by Jane Toombs
"I do try to remember he's not my baby any more," she said.
"Keep in mind he didn't go to pieces when he was lost and hurting from the cactus spines. And remember he faced down a rattler without getting bit, because he knew how to act. I don't lie to kids. I tell him he's smart because he is--smart and brave."
"Smart enough so he's probably peeking through the flap in the tent right now seeing if we're going to kiss good night again."
"In that case, why disappoint him?"
Before she could say yes, no, or maybe, she was in Bram's arms being thoroughly kissed.
As always, she lost herself in pleasure, her heart telling her this was where she belonged.
He released her far too soon to suit her, saying, "If we go on with this the kid'll get a sex education he definitely doesn't need at his age. I remember nine as a relatively naive time in my life. Sure, I knew men and women had sex, but I didn't apply that knowledge to my mother and father. Not them."
Vala sighed and nodded. "You're right. The possibility that my mother and father could be sexual beings was the farthest thing from my mind."
He took her hand and held it in his, making her feel warm and comforted. And still a bit turned on, but she tried to quash that.
"Really, why didn't you ever get married?" she asked after a time.
He grinned at her. "No one asked me."
She squeezed his fingers. "Seriously."
"My folks, I guess. I know it wasn't easy for my mother to be alone so much. I blamed my father, not realizing until lately that it might have been lonesome for him, too. Marriage looked like a painful proposition to me, one I didn't want any part of."
"You were never even tempted?"
Bram shook his head.
She decided that had been a dumb question. He probably could have any woman he wanted without benefit of marriage. And did have? Best to leave that one alone, she told herself.
"Never mind that people all around me got divorces," she said, "I had the illusion that marriage was forever, like my folks'. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have stayed with Neal as long as I did. He was not good for my ego, just as he isn't for Davis's."
"He sounds charming." Bram's voice was a near growl. She shouldn't throw all the blame on Neal. She hadn't been what he'd expected he was getting any more than he'd been what she thought he was. But he'd been so nasty about the whole thing that it felt good to vent her feelings. "That's all past," she said firmly. "I've no intention of making another mistake like that."
"No more marriages?"
"Something of the sort. Men are--unpredictable."
"Men are?" He turned to look at her, eyebrows raised. "It's women who hold the honors in that field."
She frowned and pulled her hand free of his. "Do you find me unpredictable?"
"Haven't been around you that long," he said.
"Cop-out and you know it."
"Okay, so it is," he said. "Let's take when we were kids, that night I came over to your house. You don't think the way you acted was unpredictable? It sure felt that way to me."
"Only because you didn't know what I'd overheard. And misinterpreted, as it turned out. What had you predicted? That I'd let you kiss me?"
"Hell, I can't remember. I did want to kiss you, though."
"And I'll bet you figured once that was accomplished I'd fall at your feet and become your willing slave?"
He grinned. "Hey, I was a hormone driven teenager." Vala couldn't help but wonder if the scenario she'd presented could actually have happened if she hadn't overheard the Ice Maiden conversation. She'd been totally fascinated with Bram as a teen. Of course, her parents probably would have put a stop to any relationship between them before things got to that state.
"We'll have to throw out the teen years," she admitted. "No one that young is totally reasonable."
"No one caught up in infatuation is reasonable, no matter how old they are," Bram countered.
She couldn't argue. Hadn't she made the mistake of marrying Neal in just such a state? And wasn't she well into such a state again now? Bram had only to look at her and she tingled.
"I like to think the years have added a little sense," she told him.
"My grandmother, my father's mother, lived well into her nineties," Bram said. "Sharp to the end. Before she died, I went to see her. I made the mistake of asking her what she'd learned from life." He shook his head. "I should have remembered about the Ndee. As Davis complained, Mokesh never explained. That's definitely a Ndee trait. Grandmother looked me in the eye and said, 'Boy, you ask a foolish question. The older we get, the more we understand we know nothing.'"
