by Laurel Veil
“Boo!” said Ava as she came up from behind and poked me in the back.
I was never so happy to see her and Riley. “Hey, guys!”
We made small talk for a minute, and then Ava’s and Riley’s dates walked up, and the four of them went dancing as well. I felt so self-conscious standing there all alone, I went to the bathroom just to have something to do.
After I thought I’d hidden out long enough in the restroom for everyone to be tired and off the dancefloor, I made my way back. But they were all still dancing, so I slipped out the back door onto the patio. I held my breath as I walked past some smokers until I reached fresh air. It was a beautiful, starry night. I wouldn’t have minded looking up at it until morning, but I finally got so cold, I had to go back in.
“There you are,” said Dani the moment I stepped inside.
“Where’s Jace?” I asked.
She motioned with a flick of her eyes to a small group of girls. He was standing in the middle of them talking and evidently, the way they were flipping their hair around and laughing, he was hilarious. “I was definitely right, to begin with. He’s not my type,” said Dani. A few days ago, this would have thrilled me. I couldn’t believe it when I realized, not only did it not faze me, but I was looking past Jace, panning the room for Nolan. I couldn’t find him anywhere and couldn’t stop wondering where he was.
A moment later, someone else asked Dani to dance, and I was alone once more. I had just started to head to the restroom again when someone came up behind me and whispered, “Where ya going?”
I was expecting to see Nolan and was stunned when I turned around and saw Jace instead.
He grinned at me like he knew something I didn’t. Dani had definitely told him.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey.”
We looked at each other for a moment too long without speaking, and things got weird fast. I started smiling, nervously.
“What?” he asked.
“Nothing.”
“You want to dance?”
At that moment, a slow song began to play, and my heart beat a little faster. “OK.” I was nervous as he took my hand and led me out to the floor. I looked down. I couldn’t believe my hand was inside of his. I had danced with lots of guys, but never with one I had a crush on. Never with Jace.
Jace and I usually had plenty to say to one another, but for the life of me, I couldn’t think of one thing to talk about, and the silence between us was awkward. “My grandma said to tell you thanks again for the firewood.” I cringed as the last word left my mouth. What a stupid thing to say. Who talks about their grandma while in the arms of a hot guy? He nodded politely, and I wanted to die. In my desperation to find something else to talk about, my eyes frantically scoured the room. I almost laughed when I saw Dani smiling, dreamy-eyed, at me. You would’ve thought she just watched Jace get down on one knee and propose to me.
A moment later, I saw Nolan. He was looking at me with a very serious expression plastered on his face. I stuck my tongue out. The smirk he made was so cute, it made me laugh.
“What is it?” asked Jace.
“Nothing. Nolan just made a weird face. That’s all.”
“Where is he?” said Jace. “We were supposed to shoot some pool.” Great, I thought. He was already trying to ditch me. When Jace spotted him, he pulled me along. “Come on.”
Nolan looked at me when we walked up. “You ready?” Jace asked him.
Nolan nodded.
“For what?” asked Dani.
“Pool,” said Nolan curtly.
“Are you playing?” she asked, looking at me. “I want to play too.”
“No, I—”
“That’s a good idea,” said Jace. “Us,” he looked at me and squeezed my hand, “against you two.” I was stunned. Did he actually like me?
“So?” said Dani. Nolan looked down at her. She leaned in. “Can I be your partner?” I felt myself getting angry. When he smiled mischievously down at her, I felt angry. What was wrong with me?
As thrilling as it was to watch Dani bend provocatively over the pool table, I couldn’t wait for the night to be over. I already had my driving permit; it wouldn’t be long until I had my license. Then I wouldn’t have to count on anyone to give me a ride. I could just leave whenever I wanted. Of course, I would need a car. Which meant I would need a job.
“You’re up,” said Jace, pulling me from my spiderweb of thoughts.
I wasn’t much of a pool player, but I found an easy shot and sunk a striped ball and then another.
“Easy now.” Nolan chuckled. “Are you out for blood?”
I was surprised he even noticed because Dani hadn’t stopped talking to him since we started playing. I missed my next shot and went and leaned against a stool. Dani didn’t even realize it was her turn. “You’re up, Dani,” I said, trying my best to hide my irritation.
“Help me,” she told Nolan with doe eyes.
I looked away so I wouldn’t have to endure watching her mating ritual, but I caught a glimpse of them in a mirror. He leaned over her to help her line up her shot, and she giggled. Pa-lease.
“Aw, man,” said Jace looking at his phone.
