by Anna Kashina
She smiled, surprised at how much this casual compliment pleased her.
“I look forward to seeing you on the training grounds soon, Aghat Raishan,” she said.
Mai’s next few steps took him to the rooms housing the Rubies injured at the tournament. Some of them were still in bad shape, but the doctors in attendance assured him that most of them were expected to recover completely, and within a reasonable time. As Mai made his rounds, stopping by the patients’ beds and exchanging words of encouragement and reassurance, everyone’s eyes followed him with fascination and reverence.
Kara watched this with mixed feelings. Some of these men had been wounded by her swords before she had realized, in the heat of the mêlée, that something was wrong. Fighting with a bare blade, as opposed to a staff with the blades one could draw or retract on command, could be a disadvantage in such a case. One of the Rubies had fallen right on her sword, and she hadn’t been able to do anything to avert it. She was glad that none of them seemed to be holding it against her. In fact, they all smiled and saluted her, many eyes following her with expressions of awe.
Their last stop brought them to a smaller room at the end of the hallway. Kara’s heart quivered as she followed Mai toward the freckled man with a bandaged chest, who shakily stood to attention beside his bed, watching the approaching group with a pale face.
She did not think she could ever look at this man again without a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. In fact, she hoped she’d never have to see this man again.
“Gahang Sharrim,” Mai said.
The Jade saluted and sank down to one knee. “Aghat Mai. I–”
Mai’s short glance froze the words on his lips. “You’ve disobeyed your orders and violated a ceasefire, Gahang. I believe you are aware of what kind of punishment is warranted. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”
The Jade’s saluting hand trembled. “I am sorry for shooting you, Aghat Mai.”
“It’s not about me, Gahang.”
Sharrim’s lips quivered and, to her surprise, Kara saw tears standing in his eyes.
“I was guided by a foolish sense that my actions might somehow erase your past, Aghat Mai. I did not want to see you get hurt. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you myself. Not in a lifetime.” His voice sank to a whisper as he looked at Mai with the devotion of a loyal dog waiting to be struck by its master.
Mai shook his head. “Once again, Gahang, this has nothing to do with your personal feelings. As you well know, the Majat Guild depends on the ability of its men to follow orders.”
Sharrim lowered his eyes. “I am aware of how unforgivable my actions were, Aghat Mai, and will gladly accept my punishment. But... if you choose to spare me and give me an opportunity to prove my loyalty to you, I swear I will never again violate my orders.”
Mai appeared to hesitate.
“I know that at heart you are a good man, Gahang,” he said. “And I do realize that the circumstances that surrounded your actions were far out of the ordinary. I also know that you are the best archer our Guild has seen in decades. However, I need an assurance that I can trust you.”
“You can trust me, Aghat Mai. I swear.”
Mai nodded.
“I am placing you on probation. Any further incident will result in your permanent removal from the ranks, with the punishment determined by your superior officers.”
Sharrim’s lips trembled.
“Thank you, Aghat Mai. I will not fail you again.” His voice sank to a near-whisper and Kara saw a tear roll down his cheek as he watched Mai depart.
He remained kneeling after Mai exited. Kara hesitated, wondering if she should call for help. With his recent wound, she wasn’t sure he should be up and about, let alone kneeling down. Could he rise on his own without hurting himself even more?
He noticed her look and shakily got to his feet, watching her. Relieved, she turned to go, but his words stopped her.
“Aghat Kara?”
She paused, surprised that he had addressed her. She forced her face into a calm expression, unwilling to show how much this man unnerved her.
“That was a shadow throw, wasn’t it?” Sharrim said, eyeing her with awe. “I thought it was impossible to perform. I didn’t believe anyone had actually done it in the past, despite what the chronicles say. To my knowledge, no one in our Guild has been able to do it for centuries.”
Kara’s lips twitched. “I felt inspired, Gahang.”
