“Go on in,” he said, speaking to both of them. “The judge is waiting.”
Twenty-Two
The inside of the courtroom looked like a dungeon—the floors, the walls and even the benches where they were apparently supposed to sit—were all rough gray stone. Rising twenty feet above them at the very front of the court was an impossibly tall stone podium and sitting behind it was the same squat, squinty-eyed, snout-nosed troll that Cass remembered from the U-News.
“Order in my court! This case is about to start, now that the estimable Counselor O’Shea has deigned to grace us with his presence,” the troll judge snarled in his gargling-with-gravel voice. He banged loudly on the podium with his granite gavel.
The FG, (who was dressed in sparkly pink as always,) and her little gnome-like attorney jumped apart guiltily. They had been conferring in whispers but they fell silent at once, their eyes wide and frightened. Both of them wore the same pain amplifier wristbands that she and Jake had on, but Cass didn’t see the extra black box that Jake had insisted on having on the wristband of either the FG or her attorney.
She found to her chagrin that it gave her no pleasure to see her irritating, negligent fairy godmother looking so worried and scared. It only made her feel worried and scared herself. After all, anyone who could frighten the FG was probably not somebody you wanted to mess with. Cass watched Jake apprehensively to see what he would say or do but he kept his face blank and simply ushered her to one of the long stone benches at the front of the court.
“Your honor,” he said, nodding respectfully at StoneThroat, although he had to look up to do it since the troll judge was sitting so far above them.
“O’Shea.” The judge nodded back and the yellow, squinty eyes seemed to gleam—or was that a trick of the weak greenish light? “Bailiff,” he shouted. “Call the court to order.”
Cass hadn’t seen any obvious court attendant other than the imp outside but now a large section of one of the rocky walls appeared to detach itself. A shambling figure that was ten feet tall at least came forward, its joints grinding together as it walked. It appeared to be made completely out of stone, even its eyes, though they were a darker shade than the rest of it.
“The court of the honorable Judge StoneThroat is now in session,” growled the stone creature. “All rise for the honor of the court.”
Cass and Jake stood, as did the FG and her lawyer.
“This is the case of Cassandra Swann verses her fairy godmother, Lucinda LaFleur, whom she is suing for flagrant magical negligence with intent to do harm,” the stone bailiff went on. “Do all parties swear to tell the truth on pain of being smashed?” He pounded the massive boulders that were his fists together, as though to illustrate his point.
“We do,” Jake said promptly and the FG’s lawyer—who was wearing the same ugly brown suit she had been when Cass had seen her in Judge Rosinbloom’s courtroom—said the same.
“Good—court is in session.” Judge StoneThroat banged the gavel again—he seemed very fond of the noise it made. “Now, I haven’t had much time to review this case. Why are you suing this fairy?” he demanded, looking directly at Cass.
“I…she…” Cass gulped. She wasn’t afraid of public speaking but she hadn’t expected to have to do any of the talking—wasn’t that what Jake was there for?
“Hurry up! You are wasting this court’s time!” Judge StoneThroat barked. He pressed a button on the side of his gavel and pointed it directly at her.
To her right, Cass saw Jake suddenly stiffen, his jaw clenched tight as though in response to the judge’s action. She wasn’t sure what was happening but she knew she’d better start talking fast.
“I’m suing the FG, er, Lucinda LaFleur because she’s been screwing up my birthday wishes and the birthday wishes of my sisters for our entire lives…your Honor,” she added quickly as an afterthought.
“Your Honor, that is simply not true!” the FG exclaimed. “Why, I only—”
“Silence!” The troll judge pointed at the FG and pressed the button on his gavel again. She gave a sharp little cry of pain and shut her mouth so fast it made Cass think of a trap snapping shut. What was going on?
“Counselor O’Shea, in what way is this fairy ‘screwing up’ the birthday wishes of your client?” StoneThroat demanded, looking at Jake. “Present evidence at once to support your claim or prepare to be sanctioned.”
