Across the Miles (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock #1)

by Rhonda James

  “You are so beautiful, Brooke,” he whispered. I closed my eyes, leaning in to kiss him again. “If I had known that giving you a compliment would have garnered a kiss, I would have been tossing them out all week,” he chuckled softly.

  “Just shut up and kiss me again.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Sebastian~

  My heart was beating right out of my chest, having her this close caused that kind of reaction. Seeing her with Chris, in his arms like that, laughing and so at ease, it hurt. I love Chris, he is like a brother to me, and if she were to tell me that she wanted him I would back off, I wouldn’t be happy, but I would back off. I had to find out if that was what she wanted, no matter how scared I was of the answer.

  “You don’t seem to have a problem with Chris putting his hands all over you. Do you like him or something?

  “No Sebastian, I’m not interested in Chris.” She had said.

  “You want to kiss me,” she’d asked shyly.

  “More than anything.”

  “Then what’s stopping you?”

  “Because I’m afraid if I start I’ll never be able to stop.”

  “Then don’t stop,” she’d whispered.

  When I cupped my hand behind her honey colored hair, the silky strands spilled between my fingers. Then, my lips melted against hers, and I instantly felt right at home. I had been right, kissing her was amazing, and I didn’t want to stop, I wanted to keep doing it for the rest of my life. Nothing I had ever done before with a woman compared to the intimacy I felt in that simple kiss. In that one kiss, we shared everything, and I knew right then that I had fallen for her, hard.

  Brooke~

  Sebastian had gone out for an early morning jog; it was barely dawn when he slipped out of the house. I was still in bed, although awake, when I heard him leave. Last night had been amazing. His family had welcomed me with open arms and made me feel like a part of their extended family. That kiss we shared left me reeling, I thoroughly enjoyed having his lips on mine, and he had been the perfect gentleman, not taking it any further than a simple kiss. Well, a lot of kisses, some simple and some a bit more intense. His kisses left me breathless, wanting more. That scared me. I crawled out of bed and into the shower, hoping the hot water would wash away some of the confusion I was having about what we were doing. I couldn’t possibly consider having an intimate relationship with him, for various reasons. I barely knew him, he lived too far away to get involved, and one-night stands were not for me. No, I was looking for more. I deserved more. I wanted romance. I wanted forever. We didn’t know each other well enough to promise that. Hell, who knew if I would ever hear from him after this week was over. So much floated through my mind in that short period, but at the end of my shower I knew that I would be leaving here with my dignity intact. I wouldn’t sleep with him. I would kiss him and snuggle all he wanted, but anything more would have to wait. If he wanted me, he would have to prove himself.

  When he got back, I was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, reading the paper. He wandered in, drenched in sweat and looking incredibly sexy. How was that possible? He slammed a bottle of water before turning to greet me, pulling the earbuds out first.

  “Aren’t you up bright and early, it’s a gorgeous day out there, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity for a run.” He pulled off his shirt, exposing a well-defined chest and back dotted with tattoos. “Do you want to do anything special today?”

  I stared at him, eyes locked on his tattoos, unable to speak. There’s a large bird of prey spreading across the expanse of his upper back, it’s wings spread in mid-flight, and in it’s talons it holds what appears to be a snake, the body of which spans down his spine. On his left pectoral is the title of their first number one hit, “Heart is on Fire”, and low on his waist are two sets of stars, three in a row, and they run perfectly along the deep V of muscles leading to his pelvic region. I licked my lips nervously; only one word came to mind at that moment. Sexy. I got up and leaned my back against the counter, my heartbeat suddenly erratic.

  “Whatcha thinking about there sweetheart?” he teased, knowingly. “You’re thinking about that kiss last night aren’t you?”

  “No,” I snapped, maybe a little too harshly, “I mean, why do you assume that’s what I’m thinking about? I’m not that kind of girl Sebastian.”

  “I know, and I respect that, but that doesn’t mean we can’t keep doing this. Does it?” he asked softly, planting a soft kiss on my dry lips, effectively moistening them with the warmth and wetness of his own.

