They’d barely spoken much for days because of their crazy schedules, and Deirdre just now realized how much she missed their closeness.
“Hey,” he said, turning around.
“You have a game?”
“Yeah, didn’t I tell you?”
“You might’ve.” She sank onto the bed and thought longingly about a shower, but she was too tired to move. So she simply flopped back.
The mattress dipped with Tommy’s weight as he crawled across to her. His face hovered over hers with a smile. “Wanna come watch me play?”
Her instinct was to say hell no because she was so tired, but his expression was filled with hope. He must’ve noticed her indecision because he lowered his mouth and said, “I think I can coax a yes from you.”
He kissed her mouth softly, caressing her tongue and teasing her lips. Deirdre’s eyes fluttered closed.
She sighed in relaxation. Lord, she missed this. Hard to believe it had only been a few days with nothing more than a quick kiss good night. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she pulled him close.
Tommy groaned and kissed her neck. But then he pulled away. “As much as I love this, I gotta go. Come with me.”
With his body pressed tight against hers, she would agree to anything. “I need to change. I’ll meet you there.”
He climbed off the bed and tossed his keys on the dresser. “Take my car.”
“I don’t yet have a license.”
“So don’t get pulled over.”
“I’m not driving your car. I’ll take the bus and come back with you.” When he just glared at her, she added, “It’s still daylight. Rush hour means plenty of people. I’ll be fine.”
He looked out the window, where the sun shone brightly, barely moving down in the sky. Deirdre pushed herself off the comfort of the bed to prevent herself from falling asleep. “I’ll be there before the game starts. Go warm up and I’ll be sitting next to Caitlyn when you take the ice.”
He looked unsure, but nodded. “Be careful and carry the pepper spray.”
She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “I love that you’re so protective, but it’s only a bus. It’s not nearly as scary as you think.”
“This weekend, I’ll take you to practice driving so you can get your license. Then we can stop having this argument.”
“Go to your game.” She rubbed her hands on his chest. “I’ll be there soon.”
She turned away and forced her feet to take her to the bathroom. She turned on the water and peeled off her clothes. Her muscles were tight and sore. A few weeks of not working and it was like her body forgot how to do it regularly. Washing slowly under the hot spray, she tried to remember that she had little time to dawdle.
When she went back to the bedroom, there was no sign of Tommy. A quick look out the window told her he was gone. As she grabbed some clothes, her mobile bleeped with a text.
Maggie’s name appeared with the text. GNO tomorrow.
Deirdre’s tired brain scrambled to figure out what that meant, but the text was quickly followed by another.
Girls Night – O’Learys and Callahans. It’ll be fun. I’ll pick you up at 7.
Deirdre remembered the last time she’d gone out with Maggie and Shane’s sisters and her stomach revolted.
I’m working tomorrow. She responded.
It’s the weekend. Let’s have fun.
The weekend meant little to Deirdre because she worked whatever days she was needed. Which reminded her that although she had Saturday off, she had to work Sunday morning. She and Tommy would lose their one day to sleep in together.
She had no desire to go out. Lord, she was an old woman.
We’ll see. She told Maggie. She wasn’t ready to commit to anything.
I take that as a yes. Cara and Alyson will be happy. They’ve been asking about you.
Deirdre didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t comment. She finished dressing. If she had to dodge Maggie tomorrow because she was too tired to go out, she would. For most of her life, her social calendar remained blank. Suddenly, she was practically fighting off invitations, and the thought of being that busy boggled her mind. A quiet night, a cup of tea, and Netflix sounded better than any of the other plans.
The pressure and responsibility of a large family was something she’d thought she was escaping by staying in America. Looked like she traded one set of problems for another.
She released a heavy breath and closed her eyes. Things were better here than in Ireland. She had a new family and yes, they were as demanding as the one she’d left, but her life was good. She was working a job she enjoyed. Once she got back into a routine, her life would settle.
