Return of the Dwarf King

by Charley Case

  Mila leaned in and looked closer, but after a second, she shook her head. “What are you talking about?”

  Finn turned the picture so they could both see it and pointed at Jeff’s face. “You don’t see his tusks?”

  “Tusks?” Mila threw her hands up. “Now you’re just making shit up.”

  Finn was a little disappointed but not really surprised. “I just figured if you were able to see my tattoos, you have to have a little magic active, but maybe not.”

  He opened the back of the frame and took the picture out. On the back in blue pen was written, Jeff and Mila, Mexico, Mayan dig site 34.

  “Can I hang onto this? Might need it to show some people, if I can ever find a market on this planet.”

  “On this planet?” Mila blinked slowly. “Okay. Time for that drink. Let’s go. No talking in the car. I need to process the last hour of my life.”

  Chapter Eight

  Finn rode quietly in the passenger seat as they drove for about ten minutes, winding through a city that frankly didn’t make a whole lot of sense to him. How could the entire Peabrain population of Earth forget they had magic? He was sure they had forgotten, not lost the power. He could see the magical auras from the corner of his eyes, surrounding everyone they passed.

  He checked Mila several times, glancing her way without ever actually looking at her, and sure enough, she had a glow. It didn’t make sense. She had seen his tattoos, so he knew she could at least access the power, even if not consciously.

  Finn rested his chin on his thumb, his elbow on the door’s armrest, and watched a city completely built and maintained with technology. Not a single bit of magic was on display, and frankly, he was finding it a bit disturbing.

  Penny sat on his knee, vibrating with caffeinated energy, staring out the windshield, snapping her head toward any movement she saw. Finn would be worried, but he had seen her much worse off. Like the one time they had accidentally made soup with the mushrooms he had stolen from the evil priests of Grothan. Turned out the visions were not from divine visitation, but of a more fungal nature. Luckily, his dwarven constitution required a whole lot to be overridden; he had eaten four bowls of the stuff, and only felt a slight buzz…to his mild disappointment.

  Finn glanced at Mila, who had both hands on the wheel, and was staring straight ahead. She didn’t seem upset, per se, but she wasn’t exactly smiling either. He hoped she wouldn’t just leave them to their own devices. He was sure that fate was wielding her influence like a bull in a china shop.

  That thought gave him comfort that everything would work out. Things usually did, he found, when he let them play out.

  Finn took the opportunity to really look at the woman who had decided to help instead of leaving him in the parking lot of a Kum & Go.

  She was pretty. Probably the prettiest woman he had ever seen in real life. She was short but had an air about her he liked that made her seem larger than life. Her long black hair and olive skin complemented each other well, especially against the red leather of her jacket. She was obviously adventurous if the smile on her face in the photo of her and Jeff was any indication, and she wasn't someone who ran from adversity. Her pulling out a bat and shoving it in his face was a pretty good sign of that.

  She was smart, too. He had seen a certificate on her office wall saying she held a Ph.D. in anthropology, something he assumed was a high honor if the paper was displayed for all to see. He liked smart. It was the reason he and Penny got along so well. Penny and Mila were probably equal when it came to brains, though he bet that neither one of them would admit it to the other.

  There was a problem Finn had come across in his years of travel when it came to smart people. They tended to not believe the unbelievable. They didn’t like to be wrong, so they rejected anything that didn’t fit into their worldview. It was a flaw in Finn’s eyes.

  Believing the unbelievable was how he had gotten so far in life, it was how he had gone and found Penny, and why he never stopped looking for Earth. Finn knew he was smart as well, but his smarts were of a much more specific nature.

  He was a dwarf. He was taught to be fair and just at all costs. Sometimes, the only way to be fair and just was to kill a bunch of people, so every dwarf was taught the art of war from a very young age. In battle, Finn was a genius.

  But this woman beside him broke the norm over her knee—at least, so far, she had. He couldn’t imagine what was going through her mind. He had told her magic was real, then showed her some, and instead of running for the hills like the store clerk had earlier, she seemed to be absorbing it, or at least trying to reason it out.

