by J. Woods
She looked back at him with mock outrage, “Did you doubt me?” She licked her lips staring at the smile that grew across his mouth, damn but that smile sent flutters straight through to her belly. Before she grabbed his face and did something stupid like make out with him in front of half his family she offered him the wooden spoon in her hands, “Try.” Wrong move Alcott. His eyes darkened as his tongue tasted, never leaving hers. She felt her heart speed up; positive her own desire for him was completely evident on her face.
“Logan, can you go tell everyone to have a seat at the table. We’ll be bringing everything out in a couple of minutes.” She could see the knowing smile in his eyes before he turned around and walked confidently out of the kitchen. Zoe couldn’t help the shake of her head as she turned off the burner, still stirring the marinara not knowing what else to do with her hands. She looked up to find Roxy smiling at her; she rolled her eyes causing his sister to laugh in understanding at her exasperation.
Logan squeezed her thigh under the table when she took her seat beside him. “Okay?” he mouthed. She nodded her head watching reverently as the long dining table was immediately filled with chatter and laughs. Paired with her first bite of spaghetti, Logan pulled out his buzzing phone catching her attention. She could see it was Detective Ashbrook calling; she couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in her stomach. “Excuse me,” Logan announced leaving the room to take the call.
“So Zoe, tell us about the glamorous life of a CEO.” She couldn’t help but laugh at Logan’s Dad trying to distract her. She played along describing the less than glamorous attributes of her job and some of the more alluring ones like the charity ball her and Logan had just attended. He’d asked her how she started the company and with everyone’s attention she told them how her dream was born. She loved her job, it was the one thing in her life that she knew she was absolutely meant to do. It was fun and exciting and she could never picture herself doing anything else.
“Zoe,” Logan called to her from the other room.
“Excuse me.” She smiled politely as she stood to leave the table. Still on the phone, she saw the rigidity in his back and she heard the distance in his voice as he spoke to the detective on the other end. She sat on the arm of the couch knowing whatever he had to tell her wasn’t going to be good. She hated not being free to do as she pleased; she felt trapped, a prisoner in her own recently twisted life. She held her breath as he placed his phone back in his pocket and turned to her. “Sullivan has been taken into custody. He’ll be undergoing questioning before he is admitted to jail awaiting his trial.” She felt the oxygen leave her lungs in a relief that almost made her dizzy.
“He has? That’s great!” She jumped up wrapping her arms around his waist, feeling a pang of disappointment when he didn’t seem to share her excitement. He wrapped one arm loosely around her shoulders but she felt none of its warmth. A trickle of unease travelled down her spine landing heavily in her stomach.
“Yeah, of course. Ashbrook gave you the clear to stay at your place tonight. I can take you there now or if you would like to finish dinner here I’ll drive you home afterward.” Zoe stepped back, a sharp frown pulling her eyebrows together. With his eyes a mask of indifference she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Or why he was suddenly acting like such a prick.
“Logan,” she started; taking a deep breath she knew anything she asked him would bounce off the wall he’d suddenly erected between them. “I’d like to stay for dinner. If that works for you,” she added with a snap to her tone.
“Okay.” She turned away from him, swallowing over the lump that had formed in her throat. She wasn’t sure if it was relief or hurt at the source. She took her seat with a plastered smile on her face, nodding when prompted but the entire dinner now felt like a facade. Logan wasn’t leaning in toward her, he didn’t have his arm draped across the back of her chair; if anything he looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere near her. She tried to ignore the sharp cracks she could hear echoing in her ears knowing it was her heart. She didn’t understand, was it all a game to him? She could feel her emotions building and being around his loving and accepting family she didn’t think she could take much more. She needed to talk to him, to figure out where his head was at.
Zoe stood gathering empty plates as she made her way to the kitchen, Max following closely behind her. “Everything okay?” She put the dishes in the sink before turning to answer.
“Fine.” She turned to him, forcing a smile to her face. “Detective Ashbrook has Alex in custody and gave the okay for me to return home.” A look of curious understanding crossed his face; one that left Zoe even more confused.
“And how do you feel about that?” She blew out a rough breath leaning her hip against the counter, how was she supposed to answer that when the one person that had been through it with her apparently couldn’t wait to get rid of her?
“Relieved - I’m so... elated that they have Alex in custody and I don’t have to worry about cut up roses in my bedroom.” Before he could answer Logan stepped in, the ice man locked and loaded, completely forbidding and untouchable. And it was pissing her off.
“Ready?” He gave a hard look to Max, leaving before she could answer. Apparently it was a rhetorical question.
“I guess I’m leaving.” He gave her a sympathetic grin, slinging his arm around her shoulders and leading her to the front foyer where the rest of the family gathered to bid their farewells. She could see Logan grinding his teeth at the sight of Max’s arm draped around her - she didn’t care. If he wanted to have a temper tantrum, she’d give him a reason for it. “Thank you so much for letting me crash your dinner. I had a wonderful time. And it was so great to meet you all, thank you.”
