sudden breeze against her soaked pussy made her legs twitch.
I sucked in all the air between us, capturing her fragrance, letting her pheromones drive my senses crazy. For the first time in years I was hungry for something other than food or revenge. Natasha was so mouthwatering that I had to swallow my saliva by the bucket.
I couldn't hold back any longer.
I dove in, nuzzling the inner part of her thigh. My stubble bristled against her smooth skin. She could never know the depth of what I was experiencing, but she could feel the rapid rise and fall of my chest. It was like seeing the sun for the first time. Being with her like this, made me feel alive.
Spreading her with my fingers, I kissed right above her swollen clit. “I've always wondered
what you taste like.”
“Always?—Oh, God!” Nat squealed as I curled my tongue along her wet lips.
“Since I first saw you,” I clarified, then scolded myself. Stay in control, dammit.
I plunged back between her legs and nibbled at her pussy. She squeaked and balled up the sheets in both hands. Nat smiled, gasped and twisted on the bed from the pleasure.
Her rigid body was an open book to me. My teeth carefully scraped against her most tender parts. She still couldn't trust that I wasn't going to hurt her. That was good. I could barely trust myself.
Jumbled, broken words tumbled out of her mouth as I made her lower lips a slave to my every whim. Her nails down my back lightly opened me up, but I couldn't spare the concentration to close the scratches. I was too absorbed in her, in the way she jolted and twitched. The pleasure, the pain, all of it was unlocking old doors in my soul that had long since been abandoned.
Her legs bent and her toes curled, for the first time since we started, she pulled me in closer. She'd never say it out loud, but that was her way of begging. She was painfully close and she wanted me to finish her off.
I lived for the taste of her. I wanted to drink in her cum and experience every spasm. I wanted her pussy to crush my tongue and to feel her whole body release tension.
Finally her body flared with heat. She shouted something so hoarse that even I couldn't make it out. Pressure exploded, her muscles flexed to taut cords as she came through the tip of my tongue.
She climaxed hard, the aftershocks rippled through her belly. Her orgasm changed the way she tasted. Her release was palpable, physical, tangible, and incredibly intimate. She was cotton candy, dipped in sex, and lit on fire.
“I want you to fuck me.” Exhausted, but still hungry for more, Nat lurched forward and grabbed my cock.
Her hot, rough grasp sent waves through me, made me gulp in air. Everything was so vivid— Natasha, the sex, it was all so hyper real.
Give in to it...
Nat had my cock out of my briefs and pressed against her lips; my precome glistened.
I shoved her back down on the sheets. I wanted to fuck her, I needed it. The world outside had been dulled in my head, so I could only see, hear and feel what was in this apartment. Now my world narrowed even further. My focus brought my senses to that of a pinprick. We were two people in a field of darkness.
I dragged the head of my cock along her pussy. That bubble of light shrank even further until there was nothing left but a single feeling. Not her nor I, just the long, slow drag of my cockhead melting her engorged clit, then pushing past her lips.
Almost there.
That wasn't true, I wasn't even close to coming. Nat and I still had a long way to go together to stop now.
“Stop.” Her voice was a distant gasp.
Almost... said the familiar voice inside me, the one that always edged me on to complete my mission.
No, stop! This time it was my own voice I heard in my head. It was desperate and pleading with me. Like the whoosh from standing too close to a speeding train as it passed by, all the distractions I'd blocked out to focus on only Natasha rushed back to me.
The streets flooded me with enough force to jolt me backward slightly. All the cries, curses, screams, horns, shifting metal, rubber wheels rolling, and thousands of other sounds were deafening in my ears. The hazy, smog-filled air battered my nose and mouth and the dull lights filtering through her window were now blinding.
My head was pounding almost as fast as...my heart. What the hell was going on?
“Stop!” Nat's voice was a strained whisper in a sea of booming noises.
Then I saw it. The look of terror on her blood-drained face. My hand was suddenly around her neck, squeezing!
Fuck! I had given in! I lost control. It took a deliberate effort to pull my shaking hand from her throat.
My body had betrayed me. I could tell by how fast my heart was beating. I immediately slowed it down to a snail's pace, but the damage was done.
I almost killed the woman I loved!
Jesus, I was a fucking monster.
You didn't come back for her, said the dark voice in the front of my mind that was only concerned with the mission. She is only a distraction.
I staggered clumsily away from her, sharing her look of horror. I slid my pants up and grabbed my jacket. I couldn't do both. I couldn't be with her and protect her. That's not why I came back.
“I—” All words failed me. Nothing I could say would make this better. I lost control. I was no better than an animal and needed to be put down. It was time to end this, to end everything. This insanity needed to stop.
