After Jimmy arrived to stay with Jacob, Ryan left for the airport to catch his plane. Thankful for the short flight, he grabbed a cab from the airport straight to the hospital. He sent her a text when he got there, asking her to come outside. Plus, he figured she could probably use a cigarette. Knowing his Maiya, she hadn’t stepped out of the room since she she’d stepped into it.
Taking a seat on a bench down the sidewalk from the main entrance, Ryan waited.
And then she was there.
Coming to a stop when she cleared the threshold of the automatic doors, she turned and spotted him.
Ryan stood. With his arms loose at his sides, he waited. Maiya took two steps forward but then halted in her tracks. Her head fell forward and her shoulders began to visibly shake.
Son of a bitch, she was crying. A fierce need to protect her coursed through his veins. The amount of energy it took to quell the urge to run to her, hold her, and ease her suffering was enough to launch a rocket. Yet, he couldn’t allow himself to move. After the story she’d told him last night about her brother, Ryan believed, deep in his soul, no one had taken care of her since Jeremy died. But she hadn’t allowed anyone near her heart to try, either. Maiya needed to reach out, and then let someone take care of her for once, and he just so happened to be the lucky bastard she needed to reach for. It cut him to the bone watching her stand there and cry though.
After what felt like an eternity, she looked up and then ran to him. Ryan opened his arms, sent up a silent prayer of thanks and enfolded her into his embrace. Cradling her against his chest, he stroked the back of her head. “All right, baby. It’s all right.”
With a death grip on the back of his shirt, her heart-wrenching sobs shook them both. When her tears ebbed, he kissed the top of her head and led her over to the bench. They both needed to sit.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
He stroked her hair. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for crying, Maiya.”
“Easy for you to say.” Pulling a tissue from her pocket, she blew her nose. “Damn, I need a cigarette. I haven’t had one since I landed.”
“I figured you might. You’ve been in her room for the last eight hours straight, huh?” He rubbed her back.
“Yeah.” She shook her head. “I keep waiting for her to wake up. The doctors said she wouldn’t though, not today, anyway.” She lit a cigarette, inhaled and then blew out a stream of gray smoke.
“What are they saying’s going on?”
“I told you she was sick, but I didn’t tell you what she was sick with.” She put the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag. “She’s in end-stage liver disease, cirrhosis to be specific. She also has COPD, basically emphysema.” She sniffled and looked over at him. “Don’t look at me like that. I know I should quit.”
“Babe.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he pulled her closer. “Yeah, sure, I would love it if you quit smoking, but it wasn’t what I was thinking.”
“Then what?”
“I happen to be thinking you’re an incredible woman. And—” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Hey, now. Let me finish.” He squeezed her shoulder. “And because she’s all you have left, this has got to be hard on you. It’s scary, baby.”
Maiya leaned forward, staring at the ground. “I don’t know what I feel. My relationship with my mother is far from pleasant. I mean, I love her—she’s my mother, but I don’t like her.” She drew on her cigarette again. “Jesus, I sound like such a horrible person, huh?”
“No. You sound like a woman who grew up in a home where she never got taken care of.” He stroked her back and she looked over at him. “You sound like a woman who takes care of her mother, even though she never took care of you.”
“I’m no saint, Ryan.” She stubbed out her smoke. “I just do what I have to do.”
“It’s more than a lot of people would do.”
She lit another cigarette. After a little while, she rested her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for coming, even though I said not to.” She cleared her throat. “You’re kind of a pain in the ass.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few times.” He mussed the top of her hair. “So, I’m guessing you’ve not eaten, right?”
“Heyyyy. Watch the hair.” Smiling, she poked him in the side. “Nope, I haven’t eaten. Haven’t had any coffee, either.”
He raised his arms in the air in a mock stretch. “Guess it’s a good thing I came anyway then, huh?”
“Yeah, yeah. Pipe down.”
“Ah, there’s my girl.”
