“That,” I say, pushing past her into the bagel shop, “is exactly what I’m doing.”
I hear the click of the lock, followed by Val’s hurried footsteps as she chases after me to the kitchen. “This isn’t funny, butcher. I’m as good as jobless now, and it’s all your fault.”
“Well then...what do you say we go out with a bang?” I ask, advancing toward her ’til she’s sandwiched between the wall and myself. Her breathing is heavy, her heart hammering against my own.
Val places her hands on my shoulders, pushing gently. It’s her meager attempt at dodging my advances. Then it clicks, the reason I’m here, and her bony fingers clench around my biceps. “You heard back. I got it...I got the job, didn’t I?”
I trail my tongue up the curve of her neck, and she begins to shake. Her knees go weak and her hands clutch the front of my shirt. “Maybe...” I whisper into her ear.
Before I know it, her legs are wrapped around my waist. Her arms around my neck. Her fingers tangled in my hair. “Butcher...”
“Yes, Miss Cooter?”
“Ready to make our first sex tape?” Valerie darts her eyes over to the camera that’s pointed directly at us. I swear those could be the most beautiful words anyone has ever said to me.
I’m not what anyone would refer to as religious by any stretch of the word, but I have a strong urge to drop to my knees and thank the man upstairs for the gift that is Valerie Cooter. What did I do to deserve this life?
“Fuck yeah,” I groan, squeezing her ass.
“Follow my lead,” she whispers, untangling her legs and sliding down my body. She walks over to the sink, gripping the edge and bending at the waist. Then she turns her head, eyeing me over her shoulder. “Butcher,” she moans in true porn star fashion, and my dick stands at attention. “Stay right there until I call for you.”
I nod, swallowing hard and staring with my jaw damn near sitting on the floor as she flips the back of her dress up, exposing herself fully to me as well as to the camera. Horny Val is so brazen and so fucking hot.
The sexy little vixen dips a hand between her legs and begins running a finger up and down the length of her pussy, spreading her arousal from one end to the other. She pauses to circle her clit when she reaches the top and then dips it into her tight hole on the way back down. Loud moans bounce off the walls as she starts to pump in and out. She’s circling those hips, fucking her fingers. This is at once the hottest and most excruciating sexual experience of my life.
Fuck. I want to crawl on my hands and knees over to her and lick every drop of the cum that I can clearly see glistening on her sex. I’m not even sure I’m still breathing as I unbuckle my belt, unfasten my jeans, and free my painfully hard cock. Fisting my hand around my erection, I jerk up and down, imagining it’s my dick sliding into her slick cunt, and that those moans are for me.
“N-now, butcher,” she cries, increasing her speed. “I need you. Oh God,” she moans, riding her hand, squeezing it between her thighs. “I need you to fuck me!”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I’m there, sliding Johnson along her folds. “Tell me what you want, pretty girl,” I groan, playing it up for our audience.
“I want...I want you to put your brat in my bagel,” she yells, thrusting back when she feels the head at her entrance. “Yes!” she screams. Her pussy clenches around my cock. It’s so slick and warm, and she’s already so close to falling over the edge.
I can’t even laugh at the ridiculous game she’s playing. I’m so fucking turned on I can’t see straight. “You like that?” I grab her hair, yanking her head back as I thrust deep inside of her. “You’re so wet for me,” I husk, reaching around to tweak her nipples.
“Harder,” she cries, slamming into me. “It’s so big...Oh God, it’s so deep.” I can tell by the way her pussy is tightening around my dick that her game is over. Her control is lost as she frantically chases her release.
The cameras now forgotten, we fuck like savages—like animals. The build-up was too much for either of us to regain any semblance of control. I’m pulling her hair and slapping her ass. Her nails are breaking my skin.
The only sounds I hear are my heart pounding in my ears and her muffled moans and cries. There’s an unfamiliar tug in my chest as I spill my release inside of the woman I love.
Love? What? Wait...Where’d that come from?
