by Emma Harley
Raina groaned as she raked her eyes over the puffy clouds of dresses hanging around her room. Too much frills for her taste. Especially since her taste was entirely frill-free. Grumbling under her breath about the lack of comfortable pants and boots, she examined an emerald green satin gown. It wasn’t as puffy as the others, in fact it hung around her body like a sheet, making her look more sophisticated than she needed to be. Raina shrugged the dress off and tried on a slightly puffy lilac gown. She looked like a damn cupcake.
Alicia burst into her bedroom and stopped dead as she spotted Raina in the gown. It took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to cry with laughter.
“You look great,” she stammered out, her eyes watering with the strain of holding back.
“I look like a fucking meringue. The royals in this world need to do something about their fashion sense because this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever worn.”
Alicia snapped a picture, capturing the exact moment Raina held her middle finger in the air. She was already dressed in the soft pink robes of the handmaids and had her auburn hair tightly pinned into a bun. Raina slumped down into the chair before her dressing table and started applying some makeup as Alicia tugged a brush through her hair.
“How often have you shoved down your emotions to avoid dealing with them?” Raina paused and caught Alicia’s eye in the mirror.
“I’ve always done it. You know we don’t talk about our problems, you bottle things up as much as I do,” she sighed heavily.
“I know that. But we aren’t ticking time bombs, you are. What made you shove them down the last time?” Alicia probed, gently running the brush over her scalp and dragging loose locks behind her pointed ears. Raina busied herself with the makeup and didn’t answer. After a few moments of silence, Alicia flicked the back of her head.
“I’m not going to let it go just because you don’t answer. I don’t suppose it was a coincidence that you suddenly shut down when Logan confessed his feelings?” Raina glared at her reflection.
“He was fully aware of my plans, he should have distanced himself and he wouldn’t have gotten his feelings hurt,” she stated quite matter-of-factly, wincing as Alicia flicked her again.
“That explains nothing. I think you have feelings for him and you had to shut down to make it easier on yourself when you left,” Alicia snapped.
Raina knew this was heading for an argument. Over the past few days she had seen the hidden glances between the squad, silence falling as soon as she entered a room with them and their deliberate avoidance of her.
“What do you want me to say Alicia?” Raina sighed, setting the makeup down and wishing she was wearing literally anything other than a puffy lilac gown. Alicia’s stare could have cut through her.
“I want the truth for once Phoenix. I know all of this is new to you, but you have spiralled since we arrived here. You barely acknowledge your parents, you broke Logan in front of everyone and you decided that you’re going on a death mission without even talking to us about it. We agreed we would follow you, and yes we’re a bit nonchalant about death, but none of us are willing to stand back and watch you die without helping you.”
Raina whipped around to her, immediately hesitating as she saw the tears forming in her friend’s eyes.
“I don’t acknowledge them because I don’t want to get close to them. I had never planned on it because I wanted to go home again, and getting attached would make it painful for everyone involved. I don’t even want to think about my feelings for Logan because I’ll either be leaving or dead. I have lost everyone in my life Alicia and I never set roots anywhere. I couldn’t even manage a relationship because I was afraid of having to leave again. My mother was the one constant in my life and she is dead. If I take you with me you could all die. I can’t lose anyone else,” Raina’s voice had risen to a shout and Alicia didn’t hold back her temper.
“You need to stop being such a coward Raina. You have a mother and father who love you and want to know you, do you have any idea how much I would give to have that? You and the team are my only constant. I moved constantly too, I have no one in my life, no parents, no family, and you’re turning your nose up at yours because you’re afraid.”
“What’s going on?”
The girls jumped and spun to the doorway to find Logan and Taranis standing staring at them, gold and silver eyes of disapproval scrutinizing them. Alicia shot her a look of disappointment and shoved past them both. The general clapped Logan on the shoulder and muttered something to him before leaving after her. Raina took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, refusing to even look at Logan.