“What is it?” I asked, happy for the distraction.
“My mom just texted. I gotta go.”
“That’s OK.” I was trying to be understanding, but I knew that I sounded far too happy. I couldn’t help it—I was glad to be going home. “Come on, Dani. We have to go.” I was delighted to interrupt. I couldn’t wait until we were in the truck, and I was wedged in between them.
I wanted to check my face, so I told them I’d meet them in the parking lot and ran to the restroom.
I couldn’t believe it when I approached the truck, and Jace stepped out to let me in. What was I thinking? Of course, Dani was going to be squished up against Nolan this time.
Reluctantly, I slid in, and we headed toward home. Jace pulled up to Dani’s house first. “Will you walk me to the door?” she asked Nolan. I clenched my teeth.
“Sure,” said Nolan. He stepped out and held the door for her. “Back in a sec,” he said.
“Are you crazy?” said Jace and then he threw the truck in reverse.
“What are you doing?” I asked. “He wanted us to wait.”
“I’m doing him a favor. Besides, he can walk home in a matter of minutes. What do you care anyway?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. “I-I don’t.”
When he smiled at me in a way I wasn’t used to, it occurred to me that he wasn’t really trying to help Nolan be alone with Dani—he wanted to be alone with me. This is what I had always wanted, but now I didn’t.
“I’m staying at my grandma’s,” I said.
“You want to go somewhere first?”
The way he looked at me and the tone in his voice made me nervous. “I thought your mom said you had to get home.”
“I just said that so we could get outta there.”
“Well, my grandma is expecting me,” I lied. Of course, knowing Grandma, she probably did know I was coming. “I have to go there now, or she’ll have the cops out searching for me.”
I felt relief begin to wash over me when I saw my grandma’s house. Jace cut the lights and then the engine and quietly coasted to a stop on the driveway. I had my hand on the handle so that I could make a quick getaway, but he reached for my arm. “Where ya going? You can stay for a minute, can’t you?”
I turned back and looked at him. He was gorgeous. Was I insane? Nolan was probably making out with Dani, and I’d had a crush on Jace for as long as I could remember. I let go of the handle and leaned back against the seat. “I had a good time,” he said.
I smiled. “Me too.”
He reached over and touched my face. My heart was racing. He was going to kiss me. I couldn’t believe it. I was excited but mostly terrified. He slowly leaned in. I think I stopped breathing and then we both flinched when something pinged loudly against the rear window.
�
�What the—?” Jace shoved the door open and jumped from the truck. “Who’s there?” he growled.
My heart was now slamming against my chest as I got out too. The front porch light came on, and my grandma opened the door.
“It’s just me and Jace, Grandma.”
“Oh, OK.”
“I’ll be in, in just a second.”
She gave a small wave and closed the door.
“Do you really think someone threw something?” I asked.
“I don’t know what else it could’ve been.” He inspected the window more closely. “Looks like it’s alright. I’m surprised it didn’t crack or at least chip.”
I looked back at my grandma’s house. “Well, I better go.”
Jace reached for my elbow and pulled me back. It wasn’t playful; he looked irritated. “Why do you keep trying to run off? I’m starting to think Dani doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
So, she did tell him. “What exactly did she say?” I couldn’t hide the fact that I was nervous.
“Relax. She said you liked me. That’s it.”
Before I knew what was happening, he pushed his mouth to mine. It wasn’t at all like I had expected it to be. The porch light flickered, and he quickly pulled away. “I have to go,” I said. I was halfway to the door before he could even say bye.
I closed the door and locked it as quickly as I could, then rested against it.
“Noelle?”
For the second time that night, I startled.
“Why are you so jumpy?” asked Grandma when she stepped into the entry hall.
I exhaled. “I’m just tired. And I’m glad to be home—here.” Grandma smiled. “Thanks for flashing the porch light off and on. I needed an excuse to come in.”
Her forehead crinkled. “I didn’t.” She whispered conspiratorially, “It must’ve been Grandpa.”
I felt goosebumps spring up on my arms.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to wonder why Jace was out there?”
“It’s kind of a long story.”
“I got all the time in the world. You hungry?”
I nodded and followed her into the kitchen where she handed me a box of cinnamon rolls. I warmed a couple in the microwave while she poured two glasses of chocolate milk.
I told her everything that’d happened that night. “And, I thought I’d be thrilled if Jace liked me, but . . . I wasn’t.”
“Why do you think that is?”
I thought about my answer for a while. It was hard to find the words because I wasn’t even exactly sure why. “Well . . . I guess some of it has to do with the fact that he liked Dani first.”