“I have some right here, your Honor. If I may approach the bench?” Jake asked respectfully.
The judge nodded. “I’ll allow it.”
Jake rose smoothly and drew something out of the breast pocket of his immaculate suit. As he unfolded it, Cass recognized the picture of the soul-sucker with its awful yellow eyes and long, sharp white teeth. She shivered as she watched her court-appointed elf hand it to the stone bailiff, who in turn handed it up to the waiting Judge StoneThroat.
“Mm-hmm,” he said, after studying the picture for a while. “And why have you given me a picture of a daemon, Counselor O’Shea?”
“This daemon is a soul-sucker which was unleashed by the defendant’s latest birthday wish, which she granted to my client not two days ago,” Jake said, frowning. “It attacked my client and the children she was teaching and nearly devoured them. If I had not come to her call when I did, all of them would have been eaten.”
Judge StoneThroat raised a wiry gray eyebrow at Jake.
“Is this your way of trying to excuse your inexcusable early departure from my courtroom the other day?” he demanded.
Jake shook his head.
“By no means, your honor. I am simply presenting evidence for our case as you ordered.”
Apparently the FG could no longer be silent.
“If that miserable little half-breed conjured a soul-sucker out of the Pit it’s because she misused my gift which is not my fault!” she exclaimed, hopping up and fluttering her wings in agitation. “If she says otherwise she’s ly—”
“Enough!” Judge StoneThroat boomed, pointing his gavel at the FG and pressing the button on the side again. She jumped and gasped as though in pain. “You will speak when you are spoken to, Ms. LaFleur—not before!”
“It’s not fair,” Cass heard the FG whimper to her attorney. “It’s not like you’re wearing a transfer loop like her attorney is.” She shot a venomous glance at Cass who stared blandly back.
“I have told you, Lucinda, you don’t pay me enough to take painful sanctions for you—especially when you bring them on yourself,” the gnome-like woman murmured back. “If you’d just hold your tongue the judge wouldn’t have to sanction you.”
“But she’s lying,” the FG whined loudly, glaring at Cass.
“I am not!” Cass said hotly.
“Enough!” Judge StoneThroat pointed the gavel at her this time and pushed the button. Cass didn’t feel a thing but beside her, Jake stiffened again and she saw the muscle in his jaw bunch as he clenched his teeth. His hands curled into fists at his sides but he didn’t say anything, just stood still while every muscle in his big body appeared to tense.
Suddenly Cass understood what was going on. Every time the judge pressed that button on his gavel and pointed it at someone, he was sending a bolt of pain somehow—“sanctioning” them, as the door attendant had put it. But she wasn’t feeling any of it because Jake was taking it for her—that was the meaning of the transference loop he’d insisted on getting wired to his own pain amplifier band.
Oh my God, I’m hurting him! Or at least he’s being hurt for my sake. I pissed off the judge but Jake has to take the consequences.
She felt terrible and wondered if she ought to apologize. Would an apology make the judge more lenient? Or would it piss him off even more that she had dared to speak out of turn again? And why was he sanctioning Jake for so long? When he’d “sanctioned” Lucinda, it had appeared to last only a second, like an electric shock. Then again, he did already have it out for Jake because the elf had left his courtroom early the day before.
&
nbsp; Left early because of me, Cass thought miserably. No matter how angry and irritated she was with the big elf, it didn’t mean she wanted him to be hurt! She was just opening her mouth to plead with the judge to stop when he finally let up on the button and seemed to turn his mind back to the case.
“Now then…what was your birthday wish and how did it turn into such a monumental failure?” he demanded of Cass.
This time she was ready to speak at once.
“I’m an artist, your Honor. I inadvertently said out loud to myself that I wished I could get my art to be more lifelike. But I didn’t mean I wanted it to actually come to life! Now I can’t paint anything without it leaving the paper and causing havoc. And since I’m primarily a painter, this is a real problem for me.”
“I see.” Judge StoneThroat nodded thoughtfully.
