by Lea Coll
I looked in the window at the display of colorful heels. “I’m in.”
We pulled open the door and walked in together. I sighed. “I can’t remember the last time I went shoe shopping and didn’t order online.”
A sharp intake of breath came from a woman walking toward us from the back. “You shop for shoes online?”
“Yes,” I said, carefully. “I don’t have time to shop usually and there are very few shops like this where I’m from.”
“We’re going to have fun this morning,” the woman said. “I’m Elise. What are you looking for?”
“Something that will stand out.”
Hadley squealed, dropping my arm, as she grabbed a red crocodile bootie from the shelf. “These are amazing. You have to try them on, and I know how much you love red shoes.”
“Alright.” I did. I liked my shoes to stand out when nothing else about my outfit did. I felt powerful. Elise asked my size and grabbed a box from the back room.
I slipped them on and admired them.
“Those look awesome.”
“They do.” I felt like a new woman in these. I’d moved to a new city on my own. I had a job working closely with the community. I had a new friend who was fun. I had everything. I didn’t need a boyfriend to complicate things. If Gabe had a good reason for leaving this morning, I’d keep anything between us casual. Resolved to tell him that the next time I saw him, I pulled off the shoes, placing them carefully back into the box. “I’ll take these.”
“Perfect,” Elise said. She placed the closed box on the counter.
Hadley’s attention was already on a blue suede heel she was modeling in front of the full-length mirror.
“I love those. If you don’t get them, I will,” I said.
She placed them back in the box. “Well, that was easy. I can’t have you wearing them.”
We browsed the rest of the store but only bought the shoes we’d initially seen. “I’ll need to come back. I’m still considering a few other shoes,” I said.
“Me too. I’m here every other week at least.” Hadley held her credit card out to Elise.
“That’s good to hear.” Elise smiled.
My mind had wandered but as I focused back in on Elise and Hadley, they were chatting about opening more Hot Heels Boutique stores in the city.
“Taylor works in an up and coming community near Harrison Avenue in Lakeview. There are lots of new businesses opening up and we’re trying to attract more foot traffic from Harrison Avenue.”
Elise tapped her chin. “That sounds promising and I don’t like to be on the main street. I’ll check it out.”
I exchanged a look with Hadley. I hadn’t expected Elise to be interested. A trendy shoe shop that already had a following would be a nice addition for Gabe’s neighborhood. I handed Elise my business card. “Here’s my card in case you have any questions.”
“Nice seeing you again,” Hadley said as we made our way to the door and said our goodbyes.
“Way to think on your feet,” I said once we were outside on the sidewalk.
“How amazing would it be if Hot Heels Boutique came to Gabe’s neighborhood? She already has a strong customer base.”
“It would be great.” It would legitimize the neighborhood if stores of this caliber started moving in.
We walked to the streetcar together and I said goodbye at my stop.
When I turned down my street, I saw a man sitting on my front porch—black T-shirt, worn jeans, black boots. It had to be Gabe. My heart stuttered then started racing as I wiped my suddenly damp hands on my jeans and came to a stop in front of him.
Gabe stood. “Can we talk?” His face was pensive.
“Sure.” As much as I wanted an explanation, if I wanted something casual I shouldn’t ask for one.
After the door to my apartment was closed and locked, I placed my shopping bag on the table inside the door and turned to him.
“Can we sit outside again?”
I raised my brow but led the way through my bedroom where I ignored the rumpled sheets and held the French doors for him.
He waited until I was settled in the chair before he spoke. “I’m sorry I left this morning without saying anything.”
I chewed my lip, unsure how I felt about his apology, which took us definitively out of the casual zone. Is this what I wanted?
“Honestly, last night freaked me out a little. I wasn’t expecting that.” His face was soft and sincere.
“What weren’t you expecting?” I wanted to know where he was coming from—what he wanted.
“To feel so much,” he said quietly, looking straight into my eyes. “I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
I was glad not to be alone in the feelings of more last night. “You could have told me that instead of running away.”
“I know. I realized that. I fucked up. Will you give me another chance?”
“A chance at what? A relationship?”
“I went back to my empty apartment. I thought of what my life was like without you and what it could be like with you. How I wanted to see where it could go.” His head dropped into his hands and he ran his fingers through his hair before finally lifting his head. “I didn’t want to leave you in bed this morning, but I couldn’t escape this feeling that I’m not good for you.”
I sighed. “If we’re going to take this past casual you need to get over that. I don’t want to invest further in a relationship only to have you walk away because you believe I’m too good for you.”
He winced. “I’m trying. I want to try for you. You make me want to be better—do better.”
“You’re doing just fine on your own.” I smiled because he was. I didn’t make him a better person. He just couldn’t see that he was a good person already. “You just need to believe in yourself. You’re the only one who can do that.”
“How did you get so wise at twenty—?”
“Twenty-six. It seems pretty simple to me.”
“See, wise beyond your years.” He stood, offered his hand to me, and pulled me to stand in front of him, both of my hands in his.