  “Can I ask you something?” Mila said, not taking her eyes off the road.

  “Anything.” Finn smiled, smoothing a stray beard hair down.

  She licked her lips, then set her jaw. “Are you from another planet?”

  Penny’s head jerked over her wing as she stared daggers at him. He ignored her.

  “Technically, everyone on Earth is from another planet. I mean, if you want to get really technical, this isn’t even a planet.”

  They rode in silence as she took a turn on a red light and pulled up to the mouth of an alley.

  “Get out.”

  Finn opened his mouth to protest, but she had every right to kick him out. He really needed to remember that these people had no idea that they were not alone in the universe.

  His jaw clicked shut, and he opened the door. He was about to say something else, but stopped himself and climbed out.

  The Hellcat growled and Mila turned down the alley, disappearing between the buildings. Finn wanted to run after her but stood his ground.

  Penny sat on the ground, pointedly not looking at him, her jaw flexed as she clenched her teeth.

  “What? I’m not going to lie to her.” Finn crossed his arms, his stubborn nature rearing up. “She deserves to know the truth.”

  “Swii? Chir chee!” Penny flapped her wings and was suddenly hovering in his face, her pointer talon nearly poking him in the nose. “Chi squee! Griit shry?”

  “Okay, ‘deserves’ might not be the right word, but she’s smart. She would have seen through us eventually. I didn’t want to lie to her.” He waved his hand in front of his face to bat away her talon. “She’s not an asset we needed, necessarily. This is the goal.” He spread his hands, encompassing everything they could see. “Earth! We found it. This was the whole goal. Now you’re pissed that I told a Peabrain what she should already know?”

  Penny frowned but didn’t argue. She instead landed on his shoulder and sagged in defeat. Finn turned and started slowly walking down the street.

  “The bar is this way, big guy.”

  Mila’s voice broke through his sudden depression like a light in a dark room.

  He spun and saw she was standing on the corner to the alley, pointing in the opposite direction.

  “I thought you were done with us?” Finn asked, confused.

  “No, I needed to park the car, and there wouldn’t have been enough room for you to get out because I needed to park close to the wall so my roommate can fit her car in as well.” She raised an eyebrow. “You thought I would just kick you two out in the middle of a strange city? Who do you think I am?”

  Finn walked up and fell in beside her as she started down the sidewalk. “I just figured the talk of not being from here and all was just a bit too much.”

  “I’m not going to lie. That seems a bit far-fetched, but I told you back at the Kum & Go that I was taking option three. I don’t know why, but I believe you.”

  They rounded the corner and headed down 21st Street.

  “Besides, the whole magical axe—”

  “Fragar.”

  “Fragar was a pretty good show. I kinda want to see a little more before the ride is over. It’s a little like fate wants us to work together.”

  Finn smiled and glanced at Penny, whose shoulders once again dropped in defeat.

  “How so?” Finn prompted.

>   “I study ancient artifacts for a living. In all the years I’ve cataloged things or written theories on culture or dug objects up, I’ve seen things that didn’t make a whole lot of sense.” She turned them left down Market Street. “Sometimes we might find thirty artifacts in one spot, and twenty-nine of them are nothing but rusted-out shells, but the thirtieth is in nearly mint condition. Or we find buildings that are thousands of years too old to exist in the current theories of human development. Just strange things that I had to write off as some sort of anomaly. Until I met you two. If what you’re saying is true, then that actually fits with my worldview, in a way.”

  They walked in silence, turning right on 20th, then left on Blake. Finn was about to say more when Mila pointed to a nondescript, one-story, brick building with the word “Refinery” in raised lettering on the side.

  “Here we are.” She pulled the door open and held it for them. “Uh, Penny, you might want to keep a low profile. It’s a Wednesday and late, so it’s probably pretty empty, but pets aren’t allowed inside. Not saying you’re a pet, but they’ll see it that way.”

