by Lexi Blake
She stood there, half in shadows, and looked like she wanted to join them but was uncertain of her welcome. Ariel gave her a half smile and looked Rebecca’s way. Rebecca was suddenly intensely interested in that wine.
“I was just grabbing a sandwich,” Solo said with a nod. “You guys have a nice afternoon.”
She’d noticed Solo didn’t seem to do much more than work, talk on the phone about work, and argue with Ezra Fain, who she called Beck. She seemed lonely. It was sad since the CIA agent was bright and fun to be around. It was obvious she didn’t feel welcome.
“We’re having lunch, too.” She’d been that girl waiting in the shadows, hoping she wouldn’t have to eat lunch alone. “You want to join us? Penny was supposed to but Ollie’s fussy and she’s worried he’s got an ear infection.”
Solo was in that seat faster than Roni could pick up the wine to offer her a glass. A bright smile lit the operative’s face. “Thanks. I’ve spent the last few days eating at my desk. They put me next to the security guard’s bathroom. There’s something wrong with one of them. I’m sure of it. Either that or Beck’s setting off stink bombs. I wouldn’t put it past him. It smells nice out here.”
Rebecca sighed. “I’ll make sure it wasn’t Owen. He’s still a touch upset he didn’t get to murder Levi.”
“Sorry,” Solo offered. “I know it doesn’t help.”
“No one died,” Ariel pointed out. “And we wouldn’t have even gotten into the room to save Rebecca and Rob and Tucker if it hadn’t been for you. You know I understand why you did what you did. So do Damon and Big Tag. We know the position you were in. You could have waited until Levi was done and then taken him. You didn’t have to risk your mission.”
“Of course I did.” Solo sat back. “I’m human and not whatever the hell Levi is. And I’m sorry about what happened to Tucker. I didn’t know what Levi was going to do. I wouldn’t have risked him if I had. But I was worried Levi would damage the data. Can we go back to talking about whether or not Roni’s going to throw down with the sweetest of the puppies?”
“I invited you over here so I could avoid that question.” It was funny how she’d lost the will to prevaricate. Since she’d made it to The Garden, she hadn’t been able to moderate herself the way she normally would. She didn’t even want to. Years of hiding had taught her the value of being honest.
Solo grinned. “You shouldn’t avoid it. I meant what I said. Tucker might seem like the runt of the litter, but he’s all kinds of awesome.”
“He is not the runt.” He wasn’t that much smaller than the men he called his brothers. “Just because he’s not three hundred pounds of muscle doesn’t make him a runt. He’s very strong and tall, and he makes me feel delicate.”
Rebecca sat back. “Ah, there it is. There’s that look of longing every single one of us had before we snagged our man. The good news is I think Tucker really wants to be snagged. You shouldn’t have too much trouble. Show him your boobs. It’s what I do to Owen. Well, when he can function properly because no one kicked him in the balls.”
Her mother was a menace. “Obviously we have a connection, but it’s complicated.”
“Because he’s a wanted criminal with no memory of his past and you got burned by another version of him and worry if he gets his memory back, he’ll be evil again?” Solo asked.
“Yes, that’s terribly complicated.” Ariel put her fork down. “Is that what you’re worried about? That Tucker will become Reasor again?”
It was always there in the back of her mind, but she questioned if that was even a problem. “I know he had a bad reputation, but I saw a side to Steven I don’t think anyone else knew. I think I might have made a mistake in not questioning Dr. McDonald. Why would he have slept with me and left me? I get why, but he showed no indication that was what he was planning. Those last few days, he seemed more tense than usual. He was upset by something.”
“Well, he’d made sure I left,” Rebecca said. “Though now I see that bit of terror actually saved me. Dr. McDonald planned to transfer me to the Argentina facility. I assume that’s when she would have offered to bring me into her unethical experiments or done something to me so I couldn’t have talked. At the time I thought it was because Steven didn’t want me taking his place.”
