It took both the boathouse kid and Eli to pull me out of the boat and onto the dock, and I couldn’t even find the energy to be embarrassed. We walked back to the carpark, and I slid into Tolliver’s Jag. He still hadn’t gotten rid of it yet.
He went around the other side and buckled me in. Now it was actually getting a little tough to belt myself in, I’d stopped complaining about it. I rested my head back against the warm leather seats.
“Eli?”
Eli turned over the Jag and she purred to life. I could see why Tolliver was so reluctant to get rid of it.
“Yes, Arcadia?”
“I love you too, you know.”
He put the car back into park and unbelted himself. He leaned over and cupped my cheek, giving me a whisper light kiss. “I know.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
I hugged the toilet bowl as Tolliver sat on the edge of the tub and watched as I lost everything I’d eaten this week. Chemo sucked.
“Can I get you anything?” He asked for the thirtieth time.
“I just want to be alone.” He didn’t move. “Are you deaf? Go,” I yelled, the words harsh to my own ears, but I didn’t have it in me to apologize.
I didn’t even raise my head as he walked out the door, closing it gently behind him. I’d probably hurt his feelings. Fuck. I didn’t want to do that, but I didn’t want anyone to watch my relapse into misery either.
I burst into tears and sobbed in between dry retches. I missed Ace. She was so quiet now. I was lucky to hear from her once a day. I laid on the floor and curled around my belly. And I cried some more.
The door opened, and I saw Clary’s feet come into view. Or maybe Oz had taken to painting his toenails pink.
“Go away.”
“No.”
I looked up at her. “I mean it, Clary. Get the hell out.”
“No. I sat with you through this once, and I will do it again. Now get your whiney big baby butt off the floor. I bought some of those crackers that you could stomach last time.” She was using her nurse voice, and I sat up. I didn’t doubt she would make me if I said no again.
“Lets wipe you down, and then you can eat. You live in a house full of men. I'm pretty sure not every single one of them aims right. Men are gross.”
She got a washcloth from under the basin and filled the sink with warm soapy water. She wiped my face, my neck and then my hands.
“I don’t know if I can do this again, Clary. It's not the same as last time. I’m weaker.”
Clary scoffed. “You might be physically weaker, but you are mentally stronger. You are a badass bitch with everything to live for. You will fight, and I will be right there in your corner.”
She handed me a cracker and I nibbled it slowly. I was just so scared.
“I'm really glad you are here, Clary. I don’t know if I’ve told you that enough. I’ve been distracted.”
Clary pulled me to my feet and hugged me tight. “There is nowhere else I’d be. Now let’s get you to bed. At least you’ll never be short of bed warmers.”
I gave a half grin. “A lot of good that does me. Hopping into bed with one of them is like walking into a candy store on a diet.”
“Mm, but at least they smell good. Speaking of smelling good, have you met Tolliver's lawyer? The guy looks like sex in an Armani suit. I went to sign my employment contracts for the clinic, and the whole time I had these crazy fifty shades fantasies.”
I laughed. She was trying to distract me, and I was more than willing to be distracted. “He couldn’t possibly be hotter in Armani than Tolliver. The guy was literally on the billboard.”
She led me out of the bathroom and straight toward the bedroom. I could see all the guys hanging around my living room, looking worried. I gave them a half hearted smile and a finger wave. I didn’t have the energy to reassure them.
“I don’t know. He must work out or something, because his ass looked like two melons in a sack.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You know that isn't an attractive comparison, right?”
I slid between the cool sheets and sighed. My body was exhausted.
“Rest. I’ll get Val to send you in something white and bland later, and I’m not talking about Doc McBuffins.”
“Eli isn’t bland,” I defended weakly and she just laughed as she walked out my bedroom door.
Randomly, it was Valery that Clary got along with best, probably because he was always in the kitchen, and to her Irish roots, the kitchen was the heart of the home. So I’d often find Val and Clary in the kitchen, discussing the effect of green juices on my white blood counts or something or other.
