by Anna Kashina
Twelve hands shakily rose up. Mai held a pause, running his eyes along the entranced faces.
“Capital,” he said. “Elected by unanimous vote. I will make sure to inform King Evan how enthusiastic the Conclave was in supporting His Majesty’s choice. Congratulations, Reverend Bartholomeos.” He actually bowed to the priest this time, making Kyth stare. Did Mai still remember how to bend his back to anyone?
Kyth let out a sigh. This was likely the shortest and the most unanimous meeting in the history of the Holy Conclave – and definitely the only one conducted in such a public setting. Mai was probably the only person in history who could actually pull this off.
“Now,” Mai said, turning to the rest of the ranks. “As soon as the Holy Fathers here ensure that my men haven’t missed anyone on the grounds, you may all put your robes back on and resume your duties.” He turned to Bartholomeos. “I can leave a small force behind to assist you, Holy Father.”
Bartholomeos smiled. “Thank you, Aghat Mai. I appreciate the thought, but, as long as no Kaddim are here, I’d prefer to do things my way. We priests don’t feel comfortable around weapons.”
Mai nodded. “Just let us know if you need anything, Holy Father. We will remain in Aknabar for a few days to tend to the wounded before continuing on to Tandar to meet with the King.”
“After I settle things here,” Bartholomeos said, “I might join you on your trip, Aghat Mai. With your permission, of course. I understand from Prince Kythar that your victory on these grounds still leaves open questions on whether our enemies might recover enough to come back in force one day. I’ve heard a thing or two during my imprisonment that might come in handy when you and the King discuss further steps – as I assume you will.”
“Definitely,” Mai said. “And, thank you. We’ll welcome your company and appreciate any information you can give.”
36
THE CHOICE
Mistress Yba’s inn had been transformed once again, from a war camp into hospital grounds. After making funeral arrangements for their fallen comrades, five Sapphires and one Jade, Mai had personally joined the improvised medical team that also included Raishan, Kara, Ellah, and Egey Bashi. Majat field training in caring for the wounds, combined with Egey Bashi’s experience and the healing properties of the numerous substances carried in the pouches at his belt, did wonders for everyone’s speedy recovery.
Only a few grave injuries were treated by the elixir, and in each case a quick consultation between the Keeper and the Diamonds in the group resulted in knocking out the patient for the duration of the healing. Kyth marveled at the quick efficiency with which they could hit one or two pressure points to cause a wounded man to pass out for a specified amount of time. He realized now why Mai and Raishan had been so upset when Egey Bashi forbade them to do it to Kara, whose suffering would have been so much less if they had been allowed to. Seeing the dazed looks when the patients came to, he also understood why the Keeper had refused that time. With the gravity of Kara’s wound, she would have been unlikely to have awoken at all. He shivered, watching the potency of the substance that could make serious wounds disappear without a trace in mere minutes.
It took five days to get everyone back on their feet and into travel formation. On the morning of the sixth, they bade farewell to Mistress Yba, who walked them out into the street, bowing so deeply with every few steps that Kyth secretly wondered if she was finally going to tip over. The large woman finally stopped by the inn’s doorway, watching them with tears in her eyes. Kyth realized that she had been viewing the entire operation, which in his mind bordered on a nightmare he hoped soon to forget, as the honor of a lifetime, when she, a simple innkeeper, got to host a Majat Guildmaster and a hundred of his top men. In a way, Kyth could understand her feelings. Mai, in his dashing outfit, surrounded by his Emerald Guards, could certainly give anyone enough to remember for years and years to come. As he stopped in the doorway and personally thanked her for the help, putting in some of the charm and eloquence he was capable of, she finally dissolved into sobs and nearly fainted on the spot. Kyth was surprised to see that even this woman, whose gender distinctions required a careful observer to notice, seemed to be smitten with Mai. He also wondered at the way the Guildmaster took it in his stride, as if expecting nothing else.
Despite the abundance of inns on the road from Aknabar to Tandar, Mai chose to camp, which was perhaps wise, considering the size of their party. After some discussion he grudgingly conceded to erect small tents for Lady Celana and Father Bartholomeos on every stop to observe the protocol. Celana had offered for Ellah to share her tent, and the two girls spent a lot of time together, chatting by the fireside.
Kyth could only wonder. While both of them were among the smartest people he knew, he never realized either girl was prone to forming easy friendships, especially given the gap between their ranks – a royal lady from an ancient Lakeland fortress, and a commoner from a Forestland village. But here they were, spending most of their time together, and welcoming Kyth and Alder into their company after every evening meal.
Sitting next to them by the fire, Kyth was beginning to feel that, if he wasn’t ready to develop any special feelings for Lady Celana, he definitely was ready to enjoy her friendship and the affection she showed him when they sat together side by side. Her looks, the way she blushed when she met his gaze, made his self-esteem soar, even if he took care not to lead her to any assumptions he was not ready to back up with his confused feelings.
