by C. K. Martin
‘Oh, Kayleigh, I wish I could help.’
‘There’s nothing you can do. It happened and there is nothing I can do to change the past and bring them back. I can’t make Emily’s leg magically reappear. I know that. But having something to focus on allowed me to forget sometimes how unfair life is.’
‘Look, I’ll ask around. Perhaps someone has a relative who will do it for you cash in hand.’
‘I need to make sure this is all above board Rob. She’s going to come back to do a re-inspection of the place and if she thinks it’s still not up to code, then there is every chance she could shut the whole store down. I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for it twice.’
‘True. If she’s as big a bitch as you say she is, then she’ll be looking out for any little thing to pull you up on. Is there any chance that you can get someone else to come back and take a look? There must be more than one person in her department, surely?’
‘I could, but she warned me that the chances of anyone else coming out this side of Christmas were pretty slim. I suppose she’s right about that.’
‘True. After Christmas is the same as not getting it done at all. I’ll see if we can find a little Christmas helper. I can’t promise anything, but at least I can ask.’
‘Thanks.’ Kayleigh could hear the misery in her own voice. Venting to Rob about Jo had been cathartic, but once the anger was gone, it left a void. In the absence of other festive emotion, despondency had chosen to fill it.
‘Chin up, okay? We’ll find a way to get this done. You fix the things you can and we’ll find a way to do the rest. There must still be a few electricians in the area you can call?’
‘I guess. There were a couple I left a voicemail for when they didn’t answer.’
‘Good. Ring them back. Just try not to sound too desperate. Money is tight for everyone this time of year and if they think they can cover the spending on their credit cards by taking advantage, then they will.’
‘That’s not very nice.’
‘Human nature.’
‘Cynic.’
‘Yes, I am,’ laughed Rob. ‘I have no idea how you manage to stay so upbeat all the time.’
‘I don’t feel like I’m doing it very well at the moment.’
‘You’re doing better than most people would in your circumstances. I’ll give you a call later. Let me know if you make any kind of progress.’
‘I will.’
‘And give Emily a great big hug for me. She promised to show me her sheep impression next time I saw her.’
‘Oh, she’s been practicing hard.’
‘To be that age again. When your whole world revolves around how well you can stay perfectly still in ridiculous costume and baa at the same time as everyone else.’
‘Please don’t undermine my niece’s acting debut,’ Kayleigh laughed, relieved to end the conversation on a lighter note. ‘I’ll talk to you later.’
As she hung up the phone, the doorbell tinkled. Somehow, the two of them had passed twenty minutes discussing the nightmare that was Jo Pearmain, health and safety destroyer of happiness. The afternoon rush would begin in earnest now, starting with the parents of young children coming back from school and then building up until it was time to close. She was glad of the distraction. Despite her promises to Rob, she didn’t have the emotional strength to begin ringing contractors only to be rejected again. No, it was better to focus on what she was good at and count down the time until Emily came back from school, bringing her ever-present joy with her.
CHAPTER SIX
Jo swallowed, determined to get her racing heart under control before she took another step. Across the road, the lights of Johnson’s Bookstore were soft and inviting, but she knew the woman who waited inside was probably anything but. To everyone else maybe, but not to her.
For a second, she contemplated simply turning around and walking away. After all, she had no good reason to be there. It was just a normal Saturday before Christmas and her only connection to the store was through work. She should have listened to Maddy when she had warned her to leave it alone. She certainly shouldn’t have allowed herself to continue stalking Kayleigh Johnson online, refining her search words and social media platforms until she built up an image of the woman that confirmed what Maddy had told her from the start: out of her league.
This was a woman who had sacrificed her own life to bring up her dead sister’s child. Alone. Jo didn’t think it was possible to do anything nobler. But then Kayleigh had to go and be the good citizen of the village and devote her time and energy to raising money for charity. She made Jo feel like she had wasted her entire adult life doing nothing but partying and having terrible — but fun — relationships.
Now she had to grow up herself, of course, but that didn’t seem to be quite the same.
So, in the space of forty-eight hours, she had developed enough of a crush on the woman that she had found herself volunteering to go into town for her father on her day off. His request had been a small one and certainly one that could have waited for another day, but she had seized on the opportunity so quickly he had looked at her with undisguised suspicion. Only the desperate would try to negotiate the sparse parking at this time of year. A fact which she had been reminded of only a few minutes earlier when she had nearly collided with an old woman who reversed out of her parking space with blind obliviousness.
She swallowed again. Her feet were frozen to the spot. When she had visited the first time, she hadn’t really paid that much attention to the front of the store. It had been nearly dark and the weather had been miserable. Her only goal had been to get in and get out again as quickly as possible so she could be done for the day. This time, there was no rush. She could see the outside of the store and feel the tug of childhood nostalgia. She did her shopping online these days when it came to buying any kind of gift. Half the price and twenty times the convenience. For the first time, she felt a pang of guilt at the true cost of that. The shops on the high street were aimed at tourists now, not locals. They weren’t really self-sustaining businesses in the traditional sense any more. It must be a struggle to survive.