“How long were you eavesdropping?” she snapped, busying herself at the dressing table as he leaned against the doorframe.
“We’ve been stationed outside your room since before Alicia arrived,” he mumbled. He was pretending to be deeply interested in the pattern on the wallpaper, turning his attention to anything he could to avoid looking at her directly. The hush was growing heavier by the minute, and Raina found the awkwardness unbearable. She knew he had heard everything, and was quietly hoping he wouldn’t bring it up.
“What did you mean when you said you didn’t want to think about your feelings for me?” Raina’s head dropped back in a loud groan.
“For god sake Logan, why do you have to keep bringing this up?” she snapped, throwing her arms in the air. He folded his arms and shrugged.
“I heard you say it. And it’s difficult to get over you when I’m always doubting how you feel. Sometimes it feels like you’re interested and the next minute you don’t even want to see my face. And now I know why.”
Raina turned and glared at him, furious that he had been listening in to her argument with Alicia.
“Don’t you think I have more pressing matters to be worrying about? Like a weird gate whispering my name and these godforsaken powers running mad? Oh and apparently I’ve been storing my emotions away into a ticking bomb that could level a city,” she tugged off the lilac dress and pulled on a sleek white lacy one, not even caring that it looked like a modern wedding dress. Anything would be better than the puffy nightmares that had been laid out.
“You can take a few moments to relax for once you know. It might even help you out a little bit,” he offered, examining the cart of cushioned tiaras that had been left for Raina by the queen. He ran a finger along a thick band of diamonds and chuckled.
“It’s funny to think that a diamond this size in the human world would be considered legendary and kept under guard in a fancy museum. Yet there’s about six of them on this cart alone.”
Raina glanced at the trolley and shrugged.
“I was the one recovered the Centenary Star diamond when it was stolen last year. We were drafted in when international agencies couldn’t make the recovery. That was the biggest in our world and it’s barely the size of some of those.”
She poked around her makeup table, quietly hoping that the conversation was successfully derailed from her feelings and anything she didn’t want brought up.
“The Centenary Star was cut into about thirty smaller diamonds once it was recovered,” Logan murmured. Raina cocked her head and shrugged.
“I don’t know what happened to it once we handed it over. We were specifically recruited to do undercover and infiltration missions, the bosses weren’t about to keep us updated and risk revealing our identities,” she sighed. Sweeping a mascara brush across her eyelashes, she swore under her breath when a small dab of black appeared on her skin.
“Call it a twist of fate, but ten of those diamonds were put into the bracelet I gave you,” Logan chuckled. Raina paused briefly before continuing to apply a touch of dusky rose lipstick. Silence was necessary. Logan was teetering slowly back to their relationship despite her attempts to derail his thoughts.
As if summoned by Raina’s desperation for a distraction, the queen flew into her room in a hurry.
“Raina you’re coming with me now, most of the guests
have arrived and it’s time to be seated,” she panted, pushing her down into the chair to fix her hair into a loose braid, which was in turn pinned with tiny crystal flowers.
Raina was too relieved by her appearance to even object to being manhandled into the chair, and sat quietly as the queen arranged an opal and pearl adorned tiara onto her head. Aija scowled at her tattered fingernails, bitten down horribly close to bleeding.
Logan stood awkwardly as Taranis reappeared with Alicia, the latter seeming to have calmed down significantly judging by her soft smile and the curtsy she gave upon seeing the queen. Raina eyed her warily but said nothing as Aija patted her.
“All done, now you remember how to act around these people?” she asked, a hint of worry lacing her words, “play dumb, pretend you’re just a ditsy princess learning the ropes.” Raina nodded stiffly.
“Act like Logan, got it.” His glare followed her out of the room as Taranis snickered. Raina could already pick up on a cacophony of voices a distance away and her heartbeat fluttered.
All she had to do was act like a damsel in distress, hold her tongue and not square off against arrogant leaders who would undoubtedly look down on her. Somehow she found herself wishing she was on the front lines of war instead of having to deal with the crap waiting for her in that meeting.
