by Robin Roseau
I bristled a little at the term “convict”, but I didn’t say anything to that, either.
“That is correct, but perhaps you had other tasks to assign.”
“Do we have paint, Francesca?” Lara asked.
“Begging your pardon, Alpha,” Francesca said, “but whether we have paint or not is below your pay grade. Is Zoe painting the house?”
“Yes,” Lara said. “If you feel it is a good use of her time.”
“Then I will handle it,” she said.
“Very good,” said Lara.
“Head enforcer,” Portia said. “Did you care to direct how Zoe serves her sentence to the enforcers?”
The thought that I’d be answering to Elisabeth turned me cold inside.
“No,” Elisabeth replied. “The offenses were against your team, and you are now managing her. Use your judgment, but I’d encourage you to work with the other enforcers.”
“Good,” she said. “Thank you.” She turned and smiled at me then said, “If you have requests for Zoe’s time, let me know. Otherwise I’ll find enough to keep her busy.”
“Make sure the other enforcers know,” Michaela said.
“Yes, Alpha,” Portia said. “I’ll handle it.”
And at that, the conversation flowed to other topics until Michaela turned to me. “You’re quiet, Zoe.”
“You know me, Michaela,” I said without looking up. “When I have an opinion, I’ll share it.”
She barked a laugh.
Dinner eventually wrapped up. Portia leaned over to me. “Help with dishes.”
“Going to talk about me?”
“Frankly, yes.”
“All right.”
Twenty minutes later, the kitchen was spotless and the kids had dispersed. I wondered if it was safe to return to the other room. I made sure to make noise as I exited the kitchen.
I couldn’t tell if they had to change the topic when I returned, but Karen and Elisabeth were discussing patrols around the compound, and it didn’t seem forced. Portia smiled at me. “Time to go.”
* * * *
It was after ten by the time we were back at Portia’s. She helped me put my things away then turned to me. “You owe me one day of personal service.”
“So I do.”
“I would like to know the limits of what you are willing to do without resenting it.”
“Are you asking for sex?”
“No.”
“Are you going to ask me to do anything that violates my ethics?”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Well, I don’t know what you have in mind, but I’ll tell you if I think you’re being unreasonable.”
She smiled. “One hour of pampering at bedtime each night?”
I smiled. “Sure.”
“I will use the bathroom. When I am done, you will get ready for bed and then find me in my room.”
I nodded agreement.
Fifteen minutes later, I knocked hesitantly at her door. “Portia?”
“I’d rather you not bother knocking,” she said. “Come in.”
I slipped into the room. The lights were out, but I could see she was in bed, lying on her stomach.
“You may pamper me however you want,” she directed. “No particular task is required. If you ask my opinion, I will give it.”
I moved to the edge of the bed and sat down next to her. “Before we get to that, I want to tell you something.”
“This sounds serious,” she said.
“I don’t deserve the way this pack has treated me,” I said. “If I could go back in time and destroy those videos, and then never act on them, I would do so.”
From the bed, she sighed.
“I didn’t deserve anything that happened today, and I don’t deserve this punishment. I certainly don’t deserve those eleven days of service Michaela forced out of me.”
“Zoe…”
“I’m not done.” I paused. “But through all this, and ignoring the way I was dragged here today, you’re the only adult member of the pack who has truly acted as a friend. I still feel you were saddled with me, but I will do my best not to make this worse for you. And I don’t mind the way I’m paying this one day of duty.” I paused. “I may pamper you however I want?”
“Yes. Zoe…”
I set my hand on her back, trying to silence her. “I just thought you should know that. Or maybe I just needed to say it to someone I didn’t think would add to my punishment. I won’t give you any trouble, and I’ll try to think of this as an extended slumber party, too. In between the hundred hours of manual labor I don’t deserve.”