I had to go. By this time tomorrow I would never be able to hurt Nat ever again.
Natasha was catching her breath when she reached for me. I recoiled from my own shame.
“Logan is dead,” I said, looking away. Then I jumped through her seventh story window.
Chapter 7
Natasha
Logan is dead.
Beyond everything else that happened, those three words haunted me the most.
In a lightly saner world the Shadow would've been Logan. He looked so much like I imagined Logan would look now! But people didn't come back from the dead. It just didn't happen. It wasn't possible!
Whoever this Shadow was, he knew way too much about me. Why was this psychopath so fixated on me?
Why did I almost let him fuck me?
I had so many fucking questions! Earlier I felt like I was being pulled in every direction and now I was just ripped apart. I couldn't stop crying, which wasn't like me. At all. It felt like I had been living a lie. Where was that tough Brooklyn cop persona I created when I needed it!
“Fuck!” I hurled a glass of water across my small kitchen. It smashed against the bathroom door. I was losing my goddamn shit!
I slumped against my kitchen cabinets and covered my face. It'd been hours since the Shadow left, but I didn't feel any better. Maybe I needed more glasses to break?
It sure as hell wouldn't matter. Between the cup, and my destroyed bedroom window, my apartment was beginning to look like a china shop after the bull was finished. Or in this case, after the bull jumped out my damn window!
I wasn't all that surprised when the cops never responded to the disturbance, I bet no one even called them. What was this city coming to?
When the sun came up I summoned the courage to go look outside, but there was no trace of him. After seeing him in action, I figured that fall wouldn't be enough to kill him. That didn't stop me from checking for a splat.
I still didn't know if that was what I was hoping for...
How could one man bring me so high, then so crushingly low?
My core and pussy were still reeling from the most earth-shattering orgasm I'd ever had. In the brief period when I tried dating after I got out of the academy no man had ever touched me like the Shadow had. I didn't think I could be touched that way. My mind was still spinning.
He almost killed me! Something snapped in him. His expression went from lusty desire to...something I'd only seen when he killed Sean O'Grady. The thought made me shudder violently.
What the fuck was I expecting?! The Shadow was a murderer. I'd seen him cut through men like they were nothing more than dandelions.
But he didn't kill me. How many times had he gone out of his way to save me?
Christ, I sounded like a battered wife justifying an abusive husband.
I had no idea what the hell I was going to do about any of this.
I rubbed my eyes. All this time spent thinking about the Shadow gave me a strange craving for ice cream flavors that I hadn't had in ages. I must've still been exhausted, even my brain was betraying me.
A text notification chime on my phone cleared my head.
It took me a few minutes to find the damn thing. It was still in the cheap pleather purse that completed my seedy bars uniform. All the audio files were full. A good chunk of them were probably recorded
after I was drugged. Great...
That was the equivalent of being pocket dialed, except there were hours of it. Hours of nothing that I'd still have to listen to. Police work was rarely glamorous. If one useful sentence was uttered on the recorder at some point, and I missed it? That was on me. I sighed, that was a problem for after I had a cup of coffee.
I swiped out of that and tapped my texts. There was only one new one and it was from my partner, John.
“Meet me for chess in the park. Noon. Have a birthday present for you,” the text read.
It wasn't my birthday and we never played chess. Fortunately I knew which park he was referring to.
“Fucking hell...” Now what?
I glanced at my clock. I had six hours to kill before the cryptic meeting with John. I scrolled back to the audio files and hit play as I brewed my first cup of coffee. In retrospect listening to these files wasn't such a bad thing. I needed something to keep my mind occupied or else I was going to go insane. While my coffee percolated, I grabbed a notebook and got to work.
. . . . .
The park was packed to the gills with people who worked in Chinatown taking their lunch break. I'm sure this place had a real name, but the plaque had long since been spray painted over. All the locals simply knew it as the Red Circle.
John Ellis wore his silly trilby hat and politely humored an old Japanese man who kept trying to show him pictures of his grandchildren on his phone, despite not having a good understanding of how to use the new-to-him technology. John's exasperated face alone was worth the trip. It was almost a shame I had to interrupt them.
“You're late,” John declared once he spotted me, then he courteously, yet insistently, removed himself from the old man's plight.
“You picked the busiest time of the day to get together.” I shrugged, the exhaustion was really starting to hit me. “How are you feeling?”
John waved off my question about his health. Being stubborn and hardened was second nature to most of us. Well, the good ones at least. “I did that on purpose. Tea? Looks like you could use some.”