The very thought of her distress churned the ball of fury in his core faster and hotter.
***
Nickie didn’t try to get out of Zenon’s arms again. She needed his comfort more than she was willing to admit. Had she been stronger, she could have offered it to him instead—he was the one who’d lived through the horrors she’d seen—but she wasn’t. Not yet, anyway.
“Where did you grow up? That castle was beautiful,” she asked, needing to remove herself from the darkness still eating away at her.
“Across the vast waters, on a small island.” Zenon’s hand paused on the upstroke over her spine. “Off the coast of what you would call Scotland, I think. It is difficult to say. The land masses from the maps in your memories are different than what they used to be. Smaller. More water separates them.”
She glanced up at him. “I never would have guessed it from your accent. The Scottish have a distinct sound, but I don’t hear it in your voice.”
“It was where we called home, but we traveled the world. Learned from all cultures.”
She flexed her fingers against warm skin, and his nipple hardened beneath her palm. “I should probably get off your lap,” she said but made no move to stand.
The arm he still had wrapped around her waist tightened just enough for her to feel it. The hand caressing her back paused mid-stroke before continuing its leisurely journey. “If that is what you wish, but I would prefer keeping you where you are for a while longer. It soothes my phoenix.”
She had a niggling feeling that she was still the one being comforted, but if he didn’t mind, she didn’t, either.
“How does it work? Can you speak to your brothers anytime you want? To me?” she asked as she lay her head against his shoulder again.
“You can speak to me like this any time you wish, and I with you. Whatever dark magic is blocking me from speaking to my brothers is weaker than it once was. I had not had contact with either since the moment the collar was secured around my neck all those years ago,” he spoke into her mind.
It should have been invasive—or at the very least, awkward—but it wasn’t. It was like his presence there should have always been, and now, he filled a space reserved for him she hadn’t known was empty.
A soft touch pressed at the top of her head, making Nickie smile. His hands were nowhere near there, so it had to have been a kiss. Had he heard her thought?
“It is a lovely thought,” he admitted out loud, proving that he had. “With time, you will learn to erect barriers to ensure privacy, but until then, I will be privy to most of what goes through your mind. I will do my best to keep from making you uncomfortable.”
“Thank you. Will you teach me how to do it?”
“Of course. Though, if you sift through the knowledge I’ve shared with you, it is already there. Alas, like anything else, it will require practice to master the skill.”
He was quiet for a moment, and she couldn’t bring herself to ask more questions. The truth was, after the ordeal of witnessing all he’d gone through, she was exhausted both physically and mentally.
“When Zandar spoke to me for the first time this morning, I thought I had imagined it, or perhaps that I was delirious, but I no longer believe that to be the case. Somehow, your nearness awakened my latent phoenix. The power within you must be great for you to have wrested control over the merging as you did.”
She lifted her head so she could look at him. “All I did was let the images come to me. I didn’t seek them out,” she denied. And as far as she knew, she hadn’t.
“Yet, they seeped from my mind and into yours like rain in the desert. Perhaps my shields are weak since I’ve had no need to reinforce them in so long. Or maybe your strength is greater than either of us can imagine.”
She didn’t know what kind of strength he was talking about, but she was too tired to ask. She snuggled deeper into him, inhaling his scent.
“Have you managed to contact Zechariah yet?” she asked. The image of the baby boys flitted through her mind, then more as they grew. It was odd thinking of them as family, yet, her intimate knowledge of them couldn’t be denied. Zandar was the playful one. His smiles were never far from his lips, and he could always make his brothers laugh, even the straight-laced Zech who constantly analyzed everything.
Zenon sighed. “I have not. Even Zandar is silent once more.”
Her breath hitched at the sadness flooding her. On a conscious level, she was aware it wasn’t her own, but still, the acuteness of it slammed into her, squeezing at her heart until even taking a breath was difficult. “We’ll find him. And Zech,” she promised. No matter what, they would not quit until every captured phoenix was free. That had been her plan all along, but now, she’d do it if for no other reason than to dull some of the pain Zenon endured.