“Oh honey,” Logan’s mom pulled her into a fierce hug, and it was the warmth she offered that had Zoe’s eyes stinging with unshed tears. “Thank you for coming and for all your help! It was so lovely to meet you and I hope you come back to visit us soon.” Each of his sisters took Juliette’s place with bright smiles and plans to get together soon. After a sufficient ten minutes of goodbyes, she was ushered out of the warm family home and into the cold interior of Logan’s truck.
Staring out her window as the city went to bed; she couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She hated the wall he continued to build between them and she had no idea why. She turned to face him, “Logan... What’s wrong?”
Keeping his eyes on the windshield, he stayed silent for a long moment and Zoe knew he was contemplating opening up to her. Eventually, he chose not to. “Nothing. I’ll have your purse and the rest of your things dropped off at your office tomorrow. That is if you don’t need it tonight.” She let out a breath of defeat, her heart breaking with his every word.
Grasping at all her female coldness she turned away from him. “No. I don’t need my things tonight.” A few minutes later Logan pulled into the underground parking lot. Zoe hopped out almost before he stopped the car. She wanted to get away from him, from the hurt he was bestowing upon her, from her own stupidity. She walked toward the elevator hearing his car door shut. “I’ll be fine. You don’t need to walk me up. Thanks though.”
He stepped into the opening elevator with her, “Yes I do, its part of the job.” She was surprised he didn’t hear the final pieces of her soul shatter; she closed her eyes against his words. Well, at least he was honest. She straightened her back, testing the steel in her spine. She ensured she was continuously walking ahead of him, opening her apartment she took a hesitant breath staring around the empty space. She hated the shudder than ran through her; the last time she was here, she found her bedroom covered in murdered roses. Taking a centering breath she turned around to face him keeping him effectively on the other side of the threshold. “Do you want me to check the place out?” She was momentarily taken aback by his question, then remembered it was probably protocol for the job. Because he’d made it clear that was the definition she had been lacking when trying to figure it out in her head the oth
er morning while she was tangled in his sheets. She was part of the job.
“I’m sure I can handle it,” she said coldly. She watched the unmasked war in his eyes; she wondered if it was hurt she saw or just what she’d hoped he was feeling. Because she was feeling it in spades. And it didn’t make any sense - just a few hours ago he was all over her, worshipping her, making her feel special in no way she’d ever felt before.
He stepped forward into her space, “Zoe...”
His strong fingers wrapped around the nape of her neck and while she watched some of the ice thaw from the darks of his eyes he leaned in pressing his lips to her forehead. Just when she was going to drag him inside and demand to know what she’d done to spark this change he stepped back, the warmth disappearing. “Take care. You have my number if you need anything.” And with his cryptic words he turned around and she was left staring at his retreating back. Not giving in to her own feminine tantrum, she closed the door quietly listening to the solid sound of the deadbolt locking into place. She stepped further into a home that felt so foreign to her now; god she hated it. Everywhere she looked all she saw was cold and all she felt was empty. Walking down the hall the echo of her own footsteps bounced off the walls leaving her feeling uneasy. Moving into her bedroom she looked around, and although the flowers had been cleaned up and thrown away, the pungent smell of roses hung in the stale air. She wanted to gag. Rubbing her hand over her face she went to sit on her mattress; her pillow still bore the hole from the knife that had been stabbed violently into it. Panic gripped her; she couldn’t stay here. Grabbing a bag from her closet, she threw some loose clothes into it along with her necessities before snatching her keys from where she’d left them on the counter. Cursing herself for not having a purse that contained her cell phone, it took all her strength not to run down the hall and to her car. Turning over the engine and strapping herself in, she pulled out of the parking lot and into the black of the night sky toward the other side of the city.
Knocking fervently on the front door of the small home, the door opened to her friend’s worried face. “I need hard liquor or chocolate,” she managed to say without bursting into tears.
“You’re in luck. I have both of those things. Come in doll, tell me all about it.” Rachel pulled her into a hug that felt so familiar and comforting she couldn’t keep at bay the few tears that escaped her attempt to hold them back.
After changing into a pair of plaid pajamas Rachel insisted she wore, they sat on the couch, tailor style, facing each other. Their spoons duelled when diving into the pint of cookie dough ice cream causing them both to giggle. Apparently Rachel had some stories to share as well; the common denominator - jerks. “So, what exactly happened?” Zoe asked about Ace.
“We left the ball, came back here and had a couple of drinks, put on a movie and had a fun night. We made out a little, there was some heavy petting and some adult fun but we mostly talked. I mean, I’ve never opened up to any man like I did him and I felt like he did the same with me. He made me feel things in one night I haven’t ever felt before. I woke up planning an amazing, romantic breakfast, but he was gone. No trace of him in my house and I haven’t heard from him since.”
“So you didn’t sleep with him?”
“No, but if I knew he was going to pull the cloak of invisibility act then I absolutely would have.” Zoe laughed; surprised at Rachel’s casual attitude about a guy who had obviously made an impression on her - something that didn’t happen very often.
“So you aren’t upset about it?”
