by K. Langston
Things were falling into place. The only thing that would make me happier would be if Winston were home. He seemed better last week when I went to visit, but he’s still not convinced he’ll ever be free, leaving me to question it as well. I took Cannon inside with me so he could meet my brother, and Winston was polite enough, but I could see the pain in his eyes each time they caught mine. He wished things were different.
We all did.
The heat was stifling, making it impossible to be outside for long periods of time. Maybe a swim would cool me off. Memories flooded my senses as I walked down the hill towards the deck, the smell of honeysuckle and pine accompanied by a night filled with desire and passion. I smiled, thinking about the bruises that still painted my back, but God it was worth it. He made love to me right here under the stars just a few days ago. By far, one of the best nights of my life.
The afternoon sun bathed me in all its scorching glory, as I shimmied out of my shorts and stripped off my top. I debated whether to go back in and change into my suit or embrace my newfound independence with arms wide open. A thrill ran down my spine as I slipped off my panties and unsnapped the front clasp of my bra.
With a running start, I dove in head first. The sun had warmed the top layer but the shaded spots were nice and cool. I backstroked lazily around the lake, enjoying the serene sounds and tranquility it offered.
“What the fuck, Cora?”
A scream ripped from my throat and my heart sank to my stomach as I spun around quickly, coming face to face with an extremely angry Cannon. “How did you sneak up on me like that? I never even heard you.”
“Why the hell are you naked?” he asked, swimming toward me as I as swam away.
Why is he looking at me like that?
I raised a brow and looked around at the hundreds of trees surrounding the lake. “Relax, I don’t think anyone can see me, babe. Besides, what are you doing here anyway? I thought you had a session today?”
Cannon had started seeing a therapist designated by the VA. At first he didn’t want to do it, said it hurt too much, but it was getting easier for him. I couldn’t imagine what he had to relive during those sessions. Well, I could. But I’m pretty sure it was nowhere near the reality he once faced.
“Doc was sick today.”
“Oh.”
His jaw ticked mercilessly as he began swimming towards me. “Why are you so upset?” I asked, moving further away. The hard look on his face made my skin prickle with anticipation.
And fear.
“For starters, my woman is outside in the middle of the goddamn day, where anyone can see, showing the whole fucking world what’s mine. When I catch you, I’m lightin’ your ass on fire.”
I struck out, thinking I could swim faster than him. But he was quick. Scary quick. “Ahhhh,” I yelled as he grabbed me by my ankle and pulled me towards him.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he demanded but it wasn’t sexy or hot. He was pissed. “Do it now or I swear you’ll get it far worse than I’m already gonna give you.” I did what I was told and with a clenched jaw, he swam us back to the bank and marched out of the water. I went to unlock my legs, but he smacked my bare, wet ass.
Twice.
Hard.
The sound echoed off the water and trees, rippling down my spine. “You fuckin’ stay put.” The way he was talking to me absolutely should not turn me on, but God help me it did.
I wanted to slap him and fuck him all at once.
How’s that even possible?
He stalked toward the house. One arm banded diagonal across my back, he cupped my neck and with his other he cradled my ass. I could feel the rage vibrating around me. “Why are you so upset?”
“You know why.”
My blood simmered, but I kept my voice calm, trying my best to understand what it was exactly I did wrong. “Cannon, I live in the middle of nowhere. Who the hell is gonna see me out here? The trees?” I wrapped my arms tighter around his shoulders and held his eyes as he stepped up onto the porch. “And as memory serves, we were both naked in that very same water just the other night.”
His hands gripped the skin of my ass hard and squeezed. “When I got here, the guy from the electric company was doing his meter check. The asshole was standing right there watching you with a goddamn hard on.” He nodded towards the side of the house, his nose flaring in disgust. It was awkward to be wrapped in his arms when he was this angry.
Humiliation burned both of my cheeks. “Shit, I didn’t think. I…”
“Let go,” he said abruptly as we made it inside.
I unlocked my legs, dropping them to the floor. His underwear was soaked. He slid them down his legs into a sopping mess on the hardwood floor. His cock was hard and thick, pointing right at me like an angry sword.
I collected a few steps back, hoping he didn’t intend to fuck me while he was this mad. Then again, I kind of hoped for it. Fear trickled up my spine and I had to swallow against the overwhelming assault. His hand caught my wrist, jerking me forward to collide with his hard chest before spinning me around. His front molding to my back as one arm wrapped around my chest, while his other hand fell between my legs.
Oh God.
His mouth found my ear, while his seeking fingers glided back and forth through my wet slit. “Mine.” He growled and the heat of his breath and the claim made me even wetter. A finger twisted my left nipple. “All fuckin’ mine.” Then he palmed my full breast before filling me with two fingers.
I cried out, almost ashamed at how much I was enjoying this.
Almost.
The heat was intense as it spread in a torrent of fire throughout my body. The words falling from his mouth all confirmed one thing.
“Yours,” I whispered, desperate for more.
“That’s right, baby. Nobody gets to taste, touch, or see this sweetness but me. I’m gonna fuck you hard and rough now baby, so you never forget that.”
