A Ranch to Keep

by Claire McEwen

  She couldn’t answer, with the lump that was in her throat right now, the tears of shame threatening to fall. How could she do this to herself? How could she let herself lose control like this, especially when she was already so bruised from Mark?

  Jack went on. “I don’t want to be the guy you have sex with just because you can. I’d want it to mean a lot more than that.”

  Samantha kept watching the lake, trying to will herself to listen to his words, to understand what he was saying, rather than just lose it because of the voice in her head that kept reminding her that Mark hadn’t wanted her and now Jack didn’t, either.

  When she didn’t answer he went on. “But that can’t happen if you’re confused about what you want. And you seem a little confused right now, Samantha. You just got out of a big relationship and you just inherited a ranch. And then there’s whatever is going on between you and Rob Morgan. It seems like you need to take some time to figure out what you want, and who you want to be with.

  His words were so unexpected, it took a moment for them to sink in. When they did, her laugh was sharp and mirthless. He thought she was the one playing the field? Outrage cooled her blood and doused the fire she’d felt just a moment before. “Wow, you have quite an opinion of me, Jack. Rob Morgan? You think I went on a date with Rob Morgan while I was still in a relationship with Mark?”

  “Well, I don’t know, Samantha. You kissed me, and you were in a relationship. And a few hours later you were out to dinner with Rob.”

  “No, you kissed me, and I told you it couldn’t happen again!” Anger helped to bury the embarrassment and the rejection. “And it wouldn’t have happened again except that I am now free to kiss whoever I want.”

  “Like Rob...”

  “Who, for your information, is the lawyer for my grandmother’s will, and not someone I want to date. Or kiss.”

  “I saw you holding hands in the restaurant,” he reminded her quietly.

  “He put his hand on mine for one brief moment! I think he was trying to be sympathetic about my grandmother or something. You just had the fine timing to walk in at that instant! And obviously you have a very low opinion of me if you judged me so quickly!”

  She just wanted to get back to the ranch. So much for trying to be like Tess. She’d finally worked up the nerve to have a fling, and Jack didn’t even want her. Worse than that, he saw her as some sort of confused nymphomaniac.

  “I’d like to go back now,” she told him.

  “Samantha, please don’t take this the wrong way. I’m trying to be a gentleman here. I just want to be sure your motives are clear. I was wrong about Rob, I apologize. But sleeping with me a couple days after a breakup just doesn’t make sense.”

  She could hear the logic in his words but all she could feel was the rejection. “Thank you for trying to be the gentleman. I appreciate the effort. Can we just not talk about this anymore? Ever? In fact, can we just not talk at all right now?” He gave her a long look, his eyes dark and unreadable. She turned away and silently pulled on her jeans and shirt. She pulled on her boots and gathered up her things. Jack did the same and they walked over to saddle the horses.

  It was a long, long ride home. Samantha kept Apple on a tight rein and made sure she walked slowly enough to keep a good distance between her and Jack. He made no attempt at conversation, which was fine because she was pretty busy talking to herself. Well, more like lecturing herself about taking such a stupid risk today and trying to be someone she wasn’t. About letting herself be talked into going riding when she should’ve kept her focus on the ranch and her work.

  It won’t happen again, she promised silently. I let my guard down with Mark, and now with Jack—and the results have been disastrous. Live and learn, the saying goes, and I’m learning, once again, that it’s best just to keep things simple and safe.

  Samantha listened to the soothing rhythm of Apple’s hooves on the trail and resolved to focus on the tangible things in life—her work, the promotion she’d been striving for, seeing friends and, of course, selling the ranch.

  By the time they reached Jack’s barn, she was composed, at least outwardly. Work, promotion, friends, ranch. She repeated it in her head like a mantra as she helped pull Apple’s saddle off. She repeated it as she thanked Jack politely and said goodbye. And she repeated it again as she worked late into the night, scrubbing the old farmhouse until her arms ached and fatigue had dried up the last of her tears.