In all this time, he found no opportunity at all to be alone with Kara. She was always in the middle of the Majat. Kyth had no doubt that she fully deserved the way all of them, even the arrogant Lance, regarded her with affection and admiration. He could tell how much it pleased her to be welcomed back into their company after being an outcast for such a long time. He was happy for her, even if each of these gatherings distanced her from him more and more, with nothing whatsoever he could do about it.
One evening, after a few days’ travel, he felt he couldn’t take it anymore. He rose abruptly in the middle of one of Lady Celana’s stories about the history of the Westland Royals of his clan and walked off into the forest, aware how the conversation behind him trailed to a stop as his friends watched his retreating back. He felt guilty about doing it, but he couldn’t help it. Watching Kara laughing, sitting next to Mai on the other side of the camp amidst the Majat, suddenly seemed like too much.
Kyth strode through the forest until the voices by the campsite reduced to a distant echo, and settled on a log at the edge of a small moonlit glade. No matter what, he could never stop thinking about Kara. During the past weeks, she had been very friendly toward him, but he could tell something was missing. He had experienced it once before when, after her near-death experience back in the Grasslands, she had retreated into her private Majat world and spent weeks training alongside Mai and Raishan, before emerging back to her old self. That time, she eventually returned to him of her free will and they spent the most amazing time getting to know each other better and exploring their new closeness. She had made Kyth so happy that he believed they had both found love. Back then, it seemed so natural to submerge into that wondrous feeling without giving any thought whatsoever to what lay in their future. And now, he still felt every bit as strongly about her, but he wasn’t sure about her feelings anymore.
When she retreated into Majat company this time, it seemed similar to what had happened before, and yet he could also sense differences: the way she only seemed fully comfortable when Mai was nearby; the way the two shared private glances and moved in unison, as if sensing each other’s thoughts; the way Mai sprang to alertness every time she was in sight. It was unsettling to watch.
He heard a rustle of footsteps behind him and turned around to see Kara.
Her face was in shadow. Moonlight touched the molten gold of her hair resting against the dark skin of her cheek, making it gleam. She looked so exquisite that Kyth’s breath caught in his throat as he watch
ed her approach.
“Can I join you?” she asked.
He rose to meet her. Before he knew it, he stepped forward and swept her into his arms, holding her close, inhaling the faint floral scent of her skin and hair. His lips found hers in a kiss, and she responded, the sensation echoing through his body, clouding his mind. It took him a moment to realize her reluctance, the way she held back. Her lips closed as she turned her face away, brushing his cheek with hers.
His hands fell away, releasing her.
“Kyth,” she said quietly.
He stood, his arms lowered by his sides, his heart sinking as she slowly disengaged from him.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
Kyth froze.
During the last few weeks, he had been living through this moment again and again in his mind, preparing for the worst. He thought he was ready to accept her decision, even if it shattered his heart. He thought he could take it, and wish her happiness, whatever path she chose to follow.
He didn’t expect this sinking feeling that rose in his stomach before she had even said anything, making his legs so weak that suddenly even standing upright seemed like an effort.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
He nodded, giving in to the weakness in his knees as he sank back to the log he had been sitting on before she arrived.
She sat next to him, so close that he could feel her warmth by his side.
“I...” she said, “I never meant to hurt you. I guess, in this situation, it couldn’t be helped.”
Kyth nodded again. He felt so drained that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to speak again.
“I should never have given you hope in the first place,” Kara went on. “The way I was brought up, the way I was taught to respond to men... it left no room for the feelings that are so natural to you. At some point, I felt I could become like you. You were the first one who ever made me feel so special. It was... intoxicating.”
Kyth opened his mouth. He could speak, he discovered, if he tried hard enough.
“You are special,” he said quietly. And yes, intoxicating was the right word. It had been intoxicating. It still felt that way as she sat next to him, so beautiful that all he ever wanted to do was watch her face.
She smiled sadly. “Not in the way you mean it. What I realized lately, after thinking about it a lot, is that if I stayed with you I could never be fully myself. Regardless of my feelings for you, I don’t think I could live with that. Sooner or later, I would be bound to hurt you even more.”
He nodded. Through the numbness of his grief, he did understand. He could see it too. However happy she made him feel, court life was not for her. And he – even if he renounced his birthright for her sake, he could never fit into her world.
“What are you going to do?” he asked quietly.
She kept silent for a while.
“Mai offered for me to resume my rank at the Guild,” she said.
“Are you going to?”
She paused again. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Do you love him?” The words came out before he could think them through. He regretted it immediately, but it was too late.
She kept silent for so long this time that he was afraid she was never going to speak again.
“I do,” she said. “But my feelings toward him are irrelevant.”
“Irrelevant?”
She shrugged. “He’s the Majat Guildmaster. His post makes it impossible for anyone even to look at him that way.”
“You can’t forbid anyone to look,” Kyth protested.
“Perhaps not. But there is no possibility of ever acting on it.”
Kyth turned to look at her face, still in shadow. He recognized the air of detached calmness, her personal form of armor she receded into every time her feelings became too involved.