As if she could hear her thoughts, Alicia squeezed her hand lightly.
“Are you good Phoenix?” she whispered. Raina squeezed her hand back and nodded.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she murmured, inhaling sharply as they turned towards the foyer. It almost looked like a different room altogether, with red carpet spanning the floor and huge bouquets and garlands of flowers adorning every possibly surface.
Several well-dressed figures turned to them as she made her way down the marble stairs, plucking a powder blue rose from the garland and sniffing it with a sweet beam.
“Alicia smell this it’s so beautiful,” she giggled, pushing the flower to her friend’s nose. Alicia smiled back at her, her eyes flashing with an expression that promised eternal torment. Raina sniffed the rose again and sneezed, drawing a chuckle from Aija.
“Careful not to get the dust on your dress dear,” she breathed, fading off as she spotted Alexei coming towards them with a Fae male wearing a shining gold crown. He smiled softly at Raina as she beamed brightly at him, her demeanour obviously unsettling him for a split second before he gestured to the male beside him.
“I’m sure you are familiar with my wife Queen Aija, and this is my daughter, Princess Raina. Raina, this is King Beryl of Skathi, our neighbours in the north,” he announced. Raina extended a hand bashfully as he brought his lips to her knuckles.
“It is an honour to finally meet, Your Highness,” he crooned, “I had heard you returned to your family recently. You have certainly grown into a fine lady.” Raina flashed him a striking grin and curtsied awkwardly.
“It’s an honour Your Majesty,” she simpered, ignoring the urge to retch at her own brown-nosing attitude. Alexei continued talking as Raina’s attention wavered. The wriggling worm of magic in her gut was stirring, despite the lack of provocation. She resisted the urge to fan herself as a prickling heat gathered in her gut and creeped along her skin. She patted Alicia with a toothy grin.
“If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” she murmured, tugging her friend towards the bathrooms. Logan caught her eye as she passed, the barely perceptible cock of his head sending her an unspoken message. She frowned gently and hurried her pace, shoving open a bathroom door and rushing to the sink. Not caring about her makeup, she shoved her mouth under the tap and drank from the stream of water as Alicia came behind her.
“What’s going on?” she hissed, her eyes scanning her for any sign of injury or illness. Raina gulped down the water.
“I can feel my magic rallying itself for no reason, and I started overheating. Also I’m getting really nauseous right now,” she murmured, clutching the sides of the sink. Alicia put her hand to Raina’s head and swore.
“You’re burning up like crazy Phoenix, I’ll go get someone,” she mumbled. Raina’s vision spotted and she swayed.
“Get my mom,” she whispered, before the blackness swept in and she dropped to the ground.
∞∞∞
Raina’s eyes fluttered open to find Aija holding her head on her lap, stroking her hair while a healer ran glowing hands over the length of her.
“What happened,” she mumbled faintly. Alicia patted her head with a cool, damp cloth and shushed her.
“You fainted Raina, how are you feeling?” she hushed, holding the cloth to her cheeks. Raina darted between her mother and Alicia before swallowing hard.
“Feels like a flu and my damn period slapped me at the same time,” she groaned, swearing softly under her breath at the heavy cramping forming in her abdomen. Aija cocked her head and Alicia smirked at her.
“When a human girl bleeds every month, we call them periods. I don’t know what it’s like for Fae,” she explained calmly. Aija’s mouth fell into a soft ‘o’ before looking down at Raina.
“Things might be a little different for you being a half-human and a half-fae,” she murmured, stroking her head lightly, “but with your age, the return of your magic and the biological implications of those factors, it’s possible you have reached your breaking.”
Raina scowled, but was interrupted by another searing cramp that radiated burning pain along her spine.
“You’ll have to explain that to me, I only know about human anatomy,” she strained, her skin prickling with heat once again. The healer helped her too her feet and handed her a small bottle of watery pink liquid.