A little more than freaked out by my revelation, I hold her in silence, feathering kisses along her neck. I rub her nipples until the aftershocks subside. I’m lost in the afterglow until Valerie pulls away and finally breaks the silence.
“Hey, Cruella,” she calls toward the camera, naked as the day she was born. “Consider that my resignation.”
Mic drop.
CHAPTER TEN
“YOU REALLY DON’T have to cook for me, butcher,” Val whines, following me around Pete’s Meats while I switch off all the lights so we can finally head home. “We could go out to eat again...”
“Why so nervous, babe?” I ask, chuckling to myself as I recall the way I fed her like a toddler the last time I invited her over for dinner. “I’m a great cook.” I’m a terrible liar.
It’s been a few weeks since Val started working for my buddy Jesse and I still haven’t mustered up the courage to tell her how I feel about her. Tonight’s the night, and my fucking hands are sweating just thinking about it.
She stares up at me while huffing warm air into her hands as I twist the key into the lock. Her nose is Rudolph red and her hair blows wildly in the cold breeze. She reminds me of an Eskimo, all bundled up in her quilted coat. “What’re you planning to feed me?” she stammers, her teeth chattering.
Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I pull her into my body to help warm her up as we make our way across the deserted parking lot. “Sir Loin,” I answer, placing her hand over the bulge in my jeans.”
Valerie gasps, yanking her hand away and punching me in the shoulder. “You’re so gross.”
“Bagels and brats,” I choke out in homage to her resignation.
She sucks in her lips, trying not to laugh as we both climb into the car. I can feel her eyes on me as I crank the ignition. When I’m turning out of the lot, she finally snorts out a laugh, unable to contain it any longer. “I can’t believe I said that.”
“Man, that was awesome...I wish we could get our hands on that video.”
“What?” she shrieks. “Why? No...God, no. I’m so embarrassed. I don’t know what got into me.”
“My meat!” I cough.
“Really mature, butcher.”
§
“Welcome home!” Jerome greets as soon as we walk through the door.
“Hey, Jerome.” Val wraps him in a hug like she didn’t just see him a couple of hours ago. Girls are so weird. “It smells really good in here,” she admits, not even trying to disguise her surprise. “What’s for dinner?”
“Tube steak,” Jerome answers without even the slightest hint of a smile as he helps her out of her coat.
“I swear you two are the same person,” Val huffs, shouldering past him on her way into the kitchen. “Wow,” she says, stopping short and taking in her surroundings.
Jerome and I went all out, making the place fancy for tonight. There’s a white tablecloth with a single long-stem red rose sitting in a glass vase in the center. He must’ve lit the candlesticks when he heard us pulling into the driveway.
“Miss Cooter,” Jerome says, pulling out her chair, “please have a seat.”
She eyes him strangely before looking to me for confirmation. When I nod my head, she knows it’s safe. With that man, you just never know.
“Mr. Johnson.” My best friend waves his hand toward the chair across from hers, and I walk over to join her.
“What is going on?” my girl mumbles under her breath.
“You’ll see.” I wink, filling our wine glasses.
“Wine? Since when do you drink wine, butcher?”
“Since right now,” I laugh.
“Jesus, babe, are you trying to ruin this?”
Her face pales. “No...I’m just...I don’t understand. This isn’t you. This isn’t us. I don’t want you to feel like you need to impress me, Pete. I don’t need fancy dinners, and to be honest...Jerome playing waiter is just really weirding me out.”
Fuck. I’m obviously going about this whole thing all wrong. I thought girls wanted grand gestures and romance. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make tonight special for you.”
“What’s so special about tonight?” she asks.
“Jerome and I wanted to ask you something...”
She looks over to Jerome, who is making his way back to the table with our salads. “Jerome...”
“Yes?”
“Go fix yourself a salad and get your goofy ass over here and eat dinner with us, please.”
Once we’re all situated at the table, Val breaks the long and awkward silence. “Out with it. What’s this all about?”