He swallowed. “I… I’m sorry for trying to shoot you down, Aghat Kara. And, I know I have no right to say this – not after what happened – but I am so glad Aghat Mai spared your life.”
Kara couldn’t help but smile. She suddenly saw this man for who he was, barely her senior, a talented archer who put his skill above all else. She also remembered the way he looked at Mai. In addition to the loyalty and admiration she had seen in nearly everyone today, Sharrim’s eyes held more. He looked at Mai as an object of his love.
Whether or not she shared the same feeling, she understood exactly how he felt.
She let out a breath.
“Yes, Gahang,” she said. “Me too.”
After the medical barracks, Mai left to attend to business in his office. Kara remained outside, striding along the grounds with unseeing eyes. It felt as if a burden had been lifted off her shoulders, and until it was gone she hadn’t fully realized how heavy it had been. She was free, truly and unconditionally, and could do anything she wanted with her future. She could now go back with Kyth and live at court, and perhaps even work her way up into the line of prospective brides for the royal heir. She could also return to the Guild and resume her rank – a prized fighter, royalty in her own right, and a hero to her people. The Majat Guildmaster was a powerful man indeed to grant her all these things in one very short conversation. The only thing now was to decide what she wanted – and for some reason she was finding the decision harder than anticipated.
When she had lived on a death roll, with a firm understanding that every day could be her last, she became used to giving in to immediate impulses, without thinking of the longer-term consequences. This mind set, as she now realized, drove her to continue her relationship with Kyth, which was enjoyable and meant so much to him, despite being aware that it couldn’t possibly end well. This same type of recklessness also drove her to explore her feelings for Mai, allowing herself the freedom she would have never considered if she hadn’t believed they were both going to die. And now, the choice that lay before her was really the choice between these two men. Except that, even if she decided to stay at the Guild, any possibility of a relationship with Mai was off limits. Had he remained a regular Diamond, they could at least engage in occasional physical closeness, provided that they never allowed it to progress to an emotional level – which of course may no longer have been possible. But the Majat Guildmaster was not permitted to have personal bonds of any kind, definitely not with one of his subordinates.
Kara was surprised to realize that this thought kept returning to her again and again. Whatever she thought she felt for Mai, having him in her life was not an option, and she would do best to forget all about it. She was choosing between staying with Kyth and exploring her feelings for him, or staying at the Guild and admiring Mai from afar, like the rest of the Guild members. The first choice also involved trying to become someone else, fitting into a court life she had no idea about. The second, loveless choice, meant resuming the life she had been born to and learning to fully accept all its privileges and limitations.
One way or the other, it all narrowed down to Kyth. Did she love him enough to renounce what she was? Or did her rank in the Guild mean so much to her that she was willing to leave him behind?
Unwittingly, her feet brought her to the upper guest quarters, a low stone building with luxurious apartments inside that housed important visitors. She took a deep breath and made her way inside.
Kyth was sitting at a desk, buried in a pile of books and scrolls
. His face lit up as he saw her, and when he rose to meet her she saw him shiver as he looked searchingly into her face.
“I am so glad you are alive,” he breathed out. Then he stepped forward and swept her into his arms.
She relaxed against him. It was good to see him this way, after the painful days when he had looked at her with a hurt expression that made her quiver every time she met his gaze. It was good to know that he had finally forgiven her for what she had done and to realize from his welcome that the option of staying with him was open to her if she wanted it. He still loved her, that was clear. But how did she feel about him?
His hands caressed her and she gave in to it, searching for the feeling his touch used to evoke in her before. She felt strange that despite everything they had, she couldn’t even fully relax in his arms, as if their previous closeness had never happened. It almost seemed that if she were to explore her feelings for him, she would have to start all the way back at the beginning of their relationship, when he, a naive boy, had worked so hard to break through her armor of a trained fighter and reach the woman inside.
His lips brushed hers, asking for a kiss. She hesitated. After everything that had happened, she wasn’t sure she was ready. She needed more time.