“Zoe-”
“I don’t belong here, Portia,” I said. “Everyone knows it. I don’t know why Michaela won’t just leave me alone. I don’t know why she wants the stress of having Elisabeth and me in the same room together. Does she think I’m actually going to forget everyone knows I wasn’t good enough for her?”
“Zoe,” Portia said again, her tone gentle.
“That’s all I had to say, Portia. I don’t want to talk about any of it. There’s nothing more to say.”
Then I didn’t wait. I peeled the covers away from her. As far as I withdrew them, she was naked. I shouldn’t have been surprised; the wolves had no modesty about their bodies. I supposed if I had bodies as fabulous as theirs, I’d be comfortable showing it off, too.
Portia, just like Elisabeth, was truly magnificent. Even in the dim light, I found myself staring at her back.
I had an idea this was what she meant by pampering, so I had brought hand lotion. I didn’t have massage oil. I squirted lotion in my hands, warmed it, then warned her, “This might be cold.” A moment later, I was massaging her back.
“That feels nice,” she said. “Zoe, if Elisabeth didn’t think you were good enough for her, that’s her problem, not yours. And it is her loss. She’s not going to find what she thinks she wants, whereas you still can. All right?”
I thought about it and grunted. Portia took that as assent.
“I’m glad you’re here, Zoe,” she said.
I thought about it. “I don’t mind being here with you,” I said quietly. “Thank you for having me.”
She let me work for a few minutes before she said, “I want you to talk to me while you do this,” she said. “Tell me about yourself. Maybe tell me about your childhood or your family. And it’s up to you, but you can be far, far firmer than that. It’s okay to really put your weight into it. You can sit on me if needed for leverage.”
I was determined to give her good value, so I took her suggestion, throwing a leg over her hips and straddling her, then sitting on her ass. “Is this all right?”
“You won’t break me, Zoe,” she said. “I’ll say something if it’s uncomfortable.”
I leaned into my hands and worked harder. “What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Each night, I want you to tell me about yourself.”
“All right.” I thought about it. “Did I tell you how I became an environmentalist?”
“No.”
“Well, it all started with a camping trip…”
* * * *
“Rise and shine, sleepyhead.”
“Mmm?”
A finger brushed against my cheek. “You have a big day ahead.”
I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes. “Portia?”
“Wake up, Zoe,” she said. “Workout clothes and a light snack. You can shower after the gym.”
I glanced at the bedroom window. “It’s still dark out.”
“Dawn is almost here.”
“I’m not an early riser, Portia.”
“You are for the next week or two.” She leaned over and whispered into my ear. “If I have to come back in here a second time, I will bring ice with me.”
“I’m up! I’m up!” I struggled to sit and swing my feet out of the bed.
She laughed and pulled me to my feet then, walking backwards, she led me out of the bedroom and towards
the bathroom. “Don’t shower. Use the bathroom, brush your teeth and run a brush through your hair. Pack your clothes for the day; we’ll shower at the gym. And Zoe?”
I blinked at her.
“Hurry. There’s no reason to make me wait for you.”
I wouldn’t say I hurried, but I didn’t dawdle, either. When I presented myself in the kitchen, dressed in sweats, Portia smiled. “Good. Tomorrow you will be faster.” She pointed to the refrigerator. “Make yourself a pre-workout snack.”
“We’re working out?”
“We are.”
“I suppose that doesn’t count towards my sentence.”
“No. It counts as quality time with me.”
I thought about that and decided I was entirely okay with it.
“Are you going to help me?” I paused. “I don’t think I can spot for you.”
She laughed. “No, probably not. Yes, I’ll help you. We’re just doing a light workout to get the muscles moving. You’re going to have to guide me, as I have no idea what a light workout is for you.”
“I’m not sure I do, either.” She laughed.
Ten minutes later, we stepped outside together. It was brisk and fresh out, a perfect fall day. The gym was only a short walk; we could see the back corner from Portia’s doorstep.
“What’s going on over there?” I asked, pointing.