The short pep talk helped. She left the house and walked to the bus stop at a leisurely pace to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine.
* * *
Jimmy was trying to help. Or so Tommy kept telling himself. Jimmy had come over to run Tommy and Deirdre through sample immigration interview questions. And Deirdre wasn’t faring so well. She’d guessed Tommy had been born in Chicago, but it was painfully obvious that it had been a guess. She had no idea what kind of car he drove, other than it made funny noises, but Tommy attributed that to her being a girl and not caring about cars. She didn’t know his middle name—Keiran, which he never publicized because he hated it. Deirdre had smiled and said she liked it.
Leaning back in his chair and straightening his pile of index cards, Jimmy said, “Let’s go for an easy one. Where did you first meet?”
He pinned Deirdre with his eyes. Her back stiffened and she said, “At Blackstone’s bakery. I was working when he came in—”
“Stop,” Jimmy interrupted with a hand in the air. “You can’t say that.”
“That’s where we met,” Tommy said.
“So you want to tell an immigration officer that she came here to visit, but was working illegally before jumping at the chance to marry you.”
The accusation was still there right under the surface. Like Jimmy expected Deirdre to fold under his interrogation and admit that she’d only married Tommy to get a green card.
“So we’ll say that I saw you coming out of the O’Leary house. It’s close to true. I saw you there plenty of times.”
Deirdre’s hand came to rest on his thigh. “But you hadn’t spoken to me. I had no idea.”
“Why can’t the conversation we had at Blackstone’s have happened in front of your house?” To Tommy, it seemed simple enough.
“I’m not a fan of lying,” Jimmy said. “But you need something. Figure it out later. Tell me about that first meeting. Who asked who out? Did you exchange numbers?”
Deirdre smiled. “Tommy asked me out, and I declined because I had a boyfriend.”
“Then how did you get together?”
Tommy leaned forward to answer, but Deirdre stopped him. “Tommy is relentless in a subtle way. I was out with my cousins and Tommy’s sister, Norah. We went to a bar that Tommy frequents after hockey so that he would drive us home. It was a nice night, and Tommy and I danced. He drove me home and asked if I wanted to go to the St. Patrick’s Day parade with him. While I declined again, I did invite him to come to O’Leary’s Pub to visit.”
The answer seemed to satisfy Jimmy. “Where did you go on your first date?”
“Dave and Buster’s,” Tommy said. “We hung out and played games.”
“What about your boyfriend?”
Deirdre inhaled through her nose and swallowed. “He told me to go out with Tommy. Said I should have fun while I was here.”
Jimmy’s eyebrow arched. That was a hard one to swallow, but given that not long after that, he’d broken up with Deirdre, it wasn’t too surprising.
“And when did the relationship become romantic?”
Deirdre’s face reddened and Tommy patted her hand to put her at ease. “I kissed her that night after Dave and Buster’s. Not long after, she came to my house drunk and wanted to sleep with me. Her boyfriend had
dumped her and she wanted to have sex.”
Deirdre shook her head and stared at the floor.
“Did you?”
Although her head stayed down, Deirdre answered. “No, Jimmy. Tommy was a perfect gentleman and took care of me while I was sick because I drank too much. He let me sleep in his bed and helped me nurse my hangover the following morning.”
“When did you sleep together?”
Deirdre shot out of her chair. “I can’t do this.” She ran upstairs.
Tommy and Jimmy both leaned back in their chairs.
“You’re in trouble, man,” Jimmy said.
“She’s private, Jimmy. She’s not going to be comfortable talking about sex with you.”
“She might have to talk to a total stranger about it. You guys brought this on yourselves. But she’s a mess. Do you do anything but fuck? She doesn’t seem to know anything about you.”
“She knows plenty. You didn’t ask the right questions.”
“I asked the questions they’ll ask.”