Silence stretched between them as his sorrow abated, leaving her emotionally drained after the excitement of the day and devastation after glimpsing Zenon’s past.
“We should probably go back. If we’re going to head out on the next leg of our journey in the morning, we need to get some sleep,” she suggested. This time, when she tried to wiggle out of his grasp, he let her go, then followed her up to stand next to her.
“I did not see a dwelling anywhere near when I circled the area to assess for threats.” He looked down at her, but he wasn’t seeing her. His eyebrows rose. “Ah, the fabric domes.”
“Tents. I wish I could offer you something more comfortable, but considering the remoteness of the places we’re traveling to, the tents made the most sense. I have an air mattress, though, so we won’t be on the hard ground.” Heat raced from her chest and into her cheeks. Presumptuous much? “If you want to share with me, that is. If not, then you can have the smaller tent to yourself, and I’ll bunk with the other girls.”
When gathering supplies, they had bought two tents large enough to house all of the women, and then smaller tents for when the mates were found to make things less awkward for the new couples. The fact that it hadn’t occurred to her until then that the men might not want to be in such close living quarters with someone they’d just met was proof of not only her desperation but that of the other women’s, too.
The feather light caress of his finger down her cheek sent a shiver of awareness coursing through her. “If you knew the lustful thoughts that entered my mind every time I look upon you, you would not doubt my wish to have your body close to mine. It would please me to have you nestled against me in repose, sweet angel.”
More than the shine in his eyes or the words he’d uttered, comfort infused with heat came at her, driving out all doubt. She sucked in a breath and lifted her hand to her chest as though doing so could calm the steady uptick of her heart. “Is it always going to be like this? I can feel what you’re saying. In here,” she said, tapping her trembling fingers on her breast bone.
With a gentle touch, he took her hand and covered his own heart. The steady beat of his kept time with her own. “I can block the sensation if it overwhelms, but the deep connection of mates makes it almost unbearable to be so detached. You’d feel that more acutely if we were fully mated, but even before it may be uncomfortable. I do not think it wise to sever that so soon in our courtship. It would unsettle my phoenix.”
Wow, okay. She forced a breath into her lungs. She knew the likelihood of them being together for the rest of their lives was almost guaranteed. The witch had been clear on that. The old woman had given each of them the opportunity to tuck tail and run if forever with a man they hadn’t even met wasn’t what they wanted. But none of them had. If what she said was true, whatever it was that kept them alive thus far was running out.
She didn’t know the first thing about accessing his memories, and with how painful it had been the first time, she wasn’t sure she was ready to go there again. Not even to find out more about him or what he might be feeling—not yet, in any case. Deep down, she had all the information she needed, even if she couldn’t face it. Her gut told
her she could trust Zenon. The scenes she’d seen—graphic and horrible as they had been—were of him helping people. Saving them.
“No, you don’t need to do that. It’s just a lot to take in,” she finally said. He was a good man. They would figure out the rest as they went. “Let’s get back. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”
Chapter 10
Nickie gripped the wheel with her small hands. How could someone so slight hold enough power to control such a beast—or vehicle—as the one they rode in? He processed the information in his mind, seeking answers, finding them along with a general impression of how the machine worked. His sweet angel didn’t have in depth information on all things, but her intelligence far surpassed that of the humans he’d dealt with prior to his captivity. Stunning. That is what she is. Both inside and out.
When he’d sipped at her knowledge and visualized her short life, he’d witnessed her kindness. Her generosity. The sweetness of her soul. But he’d also found her pain. The heartaches she’d overcome, and the all-consuming fear of her mortality. He did not yet understand the link between them or how it came to pass, but the timeline was too exact to be a coincidence. When his body had given out, so had hers. When he’d risen, she’d come back to life. She’d somehow absorbed some of his pain into her, damaging her heart in the process.
