by Rhonda James
“That last take was killer, thanks for sticking with it. What finally made it work?”
“A beautiful woman,” I smiled smugly, looking at Travis and winking, he gave me a thumbs up.
“Well, whoever she is, she must be pretty special because that was perfect. Good job everyone!”
“Hey brother,” Travis came over and put his hand on my shoulder. “You feel like going out and grabbing a bite to eat? Natalie is at dance class with Olivia, so I’m on my own tonight.”
“Sounds great, thanks.”
We stopped at a local pub and placed our drink order, beer for Travis and a Coke for me. When the waitress delivered our drinks, we placed our food orders and handed her our menus. I sat there trying to recall how long it had been since the two of us had gone out for a meal together, I mean just the two of us, it had been way too long. When we were younger, we were inseparable, even though I was three years younger, wherever Travis went I wouldn’t be far behind. He had been my hero; I had always looked up to him, hell, I still did. Travis always made time for me, had always encouraged me, and tried his best to be a good example to me and Nikki. He was a great brother, but he was more than that to me, he was my very best friend. When I spiraled down into my dark abyss he had tried to be there for me, in some way I think he blamed himself for not doing more to help me when I was going through that silent hell. But, as is the case with most people that fall into the dark world of drugs and alcohol, I pushed him away, not wanting his help. Now that I am on the other side of that descent, I am able to see it for what it actually was. I had blamed myself for what happened to Charlotte and the guilt was my punishment. Instead of getting help, I turned to the things that didn’t question or judge me. Substances made it possible for me to temporarily forget my pain. While I was in detox, I filled my journals with all of the guilt and despair I had carried, writing those words helped to cleanse me of what I had been drowning in. I had also written in there how hurt I had been that Travis never came to visit or call. Of course, I knew why he never came, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like he had abandoned me, or had given up on me. When Dek had called to tell me that Travis was the one who would be picking me up I had actually been shocked, but once I saw him, saw the pride on his face, I knew that the decision to stay away hadn’t only been for him, but for me as well. I needed to face my demons on my own and I came out on top. Looking at the bottle of beer sitting before him, I knew that I could never again pick up a bottle and take a swig, I would fall right back into that darkness, and I never wanted to go there again.
“So, how are you doing?” he asked warmly.
“I’m good, I miss her a lot, but I’m good. We talk every day, so that helps. Being busy makes it easier too. She’s been slammed at work, and being gone ten days only made her work harder. She’s pretty driven at work, pushes herself too hard I think. She’s waiting to hear back from the owner of that restaurant out here. Hopefully, he’ll ask her back for another interview,” I replied, taking a drink of my Coke.
“Did you ever consider what would happen if she didn’t get called back out here? Have you two thought that far ahead?” he toyed aimlessly with the wrapper from my straw.
“No, right now neither of us wants to think like that. It’s hard Travis; I knew it would be hard to have her away from me, but I jumped in with both feet. I know she’s the one. I feel it right here,” I put my fist up to my chest. “She’s made me whole again. No matter how hard it is, I have to try and make it work. She wants me to romance her from afar.”
Travis laughed heartily. “So how are you going to do that? Do you need some romance tips from your big brother?”
“Hardly,” I guffawed. “I’ve got a few ideas. I’ve been taking care of her, sending her little things here and there.”
“What kind of things?” his brows arched as he brought the bottle up to his lips.
“Oh, the typical stuff, and a few other things.”
“You’re going all out.”
“She wanted the full court press; I’m going to give it to her. She’s worth it.”
“Now that’s the truth,” he tapped his beer to my glass and we both drank a toast to Brooke. I looked at my watch, it was just after five in Michigan, she would be hard at work. I hoped she liked what I had waiting for her when she got home tonight.
Brooke~
Going back to work had been just what I needed to take my mind off missing Sebastian. I still longed to be with him every day, but the fast pace of the kitchen kept my mind preoccupied and that had been a welcomed blessing. On my first day back, Donnie had called me into his office and wanted to hear all about my week with a rock star, after I told him everything he couldn’t believe that I had fallen in love so quickly.
“That’s totally out of character for you, Brooke. Are you sure about this? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to discount your feelings, but he is very famous and good looking, it would be easy to get swept away by all of that. I just don’t want you getting hurt.” I knew he was just trying to look out for me, after all, he has always treated me like I was family.
“I know you worry about me, and I truly appreciate that, but I think this is the real deal. I know that the whole fame thing would make it easy to fall into something that didn’t exist, but it does exist, not just in my head, but in my heart. I’m not sure how things are going to work out, given that we live so far apart, but they’re only miles.”
“Love looks good on you kid. I hope I get to meet this young man one day and thank him for putting that smile back on your face.” He gave a quick wink and smiled a toothy grin. “Seriously Brooke, you look happy. So, any idea when you’ll get to see him again?” Donnie asked, leaning back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk.