“Michaela’s building a second pool,” Portia said. “This one is specifically for scuba practice. It is deep with caves built into it for practicing diving in tight corners. One of the caves has a window that is exactly the smallest size a male wolf in dive gear could safely use. She and Karen talked about that, and it will be against pack rules for even someone smaller to use an opening any tinier.”
“Wow.” I shook my head. What a different world.
Once we arrived in the gym, Portia directed us. “We’ll start with a brief cardio workout. Then we’ll hit the weights. And we finish with another cardio. Do you want bikes, stair climbers, or rowing machines?”
“No treadmills?”
“When we want to go for a run, we go for a proper run.”
“When you want to go for a bike ride, you could go for a bike ride.”
She laughed. “And Michaela would love if we were right next to Lake Superior for a row. Choose.”
“Bikes.”
With a hand on my back, she led the way. We climbed onto side-by-side exercise bikes. “Twenty minutes,” she said. “Get your heart moving, but not pounding.”
She talked to me while we pedaled. Twenty minutes wasn’t bad, and I felt good when we were done. We came to a stop together, and Portia turned to me. “Wolves don’t need to worry about this, so I didn’t think of it. Do you need to stretch?”
“Yes, probably,” I said.
“Do you need help?”
“No. It will just take a few minutes.”
“There are mats this way.” She led the way to another small room. There were mats on the floor and walls.
“What is this room for?” I asked.
“Sparring.” She paused. “Interested?”
“Self-defense training?”
“Yes.”
“Are you like a black belt or something?”
“Or something.”
I thought about it. “I’d be pretty hopeless, Portia.”
“It’s your choice, Zoe,” she said. “Any time.”
“Thanks. Maybe not today.”
I dropped to the mats and began stretching. Zoe sat down next to me and did her own stretching. When I raised an eyebrow she said, “We’re doing everything together.” Then she proceeded to demonstrate how limber she was. I found myself staring at her. “What? Did I grow a second head?”
“All of you continue to amaze me, that’s all,” I admitted.
“I don’t mind being admired, but we’re here to get a workout.”
“Yes, Portia,” I said. I went back to my own stretches, but that didn’t stop me from watching her. She caught me a few times and smiled broadly.
I went through my own stretches, and it turned out she did her own watching. “You can do better than that,” she said. “Press harder. Stop before it hurts, then hold it. It’s not enough to stretch. You should be working to improve your flexibility.” She paused. “You know, Michaela does yoga.”
“I like yoga,” I admitted. “I have some videos, but we didn’t bring them.”
“A problem for another day,” she said. She pressed me to stretch harder for a few minutes then asked if I was ready for weights.
That was when we ran into a snag. They didn’t have weight training machines; they had free weights. And even their lightest bars were too heavy for me. Portia frowned and said, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll take turns, and I’ll help you.” So she spotted me for most of my exercises, and I knew she was taking some of the weight of the empty bar so I could do what she directed.
Still, I felt really good when she declared we were done. I admitted that.
“Good. Twenty more minutes of cardio. What would you like?”
“I have old knees, Portia. Stair climbers are hard on me. Otherwise, whatever you want.”
She cocked her head.
“You don’t understand what I said?” I asked.
“No.”
“Humans begin to fall apart sometime after thirty-five,” I said. “It manifests itself in a variety of ways. For me, it’s begun to affect my knees. I can bike and run, but stair climbers and deep knee bends will leave me hobbling around for two days. There’s nothing to be done about it.”
“All right,” she said. “Let’s use the rowing machines.”
* * * *
After we showered and dressed, she led the way back to her house. “Zoe, I talked to the alphas last night. I am not obligated to watch you twenty-four hours a day.”
“That’s a good thing. Sleep is important.”
“Can I trust you?”
“Of course.”
“Then I give you a choice. You may pack your breakfast and bring it to the alphas’, or you may eat here. I am eating there.”
