by Leela Ash
It would be nice to find out what was going on with her body, and no matter what it was, she would have to brace herself for better or worse. That also meant that preparing herself for both the best and the worst if she turned out to be pregnant.
She was terrified of the idea of putting another being into the world, someone that she could love and hold and take care of, only to have them snatched away from her by the same virus that took everybody else that she loved in such a gruesome way. She didn’t think that she would be able to survive from that kind of tragedy. It would be like losing a piece of herself.
How would they be able to take care of another person? She almost hoped that she was just mortally ill so she wouldn’t have to worry about these terrible things. Either way, it was up to her, and now that Jax was out of the house it was the perfect opportunity for her to go out and scavenge for the material she would need.
Layne was suddenly stricken with a burst of motivation unlike anything she had felt in the past few months. She always felt more alive when she had a purpose, and lately her purpose had been to create a more sustainable home. Now that she didn’t have to worry about making Jax vulnerable to attack, as he surely would be if they went out together, she could go out and get what she needed. There was an abandoned neighborhood a few miles away. If she could look for supplies, maybe she could stop worrying and figure out exactly what she wanted to do. She knew she couldn’t handle the emotional difficulty of losing a child to the virus, and felt like it would be unfair to subject a baby to the world as it was.
But she also felt optimistic and hopeful. Maybe they would be able to have a normal family together. Two parents with immunities might mean that their child would be safe. It wasn’t a guarantee but it was possible. And they could have a normal family together, settling into the little cottage, living off their garden. Maybe everything would be all right.
She packed a bag as quickly as she could, making sure to bring extra water in one of the mason jars that they had found in the cellar. With the way she had been feeling, she thought it would be best to stay extra hydrated. She was sick, not stupid.
Layne closed and locked the door behind herself, glancing nervously back at her garden. It could do for a couple of days without tending, but any longer than that and she might as well have kissed all of her months of hard work good bye. Between the wildlife and the weather, she hardly trusted it to survive without her special touch. But that would be okay. She wouldn’t be gone long. It was only a couple of miles away. She had done less than that in just a couple of hours back before she and Jax had begun getting settled.
“I’ll be back soon,” she promised the little cabin, resisting the strange impulse she had to wave good bye to the little settlement. Everything was still though, and she told herself that it would be all right to leave, just for a little while. Either way, everything would be okay. She would just have to believe that.
***
Jax was shaken up by the time he reached the river where he had first spoken to Layne. He dropped to his knees and dug a small hole, letting the water filter through and drinking deeply from his cupped hands. He had missed the taste of the fresh water, and needed some to splash on his face after killing the two hopeless wanderers. He had done his best to help them. They had given him no choice. He had to keep believing that.
Suddenly, he got to his feet and threw up. Fuck, he thought fearfully. What if he was sick too? Did that mean that Layne wasn’t pregnant after all? Had they both become infected with something dangerous?
Or maybe he was just feeling really nauseated after killing those two kids and the stream water wasn’t agreeing with him. If they were both sick, a doctor would be even more important. The only person he knew was Tobi from Hex, who might have some knowledge about a doctor. Everybody else refused to talk to him and saw him as a traitor. Maybe Tobi could point him in the right direction.
It was as good a plan as any, and so he made his way down the familiar pathway, wondering when he would be able to get in touch with Tobi. Sometimes they expected each other, but he hadn’t seen her in months. She probably assumed that he was dead. He had been a pretty regular visitor, although it had been dangerous at the time, especially because the leader of Hex, Shark Tooth (formerly known as Jimmy Fletcher Junior), had a huge grudge against him.
Jax had been the one man in the tribe who Shark Tooth had hoped to rely on, someone he could call a brother and a friend. He had wanted to take him in as his prodigy, because Jax was one of the most brutal fighters he had ever seen. He had taught him more about street fighting and even got him in touch with a master of martial arts so that he could channel all of his talents. He had learned a lot from Shark Tooth, who had been hurt deeply when Jax finally decided that life in Hex just wasn’t for him.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t just be hurt about it – he treated it as if Jax had wronged him more than anybody ever could have, making an enemy out of him. He made sure that nobody in the tribe would welcome him back. They were all ordered to report directly to Shark Tooth if they saw Jax anywhere near the headquarters, and Jax knew that although Shark Tooth wasn’t a match for him physically, strategically he would probably be able to get him sooner or later. But that wasn’t going to stop him from checking in with Tobi.
He would just have to trust his instincts and hope that everybody thought that he was long gone by now. He was pretty sure the Jackals would have it in for him too, so he decided to stay away from their tribe. Even if they offered to help, it would be more likely that they would double cross them.
