by Speer, Flora
“Have you read my mind already, Osiyar?”
“No. And it is not a ‘reading,’ it is a knowing. There is a difference.”
“You would know me, but I could never know your mind.”
“Ah, but you could. There is more to you than you realize.” He saw that her stubborn lower lip was trembling. To his own surprise, he felt an urgent desire to kiss that hard yet vulnerable mouth. He put out his right hand and laid it on her shoulder. She did not move away. “Will you take the first step with me, Alla?”
“Yes,” she said, “I will. But you understand, I do it only in the interests of scientific research.”
“Of course,” he said, drawing her into his arms. “And so do I, my lovely experiment. So do I.”
* * * * *
“Narisa, if I am to go to Tathan, then you, as my second in command, will have to remain behind,” Tarik told his wife.
“I refuse to obey that order,” Narisa declared. “Gaidar and Suria can manage very well, and we have an excellent second communications officer to take Reid’s place. If there should be an emergency here, we can return within a few hours, and if we are needed aboard the Kalina, we can reach orbit as easily from Tathan as from here. You and I will go, along with Osiyar and Alia.”
It took three more days of discussion, but at last Tarik accepted Narisa’s argument.
“I cannot leave until Reid is well,” Alla insisted. “I am not certain I should go at all.” Day after day she continued to waver, until Osiyar, understanding the conflict she felt, spoke to Tarik, and Tarik commanded her to join the expedition whether Reid recovered or not.
On the night before they were to leave for Tathan, Herne and Osiyar closed themselves into Reid’s hospital room while Osiyar linked his mind with Reid’s once more, this time to ease him out of suspension.
“He will waken in a day or two, perhaps sooner,” Herne announced hours later. “He will recover, Alla. You may leave tomorrow without any worry for him.”
The next morning, after all the good-byes had been said and the shuttlecraft was just about to lift off from the beach, Herne arrived, beckoning to Janina, who had walked to the beach with Osiyar.
“He’s awake,” Herne said. “You may see him now.”
Janina started to run up the beach - and stopped just as she reached the trees. Spinning around, she raced back to the shuttlecraft, where Osiyar was sliding the hatch shut.
“Wait!” she cried, waving both arms. “You have to wait. Osiyar, let me inside. Alla! Alla, Reid is awake. Go to him.”
Without a word to Janina, Alla tumbled through the hatch and ran for the headquarters building.
“So much for generosity,” Herne said to Janina. “She didn’t even thank you.”
“I will have Reid for all of my life,” Janina replied. “Alla must give him up, and she has to do it now, this morning. Reid will tell her so.”
But Alla stopped before she reached the path through the trees. Turning, she retraced her steps until she stood before Janina.
“You would have let me see him first,” she said. “Why?”
“You love him,” Janina responded. “And he loves you. You are his only blood kin. Go on, Alla. Tarik will wait for you.”
“No.” Alla tried to smile, but could not. Janina saw the quickly-banished tears, and the loss in her face, before Alla set her features into a hard mask.
“You are not the only one who can give up your love for his own good,” Alla said in a tight, cold voice. “You carry his child inside you. Reid’s child makes us kin, Janina, whether I like it or not. He needs to know about the baby. Go tell him. And tell him - say I love him but I have important work to do. Tell him I said good-bye.”
Janina put out both hands, wanting to touch Alla, to let her know how much her sacrifice meant, for it was a great sacrifice on Alla’s part. Alla brushed her hands aside, turning toward the shuttlecraft where Osiyar waited in the hatchway.
“Good-bye,” Janina called after her. “Good luck.”
With no last look but only a quick backward wave of one hand, Alla disappeared into the hatch. Osiyar closed the door and a moment later the shuttlecraft roared into the sky.
* * * * *
Reid looked remarkably well for someone who had been so sick for so long. Sitting on the side of his bed, Janina put her arms around him.
“I felt you with me,” he murmured. “You and Osiyar. My love and my friend.”
“Hush,” Janina whispered, wanting him to rest. “I’ll tell you all about it later. We are safe now, Reid. Our long journey is over. I’m only sorry I was such a coward about so many things along the way.”
“You are no coward at all,” Reid said. “You are the bravest woman I have ever known, and the most intelligent. You saved my life twice.”
She considered his words, realizing that she no longer thought of herself as weak or stupid. Still…
“I was terrified every moment,” she said.
“So was I,” Reid admitted.
“You?” She stared at him in wonder. “You are no coward.”
“It’s not absence of fear that prevents a person from being a coward,” he said, “but the determination to fight through the fear to do the thing that must be done. You certainly accomplished that.”
“Face the thing you fear,” she murmured softly.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing,” she replied, smiling to herself with sudden confidence. “Nothing at all.”
She snuggled closer to him, tucking her head under his chin. His lips repeatedly brushed her forehead, until she lifted her face and their mouths met. His arms tightened around her.
“You are supposed to be convalescing,” she scolded when she could speak again.
“I believe a little gentle exercise is beneficial to those who have been ill,” he responded solemnly, pulling her against him once more.
“Herne may come in at any moment.”
“Herne will leave us alone.”
“Then Suria -” She could not finish what she meant to say, for his mouth stopped her words.
It was not the vigorous loving she had known with Reid in the past. He was still too weak for that, but Janina understood that it was vitally important to him to claim her once more for his own. He wooed her with gentle caresses, while she kissed and fondled and nibbled in return, and finally slid beneath him to pull him down on top of her. And when she felt him deep within her at last, she knew that she had needed this lovemaking, too, had needed her own affirmation of his love for her.
When they were both completely satisfied, she lay with her head on his shoulder and her hand at his waist while his fingers laced through hers.
“How do you like Alla?” he asked.
“She doesn’t approve of me,” Janina murmured.
“She has never approved of any woman I’ve known,” Reid said with a chuckle. “I’m surprised she didn’t get to my room before you did. Or didn’t anyone tell her I was awake?”
“I told her,” Janina replied, and delivered Alla’s message to him.
“She has gone away?” Reid asked, incredulous. “I can’t believe this.”
“She will be back soon. It’s only a ten-day preliminary expedition,” Janina said, laughing a little. “She went with Osiyar. She has spent a lot of time with him recently.”
“With Osiyar? Alla and Osiyar?” Reid began to laugh. Janina joined him. They made so much noise that Herne slid the hospital room door open a little to see if anything was wrong. When he spied Janina’s green robe on the floor, and two forms beneath the blue hospital blanket, he quietly closed the door again and went away, leaving them to their love.
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