I look down at her, unblinking. “I’ll always be your lifeline. You’ll always be able to reach me because you have my heart. No matter what you’re going through, I’ll be at your side, helping you hold on.”
Tears fill her eyes. “You can’t love me like you loved her.”
“You’re right. The way I love you is different than the way I loved her. I’ve fallen in love with you in different ways, for different reasons, than I did with Lucy. I’ve fallen in love with finding love, learning your tics, how to make you smile, hearing your fears, and getting to know the deepest parts of your soul. I loved Lucy. I’ll never stop loving the memory of her, but I can love you right along with it.”
I grew up with Lucy. I loved her for as long as I can remember, but I don’t remember falling in love with her because I knew everything about her. This is something new to me. A different love but still love. You don’t love the same every time.
I squeeze Willow’s hips and hope my next question isn’t pushing the limit. “You ready to admit you love me yet?”
She shakes her head.
“Then, why are you crying?”
“Hormones,” she croaks out. “Fucking hormones.”
“You can blame it on that for now.” My mouth finds hers, giving her a long kiss, before pulling away and pecking the tip of her nose. “But I’ll be asking again later.”
“What are you doing?” she asks when I move across the room and pick up a box.
“Helping you pack your shit. You can keep the apartment for as long as you want, but I’m going to take as much time with you under my roof as I can get.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Willow
Dallas and Hudson are moving the few boxes I packed for my trial run at Dallas’s.
I’m doing this.
Really doing this.
I stop on the porch before walking through the front door. I jumped down these stairs, barefoot, with tears running down my face. I stare at the door, remembering my last look of Dallas that day. Let’s hope history doesn’t repeat itself.
I haven’t been back in the house since Maven was sick. Maybe I should’ve taken a tour, made sure I was emotionally stable to handle more than three hours here.
I’m going to walk in there, be strong, and do what’s right for my heart.
For my baby. For us.
The excitement of spending more time with him and Maven is what keeps me walking. I love spending time with them. I’d go to bed, wishing Dallas were there to hold me, to kiss me, to share the moment when the baby kicked.
Dallas is still a man who struggles, but that only makes me fall more in love with him. Lucy’s note sparked something inside me, an insight I never thought about when I shut myself down after considering a future with him. Dallas might be a little broken, but he knows what love is. He sacrifices for love, for his family—something Brett never did with me.
I’d rather have a broken man who knows how to love than a man with no scars who’s never loved anyone but himself.
Dallas squeezes my elbow when I walk through the front door. “If you’re not cool with this, let me know, okay? I’ll call a realtor, and we can look for another property.”
I stare at him, unblinking. “Are you talking about buying a new house?”
He practically built this house with his own two hands. He loves this home.
“If that’s what makes you comfortable.” He slides in closer and gently pushes a fallen strand of hair from my ponytail out of my eyes. His hands then rest on my hips. “This is your home now, do you hear me? Our home. I want you to be able to relax, to be able to touch me, to feel okay with having sex with me here.” He chuckles. “Because we know that’s going to be happening a lot as soon as our little one is born.”
I smile. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed that.” Especially with him. It’s hard to go from having sex with fuck boys to Dallas and then being told you’re on bed rest and that you need to refrain from sex. It’s like tasting an expensive cupcake for the first time after years of eating cheap candy, and then it gets taken away from you.
His hand moves down to brush between my legs. “I might not be able to fuck you yet, but I promise I’ll do something for you tonight.”
I rest my hand on his chest. “I have something to look forward to.”
“You most certainly do.”
“All right, kids, take it to the bedroom,” Hudson says, walking in. “And, speaking of bedroom, is that where you want me to put this stuff?”
I take my time while Dallas waits for an answer. “Yeah,” I stutter out. “Sure.”
I follow them down the hallway and into the bedroom, not sure if I’m truly ready for this. I take in a heavy breath and wait for the blow of bad memories and heartache to hit me, but nothing does when I walk in.
The furniture and bedding is new. I try not to make it too obvious that I’m searching for the signs of Lucy I saw last time I was in here, but they are now missing. The perfume bottle, the pictures, the clothes—it’s all gone.
Hudson sets the box down on the floor and leaves the room.
“You got rid of her stuff?” I ask Dallas, guilt seeping through me. Forcing his hand to do this wasn’t what I wanted. “I swear, my intentions weren’t for you to erase her.”
“I didn’t erase her.”
He holds his hand to his heart while mine pounds. He’s no longer wearing his wedding ring. Hasn’t been for a few weeks, but I haven’t questioned him about it. I wasn’t sure if he did it to make me happy, or because he wanted to for himself.
Now I know it’s because he wanted to.
“No matter what, Lucy will always have a spot in my heart,” he goes on.
I nod. I don’t want him to lose that either.
“It was time I did it. I can’t keep living in the past, especially when it was destroying my happy future. It was hell, don’t get me wrong, pushing myself to do something I should’ve done months ago. I waited until I was ready, so thank you for giving me time to do that. I went through everything with Maven. She chose the stuff she wanted to keep, and then Lucy’s family came over for their own keepsakes.”