Jax was getting tired but he mostly felt emotionally and mentally drained from having to deal with the two kids. He hadn’t even bothered to search them for something useful. He would let some other desperate looters deal with that. He had everything that he needed back at home with Layne. If they were going to have a baby, then there was a lot they would need to do in the meantime to prepare. They would need to gather more food and find more materials for clothes and blankets. It would be difficult but they could manage. They would have to.
The sun was beginning to set as he finally came upon the neighborhood that marked the final stretch between the river and the Hex settlement. It would be a long ride in the morning, so he did as he usually did and found the old house where his Aunt, Uncle, and cousins had once lived. It was the closest to a safe place that he had found before he and Layne had discovered the homestead. Now they had forgotten what it really meant to be in danger.
He had never ventured very far into the house, but now that there was the possibility of a baby on the way, he decided to poke through the ghostly bedrooms. His family had suffered, and the only good thing about it was that they had been fortunate enough to have some medical relief before the virus was totally understood. Many people had died right out in the street or on the floor of their homes.
If he could find some blankets to bring home, it would be great, but he would have to be careful of mold. Jax hissed as he walked. The girl with the spear had gotten him good, and it hurt more when he walked on his foot than it did when he was pedaling the bike. There wasn’t much of use in the house anyway, and it was stirring up terrible memories. Every little noise was making him feel jumpy and displaced so far from home. If he didn’t take care of his wound, it could get infected and cause even more problems. It was his job to keep himself alive. Nobody else would do that for him.
He was glad to be inside as the sun started to set, although it gave him the creeps to hear the sound of all the empty buildings around him. He tried to distract himself, pulling a bottle of alcohol from under the couch where he had hidden it and dabbing his wound with it. The debris was blowing in the wind and the houses shifted and groaned in the night. He tried never to think about how desolate it felt. He had dealt with life alone for over two years, but he had become an expert at steeling himself from his emotions about it. If he could deal with the loneliness, he could deal with anything.
He was far too used to spending h
is nights with Layne to be comfortable sleeping in the old house alone. He could hardly wait to get back to her. He couldn’t stand worrying. He curled up on the couch, pulling out the familiar but musty blanket from the drawer in the end table beside it where he had stashed it, and covered himself up, staring off into the distance and hoping that Layne was okay.
CHAPTER FOUR
Layne looked around nervously. It had been a long time since she’d been out this far on her own, but she was pretty sure that she could remember the way. The sun was setting but she knew that she was close. The big cats would be out soon, so she would have to be careful. Many of the zoos had animals that had escaped, though most of the humans had the vicious foresight to put the animals down before they began to roam freely through the streets. Still, a few cunning species had escaped and begun to roam wild. They were somewhat rare but they were out there and everybody knew it.
Her main concern was lions, but there had been rumors of both a panther and a leopard on the move. The feral cats, distant relatives of the pampered housecats of her past, hunted at night, and if she wasn’t careful she could get some vicious, needle-like claws in her ankles. Wherever they were, she would have to use caution.
She remembered how Jax had been half-joking with her about bringing in a kitten and domesticating it. Being a scientist, Layne just shook her head. She had always believed that house pets were an atrocity against nature, and domesticating them was a selfish and all-too-human thing that she refused to do.
She had decided against bringing the rifle with her, but now she regretted it. When Jax came home, she wanted him to be able to find it where it always was. She didn’t feel very safe handling it. It was relatively new to her to have a gun and she Liked it better put away in the closet. But that could be a mistake that cost them their home. If anybody came and broke into the cabin, they would be able to defend it and take it as their own if they found the rifle. Maybe she should go back and get it.
But she was already too far gone now. The best she could do was hurry up and get what she needed and leave as soon as possible. Without the gun, she would have to find shelter soon, or she would have to keep moving all night. She couldn’t decide whether it would be better to be a sitting duck more or vulnerable prey on the move, catching the attention of lounging predators. Either way she was a target.
A wave of nausea overpowered her and she paused, taking a long drink of water. She should rest. It would do her no good to get herself into needless trouble. Jax would expect to find her home in one piece. She couldn’t let him down. She would never forgive herself if she got herself killed on such a foolish mission. But she couldn’t just sit at home and do nothing, not when there were so many preparations to make.
Layne was growing weary and inevitably found a place to make camp and built a fire, hoping it wouldn’t attract unwanted attention. It had been a while since she had to fight, and she hoped she would be able to hold her own when it came down to it. It was getting really cold, especially at night, and she shuddered underneath her blanket, hoping that whatever her journey brought would be useful in the future.
Jax was quiet and complex, but she knew that he would make a great father, especially in a world like the one they were now trapped in. In fact, he was probably looking forward to fatherhood, not dreading it the same way she was. The dark current of “what-ifs” just wouldn’t leave her mind. Someone she loved unconditionally might soon be born into a world where it was almost guaranteed that they would suffer incredibly.
But they didn’t have to, she told herself. There were options. If they were able to keep the child close by at all times, and teach it how to make something of the world around them, then there was hope. Children gave adults a reason to work toward change for the better.
