Despite Jordan’s attempt to hold onto her anger, it cooled. There was no point in being upset with him. There were better ways to tell a girl her life was being yanked around, but from what she understood of his people, they were both victims here. But she didn’t have to accept it, or him.
Food in hand, she slowly approached Cai. He stood at the window, hands braced on the sill with his head tilted back, watching the fish swimming by. The view from her quarters was enough to leave even her breathless, and she’d lived at the Fuller Center for close to ten months now.
He glanced over his shoulder, his face lit up like Christmas morning. “This is amazing.”
She peeked out of the window to see which of the reef’s inhabitants held his attention. Beyond the window, a scene which anywhere else in the universe would only be possible underwater, floated by in space. They hadn’t figured out how the remains of a research ship became a space reef, or how nanotechnology fused with the sea creatures, but here they were. Existing in a perfect bubble of ocean life.
Her heart did a little pitter-patter. Suspended above the window was one of her creatures, a lumbering whale shark. Even when the species was in its natural habitat it mystified scientists. Out here, in a bubble of the ocean where it shouldn’t be, it was a miracle.
“That’s Suzan.” She set the plate on a stack of plastos.
“What is it? She?”
“She. She’s a whale shark.” She smiled as the shark pirouetted and swam away. “We have three of them on the reef, which is amazing considering how big they get, and how much they eat. Besides her, there’s George and Voirey.”
“I’ve never seen anything so amazing.” He turned to face her. Even though she didn’t want to like him, he cooed over her precious sharks, and her heart thawed a little. Maybe he wasn’t completely bad.
“Here.” She picked up the plate and shoved it at him. “Eat.”
He lifted it to his face and sniffed. He eyed the food, giving it the same interest he had the sharks. “What is it?”
“Um.” She settled on the floor, since she didn’t have anywhere else to sit at the moment. “Eggs, bacon and pancakes. You’ve never eaten it before?”
“I’ve never had eggs that looked like these.” He sat a few feet away from her, the plate balanced on his thigh. The definition of the rectus femoris and vastus medialis muscles stood out through the thin fabric of what passed for pants. “The pancakes are a little thicker than something back home, but this.” He picked up the bacon. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it.”
“It’s meat.”
He nibbled on the crispy bacon, his brows lifting. “Mmm. That’s good.” He sampled some more of the food on his plate before setting it aside. “Thanks. I’m not sure what you know about Galairians, so I’ll start at the top.” He leaned back against the wall. “We’re symbiotic. At maturation we bond with either another of our race, or one with a similar physiology to ours. Unlike humans, we need the biological feedback, or the connection with another, to survive.”
He rubbed his palms on his arms. “Because there are more males born to our people than females, the bloodlines are carefully maintained to keep a balance in the population. I wasn’t selected to go into the pool of potential companions for a Galairian mate, so I looked off-world. My intended mate was the victim of an accident. Your parents were the executors of her will and offered a match with you. I took it.”
Despite knowing how the story ended, she still choked on the news. She could feel her eyes bulging out of her skull, and her breath was trapped painfully in her lungs.
“What?” She was married. No pomp and circumstance. No dress or cake. She was married. And what for? She was a bastard. Nothing could come of marrying her off.
Cai pursed his lips.
She stood and paced through the plastos. She lived at a crossroads, caught between two kingdoms because her parents were from neighboring populations, and not allowed to mingle the bloodlines. It was their right to marry her off, even if she was a bastard without a title.
Tossing the top of a plasto open, she hauled the holostacks out and began arranging them in alphabetical order on the built-in shelves. Frustration simmered within her, but like every other time in her life, she was left with no choice.
She’d been naïve enough when she went away to school to think that after explaining her choices to her parents, they would understand her wishes. But if they were marrying her off, it must all be a joke. A big laugh on her. She could still have her life jerked around by her parents. It hurt. She’d thought she was beyond allowing her parents to hurt her by their dismissal, but she was wrong. She loved them, she couldn’t do anything but love them, but she didn’t like them very much right now.
Chapter 2
Jordan attacked one plasto after another. A side table emerged from one; the next held the throw pillows she’d bought in a tribal village. A battered plasto held knickknacks she’d thought she’d lost. It was all hers. Things she’d bought, pieces of the life she’d put together to make herself happy. There wasn’t a shred of her parents or their wealth. Until now. And it came in the form of a man she didn’t know and didn’t want to know.
“Where would you like these?”
She wheeled around and stopped. She’d cut a wide path through unpacking things, leaving the empty boxes in her wake. Cai had followed her, straightening things and packing up the plastos, stacking them until she could see the floor.
He stood a safe distance away from her, three stacks of different-sized plastos at his feet. With his bare chest and loose linen pants, he belonged on a sandy beach instead of in her cold, sterile quarters. His arms hung at his side, while his hands alternately balled into fists and relaxed.
Rolling her shoulders, she gestured to the door. “Put them there, please. I’ll see about taking them to storage later.”
He nodded and scooped up the two smaller stacks.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted.
Cai slowed his trek across the room, giving her a dubious look.
“I mean, I’m sorry I’m not overjoyed about this whole mess. It’s a lot to take in at a moment’s notice.” She rubbed her eyes.