  * * *

  THE KNOCKING NOISE seemed to be coming from a long way away. Lifting her head, Samantha looked around the sunlit living room, then buried her head back into the couch pillow trying to remember why she was sleeping here. She’d cleaned into the early hours of the morning, and she must have just tipped over onto the couch and fallen asleep at some point. She peered over the edge of the couch and there were her broom and dustpan, lying just below.

  The knock came again and she sat up, glancing at the clock in annoyance. Who was bothering her at this early hour of... She blinked. Noon? She’d slept until noon? The expletive she muttered under her breath was uncharacteristic of her, but so was oversleeping.

  She jumped up to answer the door, trying not to think about how she’d look, rumpled and half asleep, when she yanked it open. When she saw Jack on the doorstep, she closed it again. Leaning against the old wood, she tried to come to terms with the fact that her day was starting with more embarrassment—it was becoming her most common state of mind.

  She pulled the door open again silently and watched Jack looking her over in surprise, taking in the bare feet, the disheveled hair and the throw pillow she just realized she was inexplicably cradling in her arms. Jack reached over and took something off her shoulder and handed it to her. It was a feather from the couch.

  “Sleep well?” he asked.

  “Yeah...no...sort of.” All the memories from yesterday came flooding back, humiliating her, angering her, flustering her. She tried to ignore them and press on. “I fell asleep on the couch...what are you doing here?”

  “Betty’s party is today. Did you forget that I was going to take you?”

  She’d completely forgotten. Another first for her, right up there with oversleeping. But after yesterday, the last thing she wanted was to spend the day with Jack. “Look, why don’t you just go without me? I don’t want to make you late, and I don’t really need to go. I mean, it was really sweet of Betty to invite me, but I’m sure she was just being polite.”

  “Samantha, Betty loved your grandmother like the mom she never had. She listened to Ruth tell stories about you for years. So yeah, you could skip it, but she hasn’t talked of much else all week. She wants to get to know you. Not to guilt you into going or anything.” He leaned on the door frame and he was gorgeous and he didn’t want her and Samantha knew she had to come up with some reason not to go.

  “It’s just, after yesterday, it just seems like we shouldn’t be around each other, Jack. It’s awkward and embarrassing, and honestly, I have several different dates with several different men lined up for this afternoon and...”

  “Okay, I get it. I was a jerk yesterday.” Jack gave her a wry smile. “I was hoping we could talk about that for a few minutes, actually.”

  A feeling of dread started in her stomach—she’d be much happier if they never talked again. “No, let’s not talk about it anymore. I think everything was made really clear yesterday.”

  “I was up all night, thinking about what happened. Can you please give me a chance to apologize?”

  She took a closer look at him. An edge of stubble framed his usually clean-shaven face. Shadows gathered under the piercing blue of his eyes. He looked genuinely tired. She nodded reluctantly. “I can’t face it without coffee, though. Come into the kitchen and I’ll make some. It’s instant, would you like some?”

  He grimaced. “I guess I can survive
instant, but I think you’ll need a coffeemaker if you’re going to spend any amount of time out here.”

  “Believe me, I know.” She put the kettle on and spooned the black crystals into two mugs. Then she leaned against the counter waiting for the water to boil. “Okay, Jack, let’s get this over with.”

  He shook his head at her dark humor. “All right, I’ll make it quick. I’m sorry I offended you, Samantha, with my comment about Rob. Maybe I was a little jealous of him the other night and that might have made me speak a little too harshly.”

  Samantha raised an eyebrow at him and he looked sheepish.

  “Okay, way too harshly. So I’m really sorry about that. And I’m sorry about whatever happened with Mark. No matter what the circumstances, breakups suck.”

  She smiled at his blunt term. “Yes, they do.”

  “I guess I wanted to tell you that I was there myself, a couple years ago. I was married, actually, briefly. She hated it here and so she left.”