She turned away, kissing his cheek instead, and glanced past his shoulder at the desk.
“What’s all this?”
He held her for a moment longer, then dropped his hands and stepped away, hope in his eyes mixing with disappointment.
“I am preparing for the upcoming negotiations. I am supposed to read up on protocol, so that I can hold myself well enough to convince the Majat to accept our alliance.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure Mai’s head is in the right place about this. He wants the Kaddim destroyed as much as you do.”
A shadow ran across his eyes at the mention of Mai’s name.
“I’m not sure if I would rather have negotiated with your old Guildmaster.”
She sighed. “Useless to think about it now. Besides, if you had negotiated with Aghat Oden Lan, it would have meant that I was dead.”
He nodded, his shiver telling her how relieved he felt. She swallowed a lump, something that happened to her far too often these days.
How could she possibly hesitate, when this sweet, innocent man with a pure heart offered himself to her so unconditionally? Mai’s closeness had confused her, but their brief and crazy relationship was over, with no possibility of return. She belonged here, with Kyth, didn’t she? She wanted it to be this way, she realized. If she could rediscover her feelings for Kyth it would make her life so easy, offering her a safe haven of happiness, now that the threat of her Guild’s wrath was no longer looming over her. Why couldn’t she just settle for it? Why did the memory of her other feelings, the ones that weren’t meant to be, keep haunting her even in another man’s arms?
A creak of the opening door interrupted her thoughts. Magister Egey Bashi strode in, with Lady Celana in his wake. The royal lady’s eyes flicked with swift displeasure that forced Kara to step away from the Prince even before she could give it any thought.
Egey Bashi greeted her with a quick nod. “Glad to see you well, Aghat – and congratulations on yours and Aghat Mai’s brilliant victory. It was a sight not to be forgotten and such a relief to us all that it ended so well.”
“Thank you, Magister,” she said, wondering at how, despite her relief that things had turned out so well, she was having such trouble getting rid of an emptiness in her chest. She knew that long and strenuous battles often took a while to recover from. This was all it was, she told herself firmly. It had to be.
“Time to head for your negotiations, Your Highness,” Egey Bashi said to Kyth. “Everyone’s waiting.”
Kyth nodded, picking up his coronet and royal cloak. Kara followed him, falling in stride with the Keeper, in his wake.
“I wonder if I should be there,” she said quietly.
Egey Bashi shrugged. “You’ll be there, Aghat, whether or not you are in the room. I just hope both of them can look past it and focus on the more important things.”
22
NEGOTIATIONS
Kyth knew that the Majat Guildmaster normally received visitors in his study, in the tower at the edge of the Inner Fortress. He was surprised when they were led a different way, through a gated archway, into an ornate stone building on the other side of the plaza.
The large hall inside rivaled the King’s throne room in its age and grandeur. Walking over the flagstones toward the group waiting for them at the other end, Kyth realized that, in a way, this was a throne room. In this Fortress, as well as in the outside lands, the Majat Guildmaster had at least as much power as a king.
Kyth frowned as he walked. Ever since assuming his station, Mai had been running things on a grand scale, like a carefully prepared show. While Kyth supposed it was important for a new commander to assume his position with a certain ceremony, he had a feeling that Mai was enjoying all this glamor perhaps a bit too much.
Mai received the Crown Prince seated, with Master Abib and several senior Majat standing at the sides of his tall, massive chair. Kyth saw Mai’s eyes narrow when he noticed Kara in his suite, and he couldn’t help feeling just a bit smug about it. She had fulfilled her obligation to Mai by standing at his side through his difficult battle. And now, this man couldn’t possibly have any claim to her.
Kyth stopped five paces away from the chair, bowing to the exact extent he believed was warranted by protocol.
“Aghat Mai,” he said formally.
“Prince Kythar.” Mai’s eyes bore into him, and Kyth imagined a touch of quiet challenge in his gaze.
