by Kate Moseman
At the top of the arc of his flight, he hung in the air, orienting himself before plunging from the sky at a startling speed toward where he suspected he would find Phoenix.
Andy pounded on the door, ignoring the “Trespassers Will Be Cursed” sign.
A dog barked, then a female voice echoed from within the house. “Hold your horses.”
The door opened. Raya leaned against the doorframe, attempting to restrain a large black dog who was trying its best to leap on Andy. “What are you doing here?”
“May I come in?” It paid to be polite to the witch who had enough raw power to send him hurtling back to the Waiting Room.
“Knock yourself out,” she said, hauling the dog backwards to allow Andy to pass. “Don’t mind Blaze. She’s just a big old softie.”
Andy eyed the dog, then entered to find Phoenix sprawled on Raya’s couch. “Thought I’d find you here.”
“You’re just in time,” said Phoenix. “We were going to play a board game.”
Raya released Blaze, who bounded happily to Phoenix and laid her large head on his chest.
Andy’s eyebrows shot up. “I thought you could barely be in the same room without arguing with or insulting each other.”
“There will be plenty of insults, trust me. Isn’t that right, you unscrupulous witch?”
“I’ll crush you, spawn of Satan.” She opened the Monopoly box and unfolded the board.
Andy looked from the witch to the demon and back again.
He didn’t have time for whatever this was.
“Phoenix, get up. We’re leaving.”
“What, now?”
“Yes, now.”
“I don’t want to.” Phoenix pushed out his lower lip and pouted. “I want to play Monopoly.”
“Phoenix … ” Andy let the undertone of his voice slide into a range inaudible to humans.
Blaze jumped up and barked.
Phoenix rolled his eyes dramatically. “Don’t threaten me, mate. I outrank you.”
“Are you threatening him?” said Raya. A hard glint came into her eyes.
“No! I need his help. That’s all.”
Raya, somewhat mollified, returned to setting up the board game.
Phoenix sighed heavily and stood up. “I must postpone your thrashing for a later time,” he said to Raya. “Will this take long, Andromalius?”
Andy shook his head.
“Fine. Let’s go. I’ll see you later, witch.”
“Later, demon. Bye, Andy.”
The two demons left by the front door.
Phoenix’s red wings unfolded. He shot into the sky first, followed closely by Andy.
“What was that all about?” said Andy.
“What?”
“Don’t play innocent demon with me. You’re no good at it,” said Andy as they flew side by side through the moonless night. “You gave me all that song and dance about not getting mixed up with mortals, and here you are cozying up for board game night with Raya?”
“It’s just a lark,” said Phoenix, rotating onto his back to stare up into the endless sky.
Andy snorted.
“I’m allowed to be hypocritical and inconsistent. I’m a demon,” said Phoenix.
“No kidding.”
“What do you want with me, anyway? Dragging me away from hearth and home in the dead of night—”
“Hearth and home? You’re not inconsistent—you’re insane! Since when did you call anywhere home?”
“It’s just an expression,” said Phoenix.
Andy felt more confused than ever. He tried to shake it off, literally shaking his wings in flight as if to shed loose feathers. “Let’s pay a visit to Erin’s ex.”
“Will that make you less grumpy?”
“Maybe,” said Andy, his face settling into grim lines.
“Did you discuss this with her, by any chance?”
“No.”
“Brilliant,” said Phoenix, meaning the exact opposite. “Of course, she doesn’t want revenge any more.” He pulled up short and froze in mid-air as the realization hit him. “But you do.”
Andy, who had overshot Phoenix, spun around and covered the distance back to his fellow demon. “What does it matter? We’re wasting time.”
Phoenix’s wings beat slowly. “We have all the time in the world. Why are you rushing into this?”
“Are you going to help me, or not?” Andy gained altitude and prepared to dive.
“When have I ever said no to revenge?”
Andy plunged from the sky, his outline tinged with fire, and Phoenix followed in his wake.
30
They settled unseen and unheard on the roof of Mark’s house.
Andy sensed the sleeping mortals without having to see them.
“How do you want to do this?” said Phoenix.
“Remember that time in Paris?”
Phoenix smiled fondly. “How could I forget?”
“Like that.”
“Can I do that thing from Madrid, too?”
“Go for it,” said Andy.
“I’ll see you on the inside,” said Phoenix, closing his eyes.
Andy closed his eyes and concentrated on the dreamers, his consciousness seeking out Mark like a homing missile. Awareness of the warm night faded away as he dropped into the mind of another being.
It was so rare that he had the opportunity to manifest himself creatively that he hardly knew where to start. He deepened his outline of fire until it blazed. He allowed two curving horns to protrude from his forehead. His teeth sharpened to points as his wings transformed from their neat salt-and-pepper coloration to a light-sucking shade of black.
Phoenix, on the other hand, dialed up the deep red velvet color of his wings to a lurid shade of crimson, and outlined himself in flickering black shadows. The irises and the white of his eyes were subsumed by darkness.