As she forced her feet to move, her body was crossing the street before she was truly ready for her brain to catch up. As she pushed back the door and heard the soft tinkling bell above her, she realised that Kayleigh might not actually work in the store at weekends. She had a child to look after and everyone deserved to have some days off. Jo wasn’t sure if she felt disappointed or relieved at the prospect. She closed the door behind her, determined to keep as much of the store heat in as she could.
Music was playing softly in the background. Traditional carols, unobtrusive. The soft choir voices were soothing, nothing like the Christmas number ones of the past thirty years with their raucous, pop and rock beats. No, the music was in keeping with the rest of the bookstore. It was a perfect choice.
Her eyes scanned the shelves. She felt a smile begin to pull on her lips at the sight of the books, nestled in amongst tinsel and fairy lights. The mix of old and new created a sense of mystery and she almost reached out, expecting to find a magical book that would somehow take her to another world. It was like childhood romance and fantasy, kept alive between these four walls.
Jo’s eyes moved to the back of the store and the sense of wonder cracked inside. The Christmas tree, replete with oversized and mismatched decorations, was set against the darkness. A hazardous no go area, stood apart from everything else. At least Kayleigh had followed her instructions. It had never crossed her mind that she might simply ignore her and go on with things in the hope she wouldn’t get caught out. It was, in that moment, a relief. Jo wasn’t sure if she would have the strength to do the right thing and confront her. More likely, she would simply retrace her steps and make a hasty retreat. Plausible deniability would have to take precedence over her desire to see Kayleigh again.
Speaking of…
Jo looked around the room, until a pair of steely eyes behind the
cash register locked with hers. Had Kayleigh been watching her all this time? Jo cringed. Had she been wearing the expression of amazement on her face as clearly as she had felt it inside? If so, she must have looked anything but a sophisticated charmer and more like a child. That had not been her intention.
There was a moment of terrible indecision. Should she acknowledge the fact she had been spotted and walk over, or should she continue to peruse the shelves as if they had never met before and she had every right to be in the store? Panic flared as the seconds ticked by, the carols fading into the background as the blood rushed in her ears instead. Breathe, she reminded herself. Just act casual. What’s the worst she can do? Throw you out on your ear?
Yes.
Jo took a step towards the counter, making her way past a display announcing that the latest reality TV star had confessed all in his new book. She had no idea what secret fishing confessions would be, but they sure as hell didn’t sound that interesting to her. ‘Um, hi,’ she said when she was a few feet away from Kayleigh. It seemed like a safe enough distance.
‘What do you want?’ Ouch. So much for the polite hello and forgiveness she had hoped for. Not that she had really believed it would happen, but it was one of the things she had allowed herself to fantasise about in the many times she had practiced this moment in her mind.
‘A book?’ Her brain supplied the obvious, if not quite truthful, answer.
‘Then you’ve come to the right place. Which one?’
‘Um…’ For some reason, Jo hadn’t thought the reply through to the end of the obvious line of enquiry. She looked around the store, trying to remember anything at all. Her eyes caught sight of a Children’s book display, bright colours standing aloft in cotton wool snow. It tugged on a memory. ‘The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.’
‘That’s one of my favourites!’ An excited disembodied voice rose up from behind the counter. Jo saw Kayleigh visibly flinch as a child’s head appeared. ‘Aunty Webby has read it to me loads of times.’
‘Aunty Webby?’ Jo was confused until she saw Kayleigh point at herself, obviously uncomfortable at the revelation. Jo could understand why. It did remove the fearsomeness somewhat. ‘Oh right.’
‘We have several copies. In the children’s section. Obviously.’
‘Obviously.’
‘Have you read the other ones?’ Emily asked, oblivious to the staring match taking place between this new customer and her aunt.
‘Not for a long time. A very long time.’
‘I’m not allowed to read some of the other ones yet. Aunty Webby says they get too scary.’
‘I think she’s probably right.’ Jo gave her a smile. At least she should get some bonus points for backing Kayleigh up on this one. The frosty exterior failed to melt. Not anywhere near enough points yet, it would appear.
‘This is my niece, Emily.’ Kayleigh reached down and placed a protective hand on the child’s head. ‘I’d love to let her talk to you some more, but I’m worried if she gives you too much information about our current stock, you’ll try to do me for child labour violations as well as everything else.’
If there was any humour to her words, it failed to come through. Jo felt the stab of guilt and sorrow pierce her stomach. It would never matter what she did or said. Kayleigh would always blame her for being the one to make her life even more difficult than it already was. She wanted to explain, but reminded herself that actually, she was here on her day off. She was nothing more than a customer. Instead, her mouth flapped up and down, waiting for a response that didn’t come out.
Emily, oblivious to both her aunt’s words and the anger behind them, came out from behind the counter. ‘I know where it is. Do you want me to show you? I sometimes get to look at the books if I am very, very careful with them.’
‘I think you should probably check with—’ Jo was cut off by Emily walking round the side of the counter and setting off anyway. Her eyes snapped down reflexively to the limp, the false leg apparent to anyone who knew. She looked back up at Kayleigh. Those eyes had become even colder, a challenge for her to say anything. Anything at all. Jo knew it wouldn’t take much to make her snap and then there would be hell to pay. For all of them.