Did I look different? I hadn’t really thought about it. I raised my hand to my face, brushing my fingertips lightly over my lips, remembering the warm feel of Sebastian’s lips when they touched mine, and longing for the feel of cold metal as it brushed my skin. My smile broadened, and I let out a soft sigh. Donnie just watched, shaking his head.
“What are you thinking about over there? Your face just turned the cutest shade of pink,” he paused a moment before his eyes grew larger. “Wait a minute, I don’t think I want you to answer that,” he stated, shaking his head again.
“Donnie! Nothing like that happened. Geez, what kind of girl do you think I am? Wait, don’t answer that,” I moaned, covering my face with my hands. “We’re taking it slow.”
“I see, is he okay with that? I only ask because I remember what it was like being a twenty-five-year-old guy.” A look of pain shot across Donnie’s face when he said that, making the butterflies reappear in my recently steady stomach.
“I don’t know, I thought he was okay with it. I guess we didn’t spend a whole lot of time talking about it. I mean, he obviously wanted to take things further but I asked him to wait. At the time I wanted it too, I just knew that, with me leaving, things were already going to be complicated enough, I didn’t want to throw sex into the mix. Besides, waiting feels like the right thing to do. I jumped into a sexual relationship far too early with Devon, and I never regretted it, but I think that it put more pressure on us both to commit to something much sooner than either of us might have been ready for. I think I knew that at the time, I just wasn’t mature enough to express it. I’m older, and hopefully wiser, and this time I was able to voice it. If he has an issue with it, I guess time will tell.”
“You never cease to amaze me Brooke; you’re so mature for your age. I think that you’ll do great working for Chef Wolf. Have you heard anything yet?” Donnie asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his folded hands.
“Nothing yet, but I wasn’t expecting to hear anything this soon. Before I left, his general manager informed me that he was out of the country and wouldn’t return for at least six weeks. I think I impressed them, my Wellington was perfect.” I sat back in my chair, reme
mbering how beautifully pink that meat had been when I sliced into it. They had to have been impressed; even Kimberly had said it was impressive. I wanted this opportunity so badly, not because I wanted to leave the comfort and security of my current life, but because I was feeling restless and just wanted a change. If I were offered the job, I would miss everyone, no doubt, but I would welcome the adventure. If I had learned anything from my time in California, and I most certainly learned a lot, but one of the things that I had learned about myself was that I had lacked excitement in my life. After Devon’s death I shut down internally. I still functioned like a normal human being, but the only passion I allowed myself to feel was for cooking, everything else took a backseat. Being with Sebastian had reminded me what I had been missing. I had been surviving, but I hadn’t truly been living. Maybe that’s what Donnie had seen in me these past two weeks, maybe he saw that the light had been returned to my eyes. I had Sebastian to thank for that, well, Sebastian and his family.
“I would hate to see you go, but they would be fools not to snatch you up, you’re an amazing chef with a lot to offer an establishment like that. You could learn a lot from Chef Wolf.”
“You’ve taught me so much Donnie, don’t sell yourself short. You could be a great asset for them as well, why didn’t you put your name into the hat?” I had been curious about that from the beginning, he knew Chef Wolf, and had extensive experience in the kitchen.
“I’m too old for that anymore, besides, I like it here, my family is settled here. That kind of job is perfect for talented young chefs such as yourself, you’re single and can make a move without uprooting kids. A job like this would be perfect for you, especially now since your love interest would be close by,” he laughed.
“That would definitely be a major bonus, but I’m not going to choose my job based on a man, I will go where the opportunity presents itself,” I stated defiantly.
“You sure about that? True love doesn’t come around too many times Brooke. Don’t pass up on happiness just because you have something to prove to this industry, trust me, that will get old fast. You don’t have to prove anything to anybody.” He reached out and took hold of my hand, covering it with both of his.
“Yes I do, I have to prove it to myself. I’ve worked too hard to turn my back on it now. I do love him, as crazy as it sounds after only knowing him for such a short time, but the reality is that we live in two different states and have completely different lives. However, we do share a common bond that makes us fit perfectly together. Two years ago, his girlfriend was killed in a car accident while he was driving.”
“Are you serious? That’s more than a little coincidental don’t you think? I mean, what are the odds that you would go out there and be rescued by someone that can share your pain on such a personal level? That’s not something that can be overlooked sweetie. It sounds to me as if you were meant to find each other. I think you need to start seriously thinking about a way to make it work, regardless of the sacrifice.”
After that initial chat with Donnie, he hadn’t said much else about my long distance relationship. I think he was giving me time and space to figure things out. For me, being away from Sebastian physically had been hard, but it wasn’t the hardest part, the hardest for me was the emotional absence. Being with him filled a void, partly because being with him also included his family, and that was something I craved desperately.
When I arrived home that evening, I walked through the door and found a package sitting on the kitchen counter. The day after I returned from California I had a card in the mail, from Sebastian, thanking me for our time together and bringing him back to life. That card now had pride of place on my beside table, and I re-read it every night before falling asleep. Then, four days later I woke to someone knocking on the door, when I opened it I found a young girl standing there holding a large cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop downtown, I didn’t even know they delivered. I found out later that they normally don’t, but when he told them who he was they bent over backwards to accommodate him, since that day he has been waking me up with my favorite brew every morning. Yesterday’s cup cozy included a handwritten note.