Vala took time to think that one over.
"So," Bram went on, "why are we sitting here arguing when we actually know nothing, but just think we do?"
She smiled at him. "Because we're not yet ninety, I guess, so we don't believe it."
He was going to miss Vala. Every other time he'd been involved in a relationship with a woman, sex had been the center and the talk had been trivial.
Vala didn't spout trivia. She was a woman you could actually talk to and enjoy the conversation. What she said even made him think.
He'd be lying to himself if he didn't admit sex was also involved. Involved? A wimpy damn word for what was between them, physically and otherwise. He'd never gotten in this deep before, never felt the overwhelming urge to protect a particular woman from any possible harm. Hell, he was even tempted to take on that bastard of an ex-husband and punch his lights out.
Insanity.
"You look positively ferocious," Vala said. "Since you're not aiming it at me, who's the scowl for?"
"That damned Trickster," he muttered. "He can't stand to see a man get his life where he wants it without jumping in to interfere."
"If I were as old and wise as your grandmother," she said, "I might be able to answer that. In fact, I'll give it a whirl, anyway. Stasis."
"Stasis?"
"The Trickster doesn't like stasis, so he devises ways to force change on us poor humans who keep struggling to maintain the status quo."
Bram nodded. "I'd say that's an answer worthy of a Ndee."
Vala felt absurdly complimented. She also felt sleepy. "It must be getting late," she murmured.
"You could bring your sleeping bag out here next to mine," he said. "Nothing wrong with sleeping under the stars together."
Though tempted, Vala shook her head. To preserve her sanity, she was better off sharing the tent with Davis. Because of her constant need to touch and be touched by Bram, lying next to him at night was just not a good idea. Even though that was exactly what she longed to do.
"Not tonight, but maybe once more before the trip ends," she conceded, needing that promise for herself.
Chapter 12
In each night camp as they came down out of the mountains, Vala expected Davis to decide to sleep outside under the stars with Bram. Instead, her son sought the tent shortly after dark each night and didn't emerge until morning.
Which left her alone with Bram for some time before she retired to the tent. She both looked forward to those times as well as being apprehensive about them. But Bram's will power was apparently equal to hers and all they did was talk. No more good night kisses.
Then, on the morning of the third day of the return journey, Bram announced, "Tonight'll be our last camp out. Tomorrow morning we'll be heading for home."
"Bummer," Davis muttered.
Vala felt the same. She didn't want the trip to be over, wasn't ready for an ending.
Tonight, she vowed, I'll risk sleeping outside next to Bram. We're adults, we can control ourselves so that we're just two companions sharing the last night together under the stars. I want that last night with him.
To distract herself from thinking about how she'd feel when she was on the jet lifting away from Phoenix, Val deliberately concentrated on the growth along the trail. Catclaw, creosote bush, jojoba, prickly pear cactus, staghorn cholla. Until this tri
p into the Superstitions she'd never realized there was such a variety of cacti and shrubs in this arid area.
The most spectacular was the saguaro cactus that grew all around Phoenix, looking like a giant man with his arms raised. With her eyes now accustomed to the lush greenery of the East Coast, though, what did grow here seemed exotic enough to have come from another planet.
When they stopped to rest the horses, Davis said, "Look, there's a chuckwalla. He doesn't seem scared of us at all."
"As lizards go," Bram said, "chuckwallas are among the slowest and most phlegmatic."
"And the drabbest," Vala added. "Sort of a nothing color."
"Maybe 'cause he's slow he needs to sort of blend into the rocks and the ground so predators won't see him." Davis pointed at the sky. "Like that big hawk up there. I bet he eats lizards."
"Anything he can catch," Bram affirmed.
"All that makes me glad we're at the top of the food chain," Vala said.
"That's what you think," Davis put in. "Humans aren't at the top."
"Okay, I'll bite," Bram said. "What is?"