“If it please the court,” the FG’s lawyer said, looking up at the judge. “I would like to point out that the plaintiff’s exact words were, ‘I just wish I could get some life into my painting.’ Emphasis hers. I have her words recorded on a show-me if your Honor wishes to hear it.”
“No, not necessary. Hmmm…” The troll judge appeared to consider. “That is a very specific wish.”
“If it please the court,” Jake said before Cass could protest. “I would like it entered into the record that this was not my client’s official birthday wish. She was having difficulty with a painting she was working on and she was simply speaking her thoughts aloud—not actually asking her fairy godmother to grant them.”
“She said the words ‘I wish’ at the exact time of her birthday,” the FG’s gnome-like lawyer pointed out quickly. “She—”
“Silence—let me think!” The judge pointed his gavel at the gnome attorney and she squeaked and went rigid for a moment as though she’d stuck her finger into a light socket.
Cass bit her lip in frustration. She wished she could say more to defend her claim that the FG had deliberately ruined her birthday wish but she didn’t dare for fear of making Judge StoneThroat mad and getting Jake shocked again. So she kept quiet, as was everyone else in the courtroom.
They all waited in silence as the troll judge squinted his eyes and glared off into the distance, as though considering what to do. At last he nodded to himself and gestured with his gavel.
“All right—I’m ready to rule.”
“But your honor, you haven’t heard the awful way those little half-breed miscreants have treated me!” the FG exclaimed. “They have the nerve to—”
“Silence! How dare you speak when I’m about to rule?” StoneThroat pointed his gavel at the FG and gave her an extra-long zap.
The FG shook and shivered as though she was having a seizure. Cass thought wryly that she might have been able to take some satisfaction from the sight of her fairy godmother getting her just desserts if she could have been certain that she herself wasn’t next. What would the troll judge do? There was absolutely no way of knowing.
After making certain that the FG was thoroughly “sanctioned” StoneThroat put down his gavel and spoke again.
“It is my judgment that there is fault on both sides,” he growled. “The plaintiff should have been more careful about stating a wish out loud when it was near her birthday hour. But the defendant should have made certain this was actually the wish the plaintiff wanted her to grant before arbitrarily granting it.”
The FG, whose blonde hair was now sticking out in all directions, looked like she wanted to speak but didn’t dare. She contented herself with smoothing her hair and shooting Cass a poisonous look which Cass pointedly ignored. Let the FG stew. They might both be in hot water in a minute, depending on what the troll judge decided to do.
“It is my ruling,” Judge StoneThroat continued, “That the defendant, Lucinda LaFleur, be fined a week’s salary and removed as fairy godmother for Cassandra Swann and her sisters. She will be replaced by another fairy to be assigned by this court. The newly assigned fairy godmother will redress the wrong which had been caused by the improper birthday wish and put things to rights.”
“If it please the court, your Honor,” Jake said, his jaw clenched as though he was bracing himself for pain, “May I point out that it is notoriously difficult—some even claim impossible—for one fairy to undo the magic of another?”
“Silence!” Judge StoneThroat pointed warningly at Jake with his gavel. “My judgment is final and not to be questioned, Counselor O’Shea.”
“Understood, your Honor,” Jake said stolidly. “However, I would be doing my client a grave disservice if I did not question it. She must have this wish reversed so that she can earn her livelihood as an artist. Cassandra Swann is extremely talented—if she is unable to paint—”
“That’s it—I have had enough of your disrespect!” Judge StoneThroat growled. “Bailiff—smash him!”
The huge stone bailiff stepped forward, all its joints grinding as it reached for Jake. Cass felt a surge of panic—was he actually going to be smashed to a bloody pulp right in front of her just because he’d dared to do the right thing and speak up?
“No, wait!” she gasped, throwing herself between O’Shea and the huge stone monstrosity. “Please, your Honor,” she exclaimed, looking up at the troll judge. “Don’t hurt him! He’s only trying to help me—he’s not even getting paid for this!”