Maybe it was experiencing the unconditional love of my brother who couldn’t communicate with words. Maybe it was my love for Caleb that made this easier for me. I had a good upbringing—a family that loved and supported me. Gabe didn’t have that. Was I willing to explore something with him? To allow myself to be vulnerable with someone who wasn’t used to relationships? His leaving last night made me realize that I didn’t want casual, but I hoped he was worth trying for something more.
Chapter Eighteen
GABE
As I held her hands in mine, taking in her hair in a ponytail and her sundress, I realized she’d never been more beautiful. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
“You’re welcome.” Her voice was soft.
I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to be with her, but I wasn’t sure I’d earned that right. “Taylor?”
She tipped her head up. “Yeah?”
I dropped her hands to cup her face. “Do you think I could kiss you now?” I lowered my face as I waited for her permission.
She smiled. “Definitely.”
My lips met hers in a soft apologetic kiss. “I’m so sorry,” I repeated in between soft kisses as I slowly pulled her ponytail out, letting her hair fall around her face. “You’re the best thing that’s ever walked into my life.” I needed her to know that.
“You are too,” she said simply.
I startled a little at her words. She was wrong, but I didn’t want to argue. Not now. Not when I’d screwed up royally and she let me back into her life, her arms, and hopefully, her bed. I wanted to be with her—wanted to see if last night was real or had I imagined the connection between us.
“Taylor—” I wanted to ask permission. I never wanted to assume I had a right to be with her. I wanted to hold her up on a pedestal. Take care of her. Hold her. The feeling was so overwhelming I couldn’t speak.
“Yes,” she said softly. “Please, Gabe. I need you.” She grabbed my wrist and tugged me back into her room. She stopped at the foot of her bed to pull her sundress over her head and unsnap her lace bra. Her hands went to her panties and I pushed them away.
What did I ever do to deserve her—this moment? The answer was nothing. But I’d do everything in my power to make sure I was worthy of her. I dropped to my knees in front of her and slowly pulled her panties off until she was naked before me. “This is for you.” I spread her legs, my hands went to her ass to tilt her to the angle I wanted, and I licked her from opening to clit.
“Fuck, Gabe.” Her hands curled in my hair.
I used my finger and my mouth to slowly drive her crazy. She tugged on my hair, whimpering until her legs gave out and she was trembling from her release. I slowly lowered her back onto the bed, grabbing a condom from my wallet. I admired her perky tits and her body splayed on the bed before me. She was mine in this moment.
I quickly undressed before my arm wrapped under her, moving her farther up the bed. I hovered over her, my elbows on either side of her head as I nudged my cock into her pussy. “I want you.” I wanted to slide into her bare, but I knew it was too early for that. No matter how amazing last night was, I wasn’t ready for the reality of that. Before things got out of control, I lifted off of her and shifted back on my heels grabbing the condom, but before I could rip the packet, her hand stopped my wrist.
My eyes shot to hers in confusion. “You don’t want to?”
She smiled softly. “I do, but you don’t need a condom. I’m on birth control and I’m clean.”
“I’m clean too, but are you sure—?”
“I want nothing between us. I want you, Gabe. Please?”
Her sweet words made my hand holding the foil packet shake. “Are you sure?” I’d never been bare with a woman.
“Yes, I trust you.”
I saw something else in her eyes, but she didn’t say anything. I felt something build inside me—something I wasn’t used to experiencing and I didn’t know what to do about. “Okay. If you’re sure.” I slowly laid the condom on the bed beside her in case she changed her mind.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“Ugh. I’m not proving anything to you. Believe me when I tell you I want you to fuck me bare.”
Her last words were spoken so quietly I almost didn’t hear her, but the dirty way she said them caused my dick to twitch. I immediately draped myself over her body again, my cock nudging her pussy. The thought of having her bare caused heat to rush through my body as everything inside me focused on the feel of me slowly sliding into her. My body was like a train that couldn’t stop. When I lifted up for a better angle, she grabbed my hands and pulled me down over her again, our hands entwined on either side of her head as I thrust impossibly deeper inside her. It was indescribable. Her slick heat, our hands joined, our eyes never wavering from each other’s. The heaviness of the moment threatened to wash over me and crush me with its weight.
“Christ, Taylor. You feel so amazing.” But it was too much.
“You do too,” she said, her words unsteady as I quickened my pace.
I wanted to drive into her harder, deeper, but I didn’t want to let go of her hands. I’d never felt so close to another person. We kept a steady pace until she arched up on a cry, cresting through her orgasm. I finally let go of her hands to cup her breasts. I rubbed her nipples before moving to her stomach, her hips, until I squeezed and lifted her ass going even deeper.
Fuck. This felt like something—bigger than last night—bigger than anything I’d ever felt. I closed my eyes so she wouldn’t know. There was no way I could feel something for someone I just met. It was just great sex. That was it.
“Baby, open your eyes.”
The sweet way she said “baby” had me popping my eyes open just as my orgasm started from the base of my spine. I thrust into her harder as it came over me. I buried my head in her neck. The emotions were too raw—too real. I wanted this, but I had no idea where it would take me. I came down from my release to her soft hands stroking my back and her kisses on my shoulder.