“Even though I am not there with you, I want you to drink this coffee and imagine that we are together, because, in my head and my heart, you never left. Love, Sebastian.”
I carried the package to my room and set it on the end of the bed. I changed my clothes and settled down on my comforter with the box on my lap, I gave it a careful shake, I didn’t hear anything breakable inside, and I removed the strip of tape that sealed it shut. When I moved the tissue paper aside I found two more boxes, both individually gift wrapped. I tore into the first one, not knowing what to expect, and found a small card with a handwritten note.
“I saw these and couldn’t help but smile because they reminded me of our first walk on the beach together. Wishing you were here to take that walk with me again. Love, Sebastian.”
Inside the box were three beautifully colored seashells, just like the ones we had collected and placed on his mantel. I couldn’t help but smile at that memory. I set the first box aside and took out the remaining one, tearing open the wrapping, and finding one more note.
“Since I couldn’t bring you to the beach, I thought I would bring the beach to you. Love Always, S.”
I removed the tissue paper and discovered an intricately designed glass bottle that had been filled with sand from the Santa Monica beach, right outside his home. I held the bottle close to my chest and cried, not tears of sadness, but tears of great joy and happiness. For the first time in two weeks, I felt close to him, almost as if the bottle contained a small piece of him within it. I opened it up and took a deep breath, it reminded me of him; he smelled like the beach, a heady combination of salty ocean air and suntan lotion. I pulled out my phone and sent him a text.
Me: I had a little surprise waiting for me when I got home tonight.
Sebastian: Oh yeah? Sounds like someone was thinking of you.
Me: It appears to me like someone wanted me to think of them also
Sebastian: Did it work?
Me: Like a charm.
Sebastian: My lucky charm
Me: Always.
Sebastian: Forever.
Me: I loved them both, seriously, thank you for doing that. Having them helps me feel as if a small part of you is here with me.
Sebastian: Soon baby. And, you’re welcome; it’s always my pleasure to bring a smile to your beautiful face. I miss that face.
Me: This face misses you too. (I sent a picture of me texting him).
Sebastian: I love you. (He sent a picture of him texting me back, blowing me a kiss).
Me: Love you too baby. Goodnight.
Sebastian: Dream about me.
Me: I always do.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sebastian~
“Come on Sebastian, let’s go out and do something man, you can’t sit in this house forever waiting for her to call, you’ve got to live a little. Surely she doesn’t expect you to be a hermit.” Dek had been trying to get me to hang out with him for the past few weeks and each time I had turned him down with some lame excuse, but he and I both knew the reason I didn’t want to go out, he had just made that crystal clear.
“I’m not sitting around waiting for her call, and she doesn’t expect me to either. I just haven’t felt like going out, I’ve grown quite fond of my sofa, the pillow on it still smells like her.” Dek rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.
“Man, don’t make me do another intervention,” he cautioned.
“That’s not what this is, I just miss her, that’s all. It’s hard to explain Dek, when she was here she filled a hole in my heart that I hadn’t even realized was there. I liked having someone around that laughed with me, and she danced with me; we could just hang out together on the floor, and that simple act meant everything. When she was with me, everything seemed to fall into place. And, now that she’s gone,” I turned away, lo
oking out the window at a sailboat in the distance, “I feel that emptiness again, and I don’t like it.”
“Look, I’m really sorry that this is tearing you up inside, I get it, I honestly do. You’re in love with her, and I think that is fantastic, but she isn’t here, and you hanging out in this house just to smell a pillow or reminisce isn’t exactly healthy buddy. Why don’t you give her a call and then you and I can go out and grab a bite to eat and maybe play a game of pool or go night surfing or something off the wall like that? Does that sound good? We could even catch a movie if you like. I just think you need to get out of the house. The only time you’ve left has been to go to the studio or your Mom’s on Sunday,” Dek pleaded.
“I know, you’re right, this isn’t healthy. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll give her a call, she may be at work so I might just have to leave a quick message.” I turned to head to my room for some privacy, and then I turned back when I’d made it halfway down the hall. “Hey, thanks, man, I appreciate your concern.”
“No problem, that’s what I do best, taking care of you,” he winked, then sat down on the sofa to wait while I called Brooke.
The phone rang five times, and I was just getting ready to listen to her outgoing message on her voicemail when I heard her pick up the phone, sounding out of breath.
“Hi baby,” she smiled, well, I don’t know for sure if she was actually smiling, but the tone of her voice made it sound as if she were.
“Hey, it’s so good to hear your voice, I haven’t talked to you in a few days. How are things?”
“Oh, I know, I’m sorry about that. We’ve been busy at work and I’ve been putting in crazy hours because we are into wedding season, and everyone wants to hold their rehearsal dinner at our restaurant, plus I’ve been doing some catering on the side to make extra money.”