I wasn't jealous. Okay, maybe a little at first but it soon wore off. I was their only topic of discussion, and Valery would take me in his arms and kiss me any time he got within three feet of my person. Plus, they bickered like siblings. Even now, I could hear them arguing in the kitchen.
“I’m telling you, there is an Italian doctor who swears by kale juice as a tonic for all ills, and counteracts the toxicity of the chemo,” Valery said, his French accent getting thicker as he got riled up.
“Oh sure, because an Italian kook who did a TED talk is much more trustworthy than sound science,” Clary scoffed. I hoped Clary won this battle, because I hated the kale juice.
I dozed off, and when I woke it was to Tolliver and Sam climbing into bed with me, one on either side. I snuggled in between their bodies, and let their warmth chase away the chill of the chemo.
I pressed my lips to Tolliver’s chest.
“I’m sorry I yelled.”
“You never have to say sorry to me, sweet Cady. Go back to sleep,” he kissed my forehead.
Sam rubbed my back. “We’ll be here with you, always.”
I fell back into the blackness of sleep, exhaustion chasing away my dreams.
I walked between the velvet ropes of premium class at the movie theater, my hand wrapped in Valery’s. We entered the restored playhouse, with its ornate ceiling and tiered seating. It was classic movie Tuesday and we were here to watch Casablanca for our date. I didn’t want the chemo to slow me down. I wanted my dates, not only to spend time with the guys, but ensure they were on a path of a redemption that would go on without me.
“You know, when we were spat out of hell, it was the cinema that fascinated me the most. Television too, of course, but there was something magical about watching people moving in front of you, affixed onto film and then played to the world, and sound was somehow woven in as well. It was breathtaking, and it was the first time I’d felt pleasure in hundreds of years.”
His eyes lit up as he spoke, and I could only imagine what it had been like those first couple of weeks after they had been placed here by Luc. Especially for Lux and Sam, who’d had to adjust to a couple of thousand years worth of technological advancement and social reformation.
We found our seats, and Valery raised the arm rest between us so I could snuggle in close.
We’d all decided that I would go on one date a week so I didn’t exhaust myself, and if I timed it right, I would be feeling okay after the chemo too. Valery handed me his popcorn, and I took a handful.
The cinema was beautiful, its restoration done perfectly. Heavy midnight blue velvet curtains sat either side of screen, and even from here I could see the intricate gold embroidery along the bottom edge.
Valery slid an arm over my shoulder and I rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady thump thump of his heart that defied nature itself.
He popped a milk dud in my mouth, and I let it melt on my tongue. People were still finding their seats, but the cinema was mostly empty. It was mainly hipsters and couples. The odd lonely soul sitting by themselves in an acoustically correct position.
“What are you going to do after I have the babies and get better and everyone is redeemed? Will you go back to being head chef at Epicurean?” I asked into his chest. He rested his head on my hair.
“Maybe, part time. I’m very fond of
my restaurant, but not as fond as I am of you and what will be our little family.” He laughed. “Well, perhaps not so little, not with so many papa’s. They will be well loved bebe’s. I have already begun researching how to make the tastiest, nutritionally dense baby foods. My bebe’s will eat gourmet.”
I smiled up at Valery, his handsome, guileless face holding nothing but love for me. “You really don’t mind that the babies aren’t biologically yours, do you?”
“No, ma cherie. Because they are yours, and you are mine. I will love them like they are mine. They are a miracle, no matter who fathered them.”
The lights went down and the opening notes from Casablanca came up. I’d always loved this movie. Humphrey Bogart being suave as hell, and Ingrid Bergman just had a timeless beauty that made me seriously question my sexuality. When As Time Goes By played, my eyes misted over and stayed that way until the final scene.
Valery turned to me as the credits rolled, and kissed me softly. I kissed him back with an urgency that appeared out of nowhere, inspired by the loss, the time wasted, the long goodbyes that happened in the movie. Valery groaned and slid a hand into my hair. And came away with a chunk.