I sit down on the bed and trace my fingers over the new white bedspread. “Just don’t kick me out of this bed, okay?”
He smirks. “Sweetheart, the only reason I’d kick you out of this bed is to fuck you on the floor.”
I stand up to wrap my arms around his neck. He did all of this for me. Opened his heart back up for me. He wants to make a home with me and have a family together because he loves me.
I love him.
I’m tired of running from it. Tired of fighting. I have to be strong and honest for our baby, for ourselves, for the six-year-old girl who made me a Welcome Home sign, which is displayed on the front door.
“I love you,” I whisper into his mouth.
“There it is.” He grins. “And I love you.”
Chapter Forty-Three
Dallas
Four Months LATER
The ear-blasting cry is music to my ears.
A sound I was afraid I wouldn’t hear. I put the sadness that there should be two in the back of my mind. I won’t let that loss interfere with the bliss of this moment.
No surprise to me, Willow was a fucking trooper. She spent ten hours in labor and didn’t complain once. All that was on her mind was the excitement of meeting our baby mixed with worry that it might not happen. I stayed by her side the entire time, not moving once, because I didn’t want to miss a thing. She needed to know I was with her on this all the way.
Our life has turned into a whirlwind of changes. Willow has moved in, but nothing has changed in the Barnes’ household. It feels like she’s been there forever. I was anxious at the beginning, given our history there, but losing our baby has taught us to cherish every moment.
Fuck the petty shit.
Fuck running.
Fuck being afraid.
His wails calm when Aidan hands him, wrapped
in his blanket, to Willow. My breathing halts when she situates him in her arms, already comfortable with how he likes to be cradled, and she plays with his tiny hand while whispering to him.
I stare at them with compassion. With happiness. With love.
As much as I want to have my turn, I wait until she’s ready. She deserves this.
My heart thrashes against my chest when she stares up at me with wet eyes. She moves her arm, shifting toward me, and I waste no time in scooping him up. He’s perfect—from his full head of dark hair to his button nose—and he’s squirming like a fish out of water.
I’m ready to take him home. To show him the nursery we’ve been working on for months. To give him love every day.
Aidan heard a heartbeat during every ultrasound, but the thought of losing our baby still hung over our heads daily.
The chance of another miscarriage was high. There could have been problems at birth.
Those burdens have fallen off me. That worry is gone. He’s here, healthy, and staring up at me with sleepy, dark eyes that resemble Maven’s.
He owns my heart already.
It’s been a rough journey, but like our road trips, we’ve seemed to make them enjoyable, memorable, crazy. Our turns and detours made us stronger, made us love deeper, made us appreciate each day.
We name him Samuel.
After my grandfather.
Willow and Maven love his name just as much as I do.
Samuel Logan Barnes.
Eight pounds and four ounces of fucking adorableness.
My son. My new sidekick. More happiness brought into a life I thought was over.
I didn’t know what I was going to get when we walked into the hospital this morning. My heart surged with fear with every step I took. Bad news had been a constant for me here. I’d experienced so many losses within these walls.
That ended today.
This place will no longer be a reminder of loss.
I lost people I loved here.
And I’ve gained someone I love just as much.
Chapter Forty-Four
Willow
I am a mother.
I whisper those words to myself again. I am a mother.
This job, this role, means more to me than any I’ve ever had.
I tried to stay positive before Samuel was born, but it was hard because the doctor telling me there was a chance I’d never be able to hold him was a constant worry.
“Jesus, someone had better give me some Tylenol to cure this baby fever,” Stella says while rocking Samuel back and forth, cooing.
Our friends and family have piled into the room, all of their attention on Samuel.
Samuel. I’ve only known him a few hours, but he already has my heart gripped in his tiny fingers.
My mom flew in a few days ago and has been staying in my apartment along with Scooby. She’s fallen in love with Dallas and Maven, and we’re already in talks of her moving here. I’ve caught the Blue Beech initiation bug.
Samuel has taken his first selfie and had his first diaper changed by me, and people rock-paper-scissored over who got to hold him first.
Hudson throws his hands up. “I’m all for making a baby. Tell me when and where, babe.” He slaps Dallas on the back. “Congrats, big brother. You might be one ugly dude, but you make some cute kids.”
Dallas laughs and punches him in the arm.
That gorgeous smile hasn’t left his face since I handed him Samuel for the first time. Stella gives Samuel back to him as the baby-holding circle starts again from the top.
Dallas cradles him and rocks from side to side. “That’s my boy.”
Maven tugs at his shirt. “And my little brother!” she announces. “I’m a big sister now!”
We’ve had to nearly pry Samuel from her arms every time she’s held him. She made a list of requests, and the top one was him sleeping in her bed. There’s some explaining to do when we get home. Samuel can’t be thrown into strollers and tossed on the floor after changing his diapers, like she does with her toy babies.