He had gone through an extensive talk with Egey Bashi that afternoon on how, in this conversation, he should dismiss any thoughts of their personal rivalry, but he couldn’t possibly help it. Mai was a showoff and a ruthless man, with no respect for anyone who did not share his rank. He was also a man who could seduce a woman for sport and use her to his own ends. Kyth swallowed this last thought, glancing at Kara standing a few steps behind.
Kyth knew that Mai was aware of his exact mission, but he now realized that this man was not going to make it easy by facilitating the conversation. Kyth had to go through all the formalities with no help whatsoever from the other side, and embarrass himself to the full if he missed any of the protocol details. Not that he expected it to be any other way.
Kyth lifted his chin.
“Guildmaster,” he said. “My father, King Evan, has sent me here in the hope that we can forge an alliance between the Majat Guild and the kingdom of Tallan Dar in our fight against the Kaddim. This request is backed by Magister Egey Bashi of the Order of Keepers,” he indicated Magister Egey Bashi, “Lady Celana of the Royal House Illitand, and Alder, the emissary from the Forestlands.” And Ellah, the truthseer who will see right through your scheming. He glanced at his friend, standing quietly at Egey Bashi’s side. Mai knew she was a truthseer, which somewhat reduced the advantage they’d hoped for when they originally planned the negotiations with the old Guildmaster. Still, Kyth willed this man to tell a lie. Ellah would see right through it, and she would signal him as she stood there with her hand resting against her thigh. If he was telling the truth, she would hold out one finger. If a lie, two.
Mai’s eyes slid over Kara again. Kyth was willing to bet the man was wondering why she was here as part of his suite, and he couldn’t help letting out a small smile of triumph. She is mine, his eyes told Mai. Not yours.
Mai leaned back in his chair.
“As I’m sure you are aware, Prince Kythar,” he said, “the Majat Guild has retained its high standing through the centuries by maintaining full political neutrality. A formal alliance between the Majat and your kingdom is impossible.”
“Impossible?” Kyth’s eyes widened. Hadn’t this man learned diplomacy? Didn’t he know that even in the heat of an argument an ambassador should never be met with a straight rejection?
; Mai held his gaze, an annoying smile playing on his lips. “Through the entire history of our Guild, the Majat has formed no alliance with anyone. Doing so would violate everything we are.”
“But…” Kyth continued to look at him in disbelief. Was Mai going to throw away everything? Had they traveled here in vain?
He struggled to steady his voice.
“The Kaddim are your enemies too,” he said.
Mai nodded. “Yes. And we intend to deal with them, I assure you. On our terms.”
“On your terms?” Kyth still couldn’t believe what was happening. In a few words Mai was destroying everything they had been fighting for. He knew what was at stake, didn’t he?
“Yes,” Mai said, seemingly undisturbed. “The Majat will deal with the Kaddim the way we believe is warranted. You may join our forces, if you wish, but it must be done under our command.”
“Your command.”
“Yes.”
Kyth took a breath. Was Mai out of his mind? For Shal Addim’s sake, Kyth had saved him from the Kaddim, once. Had he forgotten?
“You know, Aghat Mai,” he said, “that I am the only one who can resist the Kaddim power.”
Mai smiled. “That is hardly true, Prince Kythar. I can resist it too. As well as Aghat Kara.” His eyes hovered on her again, and Kyth saw a brief expression of regret in his gaze. Was he feeling sorry he couldn’t force himself on her again in the heat of a fight?
Kyth forced down his racing thoughts. This was exactly what Egey Bashi had warned him about. He was here as an ambassador, and ambassadors had to distance themselves from personal feelings when conducting a negotiation.
“I can protect others from their power, Aghat Mai,” Kyth said. “Before you acquired your… resistance to them,” because of your feelings for her, “I was the one who protected you, once. If I remember, you even mentioned that you felt indebted to me after that time, didn’t you?”