“Don’t make me slap you.”
“Tell you what, give me your keys, I’ll go drop my stuff at your house and come back with hot food and equally hot coffee. Good?”
“You don’t have to do that—I mean, you can go to my house and hang out or something. You don’t have to bring food or anything.”
“Look at it this way, I have to eat too, right? And besides—” he held up his hand to stop her from interrupting, “—I came here to not only take care of you, I came here to be with you. So, not another word. Now, keys, please.”
She narrowed her eyes. “They’re upstairs in my purse.”
Standing, he held out his hand to her. “Lead the way.”
She shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh, took his hand and did what he said.
About damn time.
Maiya couldn’t believe he was determined to stay. In addition, he intended to take care of her. Fat chance. The level of anxiety and annoyance pulsing in her veins far outweighed her patience for his domineering bullshit. She’d managed to take care of herself for the last nineteen years since Jeremy died; she sure as hell didn’t need someone stepping up now. What? Did he think he was some prince with two shiny luxury cars come to rescue her from a tower? Not quite.
For now, she’d humor him and let him do what he wanted, but she intended to nip it in the bud as soon as this ordeal was over. She didn’t need or want the complication of a relationship in her life. Never mind all the heartbreak often accompanying it.
They were quiet when they entered her mother’s hospital room. As expected, nothing much had changed since she’d gone downstairs. Ryan set his bag down and took a moment at the foot of the bed, looking at her mother and the various machines set around the room, she assumed. Before sending him off with her car keys, Maiya asked him to grab a sweat jacket from the mudroom closet for her. Might as well, right?
She eyed the oversized recliner. It folded out to a makeshift bed and she wondered if they would fit in it, but then dismissed the thought. There was no reason to think he was going to be spending the night there with her. Maiya glanced at his bag still sitting on the ground at the foot of her mother’s bed. Maybe he intended to stay after all.
Ryan returned in less than an hour with a bag of clothes and some toiletries for her. Food and—thank you, baby Jesus—hot coffee for both of them. A downpour of guilt drenched her, washing away her earlier feelings of annoyance. He handed her one of the steaming cups and then pulled the rolling hospital bed table over to where she sat in the recliner.
Thanking him for the coffee, she took a sip of the fresh brew. Ryan lowered the table to a proper level, took a seat in a plastic chair and set out two containers of food for both of them. Every time she’d convinced herself he was going to let her down, he proved her wrong. He said he was here to take care of her and maybe he meant it. Maybe he meant all of it.
He stopped what he was doing when he noticed her watching him. “What?”
“Nothing. Just watching how efficient you are.”
His brows peaked as if he wasn’t sure if she was being serious, but then he went back to his task.
“Thank you for this.”
“No big deal, babe. It’s just food and a coffee.” He took a bite of his sandwich.
Maiya covered
his hand with hers. “It’s so very much more than food and a coffee, and I need you to know I appreciate it.”
“I do. Now eat. You’re going to need your strength.”
“It looks delicious.” She picked up a corner of the sandwich and bit in. Nodding, Ryan smiled and then took a bite of his own. She glanced at her mother. “I’m probably going to stay here tonight.”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I figured as much.”
“I don’t know if we’ll both fit in this recliner.”
“It’s all right, I’ll sleep in this folding chair if I have to. Either way, I’m not leaving.” He sipped his coffee. “Well, at least not until Sunday at six to fly home.”
“Where’s Jacob?”
“He’s with Jimmy at my house for the weekend. I’ll get home and they’ll have built racecar tracks running down the stairs and through the formal living room.” He chuckled.
“No doubt.” She laughed with him and took another bite of her sandwich.
A nurse with short black hair and bright-pink lipstick came in to hang another bag of something for her mother and check the monitors. Before leaving, she erased the prior nurse’s name from the white board on the wall and added her own. “If you have any questions let me know.” She smiled and left the room.
“Thank you,” Maiya called after her. Not able to eat another bite, she pushed the container away and sat back in the recliner.
