by C. K. Martin
‘She seems nice.’
‘What did you expect?’
‘I don’t know. I thought Jo seemed very nice when I met her last night, but everything you said about her painted a very different picture. So, if you were right and I was wrong, then there was every chance her friends would be as terrible as she was.’
‘Shhh, she might hear you.’
‘Over the noise she’s making? I doubt it.’
‘Besides, just because she’s nice, doesn’t automatically mean that I’ve changed my opinion on Jo.’
‘No?’ He looked at her, and she could see it was with genuine surprise.
‘We wouldn’t be in this mess at all if it wasn’t for her.’ She gave a meaningful look at the calculator before telling her current customer the price. She double checked it again. It was right, but this was far too hard to do with the distraction Rob provided. She looked up. The queue was now nearly ten people deep and that wasn’t a good thing.
‘I think you wouldn’t be in this mess if someone else hadn’t tried to take a shortcut,’ he continued, oblivious to her distress. He took a casual sip of coffee and looked around.
‘Instead of arguing with me about how we got here, what about helping me out?’
‘Of course. Why didn’t you say something?’ He shrugged off his coat and placed it on the shelf behind the counter. He took a few extra seconds to make sure he had folded it correctly. Kayleigh tried not to hit him.
‘I need you to start serving.’
‘The customers?’
‘Yes, the customers.’
‘But the till isn’t working.’
‘Thanks for pointing that out, Einstein. Just calculate the total price of the books, offer a handwritten receipt and then take the money and give the change. My Saturday girl could do it, so surely someone who deals with millions of pounds in loans each day should be able to handle it?’
‘My mental arithmetic is terrible.’
‘Use a calculator you idiot.’ She had to stop herself from laughing at the look of horror on his face. Clearly when he had offered to help, the actual prospect of what that might include hadn’t crossed his mind.
After a few customers, he was soon getting the hang of things. Kayleigh’s irritation and amusement both died down as they moved in rhythm together, getting through the queue as fast as they could. Rob was good at making them feel like they were part of a huge, fun experience, rather than a deeply inefficient one. Even the most impatient of people were put at ease by his jokes and relaxed personality.
The only problem was that they still couldn’t move fast enough. With half the shop out of bounds, it only took a simple query to throw the whole routine out. Kayleigh knew her inventory well, more so than most shop owners would. She had loved books since she was a child. The store was more than a business, it was part of her life and she loved everything that was in there. Even books that weren’t to her taste were part of a world she adored. So when people wanted to know if she had a specific thing in stock, it was quite easy to tell them yes or no. The problem came when the answer was yes and the book wasn’t kept anywhere near the front of the store. If it was in the closed off area, it meant Kayleigh had to leave the counter and go to get it herself. It was the only way.
More than that, adding up the cost of the books and working out the change was the most time-consuming part. She understood the psychology of not using whole pounds to make customers feel like they were getting some kind of bargain, but it was working against her today. The calculations went both ways: the book costs themselves and the change given afterwards.
In a lightning bolt of inspiration, she grabbed a piece of paper and some pens from the drawer and scribbled out 3 for £15. She would take a minor hit on the profit margin, but the time she would save in calculating the cost would be worth it to stop the queues forming and making her feel panicked.
‘What are you doing?’ asked Rob.
‘Making your life a thousand times easier for the day,’ she replied, writing the message out again on another piece of paper. Her eyes scanned the store, looking at the displays that were still standing and trying to work out where she could get away with using the technique. She was relieved to see that it was most of them.
‘But how will I know?’ he asked with a petulant pout.
‘Ask each customer if they’re part of the offer. If they’ve done it, then they’ll know because they’ll have spent ages agonising over which book they don’t really want but makes it feel worth their while,’ she whispered. ‘Then ask me. I’ll know which ones are included and which ones aren’t. If anyone tries to fleece the system, I’ll deal with them.’
‘Sounds dodgy to me, but as long as you’re going to handle the troublemakers, then who am I to argue?’
‘Exactly. Besides, most of the time, it will just mean we’ll be dealing with notes rather than pennies. And you know what? If it doesn’t work, then I take the signs down and we carry on as normal. Shop keeper’s prerogative.’
‘Oooh, listen to you, Miss Business Owner. I wish I got to make all the decisions where I work.’
‘Rob, there is a difference between making all the decisions and being a dictator. I know which one you’d end up being. Now get back to serving. Less talking to me, more talking to the customers.’
A few hours later, the signs were still firmly in place. The idea had worked, with only one customer trying to get away with something a bit naughty. Kayleigh had been firm but fair, keeping a smile on her face the whole time. Given the choice of paying full price for the books or leaving them behind, they had finally paid up. It had been uncomfortable, but the time saved with other people more than made up for it.