“I see,” she said before taking another bite of her cinnamon roll.
“Yeah. I mean. He seemed to really like her. She’s the one who didn’t like him.”
“So, you think he’s only with you—”
“Because he can’t be with her. Yes, that’s it.” Grandma nodded. It felt good to be understood. “And there’s something else.”
“What’s that?”
“He kissed me.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. And it wasn’t at all what I thought it was going to be like.” Grandma sat there quietly as my brain replayed what had happened between Jace and me. Finally, I was able to put my finger on what had bothered me so much. “Dani told Jace I liked him. It was like he expected to be able to kiss me. Something was off. It didn’t feel right. I couldn’t get away fast enough.”
“You know what I think?”
“That I’m a flake who doesn’t know what she wants?”
She chuckled. “I think you are very wise.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Keep listening to that voice that tells you if something isn’t right. It will keep you safe.”
“I always try to follow my instincts.”
“Instincts? Oh, honey, it’s more than that. It’s not your gut either; it’s The Holy Spirit.”
Any time Grandma talked about The Holy Spirit it was like she transformed. Her eyes would get this faraway look in them, and her voice would get dreamy as if she was remembering something from a very long time ago.
“So, is everything OK between you and Dani now?”
I nodded and then exhaled deeply.
“What?”
“Nothing. It’s just, I think she has a thing for Nolan now.”
“That’s good.” I must’ve made a face. “It’s not good?”
“No—I mean, I don’t know. Why did you say it’s good, Grandma?”
“No particular reason. He’s a very nice boy—a girl would be lucky to have him as her boyfriend. And now he won’t bother you anymore, right?”
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“It doesn’t bother you that she likes him, does it?”
“Why would it bother me?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
I could tell she was holding back. “Just say it, Grandma.”
“Does . . . he like her?”
“No,” I snapped. Grandma was a great listener. And her questions helped me sort my thoughts. Sometimes, I would have so much bottled up inside, I couldn’t speak in a way that made sense. Everything would just shoot out of me all at once the way a soft drink spews out of a can when it's been shaken. She was wise and gave great advice. But sometimes—she was way off. “I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to bed now.”
“You go on.” She looked down at our dirty dishes. “I got this. Good night.”
“Good night,” I mumbled.
5.
When I woke, I felt tired. I didn’t sleep well because I had dreamed all night about Nolan and Dani. I’d watched them like an obsessed stalker. Grandma was right. I should’ve been relieved that he wouldn’t be bothering me anymore. But I wasn’t. What was wrong with me? Nolan could like whoever he wanted. It was just weird, he’d liked me for so long. I thought he was going to like me forever.
I could smell coffee, so I headed to the kitchen. I found my grandma sitting at the table. She looked exhausted. “You didn’t sit here all night, did you?” I asked as I poured myself a glass of juice.
She chuckled. “No.”
“What’s wrong? Don’t you feel well?”
“I saw a ball of fire just before I went to bed.”
“Oh.” There had to be something else bothering her. She was more disturbed than usual. She was too quiet—she wasn’t even drinking her coffee. “What is it, Grandma? You look . . . scared.”
“I’m just tired.” She perked up a little and took a sip.
“Grandma?” I pressed. “We tell each other everything,” I reminded her.
She was thoughtful for a moment. “I am scared. It was a different color this time—the ball of fire.”
I swallowed. “What does that mean?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know.”
What was happening? My grandma always had all the answers. And I couldn’t remember a time she’d ever told me she was afraid. I wanted to be brave for her, but suddenly I felt very small.
“So, what do you have planned for today? You going to see your friends?”
“Don’t change the subject, Grandma.”
“Actually, I wasn’t. I-I was hoping that if you did have plans, you’d break them.”
Poor Grandma. She was more shaken than I’d realized. “I don’t mind hanging out with you today. It’ll be fun.” I took a sip of juice. “And don’t worry, you’re going to be fine.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about.”
A knock at the door made us jump. Grandma furrowed her brows, which meant she had no idea who it could be.
I followed close behind so I could see who it was. My heart pumped harder when I saw the uniformed man standing on the porch.
“Can I help you?” she asked the police officer.
“I’m Officer Sebastian Harvey.” He handed my grandma his card. “We’re asking everyone in the neighborhood if they’ve
seen . . .” His voice was suddenly replaced with a ringing in my ears as I reached for the photograph he was extending. It was a picture of Dani.
I could feel my grandma’s arm wrap around me. She squeezed me gently. “Go on. Tell him what you know, honey.”