I’m about to open my mouth when Jerome cuts me off with mischief in his eyes. “Valerie, Pete and I had a long talk about this, and we would like to ask you...if you’d be willing to have a three-way.” Oh, no he didn’t.
Red wine shoots from Val’s mouth. She chokes. “I’m sorry, you want to what?”
I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, and decide to keep my mouth shut and watch this play out. Not that I have any plans to let that fucker put his hands anywhere near her or my dick for that matter...but I’m thoroughly enjoying watching her squirm.
“I know this is probably a little shocking, but it’s something we’ve always wanted to experience, and we think you’re the one, Miss Cooter. How do you feel about getting double-stuffed?”
Her jaw drops and she turns from Jerome to me. I’m enjoying her misery way too much.
“Double the pleasure, double the fun?”
“This...this is what you two idiots were buttering me up for? Holy fuck. I need some air.” She gets up from her chair, ready to run away, and from the looks of it, never return. “I-I need to go.”
Jerome and I both burst into maniacal laughter. I grab her arm to keep her from leaving and pull her into my lap, burying my face in her neck until I can speak. “You should see your face right now,” I howl.
Her elbow flies back, jabbing me in the chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I hate you both so much.”
“Calm your tits,” Jerome says, “we’re just fuckin’ with ya.”
Val tries to move from my lap, but I’m not convinced she isn’t planning to haul ass as soon as she’s free, so I tighten my grip. “What we were really planning to ask before Jerome got a little carried away is if you would consider moving in.”
Her body relaxes against mine. “You want me to live here? In this house...with the two of you?”
“Uh, yes?” Isn’t that what I just asked her?
She’s quiet for a moment then, as if we’re not waiting on pins and needles for her answer, she hops up and walks over to the stove. Grabbing the oven mitts from the counter, she pulls the oven open and lifts the lasagna pan out. Before setting it on the trivet, she wafts the pan under her nose, taking a long sniff. “This looks and smells amazing, boys.”
Jerome and I give each other confused looks as we watch her dish out our plates and carry them over to the table one by one.
As if nothing is untoward, she breaks off a piece with her fork and brings the bite to her mouth, blowing on it before sliding it off with her teeth.
“Mmmm,” she moans. “Oh God. This. Is. Soooooo good!” Her eyes close as she savors the taste. After a few more bites, she looks up, seeing that neither of us has touched our food. “Uh, are you two just going to sit there and watch me eat?”
“Yes. That was really fucking hot, Miss Cooter,” Jerome replies. “Can you do it again?”
“Would you fucking stop,” I growl, kicking him in the shin under the table. “I’m so sorry, baby,” I say, turning to Val. How did this night turn into such a fucking disaster? There’s no way she’s going to agree to live in this circus.
Loud laughter bellows from deep within her chest.
All I can do is stare at her. I have absolutely no fucking clue what is happening anymore.
“This is going to be so much fun,” Valerie chimes, coming down from her laughter.
“Wait...is that a yes?”
“Of course I’ll move in. I just had to make sure the two of you hadn’t been abducted by aliens first. Please don’t ever change to try to impress me.” Her hand reaches across the table for mine.
“You’ve got it, pretty girl,” I say, lifting her hand and bringing it to my mouth for a kiss.
“Who made the veggie lasagna?” she asks, eyeing the two of us.
I can’t lie to her. “We uh...Jerome picked it up at a restaurant in Brenner,” I bite my lip, giving her the puppy dog eyes.
“Nuh-uh, Johnson, you ain’t putting all the blame on me.” He turns to face Valerie. “Pete ordered it. I just picked it up and followed his instructions. I take full responsibility for the ménage a trios. That offer, by the way, is always on the table...in case you change your mind.” Fucker. “But the food thing was all him.” He points a finger at me, nodding at Val.
She giggles. “I approve...Now, Pete, take me to bed. And, Jerome?”
“Yes, ma’am?” he asks eagerly.
“Stay the fuck away.”