A small hand slipped into hers, giving a quick tug in the direction of the children’s section. Jo followed, unable to do anything else. She gave a backward glance to Kayleigh who, to her credit, said nothing, despite looking as uncomfortable about the situation as she was. Emily chatted on completely without awareness of the drama she was creating in the lives of the adults. ‘Here they are,’ she declared, pointing at the shelves in front of her.
‘Thank you very much for your help. You make a very good shopkeeper.’
‘Sometimes I’m allowed to help clean the shelves.’
‘Maybe I need to talk to your aunt about those child labour laws after all,’ murmured Jo.
‘I’m only allowed to read some of the books though and I always have to ask first.’ It was a solemn declaration of her trustworthiness. ‘I’m not allowed to look at the grown-up books.’
‘That’s a very good idea. They’re not as fun as these anyway.’
‘Do you like grown-up books?’ Emily gave her a huge grin. Jo mentally catalogued her current kindle collection. Yes, most of them would certainly fall into the category of books for adults. She cleared her throat, paranoid that for some reason, Kayleigh would be able to read her mind.
‘Yes. I like grown-up books too.’
‘Maybe when I’m seven I can read some of the other ones.’
‘I think seven might still be too young for grown-up books. How old are you now?’
‘Six.’
‘I see. Perhaps you should stick to letting your aunt read these kinds of books to you for a little while longer?’
‘I suppose.’ Emily looked at her expectantly and Jo realised that she hadn’t actually picked a book up yet. She saw the one she wanted and plucked a copy out from where it was tightly packed with the others in the series. ‘You need to pay for that now.’
‘Don’t worry, I have every intention of paying for it. I wouldn’t want to make your aunt cross with me, would I?’ Jo made sure she said it just loud enough that Kayleigh would be guaranteed to hear. She had hoped it would make the other woman crack even the tiniest smile, but the expression remained as stony as ever.
‘She doesn’t get cross very often. Only sometimes when I don’t want to do things and she says I have to.’
‘You should always do what your aunt says. She probably knows what’s best.’
‘She is very nice,’ Emily confirmed in a confidential whisper. She began to walk back to the counter and Jo obediently followed.
‘Did you find everything you were looking for?’ The crisp tone could cut the atmosphere in the room quicker than any knife. Brusque, to the point — it was more like being told off by your teacher than purchasing something from a willing vendor.
‘Yes, thank you.’ Jo placed the book on the counter and pulled out her credit card. It was clear that however she thought this moment might go, whatever hopes she had for reconciliation, she was completely wrong. Now she had a book she had no idea what to do with and another kick in the guts to make herself feel even worse. To top it off, Emily was still beaming at her like the two of them were new best friends.
‘That’s £6.99 please.’
‘Sure.’ Jo slid her card into the machine and waited for the ageing technology to connect. She leaned in and lowered her voice. ‘Look, I’m really sorry.’
‘The payment will go through shortly. Sometimes it takes a while to connect.’
‘I mean it. I’m really sorry for…’ her eyes slid to the dark area at the back of the store. The tree a giant soldier lost in a no man’s land.
‘The internet connection can be terrible at this time of year. Every shop in the village is having to process card payments.’
‘Please. Just say you believe me when I say that I didn’t mean it.�
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‘I don’t know who you are or why you are here. But don’t try and push this back onto me.’ The sudden change from store owner to a woman who was apparently about to kill her happened so quickly Jo barely had chance to blink. ‘If you feel bad, then you should. But you have to deal with it.’
‘I do feel bad. I want you to know that. I came in to see if you’d had any luck getting things sorted. I can see that you’ve done some of the things I suggested already. That’s good, right?’
‘You think that’s good? I’ve made one or two minor changes that have done little else other than to make everyone aware that there is some kind of problem with the display this year. Sure, they were things you told me I had to do, but do you see any lights on there? Do you? No? That’s because it’s impossible to get an electrician to a job that big at this time of year unless you are going to make it worth his while. It doesn’t take a genius to work that out. But you are clearly as dim as you are mean.’
‘Hold on a minute, that’s a bit unfair.’ Jo was thrown off her defence by the card reader finally connecting and asking her to enter her PIN number. She stabbed at the keypad, pressing the first button twice and having to cancel it. She couldn’t do that as well as try and protect herself from Kayleigh’s barbs.
‘I don’t care whether or not it is fair. You have ruined Christmas for us and then you have the audacity to come in here and act like nothing has happened. Like we’re old friends or something. We’re not and we never will be. You have no idea what you’ve done.’
‘I had no choice.’
‘I don’t care whether you think that or not. You obviously think you did something wrong otherwise you wouldn’t be in here now. So take your book and get the hell out.’ The careful control gave way and for the last sentence, Kayleigh’s voice rose from a whisper to a shout. Jo could feel all the eyes in the room turn to them. Most people were browsing, more to get out of the chaos of the other shops than with any intent to purchase a book. Now they had an added bit of drama to throw to the mix as well.