"Bite, that's a good one," Davis whooped, going into gales of laughter. When he was able to speak, he said, "What's at the top of the food chain? Vampires!"
Bram struck his forehead with the heel of his hand in mock horror while Vala rolled her eyes, chuckling.
By the time they remounted and continued on, though, her light-heartedness faded and vanished, replaced by a gloomy feeling of impending loss.
Davis, ahead of her in the single file chain, glanced back at her, but she couldn't muster up a smile.
Moments later he called to her. "Hey, Mom, we could sing like we did on the way up. You start."
What a turn of events, she thought. We arrived in Arizona with me trying to cheer Davis up and now that we're about to leave, he's trying to make me feel better.
She began with the old tried and true "Comin' Round The Mountain."
Davis chose one of his camp songs she and Bram had learned from him on the upward journey. Then Bram picked "Home On The Range."
The singing carried her along until their throats got too dry to continue. In one way it was a good thing the trip was near the end because they were almost out of water. And food, as well. Bram had packed for extra days but, as he'd said, he hadn't expected the trip to take so long.
Neither had she. And now she wished it had taken even longer.
Bram was well aware they could make it to Brenden's by dark, but he knew neither Vala nor Davis realized that. So, okay, he was cheating, so what? He needed this one last night with Vala. He'd long ago decided not to accept any fee at all from her, so one more night didn't make any difference. She and Davis would still have time to catch their flight the day after tomorrow.
He wished Vala and he could spend this last night alone together but he was willing to take what he could get.
Which, with Davis around, would be her company and maybe a good night kiss. He liked the kid--was going to miss him. Still, having a nine-year-old with them did put a crimp in romance.
He began looking early for the perfect spot to camp, needing to find one before they got too close to the flat. Old sharp eyes Davis might well pick up on his ruse if the kid realized they were practically out of the mountains. Along the trail a ways, he found a clear area with a few small palo verde trees growing on one side. "This is it," he announced. "The last night's camp."
The kid had gotten so good at setting up that Bram didn't have to tell him anything as they worked together. "I'd take you on as trail-help any day," Bram told him.
Davis beamed at the praise, then his smile faded. "Wish I could be," he said wistfully.
Bram cobbled together what remained of the food for the evening meal. "We'll have a late breakfast tomorrow at Brenden's Bronc Corral to make up for this," he told them. When everything was clean and put away, they sat on their sleeping bags in the gathering dusk in silence.
"How about a story?" Bram said finally. "Ought to be your turn, Davis."
"I guess so." The boy sounded far from enthusiastic. Then he brightened. "Maybe one Pauline told me, okay? It's about Wind Dancer."
He began telling about a young Ndee maiden and a young warrior who couldn't speak, but could sing, and how this warrior named Wind Dancer saved the girl from a wolf.
"She was hurt pretty bad, but he cured her by singing a magic song into her ear. They fell in love and were gonna get married, but then the warriors had to go and find some of the women who got trapped in a snow-storm. Wind Dancer tried to save the women from a bear that he fought single-handed. He and the bear fell over a cliff and they all knew he'd been killed."
"It was so far down, they couldn't go get his body. When they came back into camp with the rescued women, Wind Dancer wasn't with them and so everyone mourned, especially the girl who was gonna marry him."
"But pretty soon spring came and the girl was happy again. Some of the women followed her to find out why. They found her sitting in the wild flowers while a tiny little bird fluttered near her ear, like it was whispering to her. It was a hummingbird with feathers colored like the clothes the warrior who couldn't talk had worn. Then they knew Wind Dancer had come back to the girl he loved."
Davis glanced from Bram to Vala before adding. "There's a little bit more, but that's all I'm gonna tell tonight." Bram wondered why. Deciding not to pry, he said, "That'd be a sad story if it didn't end like it does."
"Do you know what comes after?" Davis asked.
Bram shook his head. "No, the story of Wind Dancer, the Hummingbird, was one I hadn't heard before."
Looking relieved, Davis said, "It's your turn now."