The lunchtime rush over, things settled down into a slight lull once 2:30 arrived. Despite the hard time she was giving Rob, she was grateful he had been there to help her through the worst of it. She had been optimistic at the beginning of the day that she would be able to get things done, but the reality had turned out to be quite different. Without him, she would have gone under. Now, they had things under control enough that she was even able to send him out on a lunch run for more drinks and some sandwiches. As she munched happily on ham and cheese, she tried to enjoy the way things had turned out. It had been a difficult day, but at the same time, she’d had more fun than she’d had in ages. Doing things differently had challenged her in new ways. It had been a long time since she had felt that from anything.
It was exhausting, but it was good.
‘So, are you ready to admit that she might not be that bad after all?’ Rob asked, bringing her back to the real world.
‘Who?’ Kayleigh tried to feign innocence but knew it wouldn’t work. Rob had known her for too long to let her get away with that kind of thing. The best she could hope for was to buy herself a little extra time before she had to answer his question.
‘Jo. You know who I mean. I don’t think you could have found anyone who would work this hard for you. She’s obviously pulled in a favour with Maddy.’
‘Perhaps Maddy is her girlfriend? I know what you’re trying to do here Rob, and it won’t work. I’m not going to get myself tied up in knots because you think there’s something more to this than there is. I’m not letting you put those kind of ideas into my head. I haven’t changed my position. She got us into this mess. That’s all I care about.’
‘At some point, you’re actually going to have to stop saying that and face up to the truth.’
‘I know. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to.’
‘I know what you’re afraid of.’
‘I’m not afraid of anything.’ She was emphatic on that point and most days it felt that way. She had, after all, lived through some truly terrible times. She had been to hell and back and come out fighting. Emily had come out of it too and now the two of them lived each day as if they could handle anything the world decided to throw at them.
When he didn’t reply, didn’t call her out on the statement, she didn�
�t prod him. She knew what he meant. Her world was a carefully constructed one, where she made the store and Emily her two priorities in life and she was more than happy with that. She worked hard and she was happy. She didn’t need someone else to make her feel whole. She wasn’t that kind of person. Sure, sometimes there were nights when she couldn’t help but think about how long it had been since she had last been with someone, but that was to be expected. It was biological. It was human. It was nothing more than that.
But, in some ways, Rob was right. Another world, another time and place, things might have been different. When Jo had walked through the door, before Kayleigh had discovered who she really was, something had drawn her to the other woman. Even on the surface, before she spoke, there was something about her that Kayleigh had felt spark inside her. Then everything had gone wrong. Fast. But she couldn’t deny to herself that the first little rush had been there. Was that the true feeling she should trust. Much as she hated that Rob might be right, she had been blinded to Jo as a person simply because of the thing she had done.
Last night, the woman she had seen pushing her father in his wheelchair had been a totally different person to the demon she had built up in her own head. Perhaps it was because they were outside the store, away from the constant reminder of how things had been nearly derailed this year. Without that to influence her, Jo had seemed warm and engaging again. Emily clearly didn’t hate her either. Whilst it was never the done thing to rely on a six-year-old to be a good judge of character — especially given the horrors that they loved on the television these days — Emily was a good kid. She was naturally given to being upbeat, but Kayleigh had seen plenty of instances over the years where she had completely shut down on someone. They had seen a long line of consultants, therapists and overly sympathetic people in their journey together, and not all of them had received the instant thumbs up.
The more persistent tinkling of the bell above the door let her know that passing traffic was picking up again. She polished off the rest of her sandwich, glad of the excuse to take her mind off Jo and back onto the work. When she was serving customers, when she was ringing people to tell them that Christmas was back on, she was able to feel normal, more like her old self. She could forget there might be something under the surface she simply wasn’t ready yet to face.
At 4:45, she dared to take a glance at Maddy. She looked dishevelled, her dark clothing covered in dust. Her hair flopped in her eyes and she looked exhausted as she pushed it out of the way. When Rob had been to buy them lunch, she’d only take the time away from the job to wolf the sandwich down. As soon as the last crust was popped into her mouth, the gloves went back on and she started again. As the hours had ticked by, Kayleigh had really begun to appreciate the level of effort she was having to put in. At times, she had been tempted to send Rob over to help, but it was never quiet enough for her to be able to manage without him. Plus, she had a sneaking suspicion that his lack of even basic handyman skills would have driven Maddy insane within minutes.
Things over that side of the store looked a little less chaotic than they had done a few hours before. Although books were still scattered all over the floor rather than lined up on shelves, the carpet was back in place. Two of the bookcases had been moved back to the wall they had come from and had been screwed back in place. The electricity had only gone back on briefly to test that everything was okay, some device emitting a deafening, high pitched scream which Kayleigh took to mean electricity was flowing to the sockets again. Just as quickly, it had been shut off, plunging them into semi darkness once again.
The first of the lanterns had given up just after four. It was at that moment Kayleigh had decided they would stay open only until five, rather than six. It would be yet another thing to hit on her profits, but she was prepared to lose them. Her fingers were sore and her body felt tired — physically exhausted — in a way it hadn’t for years. Besides, she didn’t want to be dealing with customers and failing light if Jo turned up and decided that she wasn’t willing to give her a pass after all. With the sound of tools still being used, there was a good chance that Maddy’s ongoing work meant they were not as close to being done as she desperately needed to believe they were.