  “Where is she now?” Samantha asked.

  “New York. Where she found true love with a Forbes-list billionaire and is living very happily ever after.” He paused, then took a breath and went on. “I was pretty broken up about it for a while. It took a long time for me to feel like myself again. Everyone is different when things end, but I just wanted you to know that I sympathize. And that’s why I couldn’t let things get out of hand with you yesterday. I don’t want to end up feeling like I took advantage of you while you were in a bad place. That’s not who I am and that’s not how I want things to be between us.” He leaned forward and took the steaming cup she offered him.

  “Well, thanks for looking out for me,” Samantha said wryly, wishing he wasn’t quite so chivalrous. Wishing she’d never made a pass at him.

  “Anytime.”

  It was her turn. “I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable at the lake.” This was no fun, but she knew it was the right thing. “I don’t usually do things like that.”

  “I don’t usually have beautiful women making passes at me. I’m not complaining, believe me.”

  She wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he was holding himself back for her own good, but it still smacked of rejection and it still stung. She reminded herself to be practical. Jack was right. It would be a bad idea to jump into something with him. She had to keep her mind on yesterday’s mantra—work, promotion, friends, sell the ranch. But his story had somehow opened the door to her own.

  “Mark was having an affair,” she blurted out. “With his assistant. It’s been going on for months, evidently. I only found out because she’s pregnant.”

  Jack let out a low whistle. “Wow. That’s bad.” He was silent for a few moments, but not still. His foot tapped and he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, as if to keep from hitting someone. When he spoke his voice was low with fury. “What an idiot. I’d like to meet him, you know. Tell him to his face what he threw away. Then kick his ass from here to San Francisco.”

  The image made her smile and she didn’t usually go in for violence. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has said since it happened,” Samantha told him. “But you’ll have to get in line because my girlfriends have already planned his demise, or at least the demise of his kneecaps.”

  “Well then, I like your girlfriends. Maybe we can all take him on together.” Jack picked up his cup and rinsed it in the sink. Then he turned and looked at her with that clear gaze, the one that seemed to see into her. “You know, I doubt there’s anyone in this town who needs to go to a party more than you. So go get ready?”

  She hesitated, wondering if it would be kind of depressing to spend time with this man when there was so much between them that couldn’t happen. But she really did enjoy his company. As long as she blocked out the memories of what it had been like to kiss him yesterday, and how his touch had made her feel, and how mortifying it had all been, she might be okay.

  And what he’d mentioned about Betty stuck with her. After her grandfather had died, Samantha had felt so guilty about being in San Francisco when Ruth was out here on the ranch by herself. She’d comforted herself with the knowledge that Ruth had so many close friends nearby who looked after her. She owed Betty a debt of gratitude, and if she could repay a bit of it by showing up at a barbecue, then she’d go.

  “Why not?” she said, keeping her words light. “A barbecue full of cowboys, might be just my thing.”

  He laughed at that. “I like you, Samantha Rylant. I really do.”

  Samantha sighed. “I like you, too, Jack Baron,” she answered. She swallowed the rest of her terrible coffee and headed upstairs to get dressed.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “JACK!” BETTY BUSTLED toward them like a cheerful locomotive as they climbed out of the pickup. “You brought Samantha!” She pulled Samantha into a welcoming hug, planting a loud kiss on her cheek. “I’m so glad you could join us! What a treat!”

  Betty reached out and took Jack by the other arm and walked them both toward the crowd, chattering all the way. “Dan’s here, Samantha. Do you remember him? He owns the Blue Water Grocery, down by the highway? He says he knew you as a little girl. And he told me some story about Jack scaring the pants off you in the store? I tell you, I try to keep this boy in check but he’s just impossible!” She gave Samantha a conspiratorial smile, seemingly unaware of the embarrassed flush that was creeping over her cheeks.