§
“Right there. Ohhhh,” Valerie moans, squirming beneath me with one leg curled around my waist and the other resting on my shoulder.
Sweat beads on my forehead as I rock in and out of her wet pussy. When I feel her walls tightening around my dick and her body begin to convulse, I know she’s close.
“Come with me, pretty girl,” I groan, my cock twitching with my impending release. Slipping a hand between us, I begin to rub her clit while sucking the nipple of one of her breasts into my mouth. The barrage of sensations pulls her over the edge.
“Butcher!” she screams, fisting my hair. “I’m coming! Oh God. Oh...I’m coming!”
“I’m coming too!” Jerome shouts from his room on the other side of the wall just as I give one final thrust, exploding inside of her.
Valerie’s hands cover her mortified face. The force of her laughter pushes Johnson out and instantly I want back in. I will never get enough of her.
Too spent to even respond to the idiot in the room next door, I collapse beside my new bedmate, pulling her into the crook of my arm. I trail my fingers up and down her back softly.
There’s a knock at my bedroom door, which we both ignore. “Still better than porn,” Jerome shouts. “So happy you said yes, Miss Val. My dick sends his thanks.” And then he’s gone.
“What the hell did I get myself into?” Val asks, her body shuddering with laughter.
“Are you having regrets?” I ask, pulling her hair back and placing a kiss on her forehead.
“Not a single one,” she assures me. Turning onto her stomach, she rests her breasts on my chest and stares into my eyes. All laughter and jokes aside, I see the love I feel for her reflected back at me, and I suddenly have the courage to say the words that have been sitting on my tongue for weeks.
“Valerie?”
“Yeah?”
“I was right.” Tucking a finger beneath her chin, I lift her face to kiss her plump lips.
“Mmm,” she moans. “About what?”
“Destiny.”
“You know, I think maybe you were.” She yawns, laying her head back down.
“One day a butcher met a vegan,” I say, running my fingers through her long strawberry blond hair. “And then they fell in love.”
Her head pops back up, not missing a beat. “What are you—Did you ju—”
“I’m saying I love you, Valerie Cooter.”
Her eyes well with tears. “I love you too, Pete Johnson.”
THE END
Enjoyed Gina, Spencer, Cooper and Jeffery plus a bunch of funny but bad-
ass kids? Continue reading for an excerpt of Boomerangers, Spencer and Cooper’s story.
Plus excerpts from Bashful by Lo Brynolf and Coming Up Roses by LK Farlow
Excerpt from Boomerangers, Spencer and Cooper’s story
* * *
ONE
SPENCER
I love sex. I love the power, the intimacy, the euphoria it brings.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not a slut. God, the mere thought of the word makes me cringe. I’m simply a woman unashamed of her desires. A woman who knows her own body and wants you to know yours just as well.
For instance, did you know that the clitoris has roughly twice the nerve endings as a penis? In fact, it is the only body part, male or female, that exists solely for pleasure. That’s right, ladies. Sex is supposed to feel good. If it doesn’t, call my office and make an appointment. I’ll see what I can do to help.
No, I’m not running some scandalous operation. I am a family psychologist specializing in sex therapy, or more commonly known simply as a sex therapist, and I love my job. There are few things I find more rewarding than knowing I’ve helped an individual or couple learn to find pleasure in what I consider to be one of the most vital of ways.
There are many reasons, beyond the usual emotional connection, that make a healthy sexual relationship important. Sex contributes to your overall well-being. It has magical powers. I’m serious. It’s scientifically proven that sex releases hormones that both calm and relieve stress. It is a natural antidepressant as well as pain killer. Therefore, next time you feel like pushing your man away because you have a headache, consider taking one for the team. By the time you reach orgasm, that headache will have been long forgotten. I swear by it.
So, if I’m such an expert, you may ask yourselves how I ended up here. A thirty-three-year-old woman with three children by two different men—not presently married to either. Stop judging me. Some problems can’t be solved in the bedroom, and apparently, I attract those kinds of problems.
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