“Leave the questions here. We’ll work on them. We have time. Our interview isn’t until later in the summer. We know each other, Jimmy. You said yourself that you didn’t have any more doubts.”
“Not about you.”
Tommy clenched his jaw and sought the words he needed for Jimmy. “We belong together. This is a real marriage, and the immigration guy will see that.”
“I hope so.”
Jimmy went into the kitchen and came back with a couple of beers. “You going to check on her?”
Tommy shook his head as he twisted the cap on the bottle. “She needs space. Pushing her when she’s upset won’t get me anywhere. I’ll drink my beer, then go up.”
* * *
Deirdre had had enough. She’d thought having Sean walk in on her in a compromising position had been bad. That was the tip of the iceberg. Jimmy’s so-called help was tearing her apart. While he wasn’t an ass about it, it was tiring. As if she needed Jimmy—or anyone else for that matter—to point out how little she knew about Tommy.
Everything about being in Chicago was becoming overwhelming. From Maggie wanting a regular girls’ night out to Tommy wanting her at all of his games, it was too much. And while she was loving her new job, they’d started expecting more of her, giving her more responsibility, including allowing her to use her own recipes to create a limited special of the day.
At least, back home with her family, she’d known exactly what was expected of her. Here, it felt like something new pulled at her every day.
When she got upstairs, she stood in front of the open window and let the breeze tickle her warm skin. She was on edge in a way she hadn’t been in a long time. The only person who’d excelled at talking her down had always been Rory. She sat on her bed, facing the window and waning sunlight, and opened her laptop with a short prayer that he would answer her call.
Her computer rang as it tried to connect. Her camera opened and suddenly she was staring at Rory’s smiling face.
“Deirdre, love, how are you?”
The enormous relief she felt surprised her. She’d missed Rory. With everything that had happened, she’d lost her best friend. “I just . . .”
His face grew serious. “What’s wrong?”
“I needed to talk to you.”
“It’s a bit overdue, don’t you think? You went and got yourself married and didn’t invite me.”
“How did you know?”
“Brendan called. He said he spoke to you. Dropped the bomb that you’d married your American. Then he asked me to come back to the pub.”
“That’s excellent. I’m happy he did that. He was an ass to fire you in the first place.”
“What did you need to talk about?” His eyes filled with worry.
Deirdre looked to the window, but not really to the outside. She focused on the mesh of the screen and then the flutter of the curtain. “I don’t know. I feel overwhelmed.”
“Getting married might do that.”
She looked back at the computer. “Things felt like they were getting easier, and I’m happy with Tommy. He makes me feel so much.”
“But?”
“But he wants so much in return, you know? Everyone wants me to be part of things and I know they do it out of kindness, but it’s overwhelming. When I was home, I didn’t have to think about anything. I just went about my business.”
Rory nodded. “But you weren’t happy, love. You were caught inside your own head and you didn’t let anyone in.”
Anger fired in her chest. “That’s not true. I let you in.”
His smile was small and a little sad. “Not really. Looking back now, I can see it. How close did you let me get if you truly had no idea I was gay? I believed you knew, and I let you take the easy route because we were both hiding.”
Everything he said hurt, mostly because it was true. “This is hard.”
“It’s hard because Tommy doesn’t let you hide.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“I don’t know if I can do this, Rory.”
Tommy stood behind Deirdre, and she was oblivious to his existence. While it might be considered rude to eavesdrop, he couldn’t help himself when he heard a man’s voice. Hearing her use this douchebag’s name had him seeing red. He took a step.
“Deirdre, love—”
Tommy lost it. No way would this asshole talk to Deirdre like he had some place in her life after what he’d done. “What the fuck is going on?”
Deirdre spun, the computer tilting on her lap. “Tommy—”
“You don’t know if you can do what, Deirdre? Stay married to me and talk to him?” He jabbed a finger at the screen. “Fuck that.”
He charged forward and slammed the lid on the laptop.