She called out again to everyone in the shop, letting them know it would be shutting early so to make their way to the till with their purchases. The 3 for £15 idea had actually worked very much in her favour, with people taking advantage of it so much she had been forced to restock twice on some of the displays. Behind her on the floor sat Emily, who had been thoroughly enchanted with the lack of modern conveniences when she came in from school.
At two minutes to five, she was down to the last few customers. Her voice was hoarse with calling out to anyone new walking through the door, her voice full of apology but firm as she told them they were now closed. Some complained, some rolled their eyes in annoyance, others just turned on their heels and went back out the way they came. As the noise of the bell went again, she took a deep breath and began ‘Sorry, we’re—’ She stopped when she realised who had walked through the door. Jo gave her a small smile and a wave. Another one of the lanterns, already giving off nothing more than a dim light, gave up.
Kayleigh tried to ignore her stomach doing an unexpected back flip. ‘That’s £15 then please,’ she said to the customer in front of her, embarrassed when her voice turned into a little squeak. The woman looked at her, taken aback, but handed over her money. ‘Would you like a receipt? I’ll have to write it out by hand.’ Kayleigh spoke slowly this time, in calm and deliberate tones, in an attempt to redeem herself. The woman shook her head no and Kayleigh almost kissed her with relief.
When she’d bagged up the final customer’s purchase, she followed her to the door, happy to be able to lock it behind her. They were done for the day. If nothing else, no matter what happened next, she had made it through the hardest day of trading she had ever experienced in her life. She leaned back against the hard wood. She would need to dig deep to find the mental energy to deal with the next twenty minutes.
The lights went on.
They were no brighter than on any other day, but after hours spent in semi-darkness, she found herself squinting. She blinked, allowing her eyes to adjust before she looked over towards the back of the room. There, like a sign, the Christmas tree glowed brightly, the lights above it turned on, and the fairy lights giving their white and red twinkle from in amongst the branches. Through the darkest of times, there was her beacon of hope, alight once more.
‘It’s on,’ laughed Emily from behind the counter. To see her little face light up with such innocent joy made everything she had suffered through worth it.
Kayleigh looked towards the back of the store. Jo and Maddy were caught up in discussion. Despite the casual clothes, Jo was here on business. The pieces of paper the two of them were looking at were official documents. She needed to remember that. There was nothing personal about this visit.
It was just business.
She was grateful Rob wasn’t here. He would be able to read her mind as she looked across the store. She swallowed, the warmth in her belly growing as Jo shrugged out of her jacket, throwing it casually over a shoulder-height bookcase that would soon need to be restocked. She looked fantastic in her jeans and winter jumper, tight in all the right places. Kayleigh caught her thoughts a moment too late. She hadn’t thought about anyone in that way for years.
She lifted her line of sight from the jeans upwards and saw that whatever the two of them were talking about, it looked more like a disagreement than a friendly conversation. Kayleigh’s heart sank. Yes, there was definite finger jabbing going on and one piece of paper in particular seemed to be bearing the brunt of it. The prospect of having to call all those people again and tell them that actually, she had been completely wrong, the charity event wouldn’t be going ahead again after all, filled her with embarrassment. It was more than just a personal shame; she wouldn’t be able to expect people to take it seriously
next year. What had started out as a health and safety violation could be the nail in the coffin of the charity event forever.
Emily was also looking in their direction with her head tilted in curiosity. Her fascination with the lights had quickly given way to uncertainty about the adults. Kayleigh watched as she came out from behind the counter to get a better view. Maddy was standing with her hands on her hips. There was a definite eye roll too. Whatever Jo was complaining about, the two of them couldn’t agree on.
Kayleigh decided she couldn’t put off getting involved any longer. After everything that had happened before, she didn’t know if it would even help if she joined in the conversation. So far, she had been spectacularly bad at saying the right thing — or even a nice thing — when it came to Jo. If she’d spent the day putting herself through hell for nothing, then she knew that it would be a struggle to control her temper. As she walked towards the back of the shop, Emily grabbed her hand as she came past the till. Feeling the tiny warmth in hers gave her some reassurance, and the two of them carried on to face whatever may be.
‘Is everything alright ladies? I see we have light and power.’ She smiled what she hoped was her nicest, friendliest smile. Years of working with customers had given her some ideas about conflict management after all.
‘Fine,’ said Maddy.
‘We’re getting there,’ said Jo, then shot a censorious look at her friend. ‘Can you give us a few minutes please? There’s a tiny wrinkle we just need to iron out.’
‘Oh, okay. Sure.’ Kayleigh backed away. The two of them knew each other well enough to deal with it themselves. She took hope from the word tiny. Wrinkles that were tiny were surmountable, surely?
After another five minutes, the two of them seemed to give up debating. Maddy threw her hands up to the ceiling and walked away. Jo disappeared behind the Christmas tree.