With Abandon: With or Without, Book 4

by J. L. Langley

  Their breaths mingled and their lips brushed together. Aubrey tilted his head to deepen the contact.

  A sharp trill intruded, breaking the spell. Aubrey jerked back like he’d been shocked by a jolt of electricity. Damn. What had he been thinking?

  Blinking, Matt raised his head and turned it, looking for the sound. A blush stained his cheeks while he fidgeted and took a sudden interest in his hands. “Sorry,” he whispered.

  Aubrey retrieved the cordless phone from the counter next to the fridge and cleared his throat. The caller ID read: Stuart, Tanner. Tanner came from a long line of wolves who had been a part of Aubrey’s pack for generations. Aubrey groaned and clicked talk. “Hello?”

  “Aubrey? Listen, your dad said we should direct all calls to you, and I have a bit of a situation here.” Tanner sounded amused rather than upset.

  “What’s up, Tanner?”

  “Well, it’s kind of a long story.”

  Of course it was. Nothing with pack was quick. “Go on.” Aubrey glanced back at Matt.

  Matt sat at the bar still looking poleaxed.

  Tanner cleared his throat. “Me, Jason and Corde went out last night. We had a few drinks, and one thing led to another and we ended up back at Jase’s house.”

  Uh-oh. Tanner and his friends were good ole country boys, the kind who had gun racks in their trucks and Copenhagen rings on their jeans. They were simple, easygoing and practical, unless they were drinking.

  Aubrey brought the sandwich stuff to the island bar where Matt sat and began fixing them both a sandwich. Where the hell was his dad? Where was Tee’s dad for that matter? Jarred Brandt was the pack Beta. He should be handling this if the Alpha wasn’t available. “And?”

  “We had a bit too much to drink and Corde—”

  Someone—probably Corde—grumbled in the background, proclaiming the whole ordeal to be “Damned stoopid.”

  Aubrey didn’t have a clue what took place, but already he was inclined to agree since alcohol was involved. “What happened?”

  “Long story short?”

  Matt started helping Aubrey with the food. He put mustard on the bread and above the bread he pantomimed spreading the mustard.

  Pointing at the drawer with the knives, Aubrey leaned against the cabinet. “Please.” The shorter the better.

  “Corde peed on Jase’s house, and now Jase is all mad and—”

  “What?”

  Matt froze at the open knife drawer. He slapped a hand to his mouth. His shoulders shook, but he effectively muffled the laugh.

  “He—”

  “Peed on Jase’s house. Yes, I heard you. Put him on the phone.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Aubrey shook his head, unable to decide between laughing and crying.

  “Tell him we’re wolves, not dogs,” Matt whispered. His cheeks tinged bright red from holding back his mirth.

  Exactly. Aubrey groaned. “Just shoot me.”

  Matt’s shoulders shook harder.

  “Umm…hello?” Corde sounded like a repentant child.

  “Peeing outside? What are you, six?” Aubrey asked.

  The dam broke, figuratively speaking. Matt threw down the knife and ran into the guestroom, slamming the door. Loud belly laughs followed.

  Aubrey bit his bottom lip to keep from joining in. “Dude. No. Just no. What were you thinking?”

  “Me? Why is Jase acting like such an ass? This is ridiculous. I can’t believe he’s mad. He was as drunk as I was. It’s not like—”

  “Like you marked your territory on his house?”

  There was silence.

  “Well?”

  “Shit! I didn’t think of that.”

  Tanner laughed in the background almost as loudly as Matt.

  Aubrey let the smirk slide into place, fairly confident he could hold back his laughter now. “Go apologize.”

  “Yes, sir.” Corde hung up.

  Aubrey tossed the phone back onto the counter and picked up on making sandwiches where Matt left off.

  The guestroom door cracked open, and Matt peeked out.

  His joy was infectious and called to something deep inside Aubrey. “You can come out now.”

  “Did he really do that?” Matt perched himself on the barstool and watched the food preparation. “Someone needs to go back to werewolf school. How is it that some wolves are in tune to their natures while others are oblivious?”

  “Corde’s a made wolf. He survived an attack up in Montana a few years ago.”

  “Yeah? That’s pretty rare. Remi and Sterling are the only made wolves I know.”