I whimpered when his fingers left my pussy and cried out when his cock replaced them. He filled me completely, one arm banded around my waist while the other hooked beneath my knee. Right there, in the middle of my living room, in the middle of the day, Cannon fucked me just like he said he would.
Hard.
Rough.
And with every possessive muscle and bone in his body.
* * *
Relationships aren’t perfect and if I had to guess, loving a man like Cannon day in and day out might not be easy, but I didn’t care. I wanted him anyway.
Every.
Broken.
Piece.
We were lying in my bed watching a movie. I knew the time would come when he would have to leave. I didn’t want him to, and I was trying to figure out a way to make him stay when we heard a knock at the front door.
“Expecting anyone?” he asked, looking at his watch.
“At 10pm…uh…no.”
Kissing my forehead, he left me to go answer the door. A minute later, loud, angry voices echoed down the hall and I immediately shot from the bed, not even bothering to put on any pants. In nothing but Cannon’s cut up workout t-shirt and my black boy shorts, I pounded across the hardwood floor to the front door.
Dent and Cannon were standing chest to chest, toe to toe. Their faces were both red, puffs of air being exchanged between them. Two men ready to fight over me, it was a sight to see. “I told you to get the fuck out of here.”
“Cannon!” He looked like a lunatic. His wild eyes shimmered with green jealously as he took a reluctant step back.
“Cora, clothes,” Cannon said and I thought Dent was going to lose his shit.
“Dude…I’m not fuckin’ playin’ with you right now. You got no right to tell her what to do. Go put on some clothes, Cora.” Dent said, contradicting his own words.
“Cannon, I need to talk to Dent. Alone. Can you give us a minute please?”
Cannon looked affronted. As if I’d just betrayed him in some way. I lifted up on my toes, and gave him a kiss on
the cheek. “I’ll be right back, promise.”
“What the hell are you doing here? How’d you know where I lived?” I asked, shuffling him out the front door onto the porch.”
“I asked around. Which wasn’t easy to do by the way. I miss you,” he admitted, attempting to wrap me in his arms.
Too little, too late.
I shoved him away gently. A few weeks ago, I would have ran right back into his arms, but now I couldn’t imagine being wrapped up in anyone but Cannon.
“You with that guy?” Dent asked, taking a step back. His face stricken with digust.
I folded my arms. “Yes,”
Dent collected a step, his familiar scent reminding my heart of all the time I’d wasted. All the tears I cried. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.” he reached for my hand but I shrugged away. “I want you back, baby. Please give me another chance.”
“I’ll never forget what we had, Dent, but it’s not what I want anymore.”
He ran a frustrated hand through is hair. “What the hell do you want then?”
“I want him.”
He moved even closer and I threw a hand out to meet his chest, stopping him. “Don’t do this,” he begged.
This was his way. His words always ruined my resolve. But not this time. I was stronger now. I knew what I wanted, what I deserved. And I deserved a hell of a lot more than this. “I’m sorry, Dent.”
He looked lost, confused. “You love him, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
The truth rolled off my tongue so easily. My heart soared as the confirmation left my mouth.
I sucked in a cleansing breath, ridding myself of any guilt. I had no reason to feel guilty. Even though the truth may have hurt Dent, Cannon is who I wanted. Cannon is who I loved. I’d made the right choice, letting go of Dent. One I probably should have made a long time ago, but like everything else in my life, it had to be hard. It had to hurt like hell and there had to be a lesson learned from it.
And if I’d learned anything…it was to follow my heart.
Dent shoved his hands in his pockets, dropping his eyes to his feet. “I guess this is goodbye then.”
“Yeah, it is.”
He stood there silent, waiting for me to change my mind like I always did. But that didn’t happen. After a few moments, he finally realized this was the end of our story. I watched Dent drive away, closing that chapter on my past once and for all.
When I walked back inside, Cannon met me at the door, fuming. “What the hell was that?”
“Would you please calm the fuck down?”
“No, I will not calm the fuck down. I thought you said you two were over.”
“That was goodbye.” I bit out.
He blinked. “Goodbye?”
“Yeah, Cannon. Goodbye.”
“Hold up. I’m confused. Shouldn’t you have already had this conversation? Considering you’re supposed to be with me!” he bellowed.
“I refuse to talk to you until you calm down.”
He took a step forward, his body within inches of mine. “Tell me.”
I was about to tell him to go to hell, but that was before I caught the flash of fear hiding behind his hard eyes. I stepped forward, cupping his cheeks. “Baby, you have nothing to worry about. You are the only one I want. The only one I need. That out there, was closure. More for him this time than me.”
I watched as his eyes softened and the line straightening his lips loosened. “You’re mine,” he stated with a low hungry growl.
“I know, baby. All yours.”
His lips stole mine, owning me, possessing my mouth in a way he never had before. He did it with strong, deep swipes of his tongue, infusing my blood with so much need it was impossible to breathe. He pressed me against the wall while his greedy hands roamed every inch of my body.
Gripping.
Kneading.
Marking what was rightfully his.