He pulled back and stared at the blonde strands still wrapped in his fingers, his face horrified. I stared at them too. Then I cried. Again. Fucking hell. Valery got out his handkerchief- who still used those?- and placed my hair in the center, bundling it up and stuffing it into his pocket.
“I am sorry, Ma Chere. I should have thought…” He trailed off. I didn’t know who was more traumatized right now. “Would you like to go home?”
I wanted to be tougher, and say I was fine. But I wasn’t and all I wanted to do was go home, have Valery wrap his body around mine and sleep, hoping that I’d wake up tomorrow cured.
My lip quivered, and I pressed it between my teeth. “I’m really tired. We should go home.”
“Oui, my love. I will take you wherever you need to go.”
He stood and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, sheltering me against the world. “Will you sleep with me tonight?” I asked, and my voice was nearly lost in the happy chatter of the foyer.
“Always.”
Chapter Thirty
Unlike last time, my hair all fell out almost all at once, in large chunks that were left behind on the pillow every morning. I’d get up, heave myself to the bathroom, and by the time I got back, the offending pillowcase would be gone, and the bed would be made. I was pretty sure Clary had taught someone how to do that speed bed changing that nurses somehow managed. It was almost magic.
I struggled back into bed and onto fresh pillows. The only problem with magically changing linens was that it wiped away the scent of whoever had slept beside me. Luckily for me today, Oz was still there, arms folded behind his head, displaying a very impressive chest. Cross-fit had honed him into hard muscle, and I wanted to find the creators of the regime and kiss their feet. My eyes followed the slight dusting of hair that trailed down past his navel, and his grin got cocky as he caught me in my blatant perusal.
He waggled his eyebrows. “Don’t let me stop you. I could move the blanket if you want.”
I made a face at him and moved toward the bed, lowering myself down without much finesse and snuggling back into his warmth. Today, I was determined to be my old, happy self. Death be damned. Perhaps literally.
Today the babies were officially 28 weeks. While not ideal, we were in the safety zone. Though little Hope still needed another week or two of baking time. I was going for a 4D ultrasound, and I couldn’t be more excited to see my babies.
But first.
I laid a kiss on Oz’s shoulder, then his jaw, until he turned to kiss me back. His hand slid over my ass and up to my swollen breasts. He juggled them in his hands like they were the world's most mesmerizing stress balls.
“Oz.”
“Hmm?” He still hadn't taken his eyes from my breasts.
“Are you going to stare at those all day, or are you going to do something with them?”
He pulled down my tank and kissed one nipple then the other. “Sorry, Cady Lady. We are at DEFCON 3. Nothing that could put undue strain on your heart or bring on early labor.” His eyes went back to my breasts. “Soon, my pretties. Soon.”
With that he heaved himself out of bed. Oz slept naked. Well, most of them slept naked, except Valery and Eli.
Oz stood, stretching his arms above his head, and his back muscles tensed in all the best ways. My pulse rate sped up, as my eyes slipped down to that glorious ass. I wanted. He turned and smiled over his shoulder, the cocky showoff, and I made grabby hands and pouted.
“Not today, sexy mama. Now watch this butt wiggle as I walk away.” He strode out of the bedroom door with an exaggerated sway of his hips. I got up and walked to the shower. At least I could still do this on my own.
I was so sure of myself. And then I dropped the soap. I kicked it around with my toe, trying to get it into a reachable position. No such thing existed for me now. The soap was gone.
Half an hour later, I walked into the kitchen, cleanish. Eli was at the stove and Valery was reading the paper.
“Did Valery do a body swap? How did you get him out of the kitchen? Did Lux get out his sword again?” I leaned over the newspaper, and kissed Val good morning.
Lux huffed around his cup of coffee.
“You’ll know when I get my sword out, Arcadia.” Then he winked. It was official, they’d gone crazy.
I kissed Lux and he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me back, with the added bonus of tongue. “Good morning. You look beautiful today.”
It was a lie. I had no hair. My stomach protruded from my too thin body like I’d swallowed a torpedo. But there was no artifice on Lux’s face. He meant his words.