  “I don’t know. I guess not. I mean, I would like to continue.” He leaned down and placed his lips over mine; consuming me once again. The kiss started out slowly as he teased my mouth. He slid a hand around my neck, pulling me closer, and I whimpered as he crushed his unyielding body to mine, never breaking the kiss. He gently pushed and pulled against my mouth, leaving my lips swollen and begging for more. When we finally broke apart, my body was flushed with excitement and I felt weak in the knees.

  “Tell me you didn’t want that, that you didn’t feel what happened just then,” he demanded breathlessly. My back still against the counter, his palms flat against it, trapping me beneath him. The smell of him was intoxicating, never mind that he had yet to shower after a sweaty run, he smelled delicious and warm, and extremely comforting. I couldn’t think straight when he was this close. I had to choose my words carefully.

  “I’m feeling a lot of things, Sebastian,” I pressed the flat of my palms against his rock hard abdominal muscles, pushing him back, I needed some air. “And yes, lust is definitely one of them.” His mouth curled up slightly to one side, the viper bites jutted out against the tightened skin. “But,” it curled the opposite way, the bites returned to their sexy position, “I’m not ready for more right now.” I crossed my arms protectively over my heaving chest, and turned my back to him, blowing out a heavy sigh. He approached me slowly, slipping his arms around my waist but not holding too firmly, and rested his chin on my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry, I know I’m pushing too hard, too soon. I’ll back off if that’s what you want. I like you Brooke,” he pulled the hair away from my face, and placed a kiss against the delicate skin below my ear, “but I’ll wait as long as you need. I’m going to shower.”

  I watched him walk away, then made my way out to the sandy beach, plopping down when I reached the furthest point I could go before the receding water tickled my toes. I just needed to make it through one more week; I couldn’t let him wear me down. I had to be strong. I had been down the road of love before, and I had no intention of making that wrong turn again anytime soon.

  My last real boyfriend had been Devon, and we were only nineteen when we met and fell in love, we’d had sex way too soon in our relationship, but somehow we had managed to press on and make it work. He had been a nice guy, and he even proposed, but I had turned him down, convincing him that it was too soon, we had our whole lives ahead of us, or so I thought. We were both in culinary school and had high hopes of making it big in the industry one day. We continued dating, every few months he would ask me again, seeing if I was ready. I hadn’t been. Looking back, I guess that should have been a clue.

  One night he was supposed to pick me up from work, I had been giving it a lot of thought and decided that I was ready to finally throw caution to the wind and say yes. I had run away from commitment for so long, and I was tired of running, I wanted to be loved and cherished by someone. Devon would do that; he already had. I waited and waited; it wasn’t like him to be late. I left the restaurant, heading down an unusually quiet strip of downtown. There weren’t any cars in sight; that was strange. Up ahead I saw flashing lights, someone must have gotten pulled over, I picked up my pace and continued walking toward my apartment, dialing Devon’s number again as I walked, it went straight to voicemail. I was only fifteen feet from the flashing lights when I saw it, Devon’s mangled car, it was upside down and another car appeared to be attached to it.
I wasn’t sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew I was on my knees, crawling to the car, reaching through the shattered window trying to get to him. Why wasn’t anyone helping him? My hand caught a shard of glass, leaving a large gash behind my left thumb, I didn’t care, I had to help Devon. Then I felt a pair of hands at my waist, pulling me backward, I kicked and screamed to fight them off but it was no use, they were stronger. “He’s gone,” a kind voice had told me, I shook my head violently, refusing to believe it. We were supposed to get married; he loved me when no one else had. He couldn’t be gone; but he was, and I was alone, without love or someone to hold me. It should have been a familiar feeling for me, after all it was all I had ever known growing up, but Devon had shown me what it was to be in love. We may have been young, but we had loved like we were older.