“If you are breaking, this should help hold off the pain for a few hours at least until we can get you into a suitable hospital room,” she explained, her dark blue lips curving into a smile that showed off very pointed pearly teeth. Raina’s eyes widened.
“Wait, why do I need to go to hospital?” she shrieked, her voice rising sharply. The healer tilted her head sympathetically and patted her shoulder.
“Females tend to suffer through a tougher time than males when they break. You’ll be quite ill, over heated, aches and pains are common, and you’ll likely have your first cycle. Most females break before they’re twenty, even a half-fae such as yourself, but you were a human. It’s difficult to tell how this will affect you if you have already had a human cycle,” she explained. The healer handed Alicia another bottle to put in her apron as Raina downed the syrupy concoction in a single gulp.
“Will this at least let me sit comfortably during the summit?” she asked cautiously. The healer nodded and pointed to a small silver basket above the toilet.
“I’d suggest putting those on, they’re designed to hide the smell of blood should your cycle start soon, it won’t be distracting anyone during the meeting.” Aija nodded and rubbed Raina’s back.
“I will also have female guards assigned to you. Your cycle could be scented by the males and their primal instincts will kick in, they’ll flock to you like wyverns to molten rock.”
Raina’s mouth dropped open and she sighed.
“This is like something from Animal Kingdom.” She reached into the basket and pulled out a pair of thick shorts made from some kind of smooth fabric. She tugged them on under her dress and smoothed herself out. The cramps and aches were subsiding and she could already feel her temperature dropping slowly back to a comfortable state.
They made their way back out to rejoin the gathering swarm of royals and officials and were met by a concerned Logan and Taranis.
“Everything okay?” the captain mumbled quietly. Raina nodded and immediately slipped back into the scatter-brained persona as Kalen and JJ arrived, dressed in the royal guard’s uniforms to escort them to the summit. Raina found herself being led into a beautiful amphitheatre designed to look like the outdoors.
Heavy benches and tables seemed to be carved out of a mountain, geometrically arranged in incomplete circles around a l
arger stone table in the middle. A fake waterfall sat behind the head of the table, accompanied by a sparkling pond filled with tiny little fish. A purposely calming space to soothe the hot-headedness and fragile egos that accompanied leadership figures. Raina followed the queen down to the centre table, dramatically gasping and giggling at the fish in the pond. She dashed over to swirl her finger in the water, hearing the small chuckles of spectators doting on her.
Aija guided her back to sit beside the king, who beamed brightly at them both. Silence fell when he stood, giving a booming greeting and introduction before launching into the discussion regarding the barrier and the Gate, during which Raina looked thoroughly confused and bored. During her absent minded sweeps of the room, she caught the eye of several whispering royals and gave a small smile and a wave to Lord Filo, who blushed and waved back, much to the enjoyment of his rather flamboyantly dressed parents. Her movements had drawn a number of eyes to her, but they passed as merely silent amusement amongst the apparent boredom.
Truthfully she was trying anything to distract herself from butting in to the conversations and telling the military leaders that their plans were stupid and would cause more losses than necessary.
Taranis gave her a small smirk as she caught his eye, before it swiftly disappeared and was replaced with a scowl at the words spoken harshly by a young male.
“We should station more armies at the wall itself, or we’ll risk losing thousands of civilians when it falls,” his snarling voice snapped at an older female. Her tanned skin and scarred hands told stories of battle and hardship, but her eyes glistened with anticipation at the thought of war. Alexei shook his head defeatedly.
“Those demons will be pushing at the wall as soon as they sense a weakness. The armies will be slaughtered and the civilians with them as soon as the border falls. We would need to begin evacuating all settlements and moving the people inland. I am willing to ignore the land borders between countries in order to accommodate anyone in need of shelter,” he boomed, his eyes challenging the other crowned royals around the table. Raina felt a swell of pride at his words despite the scoff that came from further down.