“Thank you. I feel good today. Ready to see the babies.” I stood, with a little help from Lux, and went over to the kitchen.
Eli was cooking bacon, sausages and eggs. The smell didn’t make my stomach turn, and I gave the universe a silent high five. “This looks great,” I said, standing on my toes for a kiss. “Can I kiss the cook?”
“Of course.” He kissed me with delicious softness, then handed me a mug of peppermint tea.
And in that moment, I felt like I had a touch of Lucifer's precognition. This could possibly be our future. Sure, having seven partners sounded exhausting at best, and untenable at worse. But I could be happy like this.
Sam walked in, and I nearly dropped my tea. He’d shaved his head, down to a fine pale fuzz. All gone.
“Your hair!”
He ran a big hand across his scalp. “I wanted to donate it to you, but the hairdresser said it wasn’t long enough. So I just shaved it off in solidarity.” He came over and kissed me, and I ran my fingers over his scalp.
Tolliver wasn’t far behind, usually where there was one, there was the other, and he shut the door behind him.
“I told him he could have just kept growing it, until it was long enough.” He slapped the back of Sam’s head and then kissed my cheek.
“And like I told you, she isn’t going to be still sick by the time my hair gets to twelve inches long. We’ll be sipping mojitos on a beach by then with the kids,” he said stubbornly.
No one spoke. Nothing needed to be said.
“Well. That’d be the only thing that got twelve inches long for Sammy,” Oz said into the silence. I laughed.
“That’s two dick innuendos and its not even-” I looked at the clock on the wall. “Holy hell, it's nine o'clock. I slept in! We have to go. We’ll never get through peak hour traffic at this rate.” I raced/waddled into the bedroom and threw on yoga pants and one of Oz’s shirts with Chewbacca on the front. It said ‘love bites only’.
Ri stumbled into the room just as I hustled back into the kitchen/dining area. Eli handed me a lunch bag and a travel mug of coffee. I thrust the cup at Ri and shoved him back towards the door.
“No time to stop, we’re running late.”
“Good
morning to you too, Beautiful Girl.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him along. I didn’t blame him for sleeping in, he’d worked until late. But today was the day I was going to see my babies in 4D and I was excited.
He opened the lift door and I walked past him. He smacked my butt on the way past, making a little hum of appreciation even though it was now twice as big as it was. He pulled the cage door closed and hit ground. Then he wrapped me in his arms and kissed me like he hadn’t been laid in seven months. Which he hadn’t, the poor bastard. His expert lips made me breathless, or maybe it was that he didn't come up for air until we reached the ground floor.
“Who needs coffee when I can wake up like that every day?” He gave my nose a small peck and then we were in the garage. The guy could kiss. Every single time it was like being consumed by red hot heat. I kept waiting for the day he fell flat, but it never came.
He led me toward the Escalade. “Not the Jag?” Yep this was my life now. Having to choose between my luxury coupe and my luxury SUV.
“Nah. Not enough safety features. I was watching a news report about it the other day. Escalade only from now on.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Tell that to Tolliver.”
The thing about the Escalade, or maybe it was just my circumstances, was that I fell asleep like a narcoleptic every time it began to move. Lights out.
When I woke up, the girl in the ticket booth in the hospital car park was trying to chat up Ri.
Seriously. It made me irrationally angry. I wanted to climb out of the car and punch her in the face. He was in the car with a heavily pregnant woman. Where did she get off trying to hit on my guy? Though Ri, bless his heart, was nothing more than polite, waiting for her to give him a ticket and leave.
“You know, if there's a long wait in the waiting room, you're welcome to come down and chat with me,” the ticket booth bimbo said. Seriously, who the hell did she think she was, with her high vis vest tied up like she was Daisy-freakin’-Duke? I snapped my eyes open, and fumbled around for my seatbelt. I was going to smack some manners into this fake-boobed wannabe meter maid. If I could just find the seat belt release. As I fumbled around, I could hear Ace’s hysterical laughter in my head. It was so nice that she was there that I momentarily stilled.
Hell's Redemption- The Complete Series Boxset Page 22