Bram said, "I know Mokesh told you Coyote stealing Fire was the first Coyote story, but my father told me the one about Coyote and the Wild Geese came first. So it won't really be out of turn if I tell that one."
"I guess not," Davis said.
So Bram told the story of how Coyote told the Wild Geese how much he admired their ability to fly and couldn't they help him to fly with them just once? Flattered, they lent him feathers and so he flew with the Geese for a while. "But Coyote had his own plan, one he kept hidden. As they flew, the Geese told Coyote never to look down while flying or he'd fall. Claiming he might forget, he wheedled a magic word from them that would keep him from being hurt if he did fall.
"So when they flew over the place where Coyote had wanted to get to all along, the Fireflies camp, he looked down and, sure enough, he began falling. Just in time he said the magic word and so he landed safely. After he took off his feathers, he began scheming how to steal Fire from the Fireflies."
Bram looked at Davis. "Know what this is supposed to teach Ndee kids?"
"I'm not sure."
"Vala?"
"How about don't believe the stranger who says he wants to fly with you just for fun."
Bram smiled. "Not bad."
Davis tugged at his ear. "Um--don't give away all your secrets?"
"Pretty good, too. My version is, if you already know someone is a Trickster--beware."
"Maybe that really is the first Coyote story," Davis said, "'cause it comes before he steals Fire."
"I hope you don't expect a story from me," Vala said.
"I haven't got any in stock unless you want to regress to something like 'The Three Billy Goats Gruff.'"
"You lucked out, Mom," Davis told her. "It's getting time for me to head for the tent."
Bram watched him haul his sleeping bag toward the tent, wondering if it wasn't a bit suspicious that Davis seemed so agreeable about going to bed early. As he recalled, it hadn't been that way on the trip in. Nor had the kid wanted to sleep outside again after that first time. Most kids loved the idea.
Dismissing the problem, he turned to Vala. "I always sort of rooted for the troll under the bridge instead of the goats," he told her.
She shook her head. "I might have known."
Bram eased back on his sleeping back until he was stre
tched out. Looking up at the sky, he said, "We're down to a half-moon."
He was surprised when Vala copied his move and, lying flat on her own sleeping bag, gazed at the sky. "That makes it easier to see the stars," she murmured. "Which is good, since I'm planning to sleep under them tonight."
He raised up on an elbow to stare at her and she smiled at him. "The operative word is sleep," she added.
Bram grinned, ridiculously elated. "Surely you don't think I'd be concealing a secret plan that might interfere with your sleep."
"You said it yourself. When you know someone's a Trickster--beware."
"When have I done anything even remotely Coyote-like?"
"You do have a way with you. I have a mental vision of you up there flying with the Wild Geese. Just remember, those who play with fire get burned."
"You're telling me that too late." He'd meant the words to sound teasing. Instead he heard truth ring through them. They stared at one another. He didn't know about her, but suddenly he could scarcely breathe. His heart pounded as though he was running for his life. There was nothing on earth he wanted more than to make love with Vala. Now.
He started to reach for her when, floating up from the flat land below, came the plaintive wail of a coyote.
Vala, listening to the coyote's call, swallowed, struggling to force out words to help break the spell she and Bram were caught in. "See," she managed to say, hearing the tell-tale huskiness in her voice with dismay. "I was right about the Trickster all along. He's out there somewhere laughing."
Bram, who'd been up on an elbow, sank back down onto his back, muttering, "You can bet he's the only one who is." Neither of them said anything else for some time. Vala told herself it might be best if she retreated to the tent, but she didn't move. Gazing up at the stars, she saw instead the twin lights of a jet heading for a landing in Phoenix. Soon she'd be on another, heading up, up and away from Arizona.
Blinking back tears, she fought to focus on something else. All that came to mind was her son's story of Wind Dancer. "I wonder what was at the end of that story about the hummingbird and why Davis didn't want to tell us," she said.