“But you were never in competition for the same job.” It was what she hadn’t understood about those rumors, the ones that pitted Steven and Rebecca against each other. “Dr. McDonald would never have put you over Steven anywhere but research. She needed Steven to keep everyone in line, and you wouldn’t have even been tempted to play that role.”
“I wouldn’t have. The job in Argentina was strictly research the way Dr. McDonald explained it.” Rebecca seemed to think for a moment. “She told me I would have my own lab and I would have all the funding I wanted. Not once did she imply I would be over Steven. She was giving me the key to the kingdom when it came to my own research, but I wasn’t taking over from Steven. And now that I think about it, he was there at that meeting. I guess he could have not believed Dr. McDonald.”
“Or he knew what would happen to you if you got on that plane to Argentina.” It was becoming more and more clear in Roni’s mind. At least she thought it was. Memory was a funny thing. It could be influenced by any number of forces, and certainly emotional states. But it felt right to say the words. “Did he try to convince you not to go?”
“We had a conversation about how the conditions would be and what I wanted for my career,” Rebecca said. “But I didn’t like him. I didn’t let him talk to me often. I would pretty much come up with any excuse to not talk to him. I can’t remember what happened that afternoon. I was planning on telling McDonald I wasn’t going to go.”
“I’ve read all the reports on that day,” Solo said. “I can tell you what I think happened.”
Rebecca nodded. “I’d like to hear. Owen has his own thoughts, but I worry they’re influenced by his love for Tucker.”
“When I look at those reports, take in your part of the story and what Roni’s told the group, I come to the conclusion that you likely had a conversation with McDonald where you turned her down. According to your phone records, you called your father that day and your computer records show you looked into flights home.”
“I know all of this,” Rebecca said. “My dad was sick. I think I was going to see him.”
“Then why did you buy a one-way ticket?” Solo sat back. “I have better connections than Big Tag no matter what he thinks. This particular one isn’t connected to the Agency. My family connections are wide and far reaching. I pulled your credit card records from that day. You bought a one-way ticket, not an open-ended one. You were leaving. Something happened that day that led you to buy that ticket.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I don’t remember buying a ticket until two days later, after I recovered. Damn it. That drug they gave me screwed with my short-term memory and I didn’t look into what I’d been doing earlier in the day. Steven wanted me gone. Why would he drug me?”
“What if he didn’t?” Ariel mused. “What if McDonald was the one who drugged you, but Steven took over so he could control it? He did want you gone, but what if it wasn’t for the reasons everyone assumed?”
“He told me we wouldn’t go back,” Roni said, so much falling into place. “That day in Paris, he made it sound like we might not even bother going back to Munich, but he’d bought a return ticket.”
“Because he’d already seen what McDonald did to someone who tried to leave,” Rebecca concluded. “What he did to me was horrible, but the truth is that whole time is vague, and given how McDonald could manipulate memory, I have to question everything that happened. I’ve lived with Tucker for months and I don’t see the same man. It’s like he’s wearing Reasor’s face. He’s sweet and funny, and my husband trusts him completely.”
“He was sweet and funny with me.” She remembered those moments so clearly. “Not when anyone else was around, but honestly, it always felt like he was playing
a role and I got to see the real man.”
“I’ve worked with a lot of terrible people,” Solo said, her eyes intent on Roni. “It’s the nature of my job. I have to trust my instincts or I can get into trouble. I would trust Tucker. Almost immediately. I would actually worry about him because I don’t know that he would be worried about his own safety. He would put others ahead of himself. Ariel could explain this better, but there’s a nature component to personality. You know nature versus nurture.”
“What she means is simply because you take away a person’s memories doesn’t mean he or she suddenly becomes something they’re not,” Ariel explained. “I know we joke about how they were a bit like toddlers, but they had obvious personalities and they each reacted to what they went through in different ways that tell me a lot about who they are at their cores. I think Tucker either got caught in something he wasn’t prepared for and lost his way or he was undercover.”