“Did you eat enough?”
She patted her tummy. “Yes, I’m stuffed. Thanks. Now I need another cigarette.”
“Good. I’m just about full myself. Why don’t you head down and have your smoke, and I’ll clean up.”
“You sure?”
“I got this. Go ahead; we’ll be here when you get back.” He started packing up their mess.
“All right.” Releasing a breath, she got up and stepped next to the bed. Maiya stroked her mother’s cheek with a tenderness she wasn’t used to showing and gave her a kiss on the forehead, then left the room.
When she got back, Ryan had extended the recliner into a bed and was lying down, looking all perfect and comfortable, reading a magazine. Glancing up at her, he scooted over and rolled to his side. He patted the cushion for her to lie next to him.
Fear and desperate need warred inside Maiya and she hesitated. There was no energy within her to fight it though. In truth, she really did want the warmth of his arms around her. Maybe they’d fit after all.
And the irony of the statement hadn’t escaped her, either.
Chapter Forty
Ryan wasn’t sure what time they’d drifted off to sleep, not that it mattered. What mattered was he was there, and Maiya was in his arms.
The rattle of a wet cough and then a raspy voice broke the silence. “Who the hell are you?”
Maiya jerked awake at the sound of Joanie’s voice and pushed herself up on one arm. “Mommy?”
“Depends on who’s asking.” Joanie grumbled. “Christ, I feel like shit.”
Getting up, Maiya went to her side. “How are you feeling?” She took her mother’s hand.
“I just said I feel like shit, didn’t you hear me?”
Ryan righted the recliner and watched the exchange between the two. So this was Maiya’s mother in action. She seemed like a peach. Not.
“Aside from that.”
“Like I want to sleep. What happened?”
“Mrs. Janowick found you unconscious. Evidently your liver isn’t doing so hot.”
Joanie snorted, but didn’t comment. Maybe the snort was the comment.
Maiya reached for the call button. “I’ll get the nurse.”
Joanie caught Maiya’s hand. “I want to go home, Emmie.”
“No way in hell. You’re not going anywhere, Mom.” Depressing the button, Maiya signaled for the nurse.
Joanie strained to sit up but started coughing and wheezing. Maiya supported her mother’s back to help her lie back down. “Easy, Mommy.”
Joanie struggled and swatted at her daughter, barely missing Maiya’s cheek. She grabbed Joanie’s arm and restrained her. “Knock it off, Mom! I’m not screwing around with you. This is serious. Are you listening to me?”
Ryan rushed to Maiya and put his hand on her shoulder. Joanie stilled and closed her eyes, but continued coughing. Maiya turned to look at him, anger and fear burning hot as fire in her eyes. “I can’t do this. I am not fucking doing this!” Jerking away from him, she fisted both hands at her sides.
A nurse came in and immediately examined Joanie. “Everything okay here?” She’d obviously heard Maiya’s outburst from the hall.
Tension filled the room and Ryan took a step back. Maiya wrapped her arms around her stomach and stayed quiet.
The nurse grabbed a package from the cabinet and then fitted oxygen tubing across Joanie’s face. When she was done, she raised the angle of the bed, elevating Joanie’s head higher. “She needs to stay calm. I’ll page the doctor and let him know she’s regained consciousness.”
Maiya paced, chewing on her thumbnail.
“I’ll go get us some coffee.” Ryan waited for a reply. When there was none, he put on his shoes and headed to the hospital cafeteria.
When he approached the room with two coffees and a bag of pastries, he spotted Maiya in the hall talking to who he assumed was the doctor. Giving her some privacy, he stepped into the room. And discovered a very awake Joanie.
“You’re the one aren’t you?” Joanie let out a gravely wheeze.
Ryan set the items on the table. “I guess it depends on what you mean by ‘the one’.”
Joanie coughed a couple times. “Another smart ass. You two must get along real nice then.”