“Well of course I’m upset about it! But what am I supposed to do? I know he goes by ‘Ace’ and some random, personal facts about his past. I also know he’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen and works with a guy that has very clearly slept with you and hurt your heart. Just because I was into it doesn’t necessarily mean he was. And if he wasn’t, I’m not going to be one of those girls who is going to chase after him and try and convince him otherwise.” Zoe nodded pondering the insight of her friend. “So why don’t you tell me what happened with Logan.”
She fell back against the pillows; she would much rather talk about Rachel and Ace than herself and her own ignorance to her situation. “I don’t know, Rach. I really have no idea what the hell happened. It was like a switch. One moment it was on and everything was great and the next he turned it off - everything. I mean I get that we were involved in a certain situation. We needed to be around each other all the time and people can get close that way. But this felt different. I don’t know if it was the idea of playing house and I just got carried away, but I don’t think so. He treated me like I was someone, something so precious and special to him. He took me for dinner at his family’s house and then, when we should have been celebrating Alex being in custody he turned back into the iceman again. I don’t get it.”
“You fell for him.” Zoe knew it wasn’t a question; it was an obvious statement that she could only nod her head to. Rachel handed her the ice cream in a silent gesture of understanding.
“Can I stay here for a bit?”
“You can stay here for as long as you want. We can be roomies!”
Zoe laughed at her enthusiasm. “I think I’m going to put my place on the market. I can’t stay there. I walked in today and it just gave me the creeps being there.”
“Understandable. Do you want to be the big spoon tonight or the little spoon?” Rachel knew when Zoe needed to continue talking and when to distract her and she couldn’t thank her friend enough for the diversions.
“Big spoon.”
Chapter Fifteen
Logan knew he should go home, wallow in his own disappointment. Disappointment in himself, in Zoe, in the lack of what they now were. He knew he’d been a dick; he was good at being a dick - but it was for the best. It was how he protected himself and his heart. He had a strong feeling he had been too late, that his heart had already been affected when as soon as he heard the click of her door, the emptiness he felt without her was astounding. When he got the call that Sullivan had been taken into custody he was happy Zoe was now safe. But the close following feeling of panic at her no longer needing him told him he was in too deep, that if he didn’t pull out now he was going to be the one left more alone than when he started. He wondered if he’d made a terrible mistake when the hurt in her eyes was so palpable it almost choked him, but she shut the door and shut him out. He asked himself what else could he expect from her with his behaviour? He didn’t know what to do; he’d never felt so lost than he did in this moment, sitting in his truck down the street from Zoe’s apartment. He had to make sure she was okay; needed to make sure she was safe. She tried to hide the panicked shudder than ran through her when she stepped into her apartment, but he noticed it. He’d wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her she didn’t need to be scared anymore, that they’d caught the bad guy. But he didn’t. He hated that she was still afraid, that some asshole, even behind bars, still had the ability to affect her. He had to ask himself, was it the asshole behind bars that was still affecting her, or the asshole standing in front of her? His attention was caught when he noticed her black SUV pull out of the lot and tear down the street. He slowly entered traffic, a few cars down from her as he followed her to a little house on the opposite side of the city. When she got out, he didn’t think he’d ever seen her so distraught. He watched as Rachel opened the door to her frantic knocking, pulling her into a fierce, protective hug, dragging her inside and out of Logan’s sight. The sinking feeling of his heart into his stomach wondered if he’d put that look on her face. Had he been wrong? It took all of his strength to turn his truck around and drive back to his house. His very empty house.
Opening his front door, he let Axel run out and into the field watching as he trotted back looking around for Zoe. “She’s not here boy. Come on.” Stepping inside, his house smelled like her. Light and feminine and of Zoe. Everywhere he looked in his bedroom she was there. Her purse sat perched on the bed; he noticed on the nig
ht table sat a small tube of hand lotion beside her charging cell phone, her own little stamp in claiming her side. Was she expecting to stay at his place - within the spectrum of long term? Knowing if he fell into bed, the scent of her on his sheets would surround him, and as much as he wanted it, it wasn’t good enough because it was just an echo of her. He hated second guessing himself and he hated even more how alone he felt without her. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he quickly picked up his vibrating phone hoping it was Zoe telling him to come back so they could talk. Instead it was his sister Roxy sending him a text message;
Don’t be an idiot Logan. Don’t let her go.
Logan loved his baby sister, some may even call her his favourite, but sometimes she needed to mind her own business. He stormed into his bathroom turning the shower to cold.
Logan bolted upright in his bed, his room still ensconced in the black shadows of night. He felt the sweat trickle down from his temple and heard the manic beat of his heart against his chest. He raised his shaking hand to run his fingers through his hair. It was a nightmare. And he was alone. Zoe wasn’t beside him, comforting him with soothing words and soft kisses; there was no one beside him. He was alone.
Logan violently signed his name on the slip the courier had handed him before he took the box of Zoe’s things and headed back to his brown and gold delivery truck. Logan slammed the door behind him taking the steps two at a time. He paused to stare at both Max and Cameron who had their eyebrows raised in question.
“Shut up,” he grumbled walking past.
“You know this sad puppy dog thing you’ve got going on is kind of depressing. I’m used to you being grumpy but this...” He looked up to see his sister walking in and sitting down in the chair across from him.