  Penny huffed two smoke rings, but crawled down into Finn’s jacket and around his torso, hiding. Finn had a mesh, hammock-like bag attached to his adventuring harness for just this reason. He felt her settle into the bag just above Fragar.

  “That was easier than I thought it was going to be.” Mila was a little stunned.

  “It’s pretty normal for people to react badly at the sight of a Faerie Dragon. We have a system.”

  “Chii.” Penny’s voice was muffled, but the sass was clear.

  “After you.” Finn held the door, and let Mila take the lead.

  The dark bar was fairly narrow and long, with a bar down the right side, and tables and chairs on the left. Several TVs were on the walls, but all of them had the volume down, and rock music played at a moderate level, giving the place an easygoing feeling without being too loud to have a conversation. The place was half neighborhood bar and half speakeasy.

  About ten people were in the whole place, including the bored-looking bartender. He leaned against the counter, reading a paperback, and drinking a beer. He wore a short-billed cap, his curly, brown hair sticking out the side. A black vest covered a white button-up shirt, giving him a dapper look.

  Mila walked up to the bar, and the guy brightened up.

  “Oi, good ta see ye, lass.”

  The bartender’s accent reminded Finn of home, but was slightly harsher. He put the book and beer down and came over to greet Mila.

  “Hey, Danny. How’s it going tonight?” Mila was all smiles as she shook his hand.

  “Good, fer a Wednesday. Danica’s over in de carner if yer lookin’ for ‘er,” he said, wiping his hands on a bar towel and flipping it onto his shoulder.

  “Shit. I thought she had to work tomorrow.”

  Mila looked over her shoulder at a tall blonde woman sitting at a corner high-top table, talking with three good-looking men. They seemed to be completely fascinated by her.

  “Danica?” Finn asked, following her gaze.

  He saw a table in the corner where a blonde elf woman and three Peabrains were chatting each other up.

  Finn raised an eyebrow.

  “My roommate. She’s the gorgeous blonde in the corner. I thought she was at home. It’s fine, we can just take a booth. I’ll talk to her later.”

  “Who’s this big gob whicha, den?” Danny asked, eyeing Finn.

  “Oh, this is my…friend, Finn. He’s new in town.” Mila only hesitated a second before saying “friend.”

  “Finn? Dat’s a good Scottish name if I air herd one. Ye from the homeland by chance?” he asked, reaching over the bar and shaking Finn’s hand.

  “Afraid not.” Finn smiled. “Canada.”

  “Too bad. Thought I might’nt be alone ‘ere fer a minute.” He smacked his hands together and rubbed them together vigorously. “What can ol’ Danny get ye?”

  “G &T for me,” Mila said, looking to Finn.

  “Whiskey. Actually, I’ll take two of them.”

  “Ye want a double?” Danny clarified, starting on the gin and tonic.

  “No, two glasses, if you don’t mind.” Finn chuckled, hoping that would be enough.

  “Aye. I kin do that,” he said without batting an eye. He slid Mila’s drink to her and poured two whiskeys, handing them to Finn.

  A talon in his back made Finn jump slightly. “Do you have any snacks?”

  Danny pointed to a bowl of peanuts. Finn nodded his thanks and, holding the two whiskeys in one hand, grabbed the bowl. He gave Danny a half salute with the bowl, and Danny nodded, picking his paperback up and leaning against the counter again.

  Mila led them to a booth against the far wall and slid in. Finn followed on the opposite side, putting the peanuts against the wall, along with one of the whiskeys.

  “Okay, you can come out, but keep it flame-free.” Finn held his leather jacket open.

  Penny shot out and practically dove into the bowl, covering herself in nuts and loudly crunching.

  “Don’t forget your whiskey. You need to bring it down about twelve notches.”

  “I guess I don’t want any nuts anyway.” Mila made a disgusted face, watching Penny practically swimming in the snack bowl.