“It’s not—”
The words barely slipped past her lips before Tommy sailed the computer through the screen and out the window. A distant clank and thud was all that followed as they both stared at the broken screen of the window. For a second, they gaped. Tommy had no idea what had come over him. That was a move from Sean’s playbook, not his.
Deirdre jumped up. “Who do you think you are? You’ve no right to take my computer and throw it out the window.”
Like she had reason to be pissed at him when he’d just caught her talking to her ex? “How the fuck could you talk to him? In my house?”
“He’s my friend.”
“No, Deirdre, he’s your ex-boyfriend. A man you thought you were going to marry.”
“Some nerve you have. You have random girls calling your phone. Every woman you know has access to you.”
He stepped closer, rage making him shake. “Wrong again, Cupcake.” He took her hand and slapped his phone in her palm. “Check it.”
She stepped back, eyes wide, but defiant. She glanced at the phone. “I don’t know your passcode.”
“Sure, you do. It’s your birthday.”
She pressed in the numbers and scrolled through the contacts. She had no idea what she was looking at.
“That day Chrissy called, I deleted every last one. The women in that phone are clients and friends and family.”
She handed the phone back. “It still gives you no right to destroy my computer.”
“You think I’m going to sit by and listen to you get it on with your ex?”
“We were not—”
“I heard, Deirdre.”
Her jaw opened slightly and he waited for her defense.
“You don’t get to choose my friends just because I married you.”
That fucking shot did it.
“You know what, you’re right. I don’t get to pick your friends, but I’m sure as hell not going to be married to someone who’s going to sneak behind my back to be with her ex. No one else gets to be in my bed.”
Her eyes filled with tears and his heart ached, but he held on to his anger. She straightened her shoulders and pressed her lips together.
“You want him, you need to go.” Tomm
y wanted nothing more than for her to choose him, to say that Rory didn’t matter. But he didn’t get that wish.
“Then enjoy your bed. Alone.” She walked around him, grabbed her backpack, and stuffed it with clothes. As she slung it over her shoulder and bent to pick up her purse, she added, “Rory is my friend. He cares about my happiness. It was a conversation no different from what you might have with Karla.”
“Wrong again, Cupcake. Karla doesn’t love me.”
“The only love Rory feels for me is that of a friend.”
Tommy snorted. How dumb did she think he was? “You know, Jimmy warned me this whole time. Told me to question why you married me. He was sure there was something more at play. I just refused to see it.”
A tear streaked down her face. “You knew what we were when you asked me to marry you. I’ve never lied.”
Her words stabbed deep. No mention of caring for him, much less loving him. And her emphasis clearly meant she thought he’d lied. “I never lied to you. I asked you to marry me because I didn’t want you to leave, but I’ve loved you the whole time.”
Tears flowed freely down her cheeks but she didn’t back down. “If you truly loved me, you wouldn’t accuse me of such things.” Her next breath hitched. “You certainly wouldn’t go out of your way to hurt me.”
Then she left. Quickly and quietly. Hurt her? What the fuck was he supposed to do? Hell, yeah, he’d wanted to hurt her. Her quiet confessions to Rory had crushed him. As he turned to close the window, he saw her pause briefly at the sidewalk to poke a toe at the laptop before crossing the street to her aunt’s house.
Tommy stood in the window, waiting for her to look back to give him some sign that she didn’t mean anything that just happened because he was already filling to the brim with regret.
But she didn’t even spare him a glance.
That alone said more than any of the words they’d hurled at each other.
* * *
By the time Deirdre fumbled with the key and unlocked the door to Eileen’s house, she could barely see because the tears were coming so fast. Thank goodness Aunt Eileen wasn’t sitting in the living room. Deirdre couldn’t face her right now. Deirdre stole quickly up the stairs to her old bedroom. Before turning on the light, she took a look out the window across the street. Tommy was no longer in their bedroom. Correction—his bedroom.
Through Your Eyes Page 28