“Gabe? Are you okay?”
I shifted out of her. “Never better.”
I saw her wince a little as if she’d expected prettier words but that wasn’t me. I couldn’t even make sense of all of the emotions I was feeling. Her disappointment stung, so I laid down next to her, caressing her stomach and placing soft kisses on her arm. “Give me time, okay? I’ve never done this before.”
She smiled, but I detected sadness in her eyes. “We’ll figure it out together.”
I knew it wasn’t okay. Her eyes had been so open and vulnerable during sex and now they weren’t. She didn’t trust me not to walk out on her again, which was understandable.
“Yes.” It sounded like the best thing I ever heard. “Together.” I kissed her mouth as my hand landed on her hip.
She chuckled, backing away from my lips. “You’re insatiable.”
“You wanted a bad boy. Are you sure you can handle it?” I needed to steer this situation into something lighter and quick before I freaked out and left again.
“Oh, I can.” She smirked as her eyes twinkled with mischief. Then her hand went to my cock and the smile slid right off my face.
This is what I wanted. No holding hands. No staring into each other’s eyes.
She cocked her brow as she scooted down the bed, wrapping her lips around my cock. My fingers threaded in her hair, allowing her to take the lead. She used her hand to pump my cock as her tongue and mouth licked and sucked. Before I exploded into her mouth, I touched her shoulder and caught her eyes, and tugged her upward to straddle me. My hands glided over her body, cupping her breasts, her ass, gripping her hips tightly as she slowly slid down my cock.
“You’re so beautiful.” I loved watching her like this—free, uninhibited, confident, and sexy. “Touch yourself.” When her finger trailed down to circle her clit, I almost lost it. “Fuck, that’s hot.”
With a tiny smile, she continued to circle her clit and threw her head back as the sensations overwhelmed her. I gritted my teeth. Why did I think I could emotionally detach during sex? I couldn’t. Not with Taylor. I gripped her hips tighter as I took over thrusting into her from underneath, chasing my release while her pussy clenched around me.
I gathered her to me, turning her so she was cradled in my arms at my side. I gently brushed her hair out of her face, staring at this woman in wonder. She had the power to bring me to my knees no matter how much I tried to resist.
We spent the rest of the day in bed, only getting up to eat and then returning to her bed to rest while the television played in the background. It was like I was walking on quicksand, slowly falling into her more as I touched her body, twirled my fingers in her hair, and kissed her mouth. But I couldn’t get enough.
Could I have her? Could she be mine? Would the novelty of being with her ever go away? And did I want it to?
It was late afternoon before I remembered my standing dinner date with Zach. Should I leave, and with what excuse? I’d already told her about Zach. Could I trust her with more? After what we’d shared, would she support me? What I knew of her so far told me I could—that I should. “Would you mind going somewhere with me?”
“I’d love to stay here, but as long as we’re together, I’m good.”
“Good. Because I cook dinner for someone special to me every day and I’d like you to meet him.” I held my breath, waiting for her response. After I’d told her about the situation with Zach last night, we hadn’t discussed it again and I wasn’t sure how she felt about him or what I was doing.
“Zach?”
“Yeah.”
“I’d love to meet him.” Her hands played with my hair. “I’m happy you’re including me.”
“I am too.” I kissed her, realizing that I was relieved she knew about
Zach. I could share this burden with someone. It was a huge leap of trust for me to bring her into my life, to introduce her to Zach, but something told me I could trust her. She was kind, caring, and she wouldn’t hurt me.
“Shower?” I rolled her over so that she was under me, my cock nestled in its favorite place.
“Ugh. Stop doing that or we’re never going to leave here today, and I really want to meet Zach.”
I lifted off of her holding out a hand for her to take. “Let’s go.”
She smiled, taking my hand, and following me naked into the bathroom. I turned on the water in her tiny shower.
“I don’t think we’ll even fit in here.” Her face was apologetic as she looked around the tiny bathroom.
“It will make it more fun. I want to be close to you.” I stepped under the warm water tugging her in with me. We soaped each other’s bodies and hair before stepping out to dry off and get dressed. It was way more intimate than sex. Each moment with Taylor was more than I was expecting.
“I’m not sure we can actually have sex in that shower,” I said, pulling on my jeans.
“Me neither.” She laughed. “I hadn’t thought about that when I rented the place. I just thought it was perfect for me and it reminded me of home.”
My apartment wasn’t any bigger than hers, but it was in a worse location. Maybe it was time to look for a new place. The only thing holding me back was Zach. If I moved, what would happen to him? He needed someone nearby if he needed help. I couldn’t leave him.
As much as it scared me, this thing with Taylor felt right. It had hurt when Selena left, but she was just one in a long list of people who were never there for me or abandoned me. What I had with Taylor was so much bigger—more meaningful. Which meant it would hurt more if she walked away.
When we finally got back to my apartment, Zach was waiting for me at my door as usual. His face pinched when he saw Taylor. I should have talked to him before I brought her here. I scrubbed my face with my free hand before stepping in front of Zach. “Zach, this is my friend, Taylor.”