“But the Agency would have had records,” Roni pointed out. “Who else could he have gone undercover with?”
Solo actually choked a little at those words. “He could absolutely have been working for someone in the Agency. We’re not some happy family who gets together for reunions and catches up. We’ve got secrets on top of secrets, and we’re not always working toward the same goal. I haven’t been able to get Levi to tell me whether or not he was working with Tucker. He says he won’t say a thing unless I put them in the same room together, and he wants immunity. From everything.”
“But if Tucker was working for Levi Green, wouldn’t that mean he should get immunity, too?” She hated the idea of him being hauled away in handcuffs.
She hated the idea of not seeing him, of him not sitting across the breakfast table trying to get Violet to put the banana in her mouth instead of smashing it all over her face.
She hated the thought there wasn’t a chance for them to be a family of any kind.
“The problem is we’re working with countries that aren’t necessarily friendly to the States,” Solo explained. “Some of them are, and if we got the State Department involved, yes, we might be able to clear things up for him. But right now, in the eyes of the Agency, Tucker and Jax are ways to manipulate Big Tag and Damon.”
She felt her brow rise at that.
Solo held up her hands. “I’m being honest. I’m not saying I would do it. But you should know that I’ve talked to Ezra, well more like at him since he won’t actually talk to me. I told him I think it’s time to move Jax and Tucker.”
Rebecca sat up. “What?”
“Where will we go?” Roni had thought they would be here until they were ready to be moved to the States.
“You will head to Dallas with Big Tag as soon as Jax can get your paperwork done,” Solo explained.
“Why are you only talking about moving Jax and Tucker?” Rebecca asked. “We’re a team. I’m not staying here while they’re hiding somewhere. Owen won’t let that happen. We’re safer together.”
“I don’t think so.” Solo sat back as though she expected to be asked to leave. “I admire your loyalty, but Beck can move faster with Jax, River, and Tucker. I would suggest that they leave the dog but then I would be a terrible, horrible human being who loves neither dogs nor families. River’s words, not mine.”
“I’m not going with Tucker?” All she’d wanted when she’d gotten here was to go back to the States. Now the idea of leaving him behind was difficult to process.
“No.” Solo drained her wine glass. “Things are reaching a breaking point. I can’t tell you everything, but I’m worried that we’re all in a dangerous place. After Levi’s speech at Kronberg about how Tucker knows more than anyone can imagine, there’s been a push to bring him in. As far as anyone knows he’s still in a coma. But I suspect I set something off when I moved you here.”
“You think someone doesn’t like Veronica and Tucker being in the same place?” Ariel asked.
“Why would they care? I don’t know anything.” She should be excited at the prospect of getting on with her life. This was exactly what she’d wanted. She’d come so she could find closure with the man who’d hurt her so badly. Now all she wanted was a little more time with him. A little? She wasn’t fooling herself this time. She wanted a lot more time with him. She might want a lifetime with him.
It was way too soon to think that way, but she did know that she wanted the connection with him. Even if he wasn’t the one for her, he was Violet’s dad and he always would be.
How could this be ending? It had barely begun.
He’d only kissed her once.
“Roni, are you okay?” Ariel was looking at her with concerned eyes.
She managed to nod.
“Tucker needs a doctor with him,” Rebecca was arguing. “Honestly, so does River because she might be pregnant.”
Solo groaned and said something about how much easier it was to deal with spies than women whose biological clocks were ticking out of control.
They continued to argue but all she could think about was where she would be in the world at this time next week. And where he would be.
Was she willing to leave things the way they were? If Ariel was correct and he’d been trying to do the right thing, shouldn’t she give him another chance? She’d spent the last few years hesitant to trust anyone because she’d been so wrong about him. What if she’d been right? What if it had been her fear and insecurity that had allowed her to believe every word McDonald said?
A memory of the way he’d held her washed over her soul.