  “Thanks, Betty. But I know you love me just the way I am.” Jack planted a smacking kiss on the top of Betty’s head, caught Samantha’s eye and gave her a wink. “You’ll get used to it,” he said. “News definitely travels fast around here.”

  They reached the barbecue area on the other side of the driveway from Betty and Jed’s old ranch house. There were several picnic tables, an enormous brick barbecue and a horseshoe pit surrounded by a few pine trees. About forty people crowded around the picnic tables, while children, chasing each other with water balloons, wove through the crowd, shrieking and laughing. It was just another scene from this western movie she’d landed in, Samantha thought, smiling to herself. If Jenna and Tess could see her now, surrounded by folks in cowboy hats, they would not believe it.

  “Jack, you go get this one a beer, or a soda or some of that wine you brought by earlier and I’ll introduce Samantha around.” Betty took Samantha’s arm proprietarily.

  Jack turned to Samantha. “What’ll it be, Samantha?”

  “Just water, thanks.”

  “Sticking to the hard stuff, are you?”

  Before she could reply to his teasing, Betty swept her off into the crowd. By the picnic tables there were Betty’s sisters, sons, daughters, nieces and a few grandchildren to meet. Next they went to the barbecue area where Jed was grilling what looked to be about five different kinds of beef, surrounded by three rather portly men who Betty introduced as Jed’s brothers. And then they were off again and Betty kept up a steady stream of introductions until Sam was certain she must have met the entire town of Benson, from the local fishing guide to the high school English teacher.

  When Jack found her she was sitting on a blanket in the shade of a pine tree and Andrew the teacher had her laughing at stories of his various mishaps in the classroom.

  “You enjoying yourself?” he asked as he handed her a bottle of water.

  “I’m having a wonderful time. Thank you for bringing me. Everyone is so friendly.” And she meant it. This was fun, surprisingly fun.

  “Yeah.” Jack shot Andrew a meaningful glance. “Folks are very friendly around here. You know, Andrew, I’m pretty sure I saw your wife looking for you a few minutes ago.”

  Andrew looked flustered and excused himself, hurrying off. Samantha turned to Jack, amazed. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing?”

  Jack was all innocence. “What do you think I’m doing?”


  “Scaring that man away.”

  “I wasn’t scaring him.” Blue eyes teased over her face. “I was just reminding him of his familial duties.” Jack sat down next to her on the blanket.

  “So let me get this straight. You don’t want me, but no one else is allowed to be interested?” She was only half teasing. She didn’t want him, or anyone, messing with her head, or her heart, ever again.

  He looked at her seriously. His voice was low. “You know I want you, Samantha. I don’t think you have any idea how much.” He took a long drink of his beer. A smile crinkled the corner of his eye as Samantha watched his profile. A grin started and he turned to her with a challenge in his eye. “Maybe I’m just not the fling guy. Maybe I’m the next guy. The one you keep.”

  Samantha studied him, her heart pounding hard against the wall of her chest. She couldn’t figure out if he was serious, so she deliberately misunderstood him. “So you’re saying I should go have a fling with someone else then?”

  Jack looked at her steadily for a moment. She tried not to squirm under his gaze. “Well, here’s the thing, Frisco. I don’t think you really want to have that fling. I don’t think you’re really the fling type, either. So how about you just take some time for yourself, get over that bozo you were just dating, and then we’ll talk?”

  She was stunned. Did he really want her like that? Thinking about it felt as if a light had gone on inside her, illuminating all the dark corners where so much doubt and angst had been hidden. She looked over at him. He was smiling at her, and she wondered if he was just teasing her one more time.

  Samantha looked down at the ground, trying to remind herself that even if he was serious, nothing long-distance could possibly work out. He’d be snowed in half the winter up there on the ranch. Plus, he’d have to be there every day to take care of the horses, so she’d be the one driving out here all the time, which would eventually make her resentful and then they’d be miserable.