“No horns?” said Andy.
“Must I?”
“They expect it.”
Phoenix sighed. “Fine.” Spiraling ram’s horns grew from his head. “I look bloody stupid.”
Andy observed the effect. “Nonsense. You look terrifying.”
“Great. Are we going with formal regalia, or more of a rag-and-bone look?”
Andy considered. “Formal’s too good for this clown.”
“So I get to look stupid and ugly. You’re going to owe me for this, Andy.”
“Just do it.”
Arrayed in their best—or worst, depending on your point of view—outfits of soiled sackcloth, they faced the void of Mark’s dreams.
“Where is he, anyway?” said Phoenix.
“In between dreams.”
“Well, get him here and let’s get this over with.”
Andy concentrated, reached out, and pulled.
Mark appeared before them, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts and looking very confused.
It was time to raise the stakes.
“Mark.” Andy’s voice boomed like an avalanche of gravel.
“Mark,” Phoenix echoed, his voice hissing like a pit of snakes.
Mark stumbled backwards in terror, then turned and ran.
The two demons grinned at each other and gave chase. It was too easy, given that Mark was confined to the logic of his own dream. They blocked his wild retreat and circled him, keeping him off-balance and trapped.
“What do you want?”
“We want you, Mark,” said Andy, leaning into his role with as much menace as he could manage.
“We want your soul,” said Phoenix, who appeared to be enjoying himself despite his earlier complaints.
“My soul?” Mark’s voice cracked.
Andy loomed over Mark, who dropped to his knees and covered his face. “Your foul soul is t
arnished with a thousand terrible sins, Mark. You cheated on your wife—”
“With her best friend,” Phoenix added.
“With her best friend. And you thought you could get away with it?” Andy showed his pointed teeth, then let loose a roar that shook Mark like a sonic wave.
Phoenix leaned forward and hissed in Mark’s ear. “Satan owns you now.”
Mark began to cry. “I’m sorry!”
“You’re not sorry enough,” said Andy.
“I’ll do anything!”
Andy and Phoenix exchanged looks.
Phoenix gave Andy a cheeky thumbs-up out of Mark’s view.
Andy allowed himself a tiny smile. “You will pay her alimony on time. Every month.”
Mark cowered silently.
“You will also give her enough extra money to remodel her kitchen.”
Mark looked up. “Her kitchen?”
“DID I STUTTER?” roared Andy.
“No! Yes! Okay! Kitchen remodel, you got it!”
“You will never, ever cheat on a relationship partner again.”
Mark nodded vigorously.
Andy glowered at the mortal at his feet. “If you do … ”
“We will come for you!” Phoenix laughed maniacally.
Andy took hold of Mark’s jaw. “And next time, it won’t be so pleasant.” He released his hold with a final push that knocked Mark sideways into an undignified sprawl.
Andy met Phoenix’s gaze and gave a subtle nod.
The transformed demons faded from the dream and returned to their rooftop perch.
“I have to admit—that was pretty fun,” said Phoenix. “Mind you, the costuming could have used some work.”
“Picky,” said Andy, smoothing his red suit self-consciously.
“You think he’ll straighten up?”
Andy shrugged. “Who knows. At least Erin will get what she deserves.”
“But will she get what she wants?”
Andy shot Phoenix a look. “What she wants is to move on and have a normal life.”
“Normal’s just an entry in the dictionary, mate.”
Andy looked up at the night sky. “What do you believe, Phoenix?”
“Believe? I don’t know. I believe you’re giving me a headache.”
“Demons don’t get headaches,” said Andy.
“I’m about to be the first.”
“Do you remember before there were humans?” Andy paused. “I don’t.”
“So?”
“So what are we, really? Are we supernatural beings? Or are we what they imagine us to be?”
Phoenix turned an expression of skepticism on Andy. “They?”
“Humans. Mortals. Will we stop existing when they stop believing in us?”
Phoenix groaned. “You’re bringing me down, Andy.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll stop.”
“See that you do. And, anyway, if you think you’re going to cease existing some time soon, perhaps you could knock off acting like a prat and try a little carpe diem, as the Romans used to say.” Phoenix made a motion like plucking a piece of fruit from the air. “Besides, don’t you have a wedding to go to?”
Andy got to his feet, balanced effortlessly on Mark’s roof, and stretched his wings until the tips brushed the branches of the nearest tree. “You’re absolutely right,” he said.
PART III
ERIN & ANDROMALIUS
31
Erin woke to the scent of coffee and toast. She rolled over and sat up, letting her feet dangle over the edge of the bed. She checked to make sure Nancy Drew wasn’t underfoot before easing her feet down to the floor.
The sound of Andy whistling in the kitchen carried through the closed bedroom door, along with the clinking sounds of cooking and table-setting.
She threw a robe over her pajamas and joined him in the kitchen.
“Good morning,” said Andy. “Big day today.” He carefully slid an omelet out of a hot pan onto a plate, then set the pan back on the burner.