Cai set the plastos by the door and came to stand a few feet away from her. Still out of hitting distance, she noticed.
“Your reaction was not what I expected. Things happened very fast. I should have realized you might not be in communication with your family. It was my mistake as well.”
“No, you’re right, I know, but it’s complicated.” She shrugged.
“When is it not complicated?”
She swallowed, feeling uncomfortable around him, especially now that he was smiling. He was handsome, with arms that bulged and looked as if they could hold a girl. “Yeah, well, do you have any clothes? I could try to find you some.”
The smile evaporated. His hands flexed and relaxed again. Was something wrong? “No, I have clothes in there.” He thumbed at the stasis chamber. “But it’s better like this for now. I need feedback. Fabric diminishes it.”
“What do you mean?” Her scientific curiosity kicked in. What made him need the symbiotic relationship that characterized his race?
“I need to touch, or be touched. Air flowing over the skin simulates the same reaction, but to a lesser degree.” He held his arm up, as if she could see the reactions under his skin.
“Does it hurt if you don’t get the, er…the feedback?”
He shrugged and glanced away. “Eventually, yes.”
She rolled those two words around in her head. His survival depended on the feedback he received from someone else. Now he relied on her, yet he wasn’t going to force her.
His body tensed, his chin lifted a fraction. He might be dependent on her, but it didn’t seem to make him any less proud.
She’d been focused on her life, how unfair this was to her. She scrubbed a hand over her face and called herself several unsavory names.
“Okay, I’m still trying
to get up to speed, Cai. I’m sorry I’m being a selfish bitch. I didn’t even think about how my decisions were going to impact you. What kind of feedback do you need? How does this work?”
“The feedback is generated through touch.”
“Oh.” That didn’t sound bad.
“It’s not that easy.” He shook his head. “There has to be emotion behind it. Touching my shoulder won’t work. That’s why we mate at maturation.”
She drew in a shaky breath. “So you mean you need sex to live?”
Cai’s lips twisted up into a smile. “Tempting to say yes, but no. Emotional connection and physical touch create the necessary reverberation, or feedback, for my body. Sex is, well, it’s like refueling the whole tank. Other, intimate touches have a similar result.” The look he gave her would rev engines. Heat shot through her body making her distinctly uncomfortable as warmth gripped her cheeks. “But, it doesn’t have to be sexual. A kiss. Cuddling. A hug. They don’t work as well, but it gets results.”
“I see.” She bent and tidied a few things so she did something with her hands. “I can’t have sex with you,” she blurted out as she stood.
He straightened, the second armful of plastos in hand. She couldn’t read his expression.
“I don’t know you. I can’t do that. I could hug you, though. That I can do. Hugs aren’t that big of a deal. I’m just–I can’t–please don’t think it’s you, because it’s not.”
He stopped in front of her, plastos between them. “You’re rambling.” His head tilted to the side and the smile returned. “I’d take a hug.”
She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her. She was going to send her parents something evil for next Christmas. Something vile and terrible that would make them disown her.
Cai took the plastos to the door and set them down. He was, she realized, neat. He’d come behind her and tidied everything up while she’d been on her little rampage.
Turning, he crossed back to her more slowly than he’d gone to the door. This time he didn’t stop. He kept coming, invading her personal space. It had been easy to ignore the sheer size of him when he’d been across the room or out of her field of vision. Now he towered over her. The scent of soap, musk and a fragrance like sandalwood clung to his skin.
“Relax,” he murmured. “It’s just a hug, right?”
“Right.” She nodded.
She didn’t enjoy everything about caring for her sharks, but she did it because they needed her. Cai needing feedback was like caring for her sharks.
His hairless chest was at eye level for her. Of the few men she’d seen with as little clothing, they’d had some body hair, but not Cai.
He didn’t make a move to touch her, leaving her to initiate contact. Awkwardly, she pushed her arms under his, circling his waist. She wasn’t even really hugging him. More like, standing very close and touching. It wasn’t bad.
As she began to relax, Cai chuckled and brought his arms up, wrapping them around her waist and shoulders. He tugged her forward until she pressed against his body, her face turned sideways and resting on his shoulder. She didn’t want to cuddle up to this man, even if he did smell great.
Despite the chill of the room, his skin was warm against her face. She could hear his heartbeat, slower and with a slight staccato rhythm as if the valves worked faster. Where her skin touched his it tingled, as if she’d been exposed to a static electricity field. It was strange, and yet nice to be held by him, and hold him in return. But it didn’t mean she liked him.
One hand cupped her neck. His fingers brushed her hair, back and forth. The hand at her waist squeezed her hip, and slid under her shirt.
“What are you doing?” She turned her head to glance over her shoulder, as if she could glare at the offending appendage.
His hand splayed over the small of her back, his touch soft. “I have to touch your skin, remember?”
She took a steadying breath and reminded herself it was for his benefit. Laying her cheek against his shoulder, she realized again how touching him felt different. There was a comparison in her mind, on the tip of her tongue, if only she could remember what it reminded her of. “No, you must have forgotten to mention that bit.”