  Aubrey nodded. Chay’s best friend, Remi, had a hard time learning to be a wolf. “I think it’s different for made wolves.”

  “Don’t they have the same urges and instincts? Remi seems to and I know Sterling does.” Matt propped his elbow on the bar and rested his chin in his hand. His face scrunched in thought.

  “I think so, but they can ignore it easier. Being a wolf to us is ingrained. We grew up knowing what we are, they didn’t. We accept our instincts and trust in them, they fight them.”

  The contradiction of the statement didn’t escape Aubrey. Being a wolf was a proud heritage, yet here he was fighting the innate attraction to his mate.

  Chapter Four

  Matt woke the next morning to silence. Weird. There were no squabbling boys, no slamming doors or a parental unit yelling for everyone to quiet down—which he’d never understood anyway. Shouting did not beget peace—it spawned pointed fingers and a shifting of blame.

  Sitting up in bed, he stretched. He could get used to this. He glanced at the door to his private bathroom. No waiting in line, no hoping the water was warm by the time he managed to get a shower, no toothpaste in the sink. With a smile on his face, he lay back down and listened to absolutely nothing.

  Actually, now that he concentrated, there was a vague sound of cars. But it was distant enough he figured if he wasn’t a wolf and wasn’t straining to hear, he wouldn’t. In fact, it was so quiet that he doubted Aubrey was even up yet. Maybe he could surprise his mate with some homemade cinnamon rolls. Assuming he could find the ingredients. It didn’t matter. Surely there was something in the kitchen he could cook.

  Throwing the covers off, he swung his legs out of bed and staggered to the adjoining bathroom. He grinned at himself in the mirror on his way to the toilet, not even caring that he was a goof. The fact that his mate couldn’t be his mate in truth didn’t seem so bad at the moment. The only thing standing in their way was Aubrey’s sexual preference. And Matt was pretty sure with time he could overcome that.

  After brushing his teeth and splashing water on his face, he put on some jeans and a T-shirt. He sniffed, expecting his mate’s scent to be close. It wasn’t. Aubrey was definitely still in the apartment, but he wasn’t in the bedroom next door where he should be.

  Matt ventured into the living room. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Aubrey’s scent was stronger now. It emanated from across the apartment. He followed his nose past the foyer.

  Thump, thump, thump.

  He jumped and slapped a hand to his chest. Good grief, a person would think he was a cat instead of a wolf. He shook his head at himself. Remaining still for a few moments, he let his pulse slow and waited to see if the knock at the door brought Aubrey out from wherever he was. It didn’t.

  The rapping sounded again in a more rapid fashion.

  Hurrying to the door, he sniffed. The unfamiliar scent held the blandness of a human male and a sharp essence of…nervousness? Should he open it?

  The banging grew more erratic.

  He unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door.

  “Oh.” A handsome Latino man stood with his fist raised to knock again. His dark eyes widened, and the smell of his unease grew. Even though he was only about 5’ 5”, his features proclaimed him older than Matt. His suit was rumpled, like he’d slept in it, and his tie gaped at his neck. Was he someone Aubrey worked with, or a friend?

  “Hello.
” Matt smiled, trying to put the man at ease and figure out who he was to Aubrey.

  “Hi, is Aubrey here?” Leaning to the side, the man peered past Matt into the apartment. “Tell him it’s Carson. I really need to speak to him.”

  Matt was stumped. What should he do? This wasn’t his house, and he had no clue where Aubrey was at the moment. Was he expecting this guy?

  Carson’s shoulders slumped and the smell of nervousness kicked up a notch.

  “Can I tell him what this is in regards to?”

  Carson’s smile was slow to come, but genuine. “It’s a personal matter. I would’ve called, but it’s important, and I thought Aubrey would want to talk face-to-face.”

  Matt hesitated for only a second. The man called Aubrey by name and not Mr. Reynolds, so there must be some familiarity, right? Stepping back, he motioned for Carson to come in.

  Carson hurried inside and the anxious aroma eased. “Thank you. I hate to interrupt, but it’s important.”

  “You didn’t interrupt anything.”

  Carson’s brows shot to his hairline. He looked Matt up and down. “Oh.”