  If it hadn’t been for Jade, I would have probably locked myself in my room for a month, or worked myself to death. It was a loss I had never fully gotten over. How can you get over losing someone you loved, especially when that someone was the first person to show you any form of affection? Through much support, and sheer determination, I pressed on and worked hard to achieve the dream that Devon and I had shared together. Although it had been four years, a part of him was still with me, and I hadn’t been with a man intimately since. Now there was Sebastian, and even though we had only known one another for a short time, I felt like he wanted to care for me in the same way. It was both comforting and painful all at the same time.

  Large raindrops brought me back to reality, coming down hard and fast, almost out of nowhere. I ran to the house, not sure how long I had been out there, but when I made it to the landing I was aware that I had been crying, and suddenly, I was thankful that the raindrops might mask my tears. Lord knows I had shared enough of my tale of woe, why make him feel any more pity for me. He wasn’t anywhere in sight when I walked through the door, but I heard him, he was playing the piano and singing softly. I crept through the house slowly, making my way upstairs to the shower to rinse off the sand. I slipped into some yoga shorts and a tank before settling into one of the luxurious sofas in the man cave. I reached for my iPad, opening up my reading app, and tried to lose myself in a book. I must have lost track of how long I was there, and when I looked up I saw that the sky had gotten darker, and the rain was still coming down in large volumes.

  “Hey.” I opened my eyes to find Sebastian leaning over me, smiling a heart-melting smile when our eyes connected. “Are you okay? You sort of disappeared on me.” He sat down on the edge of the sofa.

  “Sorry, I just needed some time alone; it’s been a crazy week.”

  “Am I scaring you, pushing you too much? I don’t mean to do that. I just feel a connection between us, one like I haven’t felt with anyone for a very long time. I guess its nice to know that someone can make me feel alive again.” His eyes found mine, and soon I was lost in the sea of blue, the color that had filled my dreams every night since I set foot in this house, and the color that I am sure will haunt me every night after I return home, away from him and all that he has to offer.

  “Have you ever been in love?” He asked softly.

  I didn’t hesitate to respond, given the memories still fresh in my mind. “Yes, I was once. Engaged actually. We were young and in love. We were going to conquer the food industry together.”

  “What happened?” He twisted his face to meet mine, finding fresh tears. “I’m sorry; you don’t have to answer that.” He looked away, giving me some privacy as I attempted to pull myself together, to no avail.

  “He died in a car accident. He died before I could tell him I was ready to marry him,” I rubbed mindlessly at the scar on my hand.

  Sebastian~

  The bottom just fell out from under me, if I hadn’t already been sitting down I would have collapsed. Here we were, two people that had survived tragic losses, drawn together by another near tragedy. I look at her and am in awe of her. I mean, how much pain can one person be expected to bear in life? This poor girl has been through hell and back since childhood. I thought her upbringing was horrible, but now, hearing that she lost the love of her life in a car accident when she was only twenty-one, there weren’t enough words of comfort to offer. The only thing I could do was share my own story and hope she would feel comforted.

  “Brooke, I…” I was at a complete loss for words, the irony was too much.

  “Don’t, it’s okay. It was four years ago, I can talk about it now, it’s not easy, but I can talk. When I look back at that time of my life I often wonder, if I had it to do all again, would I do anything different. Would I have said yes when he first proposed, or even the second time? Hell, I don’t know.”

  “How many times did he propose?”

  “Officially? Three times. I was just never ready, I thought we were too young. He was supposed to pick me up from the restaurant that night; I was planning to tell him I would marry him when we got home. I had it all planned out too.” She closed her eyes, as if replaying it over in her mind. “But he was late, which was unlike him, he was always early. I started walking to the apartment, figuring he would just meet me there once he realized I wasn’t at the restaurant. I saw the flashing lights and the crumpled cars. I knew immediately it was Devon, but what I couldn’t understand was why no one was helping him. I could see him in the car; it was upside down, and he was slumped over. I ran to him and crawled under the car; I cut myself pretty badly trying to reach his seatbelt.” She rubbed mindlessly over the area behind her left thumb. So, that was how she had gotten the scar. Her eyes met mine, and though her words were shaky, her eyes were clear and dry, as if there were no tears left to cry. “When they told me he was dead I didn’t believe them. If it wouldn’t have been for my friend Jade and my work at the restaurant, I don’t know what would have become of me. Everyone has a breaking point, you know, and after all of the other crap I had been through,” she shook her head and grimaced, “I honestly thought I deserved a break. Devon was my one chance at happiness, and he was taken away from me, just like everything else in my life. My mother had always warned me not to fall in love. She always said look out for yourself, and you won’t get hurt. Well, I’m here to tell you that is bullshit. You get hurt no matter what.”