“So, you’re deciding whether to return to the Guild so that you can stay by his side and admire him from afar, or to leave and pursue another kind of life?”
“Yes,” she said quietly. “At the moment, I am not sure I can live with either.”
“You deserve so much more.”
“I deserve,” she said, “whatever comes my way. I was born to be a Diamond, even if resuming my post at the Guild may become unbearable with the way things have turned out. The question is: can I ever be anything else?”
Kyth continued to watch her.
“He loves you, you know,” he said.
“How can you possibly know that?”
“I just do. Trust me. For someone who shares these feelings it is always possible to tell.”
Her lips trembled and she quickly looked away.
“Whether or not he does, he also knows the limitations of his position. If he truly feels this way about me, I would be torturing him too by staying at his side.”
“Shouldn’t you at least give him the choice?”
She sighed. “There is no choice.”
“He could step down from his post. He did it once before for your sake.”
She shook her head. “I would never ask him to do that again, not for my sake. This post fits him so well. But even if he did step down, it wouldn’t make it any more possible for us to be together. If he did, he would become a regular Diamond with all the restrictions applied by the Guild to this rank.”
Kyth shivered. All this time, he thought he was the one being miserable. And now, facing her grief, the trap she found herself in, made him feel as if his own suffering couldn’t possibly compare to what she had to endure.
She was the most amazing woman in the world. All this time, he thought she was choosing between two men who loved her with all their hearts, and that whatever choice she made would bring her happiness. And now, the choice she was making was breaking her heart, and Kyth was powerless to do anything to help.
He reached over and put an arm around her. She leaned into him, relaxing against his shoulder.
“Whatever happens to you,” he said, “I will always be there for you. You can always count on having a place at court, and on having a devoted friend who will go to great lengths to make sure you can lead a good life.”
She turned her face into his shoulder and he enfolded her with both arms, gently stroking her hair. Her breath came out in a short gasp that felt like a stifled sob. Yet, when she finally disengaged herself, her voice came out calm and even, showing nothing of the turmoil going on inside.
“Thank you, Kyth,” she said. “I couldn’t wish for a better friend than you. And... I am very sorry for causing you pain.”
Amends
The streets of the Crown City of Tandar were lined with people, waving flowering branches and throwing petals under the horses’ hooves. Riding in Kyth’s wake, Egey Bashi couldn’t stop wondering which member of their large and impressive party caused the most turmoil. The Reverend Father of the Church, attended by the twelve priests of the Conclave, certainly stirred a reaction, as well as the Crown Prince, riding next to the heiress of the Royal House Illitand, both in formal garb, looking as good together as if they were a couple. But perhaps the most unusual sight was the Majat Guildmaster with his impressive suite that easily outnumbered the rest of the procession and made the whole train look like a minor invasion into the heart of the kingdom. The fact that this force could indeed turn into an invasion and achieve easy victory on Mai’s whim was too unsettling to dwell on. Perhaps this was the reason a Majat Guildmaster had not led an embassy into any kingdom in over five hundred years.
The front courtyard of the King’s castle was appropriately rearranged to receive the high guests. The King himself stood at the entrance, with Mother Keeper by his side. Egey Bashi felt warmth wash over him as he briefly met her eyes. She curtseyed to Mai, who dismounted in the middle of the courtyard and approached the King with the Emerald Guards in his wake. The Majat Pentade instantly sank to one knee, each man saluting with a fist to the chest. Mai signaled for them to resume their posts as he stopped in front of the King.
The two men exchanged brief nods, acknowledging their equality in rank. Quite a change, Egey Bashi reflected, from the time when Mai left this court just a short while ago.
The King stepped forward and extended his hands in welcome.
“Aghat Mai,” he said. “Congratulations on your new post.”
Mai bowed his head, his brief glance of amusement answered by the King’s smile.
“Thank you, Your Majesty,” he said.
“We’ve received a brief report of your victory at the Monastery,” the King said. “And wish to extend our profound gratitude for your help in dealing with a very dangerous enemy.”
Mai smiled.
“I appreciate your kind words, Your Majesty. However, it would be unfair for me to take all the credit. Our attack would have been impossible without Prince Kythar, whose talent and courage not only saved my Guild from infiltration, but also protected my men, enabling them to fight. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we wouldn’t be alive and victorious if it wasn’t for him.”
Egey Bashi was aware of the entire courtyard going still. The Prince’s mouth literally fell open, and the Keeper felt about to mirror this expression. What Mai had said seemed so unlike the arrogant and ruthless image he maintained, so different from the way he and Kyth had been at each other’s throats ever since Middledale. And, he was right, of course. Without Kyth’s ability to protect Mai’s men from the Kaddim, without his willingness to surrender all the command to Mai and face the ensuing hardships and humiliations, the whole operation would have been impossible. Without the Prince’s resolve to put his entire self on the line, the Kaddim would have won.
“My men and I,” Mai went on, “are indebted to His Royal Highness. We all owe him our lives, as well as the lives of our comrades back at the Guild.”