“I don’t want to make you wait.”
“I’d leave you here, and you would walk over after your breakfast.”
“Oh. I see. Whatever you want, Portia.”
“No. This is your choice.”
I would have liked to eat with her, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend any more time with the rest of the pack than I absolutely had to. Inwardly I sighed.
“It would take me ten minutes to make something. If you wait, then I’ll walk over with you. If not, then I’ll eat here and join you when I’m done.”
“And do you have a preference?” she asked.
I smiled. “To eat with you.”
“Then I will wait.”
It took me a little longer than ten minutes, as I was unfamiliar with Portia’s kitchen, and I had to clean up afterwards. She made no indication of impatience, and soon enough I was carrying a sack breakfast with me as we walked across the compound.
Portia’s hand on my back was comforting.
As it always seemed to be, the alphas’ house was busy. I didn’t see the pups, but the living room held four teenagers. Lara, Michaela, Elisabeth, and several enforcers were at the dining room table at various stages of their breakfast. We greeted everyone and were warmly greeted in return.
No one seemed to find it at all unusual I was there.
Portia collected a plate of food from the kitchen, and we sat down. I took a seat as far from Elisabeth as I could without being obvious. Conversation was light and easy, although like last night, I was quiet.
It all seemed so normal. It shouldn’t have seemed normal, should it? Nothing was normal about any of this, after all.
As I finished my meal, Michaela said, “Zoe, I need you for about a half hour after school this afternoon. This does not count towards your sentence.”
“Yes, Alpha.”
“Portia, please coordinate that with Se
rena.”
“Yes, Alpha,” Portia replied.
“Portia,” said Serena, “I need you Monday from four PM until late. And you’ll be on duty next weekend. Otherwise, there’s nothing scheduled that I don’t have covered.”
“All right,” Portia answered.
I paused, then said, “Um…”
“Yes, Zoe?” Michaela asked.
“If Portia is on duty Monday, does that mean I have to go to the cell in the barracks?”
Both alphas turned to look at me for a minute. Finally Lara said, “Ask again on Monday.”
“May I ask why you can’t answer today?”
“Because we’re waiting to see whether you follow through on your promises to be pleasant,” Michaela explained.
“Oh.” I lowered my head. “I understand.” I still felt sullen. I thought everything they had done was unfair, and now they were threatening to imprison me if I didn’t paste on a fake smile.
Portia reached over and clasped my hand for a moment. “Zoe has been lovely,” she said. “You have nothing to worry about, Alpha.”
“If that remains the case,” Michaela said, “then it will be Portia’s decision what to do with you while she’s otherwise occupied. Otherwise, it becomes that of the alphas.”
“I understand,” I said again. “And next weekend?”
“That is what we’re discussing this afternoon. You owe me five days plus your October pack service days. There is a field trip. I don’t have time to get into it right now.”
“Of course. Thank you for explaining, Alpha.” I realized as I said it that I was feeling vulnerable around both of them, terribly afraid of offending them. I didn’t know I was supposed to fit in if I felt the need to walk on eggshells around them. It seemed unlikely.
“You’re welcome,” she replied. “Hmm. A half hour may not be sufficient. Plan on an hour, but we might be done sooner than that.” Without waiting for a response, she rose to her feet. Then she pulled Lara’s face to hers and gave her a deep, deep kiss. Elisabeth received a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be back down in a minute, then we can go, Serena.”
We all stared as she bounded up the stairs.
Lara’s gaze was obvious. She remained deeply in love with her spouse.
It seemed so normal. Why did it feel so normal?
Well, discounting the whole eggshells thing.
* * * *
The house emptied out. Michaela left for school taking Serena and Angel with her. A short while after that, Lara left with Elisabeth and Karen. Then the teenagers packed up. Finally, Nora collected Rebecca and Celeste, and soon they were gone along with the last of the enforcers. Portia and I had the house to ourselves.