“That’s one way of looking at it.” Chuckling, he stepped over to her bedside. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Rossini. My name’s Ryan Donnelly.” He took her limp hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Polite too.” Her lips curved into a weak smile. “You’re the one that’s not the flavor of the month.” Closing her eyes, Joanie drew in a shallow breath.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Don’t play dumb, I can already see you’re a smart dude. C’mere.” Joanie waved him closer and he bent forward.
Placing a shaking hand on his cheek, she gazed into his eyes. Hers might’ve been a bright blue at one time. Now they appeared dull, tired. Sadness colored Ryan’s thoughts. He felt bad her life had turned out the way it did, and he could only imagine what dreams she must’ve had once upon a time. Life knocked people down sometimes, and it could be so hard to get back up and move forward. It made him think of Tammy. Some people never got back up.
“Don’t let her push you away, okay?” Her voice was weak and then she turned her head away and cleared her throat. Facing him again, she continued. “My Emmie? She’s stubborn. She pushes everyone away. You’re different though.” She patted his cheek. “She deserves you, Mr. Donnelly, so don’t let her think any different. Don’t let her run you off with her hard exterior, understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Ryan took the hand she held to his face and then kissed the back of it. “Rest for a bit, okay?”
“Sure, sure.” She looked up at the ceiling. “Christ, I want a cigarette.” She snorted and coughed, but then closed her eyes and appeared to fall asleep.
Maiya walked back into the room and found Ryan bent over her mother. She was talking, but Maiya couldn’t hear what she was saying. Then Ryan took her mother’s hand in his and kissed it. What in the world could her mother have said to make him do that? Noticing the coffees he’d bought, Maiya grabbed one off the table.
Ryan approached and took the other cup. “What did the doctor say?”
She took a sip before answering, letting the hot brew warm her too-cold insides. “They’re concerned about her lungs. It’s the reason for the oxygen tubing. Goo
d chance she’s got pneumonia now.”
Opening the bag, he took out a cheese Danish for her. “That doesn’t sound good.”
Maiya took the offered pastry and nibbled the edge. Frustration pricked at her nerves. It bugged the ever-loving crap out of her that he’d talked to her mom and she hadn’t been there. Not like he wasn’t allowed or anything, she just…she wanted to know what the woman, who never said anything nice to anyone, said to him. With her mother, one never knew what might come out of her mouth. Screw it. “What did she say to you?”
He paused, mid-sip, and stared at her over the rim of the foam cup. “She said I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“Shut up! She did not, did she? Oh my God, I am so sorry.” She put her hand on her forehead and shook her head.
How mortifying. But it was her mother, after all. The woman said what she wanted to whoever she wanted. Didn’t matter if they were the damn President of the United States, if Joanie Rossini didn’t like a person, she had no problem telling them.
“Shh, baby, relax.” He chuckled. “I’m kidding. That’s not what she said.”
Maiya frowned. “Not funny. That’s absolutely something she would say, you know.” She huffed and took another bite of the Danish. “Thank you for breakfast,” she said around a mouthful.
He leaned forward and kissed her, her mouth still full of food. “Mmm.”
She swallowed. “That’s kinda gross.”
“Nope, just makes you sweeter.” He smiled.
“Will you two shut up? Trying to sleep over here.” Joanie groaned.
“Nice to see your disposition is still normal, Mom.”
“Find a way to get me a drink and a cigarette and my disposition’ll be just fine.”
“Sorry, no can do.” Maiya went to her. “Get some rest. We’ll go downstairs for a bit. Okay?” She smoothed her mother’s hair back from her forehead.
“Quit fussing over me, Emmie. Go with your man there. I’m not going nowhere.”
Leaning in, Maiya kissed the top of her head. “Yes, Mother. I love you too.” Maiya picked up her coffee and what was left of her pastry and headed for the door. She didn’t look back, assuming Ryan was following.
Unworthy Heart: The Donnellys, Book 1 Page 30