“Is that so?” For the first time the troll judge looked somewhat sympathetic. He frowned at Jake. “You took this ridiculous case involving humans and half-breeds pro bono, Counselor O’Shea?”
“I did.” Jake gave a short, sharp nod. As he spoke, he pushed Cass behind him, putting himself between her and the huge stone bailiff despite her protests.
“Well then…” The troll judge appeared to be deliberating. “Don’t smash him,” he said at last to the bailiff. “I’ll let this one slide. Now, if that’s all…”
“Your Honor!” Jake was frowning deeply. “I need some assurances that my client will be able to resume her livelihood!”
“She will be,” Judge StoneThroat growled irritably. “Didn’t I say that the replacement fairy godmother would be appointed by the court? I personally will be certain that a competent fairy is assigned. Case dismissed.” He banged his granite gavel with an air of finality and glared at all of them, as though daring anyone to contradict him.
Jake still looked upset but he glanced at Cass and shook his head briefly. Clearly nothing else could be done. Cass couldn’t say she blamed him for that conclusion—she could only imagine what the judge would do if her court-appointed elf dared to question his personal guarantee. She just had to hope that Judge StoneThroat was good at picking out competent fairy godmothers.
“Thank you for your ruling, your Honor. May I and my client please have permission to leave your court?” The FG’s gnome-like lawyer asked.
“Permission granted.” The troll judge nodded.
“Thank you, your Honor.” Across the aisle, the FG’s lawyer began gathering her things and the FG was doing the same. She shot Cass another poisonous glance. As the two of them left, she hissed from the corner of her mouth,
“Good luck getting your ridiculous wish reversed without me, you little half-breed!”
She flapped her pink, sparkly wings in Cass’s face and then she was gone, strutting towards the dungeon door like she owned the place.
Cass bit her lip in frustration.
“One week without pay?” she muttered to Jake. “That’s a slap on the wrist! And she’s always wanted to get rid of us as clients—she’ll probably think it’s worth a week’s salary not to be saddled with us anymore!”
“Unfortunately true but it’s more of a sanction than I thought she’d receive,” he murmured back. “The fae courts are hardly ever going to rule in favor of a human over a fae—especially a fairy.”
“Well, at least we don’t have to deal with her ever again.” Cass sighed. “Come on—I want to get home and take off these horrible shoes—they hurt.”
“In a moment.
” Jake turned to face the podium again. “Your Honor,” he said, “May my client and I have your permission to leave your courtroom?”
From the evil, gloating grin that spread over StoneThroat’s ugly gray face, Cass got a sinking feeling that the troll judge had been waiting for this request.
“No, you may not, Counselor O’Shea,” he snarled. “You and I have unfinished business to attend to.”
Twenty-Three
“Wait—what? What business is he talking about?” Cass looked at Jake wildly. “What is he going to do to us?”
“Not to us—to me.” Jake lifted his chin and looked at Judge StoneThroat who was still gloating down at them from his ridiculously tall podium. “I am ready, your Honor.”
“Good.” The troll judge actually rubbed his gnarled gray hands together making a dry, sandpapery sound. “Then let the punishment begin.”
“Punishment?” Cass gasped as the stone bailiff stepped forward and took Jake by the arm. “What kind of punishment? Why are you being punished?”
“He’s going to be severely sanctioned for the crime of leaving my courtroom early the last time he was here,” Judge StoneThroat snapped. “And unless you want to be sanctioned as well, you’ll be silent, young lady!”
“Jake, no—please! I don’t want you to be punished for me—it’s not fair!” Cass reached for him but the bailiff was already pulling him away.
“You mustn’t try to stop this. You’ll only make things worse and I don’t want you to be punished as well.” Jake frowned sternly but his deep voice was strangely gentle as he added, “It’s all right, Cassandra. Just wait outside the courtroom for me.”
“No, I’m not going to wait outside!” Cass exclaimed indignantly. “You’re getting punished on my account—the least I can do is stay with you!”
Be Careful What You Wish For Page 21