What the world really lacked now was hope and possibility for a better future. Many of the brightest minds in existence had been snuffed out by the virus. Many of the people who thought they had the brightest minds had caused the greatest destruction that humanity had ever known. Worldwide destruction. An irony that the survivors would live to laugh bitterly about.
She knew there were still survivors all over the world, and many of them went about their daily lives as if nothing had changed. People in different countries who didn’t have the same modern luxuries as the Western world were probably still thriving the same way that they always had. They knew how to farm, they had agriculture and the business all figured out. Commerce was nothing, bartering and trading was normal, and it didn’t leave so many twisted, greedy people around in tribes ready and willing to pillage for whatever they thought they might need.
The Western world had left many people hardened, very selfish and very incapable of sustaining themselves for the long-term. The tribes were often on the prowl for intelligent people, and if they knew that she had been a scientist in her former life, they probably would have tried to kidnap her by now. They thought that having a person more than capable of logic was a way that they could secure a better livelihood for themselves. Somehow they might still end up ahead in the race toward civilization.
The Westerners had truly started over again in the Stone Age. All that was left were the relics of the recent past and hope that they would be able to someday create and build a civilization as secure as the one they had lost.
She fell asleep uneasily, unable to trust her surroundings enough to rest. It had been a long time since she had to sleep with one ear open. She would just have to do her best to stay on her guard and head out as soon as the sun touched her face.
***
Jax woke up with the sun and headed outside, knowing that he had to get to Hex quickly. If Layne was suffering alone, he wouldn’t forgive himself. She meant everything to him.
The familiar path began to open up to him, and he slowed himself down, opting for caution. He dismounted the bike and hid it, walking slowly, deliberating every step. He felt deeply uncomfortable, unable to count how long it had been since he’d tried to get in touch with Tobi. With any luck, she would be able to break away from the group quickly to meet him. He had a whistle that he used to summon her when they were far away sometimes, and hopefully she would know it was him and be able to meet him in their usual spot.
He climbed into the tree and whistled, something mixed between a Robin and a bluebird. He usually waited there for about 20 minutes, but this time he was worried that Tobi could have left the tribe or that she was off doing something else. If that was the case, he would have to wait there for a long time, and he didn’t feel like he had a long time to wait.
But he was resolute about avoiding other tribes, and opted instead to occupy his mind the only way he could – with memories of Layne. The last time they’d been intimate together had been soon after he returned from the north. After that she had become surly and sick, though there were times when she would surprise him.
He’d been woken up in a fit of longing, and opened his eyes to realize that Layne’s soft hands were stroking his groin. She looked gorgeous in the moonlight, her clear eyes shining as she squeezed and tugged him, eliciting helpless grunts of pleasure from deep within him. The short sounds quickly turned into a full on moan when she leaned over, curling her hot tongue over the head of his penis and engulfing him in her wet mouth.
Jax shifted on the tree branch as his body began to awaken to the memory. It would be a long time before he would try to call for Tobi again, and he glanced around, making sure nobody could see him as he gripped his hard shaft in his hands, desperate for relief. It had been so long since she had been in a mood like that, but nothing turned him on more than the silver slope of her breasts, naked as she sucked on him. His shaft pulsed as he remembered her hard nipples pressing against his thigh as she bobbed her head, licking and fondling him until he erupted without warning right in her mouth.
Jax squeezed himself hard, groaning as his abdomen tingled. His palm filled with hot liquid and he wiped it off on the cloth he used as a handkerchief after he put hims
elf away.
Suddenly, he heard a rustling sound and quickly looked down at the ground, worried that he had been spotted. His hand hovered over the knife he kept sheathed at his side, ready to attack, but then he sighed in relief. There was Tobi; her familiar bushel of curly, wild hair gleaming copper in the sunlight.
She looked up at him and a wide smile lit up her face. He smiled back at her and she climbed up into the tree with him, perching on her usual branch. They were able to relax there, completely concealed from anybody above and below.
“I seriously started thinking that you were dead or something,” she said, reaching over to slap him on the shoulder. He grinned at her and shook his head.
“Actually, I found someone and we’ve kind of settled down somewhere together.”
“You’re kidding me,” she exclaimed. “I bet that feels nice, having someone and somewhere to go all the time. If everybody had that there wouldn’t be so many stupid tribes.”
“How are things with you?” Jax asked her, grinning. It had been a while since he had had a conversation with anybody but Layne, and he hadn’t realized how much he missed his friend.
“Pretty much the same, except I broke up with Kelsey,” she said with a frown.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You guys were doing so well last I heard,” Jax said, sincerely saddened.
“Yeah well, some people just are not compatible after a long amount of time,” she said with a shrug. Jax pursed his lips and silently hoped to himself that he and Layne would be exempted from this category.