  “I just got up. Why don’t you have a seat on the couch, and I’ll go see if I can find Aubrey.” After watching the man seat himself on the sofa and study the room, Matt followed Aubrey’s scent to a hallway behind the kitchen. He hadn’t noticed this area yesterday. He’d seen the open bathroom door, but not the hallway beyond the bathroom. There were a couple more rooms too. Wow, the condo was huge.

  The first room on the left was a weight room with a good view of downtown Atlanta. Well, that would explain the hard, toned body his mate sported because judging from his brother it didn’t run in the family.

  The next door was closed. Matt hesitated, wondering if he should knock. Even though the alluring, spicy scent was behind this door, there was no sign of activity. He frowned. He didn’t want to disturb Aubrey, but he couldn’t help the sense of urgency Carson had instilled in him.

  With a little scratch of his fingers, he waited half a second before he pushed the door open. Patience had never been Matt’s particular virtue, and he wanted to unravel the mystery of Carson’s presence. The room was an office. A big office, or maybe it was a library. Two of the walls were lined with bookshelves, even though they were only about half full of books. The third and fourth walls were graced with floor-to-ceiling windows covered with dark vertical blinds. A desk faced the door. A couch and coffee table were perpendicular to the desk and faced the windows.

  Aubrey lay sound asleep on the couch, wearing a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. He still wore the clothes he’d been in last night, with a laptop on the table beside him and a cordless phone on his chest.

  Matt hurried over and carefully lifted the phone. He set it on the table and glanced down at Aubrey. It was odd, but he managed to look older, more mature, with similar features that made his younger brother look like a teenager.

  Gently he rubbed Aubrey’s shoulder. “Aubrey? Aubrey, wake up.”

  Aubrey’s long lashes fluttered a few times then he squinted up at Matt. A slow grin spread across his face, and he blinked several more times before opening his eyes half-mast. “Hi.”

  “Good morning.” Matt smiled back. “You look good in glasses.”

  Aubrey sat up. “Thanks. Can’t read without them. Pretty strange for a wolf, but it runs in the family.” He took the glasses off, set them on the arm of the sofa and rubbed his eyes.

  “Not really. Chay says that human eyes are quite a bit different from wolf eyes.” Matt shrugged.

  “Yeah, he told me that too. Went into a long drawn-out vet explanation and I zoned.” Yawning, Aubrey stretched his hands over his head. His back popped, and he winced. “What time is it? I had a bout of insomnia last night and came in here to work. I must have fallen asleep.”

  “Yeah. I followed your scent.”

  Aubrey patted the sofa next to him.

  Matt shook his head. “I hated to wake you, but there’s someone here to see you. I didn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t have let him in except he said it was important. He said his name is Carson.”

  Aubrey stopped in the middle of rolling his shoulders. His face went blank, and the last remnants of sleep fell away as he met Matt’s gaze. “Carson?”

  Uh-oh. “You don’t know a Carson? Did I mess up? I can make him leave. I’m sorry. I—”

  “No, it’s okay.” Standing, Aubrey clutched Matt’s arm and squeezed. “You did fine, Matt. I know him. I was just surprised.” Aubrey let go of Matt and stretched some more. As he turned his face toward the open door, his nose twitched. He was a typical wolf, scenting the air. “Did he say why he was here?”

  “No. Should I go ask?”

  “I’ll talk to him. Come on.” They walked together to the end of the hall, and Aubrey stepped into the bathroom. “Go ahead and tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He closed the door, leaving Matt to wonder if he’d done the right thing. His mate didn’t seem mad, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to speak to Carson either. Hmmm…

  Carson turned to look at Matt as he entered the big open space that consisted of the kitchen, den and dining room.

  “Aubrey will be right out.”

  Carson nodded. “Thank you.” His gaze traced up and down Matt again.

  “You’re welcome.” Matt headed to the kitchen, trying to put Carson out of his mind for now. Should he offer Carson a drink? Would Aubrey want the man staying long enough to finish a drink? Matt decided to wait and take a cue from Aubrey when he arrived.

  Matt opened the fridge. Apparently Aubrey didn’t share his brother’s legendary aversion to cooking because the refrigerator was fully stocked. Next, Matt located the pantry. It too was loaded.