  “It can make you bitter, can’t it?” I asked, not offering pity because I knew that wasn’t what she needed.

  “What’s that?” her face scrunched up.

  “Losing someone you love. Someone that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. Someone you trusted and leaned on.” I sat up, my shoulder touching hers as we both leaned into the back of the sofa..

  “So you’ve been in love before? Was she your fiancé, Charlotte was it?”

  “Yes, it was Charlotte, and it was a long time ago, but we were never engaged. She was just someone that I assumed would always be there. She died in a car accident two years ago. I was driving.” I picked up her hand and started nervously playing with it, surprised that she didn’t pull away. “I was young and foolish, untouchable you know. We had been out on a drive, taking a trip to Sonoma to tour the wineries. We started talking about the future; she thought we would get married and start a family. I wasn’t ready for that, I was selfish, I wanted to keep dating but, I was in a rock band, I wasn’t ready to settle down. I was going to keep playing my music and conquer the world. We argued about it; she cried, and I got mad. I told her that marriage would always be there, and if we just kept doing what we were doing everything would work out in the end. I was wrong. We were supposed to go to my parent’s house that weekend; she was going to meet them for the first time. Anyway, while we were arguing I got distracted and crossed over the median into oncoming traffic. I swerved the car hard to the right and I guess I must have rammed it too hard because the car flipped, and an oncoming car slammed into the passenger side, killing her instantly.” I turned away from her, unwilling to let her see the moisture forming in my eyes.

  She came at me, throwing her small arms aroun
d me, sobbing softly. “Oh my gosh Sebastian, I am so sorry. I had no idea that happened to you. Why didn’t any of this get leaked out to the media?”

  “My lawyers and public relations team covered it up; I had been injured in the crash, so they played the distraught lover bit.”

  “Not much of a stretch, I’m sure you were completely devastated. I can’t imagine how different things would have been if I had been in the wreck with Devon and survived. I supposed I would have felt guilty, unworthy of living.”

  “Yeah, that’s exactly what I felt,” I whispered, my body shook involuntarily, and she clung to me tighter as if trying to absorb the tremors and take on my pain. “I shut down emotionally, fell into denial. We went on tour, and I performed every night as if nothing had happened. I wrote some of the best music of my life.” I slumped back against the comfort of the plush sofa cushion, half hoping it would somehow swallow me up. Baring my soul to another human being had never been this easy, yet I hated that she would see me for who I truly am. “When the tour was over, and we returned home, I was forced to come face to face with everything that had happened. I crashed hard into a life full of drinking and drugs for the next year until Dek knocked some sense into me.”

  “He gave you some good advice?”

  “No, he gave me a bloody nose and lip. As I said, he knocked some sense into me. He helped me see that what I was doing was not only destroying myself, but also my family and the band. He told me that I had to get off my path of self-destruction, or I was out of the band. Four months ago I checked into rehab and spent ninety days turning my life around. I’m still a work in progress, but I’m slowly getting there.” I shrugged, studying her face for a response.

  “I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispered. “I guess we’re both two wounded souls that need healing. It’s no wonder we get along so well.” She laughed softly; I felt her body shaking against mine as she let go and laughed heartily, after a while it was hard to keep a straight face and soon I joined in. Laughter felt good, like a soothing balm after we had just made ourselves vulnerable.