“I feel a little weird about it.” Erin slid into a chair at the kitchen table.
“That’s because you need a good breakfast.” Andy filled a mug with coffee and added cream and sugar. He placed the mug and the plate before her and turned back to the stove.
“Thanks.” Erin lifted the mug and took a sip. It was exactly as she liked it. “I think I’m going to miss this.”
“Miss what?” His back was to her as he whisked eggs in a bowl.
“This. Coffee. Company.” She took a bite of the omelet. It was delicious, as usual. “I’ll miss it.”
He poured the beaten eggs into the pan. “I will, too.”
“Where will you go?”
“Go?” He seemed to be slightly at a loss.
“What do demons do with their time off? Other than take massage lessons.”
He stirred the eggs. “What would you do?”
“Me?” Erin considered. “I don’t know. Travel? See the world? I’ve always wanted to go to Paris.”
“That would be time well spent,” said Andy. He folded the omelet and slid it onto a plate, then turned off the stove. He carried the plate to the table and sat across from Erin.
“But it would be more fun with a friend,” she added.
He paused, fork in hand, and met her gaze. “Would it?”
She looked down and pushed the eggs around her plate. “I think it would.”
Nancy Drew wandered into the kitchen.
Andy stood up and filled Nancy’s food bowl, adding a small spoonful of plain cooked eggs to the dry food. “I forgot to tell you—I paid a little visit to your ex-husband last night.” He sat down again.
Erin swallowed wrong and coughed. “Oh, my God. What did you do to him?”
“Nothing too harmful. I just put the fear of Andy into him. And the fear of Phoenix.”
Erin laughed, which turned into more coughing. “I wish I’d been there.”
“Let’s just say your alimony payments will be very timely and the kitchen will get the remodeling of your dreams.”
“Oh, Andy. I don’t know how to thank you.” She placed her hand over his and felt its radiant warmth. “You’ve done so much.”
“Any demon would have done the same.”
“I don’t think that’s true at all.” Erin released his hand, stood up, and carried her empty plate to the sink. “Thank you for breakfast. And everything else.” When she turned from the sink, she realized he’d been watching her intently.
“No—thank you,” he said, with uncharacteristic gravity.
She retreated to the bedroom to shower, hoping the hot water would wash away the feelings that rippled through her like stones thrown in a pond. How was it possible to feel like you’d known someone forever, when your time together had passed in the blink of an eye?
Wrapped in a towel, Erin pushed aside the clothes in her closet to reach the new dress. She held it at arm’s length, admiring the delicate blush color and subtle ombre shading, before laying it out carefully on the bed.
She applied her makeup and dried her hair. Then she slipped into the dress, fluffing its skirt and tugging the bodice into place. She reached for the zipper, but only managed to tug it halfway to the top despite contorting herself into a range of uncomfortable positions.
There was only one thing to do.
“Andy?” she called.
His voice came through the closed door slightly muffled. “Yes?”
“Can you help me?”
The door opened.
Andy entered, resplendent in a tan summer suit, holding a small white box in his hands.
“Can you … ?” She gestured to the back of the dress.
He blinked and set the box down on the bed. “Of course!”
She fel
t his hands at her back, his fingers guiding the zipper upwards to close securely. She closed her eyes and tucked the memory of the sensation away, to remember after he was gone. “Thanks.”
He opened his mouth as if to speak.
She thought he might thank her again.
Instead, he handed the box to her. “Here. I got this for you.”
Erin opened the box. Inside, she found a corsage of fresh pink roses accented with a single salt-and-pepper-colored feather.
“Do you like it?” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
Erin lifted the corsage and inhaled the scent. “Of course I like it. Where did you get this?”
“I stopped by the rose garden at Destiny Park early this morning. They’ll never miss a few roses here and there.”
“A normal person might have stopped by the florist.”
“I’m not normal. Or a person, technically.” A bashful smile touched his lips.
She cradled the corsage in one hand and ran a finger over the feather. “No, you’re not. But I think that’s what I like about you.”
At the ceremony, Andy could hardly sit still. Between shooting judgmental looks at Mark and Genevieve, and subtly checking on Erin out of the corner of his eye, he was a very distracted demon. Was she happy to be moving on? Unhappy to be reminded of past suffering? Andy considered removing Mark’s pants one more time, just for good measure.
Honestly, the way Mark was sweating, it seemed like he was doing a fine job torturing himself. Genevieve looked a bit nauseous, too, although whether that could be chalked up to her pregnancy or proximity to someone like Mark was anyone’s guess.
“All get what they want,” Andy quoted under his breath. “They do not always like it.”
Joyce, who was seated on the other side of Erin, leaned over. “Did you say something?” she whispered.
He shook his head and tried to convert his demonic smile into something more angelic.
When the pastor announced, “You may now kiss the bride,” Andy snuck another look at Erin.
Her face appeared serene. Only around her eyes could he detect a hint of sadness. But what was she sad about? Mark’s remarriage? Or could it be—something else?