  He searched through cabinets for the things he needed to make homemade cinnamon rolls. If he could find some yeast… There. Yes. All the other ingredients were normal stock kitchen items.

  The bathroom door down the hall clicked open, and within a few moments Aubrey appeared.

  Despite his pep talk about not caring, Matt found himself watching the living room out of the corner of his eye. Carson stood as Aubrey came into the room.

  “Carson?”

  “I’m sorry for turning up like this, but I needed to talk to you. I have a problem.” Carson waited for Aubrey to come to the couch before resuming his seat.

  Matt pulled the mixer out of the bottom cabinet and plugged it in, trying to pretend like he wasn’t eavesdropping.

  “What’s wrong?” Aubrey asked.

  Carson lowered his voice to a whisper. “Is it okay to talk in front of him?”

  It didn’t take a genius to guess that “him” was Matt. Which piqued Matt’s interest. He opened the refrigerator door in search of eggs. It dawned on him that Aubrey was hesitating. If Aubrey wanted him to leave…

  “Yeah. Matt’s cool. What’s going on?”

  Matt let out the breath he’d been holding, knowing full well that Aubrey could hear it.

  “I did something stupid.” Carson hesitated. “I slept with Boskie.”

  “You did what?”

  Wincing at Aubrey’s cutting tone, Matt assembled all the other ingredients he’d need for cinnamon rolls. After a few minutes Matt learned that Carson worked for Aubrey in some capacity, and Boskie was a CEO with Reynolds Inc. Carson had tried to break the affair off, and Boskie threatened to fire him. Boskie was apparently married with three children and old enough to be Carson’s father. Ouch. Matt didn’t envy Aubrey having to deal with the situation, but it took a load off Matt’s mind. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but the truth of the situation had him feeling more at ease. While letting the bread rise, he cleaned up his mess and pretty much stopped listening to the conversation.

  He was putting the pan in the oven when Carson’s voice lowered to a whisper again. “No wonder you didn’t want a blowjob yesterday. I wouldn’t have either if I’d had him waiting at home for me.”

  A knot formed in Matt’s sto
mach, knocking the breath out of him. Aubrey was gay?

  Matt met his mate’s startled gaze over the kitchen counter as the pan clattered to the floor.

  “Matt?” Aubrey stood, ignoring Carson. Damn it. He should’ve told Matt the truth. He’d hoped Carson wouldn’t give anything away. But Carson obviously put two and two together. Would other people recognize his and Matt’s bond? Jesus, he couldn’t even go there right now. He had to fix things with Matt. Had he really thought it would hurt Matt less if he let Matt believe he was straight?

  “Sorry.” Matt’s voice cracked as he turned away. He squatted to pick up the contents from the tray he’d dropped and started rambling. “It slipped out of my hand. Only a few fell on the floor. I’ll cook the rest. Would you two like something to drink? I found oranges. I can make orange juice, or there’s tea. There’s water and Cokes too. Or I can just…” Matt ducked his head much lower than necessary to see the mess on the floor.

  Shit, shit, shit. Aubrey darted around the couch and the kitchen counter. He caught Matt’s hand as he reached for the last dropped cinnamon roll. “Matt?”

  Matt looked up, eyes like a deer in headlights. He wore the exact expression he’d had upon discovering Aubrey was his mate, only this time the scent coming off him wasn’t anxiety. It was despair.

  Aubrey hated himself at that moment. Nothing had changed, yet everything had. The reasons they couldn’t be together still existed, but he had to make things right. He’d have to find a way he and Matt could continue to be around one another. Matt made him happy, even in the short time he’d been here. Before he’d discovered their connection Aubrey anticipated Matt’s texts…a little too eagerly. He’d gotten so wrapped up in waiting for responses from Matt he’d fallen behind on some of his work. He hadn’t even been able to find himself a new executive assistant after his last one quit the week before because he’d been happily preparing for Matt’s arrival.

  “I’m sorry,” Matt whispered as he stood. “I don’t expect— You don’t have to—” His gaze dropped to the floor again, and he turned his back on Aubrey. He put the pan in the oven and went to the pantry.