I’m exhausted by the time the room clears out, and Dallas is sitting on the edge of my bed. He gently climbs in next to me and laces our fingers together.
I close my eyes and sigh when his lips hit mine.
“We did it,” he says. “We made a healthy baby.”
I lean up for another kiss, making it last longer, and hold my hand against his cheek. “We did it.” I stretch my legs out and drum my fingers along his skin. “A year ago, this is so not where I thought I’d be.”
He chuckles. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s a hell of a lot better than where I imagined I’d be.” He situates himself to look at me better. “You saved me, Willow. You saved my daughter. And not only did you save us, but you also gave us Samuel as a bonus. I’ve been lifted from fires I never thought I’d escape because of you.” He disconnects our hands to circle his around my wrist. “And, someday, you’re going to let me put a ring on this finger.” His lips graze my ring finger.
“Oh, man, did we go backward on that one,” I tease. “First does not always come marriage.”
“We do our own thing at our own pace.”
“That we do.”
Epilogue
Willow
Two Months later
I stretch out in the sheets and yawn when Dallas comes walking back into the bedroom with Samuel in his arms. I watch the silhouette of him with the help of the sunrise creeping into the morning sky. He’s shirtless, wearing only a pair of loose gym shorts, and I lick my lips when he climbs back into bed.
“Dirty diaper,” he explains with a grin. He pokes Samuel’s belly. “You know our little man can’t handle a dirty diaper.”
Dallas is the only man … hell, the only person I know who enjoys changing diapers.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
We agreed to take turns in getting up with him at night, but that hasn’t happened. Dallas is a lighter sleeper and never wakes me up when it’s my turn. He does whatever Samuel needs and comes back to bed without uttering one complaint.
Moving in with him was the right decision. My initial worry that it’d hurt our relationship is gone. It’s only fueled more attraction and love between us.
Our bond is tighter, our love stronger.
“Daddy?”
Maven’s voice catches me off guard. She’s standing in the doorway with her blankie. Dallas or Samuel must’ve woken her up. She rubs her eyes and sluggishly stomps into the room. I scoot over and pat the space between Dallas and me, and she climbs right in. I smile when her head rests on my shoulder, and she snuggles into my body.
The cartoons come on.
We eat breakfast in bed.
This is my family.
One night changed my life.
One night gave me life.
THE END.
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Want Hudson and Stella’s Story?
Keep reading for the first four chapters of Just Her Bodyguard.
Chapter 1
Hudson
“Save it. That shit is your gig, not mine.” I’m staring at my older brother wondering when he lost his damn mind.
“You’ll be doing me a huge favor,” Dallas pleads.
“You want me to wash your panties? Sure. You need me to get rid of your old-school nudie mags so Lucy doesn’t find out you were a little perv back in the day? I got you. Those are favors. What you’re asking me is more than that, and you fucking know it.”
“Come on. You’re overreacting.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t withstand two tours overseas to come home and play bitch to some spoiled Hollywood princess.” I busted my ass in Marine training. I’ve slept in the shittiest conditions you could think of and witnessed shit I’d give my left nut to un-see. There’s no way following around some fancy-ass, high-maintenance chick is going to be my next job. My voice hardens. “Hell, I’ve only been home three hours after a nine-month deployment and this is
the first conversation we have? You offering me some bullshit job you know I’d never take?”
“You’ll be her bodyguard, not her bitch.”
“Either way, I respectively decline.”
“She’s not as bad as you think.”
I snort.
“Do it for me. Please. You know I’m going through hell right now. It’ll give me one less problem to worry about.”
I hold up my hand to interrupt him. “Nu-uh, don’t you dare try to pull that shit.”
“What shit?”
“The empathy hook you’re trying to sink into me that’ll make me look like a heartless bastard if I don’t let you reel me in.” I have sympathy for him. I’d trade places with him and take over the pain he’s been stabbed with in a goddamn heartbeat if I could.
“Is it working?” He chuckles at my irritation. “Look, I’ve been her security guard for the past five years. She wasn’t only a damn good employer but also a friend who didn’t have to help with Lucy’s medical bills or give me paid leave to be with my family. I want to give back and make sure she’s protected, and last I heard was that they hadn’t found anyone qualified enough to take my place. That’s why I suggested you.”
“How about you un-suggest me?”
He drags his hand through his shaggy brown hair. “What’s your plan then, huh? The pay is better than anything you’ll find here in Blue Beech. Make some fast cash, come home, and put a down payment on a house. You can quit as soon as they hire someone else. You have my word.”
I sit there, silently thinking, and he stretches forward to punch me in the arm. It barely feels like a bee-sting.
“You know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to me,” he continues.
I lean back in the chair at his kitchen table and focus on him. Dark circles are riding underneath his sunken eyes. Stress lines that didn’t exist when I left months ago stretch along his mouth. He’s hurting, hovering near the edge of giving up. He’d once been the life of the party, but now all that’s left of him is the fear of losing the woman he loves too early. As a brother, I have to pull my shit together, put my pride and apprehension aside, and do this.
Just One Night Page 23