“Well, how do you think it works?” He chuckled, the deep rumble reverberating against her chest.
“I hadn’t thought about it.” But the need for contact made sense. Sex, kissing and other intimate acts involved a good deal of skin on skin.
Clearing her throat, she brought her mind back to the issue at hand. “Cai, we should discuss our options.” His hand began to rub soothing circles on her lower back. She rebelled against what her brain told her was a bad idea.
“Oh?”
“How, how long do you need the, um, feedback for?” Her traitorous body reacted to his male pheromones. It was the only explanation for the way she relaxed and how she leaned into him.
“Depends. I was in stasis for at least a few days. The unit started malfunctioning halfway through.” He sounded relaxed, and not at all in a hurry.
“Okay.” She wrestled her mind into functioning. “We need to discuss how to fix this and find a way for you to go home, or I don’t know, find a mate or something.”
His hand stilled on her back. “You’re really against the idea of marrying me, aren’t you?”
“It’s nothing personal,” she said quickly. “But, I don’t know you. And I’m a researcher. My life is here. I don’t know what you do, or would do, and I’m not going to satisfy your needs, so yes, we need to find a solution. We can get an annulment, and everything will work out.”
“I see.” He didn’t sound happy about it.
“I just–it seems wrong that you’re dependent.” Pulling back, she gazed up into his bottomless black eyes. “It is wrong. You should be able to go where and do whatever you want.”
His expression was unreadable, but she suspected she’d surprised him somehow.
“Why don’t–why don’t you explain how the feedback works? Maybe I can figure out a solution.”
* * * *
Cai’s fingers traced small circles on her back, the sensation leeching back into his hands. His body ached from the emotional malnourishment. Every so often a twinge of pain made him want to wince. The feedback from her was still weak, but he’d been warned humans’ bodies didn’t communicate the same as his did. It would take time to adjust to her, but the transition period could be a lot of fun.
Jordan peeked at him, her strange, tawny gold eyes boring into his soul. Humans didn’t network as his race did, but they were astute.
Slipping his other hand under her sweater, he flattened his hands against her sides and stroked the sensitive skin. She didn’t respond like a Galairian woman, or even the few human women who had offered themselves to him. They were alive with sexual energy crackling off their skin. Jordan was tightly contained. There was nothing sexual about how she felt toward him, at least not that he’d discerned. She presented him with a strange puzzle, one he was going to have to solve and soon.
“Without feedback, we lose the sensation in extremities.”
“Is that why you’ve been moving your hands?”
He nodded. “Yes. As we mature we lose the ability to provide our own feedback. We have an organ you lack. It allows a kind of psychic networking. As we grow, it lays out a system throughout our body, similar to the nervous system, for example. It sends and receives electric impulses, but not our own.”
Her brow wrinkled. “But what’s its purpose?”
She appeared to have forgotten his touch, now that her mind was engaged. He could taste a salty sweet emotion he had no name for emanating from her. It boosted his system, not as much as a good time between the sheets, but efficiently enough.
“It interconnects us. I can, for lack of a more appropriate word, taste the emotional state of someone I am connected to.”
“That sounds really gross.” Her nose wrinkled adorably.
He wrapped his arms around her
waist, tugging her more firmly against his chest. He benefitted from more skin touching, though if he weren’t careful he was going to end up with a hard-on. He hadn’t expected her to be pretty. Her golden brown hair curled gently. Several strands hung around her face. Every so often she would shove them behind her ear. Her gaze sparkled with intelligence. There was a refined cast to her face in the way her cheekbones tapered, the slight upturn of her nose and the point of her jaw were regal. But underneath her clothing he could feel the strength. He hadn’t known what to expect, but still she surprised him.
“Don’t knock it until you try it.” He chuckled and shrugged. “Or, well, take my word for it.”
Jordan laid her cheek against his shoulder, fitting her head perfectly under his chin. Their bodies were puzzle pieces that clicked into place. He exhaled as a pulse shot through his body, emanating from the points where his body touched hers. He’d never experienced it before. Maybe she didn’t feel the potential between them. He was the one with the ability to taste her emotional state after all, but it was there. A rightness.
He cleared his throat. “We call it the pur. It works as another sense. Humans have the basic five, I have seven. Eight after I’ve mated.”
“What?” She pulled back, her eyes open wide. “Okay, explain.”
“We mate for longevity, not life. With a mate, we form a bond–an ability to sense their bodies, their needs. It’s hard to explain, but you’re more aware of one another.”
“I can’t decide if I like the idea of that or not.” Her hands relaxed and flattened against his spine. “So, it boils down to electrical impulses, right?” She stared past his shoulder.
The feedback from her felt like tiny bubbles blowing over his skin. Fascinated, he watched her face as the wheels in her brain began to turn. He needed to get to work convincing her that their marriage of convenience was a good idea. If not, he’d resort to other means to keep her safe, since that was ultimately his job.
“Cai,” she said sharply.
“Sorry, what?”
“The feedback, it’s like electrical impulses, right? Oh shark bait, magnets. That’s how this feels.” She ran her hand up and down his back.
A Kiss For a Cure Page 2