The women around her continued to fight about who was going where, but Roni sat back. She’d lost her appetite.
Chapter Seven
Roni stared out over the first floor of The Garden from her place four stories above. The lights and music floated up, an invitation to her. All she had to do was get in the elevator and she could be down there, joining the party. Was Tucker down there? This was his place, his club as he’d called it. How many times had he passed an evening in the club? How many women had he been with?
Would it be so bad to be one of them?
She’d spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out what she wanted. Tucker was leaving. She was leaving. They wouldn’t be together in a couple of days. Would it be easier to not have a night with him? Or would she always regret it?
She stared down, unable to make a decision.
Was it rude to watch? No one had told her she had to stay in her room on what they’d called a “play” night.
“You thinking about going down there?”
She gasped and turned, her mother’s voice startling her. “No.”
Her mom was dressed for bed, wearing pajama pants and a tank top and looking more relaxed than she normally did. She’d actually settled into a nice routine here and seemed happier than she’d been in a long time. She liked being around the men and women of McKay-Taggart. She’d taken to working out with Big Tag and what she called the “Fucked-Up Ones.” It was her surprisingly affectionate name for Tucker and his team. “Why not? I’ve thought about going down there. If only to see all those gorgeous men with their dicks hanging out. Do you think they hang out?”
Maybe it had been better when her mom had only been concerned about their survival. “I don’t have a place down there. There’s a whole lifestyle, and it’s not mine.”
“I think that’s the whole point of their lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be yours, but it’s open to you. I find these people surprisingly tolerable, and I think part of it is that they’ve discovered a brilliant balance between hippy-dippy, live and let live, and knowing exactly when it’s time to kick some ass. You don’t usually find that. Even your Tucker.”
When had her mom stopped referring to him as Steven? It had been days. Maybe after that first night when he’d so obviously been madly in love with their daughter. Tucker had not only taken all the shit her mom had piled on him, he’d made her laugh, speaking to her mom’s surreal and often dark sense of humor.
> “He’s not mine.”
“He’s trying to be.” Her mother leaned on the railing and looked down with a frown. “Damn Knight. He did a good job with the placement of those trees. I can’t see much. Oh, hey. The hot Russian isn’t wearing a shirt. I can objectify him. He used to be a bad guy.”
She was going to start a whole TV show. Moms Say the Darnedest Things. “He was never a bad guy.”
“He’s Russian. He was a bad guy,” her mom insisted, proving she wasn’t the most tolerant of people. Apparently, though, all one needed to be a “good guy” was to work for an American ally and look hot without his shirt on. “Is it wrong that I understand him better than the Aussie? He walks in and says stuff and all I hear is shrimp on the barbie.”
Roni groaned. “You’re the reason everyone hates Americans.”
Her mom simply grinned. “Yeah, it’s because I’m so cool.” She sobered. “Are you going to leave him?”
“I don’t have much of a choice.” She knew something her mother didn’t know. “Even if I asked to stay, he wouldn’t be here. They’re moving him in a few days. I don’t even know where. I don’t think he’ll know where until they actually get in a car or a plane.”
How hard was that life on a man who so wanted normalcy? He obviously craved family life. He wasn’t a loner. He liked to be surrounded by people who cared about him, and he gave that care back to them.
He was a good man.
He was an insanely sexy man.
Her mother seemed to think about that for a moment. “Maybe you should go with him.”
It was startling. Enough that she felt her eyes go wide. “He’s on the run. If I go with him, I could be arrested for harboring a fugitive.”
“Well, I didn’t say it would be easy,” she replied.
“I have to think about Violet.”
“I know you do,” her mom said with a sigh. “You’re a good mom. But you can’t forget to be a woman, too. I know I did. After your dad walked out, I focused on two things—my career and you girls. I don’t regret a minute of time I spent with you and Katie. God, you have to know I would do anything to have another minute with her. But I wish I hadn’t been alone when she died.”