And I was all too happy to let him, proving in every way I could, I belonged to only him.
Love shall be our token;
love be yours and love be mine.
~Christina Rossetti
I’d been searching all week long, searching for the right words and perfect time. Thought about confessing as she leaned against the kitchen counter cutting up tomatoes earlier to put into our salads. She had one bare foot propped up on her knee, sporting a thin white tank. A sexy zebra print bra taunted me from underneath. A loose braid hung down the center of her back and my fingers itched to mess it up even more. Her beauty was intoxicating and completely unmatched.
I almost said it during dinner. When she leaned over and wiped the ranch dressing from the corner of my lips with her finger and then sucked it into her mouth. “Damn, I shoulda had ranch instead of honey mustard,” she’d said.
Then, I almost said it while we made love, but my words failed me.
Now it was time for me to leave and I still hadn’t shared the words that were fighting for freedom within the confines of my heart. “So I’ll see you on Thursday?” she asked, leaning in to wrap her arms around my neck.
I loved her hugs. The way she fit so perfectly in my arms, her breasts against my chest, her breath on my neck.
I was going out of town to look at some commercial property with Holden tomorrow. I would be gone most of the day and she had to work, so we wouldn’t see each other again until I picked her up the following day to head to Alabama for my sister’s wedding.
I wanted to stay, but I still wasn’t comfortable spending the night. The therapist I’d been seeing was helping a little. It helped to talk about it some days. Some days…not so much. But the beautiful memories Cora and I were creating together, those were beginning to eat up the dark shit threatening to take over. But they were still there.
Lurking.
We were standing on her front porch when it fell from my mouth so easily, without pretense or hesitation. I moved my hands to the smooth skin of her jaw and found it trembling. “I love you.”
Fuck, and I did.
More than anything.
“You don’t know how much I’ve longed to hear you say those words to me.”
“I mean it. So damn much.”
“I love you too, Cannon.”
My heart swelled to an immeasurable size as I took her sweet lips with mine in a kiss that promised nothing short of forever. I would learn to live for this woman. Because God knows I would die for her.
The whole ride home I had to fight the urge to turn around. I wanted to fall asleep with her in my arms and wake up with her hogging the covers or me sliding inside of her. I wanted to see her sleepy eyes when they smiled her lazy good morning smile, asking me to cook her bacon, then shoving me away when I tried for a morning kiss.
But I wouldn’t risk hurting her again. She was too important to me. We couldn’t rush something we wanted to last forever.
We had a lifetime to get this right.
* * *
I woke up earlier than normal so I could squeeze in a workout before I hit the road with Holden. I was still flying high from my night with Cora. So much that I was actually looking forward to going home tomorrow. Even though I knew it would be hard as hell, I was ready. I could face this.
With her by my side, I could face anything.
I was in the middle of lifting weights when my cell rang. At first I thought it might be Holden saying he was running late, which wasn’t unusual, but the name that flashed across was not Holden. In fact, it was the last person I ever expected to hear from again.
“Yeah,” I answered, irritated by the interruption.
A small voice I hardly recognized came from the other end of the line. “Hey,”
“What’s up?”
“How are you?” she asked.
“Why are you calling me, Alexis?”
“Because I miss you,”
I could feel the weight of her confession in my chest which confused me. I’m not supposed to care about her. I’m not suppose
d to care how she felt but for some ungodly reason I did. I guess because I knew what it was like to want to escape. I was familiar with the need to bury pain and the desperation that comes with it. But whatever she’s battling, she would have to deal with on her own.
I got my own hell to face.
I attempted to lighten my tone in order to soften the blow. “Alexis, you shouldn’t be callin’ me.”
“I know. It’s just…you’re the only one who understands me. You know what I need and I feel like I’m lost without you. I need to see you. I have no one.”
“No,” I bit out, pissed she would even ask. But my anger was followed up by a small amount of guilt.
Could I turn my back on someone who had no one?
“Cannon, please,” she pleaded, her voice frantic and weak.
“Alexis, I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m with Cora and even if I wasn’t, this thing between you and me…it’s over. I told you that.”
A sob broke the silence.
“Alexis,” I hesitated, searching for the right words to comfort her or assure her that eventually everything would be alright. But the only word I could get out was goodbye.
In every conceivable manner,
the family is link to our past,
bridge to our future.
~Alex Haley
We’d been on the road several hours before finally pulling into the driveway of a yellow two story home, set back off the road at the end of Liberty Lane. An American flag waved proudly from the front porch that was covered in potted plants and colorful flowers. An attractive older woman with strawberry blonde hair, dressed in a flowing aqua top and blue jeans, walked outside, the screen door caught in the hand of the man behind her. She shielded her eyes from the bright sun as she rushed down the steps.
Cannon reached for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before he dropped out of the truck, wrapping the petite woman in his arms. I exited the truck, walking around to join them. When he released her, she wiped tears from her eyes before gifting me with a warm smile. Cannon reached for my hand. “Mom, this is my girlfriend, Cora.”
“So nice to meet you, Mrs. Jacobs.” She ignored my hand and hugged my neck, squeezing me tight.