  Penny stopped rolling, and her head popped out. She stared at Mila for a second before saying, “Spi” in a quiet voice. Then the head sank back in, and she went back to eating.

  “She said ‘sorry,’” Finn translated.

  “It’s fine.” Mila took a sip. “Okay, let me have it. I want the whole story. In for a penny, in for a pound.”

  “What does Penny have to do with pounds?” Finn raised an eyebrow, confused.

  “No, it’s an expression. It means I’m all in, so lay it on me. From the beginning.”

  Finn took a sip of whiskey and did as she asked.

  Chapter Nine

  Finn told her everything. He started with being the third son of the king, and how he went out to find his own fortunes when the family could find no use for him beyond window dressing for the court. He told of a few adventures where he had nearly died due to his rash actions. He moved on from there and relayed how he had rescued Penny from a cult that was intent on sacrificing her to their dark god, and how that had led them to a deal of mutual benefit. He had agreed to help Penny find a hoard so that she could finally lay her eggs and hopefully begin the long process of restoring her race’s dwindling numbers.

  That was when he realized how good she was at strategy and research. Their finds doubled quickly, and they made a bit of a name for themselves in the treasure-hunting communities.

  The whole while, he had been obsessed with finding the lost luxury ship, Earth. Years later, he had been using the scanner, accidentally on the low-band setting, and that was when he began picking up radio and TV signals from Earth. From that point on, it became their mission to find the lost ship, and bring back some of the fabled riches as proof.

  He finally told her about the signal from the engines that had led them here, explaining that when they warped in, they were too low, and got caught in Earth’s gravity well, and crash-landed.

  “That nice man in the truck dropped us off at the refueling station, and you know the rest,” Finn finished, taking a sip to wet his dry throat.

  Mila hadn’t said a word through the whole monologue, just sipped her drink and listened. Finn could tell that she had stopped herself several times from interrupting, but now that he was done, she wasn’t saying anything.

  “Are you okay? I know that was a lot of info all at once,” Finn prompted.

  “Cheer?” Penny said from the now-empty bowl she was using as a chaise lounge, her tail flipping contentedly over the rim.

  “No.” Finn rolled his eyes. “I don’t think I broke her.”

  “I’m not going to lie,” Mila finally said. “You came pretty close. How am I supposed to believe that there is a whole universe out there full of dwa
rves and elves and shit, and I just can’t see them?” She shook her head, and Finn took the question to be rhetorical.

  Several people had come in the bar since Finn had started his story. He hadn’t stopped to look them all over, but now two men approached cautiously, standing a respectable distance away, waiting to talk.

  Finn glanced their way and saw that they were elves.

  He waved them over and gave them a big smile through his beard. “Hello, gentlemen.”

  The elves approached with looks of shock on their faces. The first opened his mouth to talk, but his friend elbowed him and indicated Mila. “Not in front of the Peabrain,” he whispered.

  “It’s fine,” Finn reassured them. “She’s in the know, as it were.” He jerked a thumb at Penny, who gave the two newcomers a wave and a smile.

  “Very well,” the first elf said with a slight bow. “We happened to see you when we entered, and to be honest, we couldn’t believe our eyes. Not only a dwarf, but a royal? How is this possible?”

  Finn cocked his head to the side slightly. “Why is seeing a dwarf such an odd thing? There were several on the original journey.”

  “True, but that was ages ago.” The second elf, a wood elf if his brown ponytail was any indication, frowned apologetically. “The younger races haven’t ever seen a dwarf. The last, who went by the name Leif Erikson, died nearly a thousand years ago.”

  “I’m sorry,” Mila cut in, raising her hand for them to stop, “but you’re saying that the first European in the Americas was a dwarf? And that he was the last?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” His brown ponytail bobbed with a nod.

  Mila frowned. “But Leif Erikson had two kids, one of whom became chieftain of their tribe.”

  The first elf, a blond high elf, nodded. “That was true, but they were both Peabrains. He never had the chance to have a dwarven son with his wife.”