“Hel! It’s Hel the Dragonslayer! He’ll save us!”
Hel pounced forward. Silhouetted against the flames, he was twice, or even three times the man he was before. He whipped out his massive sword and thrust it into the air, jabbing it in the direction of the circling dragon. “Now then, dragon!” he snarled. “Let us do battle! Just like the good old days!”
“Ohhh, goodie!” replied Hazel happily.
All the Vikings cheered. Except for Magnus, whose mouth was full of seawater.
CHAPTER 18
With a rumble of happiness, Hazel dived from the sky and the battle began. Swooping low, she spewed flames over the rooftops. Hel replied by rigging up a makeshift catapult with a pair of Great Fire Festival souvenir underpants and firing cannonball-sized boulders.
“Too ssss-slow, dragonslayer!” hissed Hazel as she dodged his shots.
“I’ll get you yet, dragon!” Hel roared back, loading up another boulder. He was thoroughly enjoying himself.
Their battle was one of the greatest duels any of the Vikings could remember. There wasn’t much of old Lerwick left by the end, but the show was so good the townspeople didn’t mind. When the last flames had been breathed and the last sword thrusts made, it was time for the dragon to leave. “Goodbye, Thhh-orfinn!” called Hazel as she banked away towards the sea. “And thhh-ank you!”
“No, thank you, old bean!” Thorfinn called back, doffing his helmet to her.
Hazel flew off across the open sea, while Hel rode out of town to the cheers of his fellow Vikings. Both dragon and dragonslayer had arranged to fight again regularly, on the third Wednesday of every month at about half-past two.
“LONG LIVE THE DRAGONSLAYER!” cried the Vikings.
As for Harald, he was carried aloft by the crowd to the podium, or what was left of it amidst the smoking ruins. He and his crew really had put on a spectacle the festival had never seen before.
“HARALD FOR GUIZER JARL!” they cried.
Standing proudly on top of a pile of ash and cinders, Harald was presented with his prize – a silver mace. The first thing he did was to turn to his son, standing nearby with his crew.
“Here, my boy.” Harald plonked the mace down in front of Thorfinn. “We won our bet with Magnus, and it’s all thanks to you. This prize is yours. Besides…” Harald gazed over at his rival chief, who was slumped unhappily on a barrel, wringing seawater out of his hand-knitted socks. “I’m going to be a lot richer now I’ve won those thousand pieces!”
Thorfinn looked at the silver mace, scratching his chin. “Thank you, dear Dad, but it’s rather large and heavy. I’m not sure I’ll be able to lift it.”
Harald boomed with laughter and hoisted both Thorfinn and the mace into the air. “Come on, son, I’ll carry it for you!”
“So what are you going to do with it?” asked Velda, as they made their way towards their ships. “Sell it? Keep it as a trophy?”
“Oh, don’t worry, dear pal, I know exactly what to do with it,” replied Thorfinn.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
DAVID MACPHAIL left home at eighteen to travel the world and have adventures. After working as a chicken wrangler, a ghost-tour guide and a waiter on a tropical island, he now has the sensible job of writing about yetis and Vikings. At home in Perthshire, Scotland, he exists on a diet of cream buns and zombie movies.
RICHARD MORGAN was born and raised by goblins on the Yorkshire moors. After running away to New Zealand to play with yachts and paint backgrounds for Disney TV he returned to the UK to write and illustrate children’s books. He now lives in Cambridge, England, and has a family of goblins of his own.
Follow these simple steps to find out your deadly dragon name!
1. What’s your first name? The first part of your dragon name is exactly the same. Simple!
2. What month were you born? Use that to find the second part of your fiery title.
January: the Castle-Scorcher of…
February: the Helmet-Roaster of…
March: the Flame-Belcher of…
April: the Bridge-Melter of…
May: the Granny-Griller of…
June: the Ash-Farter of…
July: the Fire-Vomiter of…
August: the Bottom-Barbecuer of…
September: the Axe-Swallower of…
October: the Cave-Stinker of…
November: the Sky-Warrior of…
December: the Pants-Burner of…
3. Where were you born? Use that to find the third part of your awesome alias.
4. Add the three parts together
= YOUR DRAGON NAME!
FOR EXAMPLE: David MacPhail was born in May in Greenock so he becomes…
DAVID THE GRANNY-GRILLER OF GREENOCK
What’s your deadly dragon name? What about your friends?
1. Dragons are NOT pets, but they do like a good scratch behind the ears and an occasional game of fetch. Give tummy tickles at your own peril.
2. It’s important to feed your dragon a varied, balanced diet. If not, you might find that YOU become part of said varied, balanced diet. Avoid any SFEs (Stupid Feeding Errors) by wearing full body armour at feeding time.
3. Brushing a dragon’s teeth requires the utmost care. DO NOT attempt to floss your dragon’s fangs, unless you want to end up like Ulrick the Armless and Todrig the Crispy-Headed.
4. There are certain foods you must NEVER feed a dragon. Spaghetti, gingerbread and broccoli give dragons explosive wind. Noxious dragon bottom burps have been known to knock people unconscious for several weeks.
5. Dragons DO NOT like having their caves cleaned. If you must clean, use a VERY long-handled brush and find something to distract your dragon with (a snack-sized herd of oxen is ideal). Better still, wait until they’ve nipped out to burn the local village to the ground before spring-cleaning.
DISCLAIMER: Owners follow the above advice at their own risk. The Publisher accepts no liability for any dragon-related damage or injuries of any kind (dragon fart-induced comas included).
COPYRIGHT
Kelpies is an imprint of Floris Books
First published in 2019 by Floris Books
This eBook edition published in 2019
Text © 2019 David MacPhail. Illustrations © 2019 Floris Books David MacPhail and Richard Morgan have asserted their rights under the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act 1988 to be identified as the Author and Illustrator of this Work. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without the prior permission of Floris Books, Edinburgh www.florisbooks.co.uk
British Library CIP data available
ISBN 978–178250–575–4
Thorfinn and the Dreadful Dragon Page 5