The remembered pressure from the first time her little heart had given out as a small child made him want to grip his own chest. The pain she’d suffered each time had intensified or diminished in correlation with the viciousness of his death. When he’d slowly starved to death, her misery had been slow and gradual. Her body had failed her for weeks. She’d seen it coming and had lived with the terror of knowing what lay ahead, yet not being able to stop it. But on those occasions when the nidhogg had found him and torn him to pieces, the acuteness of her pain had stolen her breath, seized her heart, and driven her to her knees.
Then he’d seen the endless line of healers, needles, and procedures his Nickie still had nightmares over, and the protectiveness of her parents stifling her youthful exuberance in their misguided attempt at keeping her safe.
“I’m sorry, my angel,” he whispered. He’d had no knowledge of what was happening to her. The blame was not his to bear, but he wished it had been different for her. No child—no woman—deserved that kind of pain or fear.
“What for?” she asked, casting her gaze to him before peering out of the windshield once more.
“Your life has not been easy.”
She looked at him again, her serious expression softening. She huffed and then pursed her pretty lips. “That was nothing compared to what you’ve been through. Besides, all that is in the past now, thanks to you.”
As a phoenix mate, she would live for the length of his life, which was endless unless the Gods and Goddesses called him home. But they were not mated yet. If he were to succumb to death, he would rise again. There was no doubt. He’d take her with him and bring her back as he always had. The catalyst for his death mattered naught.
But Nickie was human. If the past was an indicator, then she would rise with him at his death. But what of her own? If she were injured—if death came for her without him—she would perish. Her body did not regenerate.
For the first time in his never-ending existence, fear streaked through him, leaving his molten blood cold in his veins. His phoenix roused inside him, his feathers ruffled, his wide beak open in a silent screech only he could hear.
Her sharp gasp filled the cab, and the SUV lurched to the side, skidding on the loose gravel for a moment before Nickie regained control. “What’s wrong?”
“There is nothing to fear.”
“So, why, then, do I feel like you’ve just seen the worst monster you’ve ever laid eyes on? Is something out there?” She took a steadying breath, her eyes wide as she peered outside and up into the night sky even as she drove.
Using more mental capacity than he’d had to use in a long time, he blocked off his emotions. Nickie had had more than enough worry in her life. There was no need to add his to them. “There is nothing. I simply revisited a memory I should have left alone.”
She looked as though she would say more, but when the road straightened ahead, the domed tents came into view. “Let’s hope everyone is in bed by now. If not, I’ll make excuses so that you don’t have to deal with their million questions tonight,” she said, giving him a reassuring smile as they came to a stop.
His own crept onto his face, tightening his cheeks. She wanted to save him as she’d mentioned, but there was more to it. Thorn-like spikes of jealousy pricked at his energy. She may not be willing to admit it, but she didn’t wish to have the other women near him.
“There you go with the dimples again,” she uttered as she opened the door and stepped down, glancing over her shoulder at him.
“Since you’re fond of them, I shall display them proudly.”
The one named Jas came rushing up to them as soon as they rounded the vehicle. “There you guys are. I was going to send out a search party.”
The faint scent of something akin to mead wafted toward him. Sweet. Fruity.
“Did you guys pop open my wine?” Nickie asked, laughing at her friend who stumbled to the left before righting herself.
Jas’s eyes, less focused than before, lit on his face and back to Nickie. “We did. You were taking too long. But we saved you a bottle so you could celebrate together.” Jas gave Nickie an exaggerated wink.
“You’re such a lightweight,” Nickie said as Jas wrapped her arms around her in a clumsy hug.
“I’m just so happy for you. I’m going to miss you, but I’m happy, you know? For real.” Jas said, her voice coming out wobblier than before.
Nickie pulled back so she could look her friend in the eye. “Hey, none of that. I’m still going to be around. All the time. You won’t miss me. You’ll be trying to get away from me.”
Jas snorted and gave her a watery smile. “Not a chance. And you still owe me a shit ton of sundaes. Remember it.”
Nickie shook her head and glanced in his direction, her gaze full of love for the drunken woman in her arms. Yes, this Jasmine, he would protect. For Nickie.
“You got it. All the sundaes in the world.”
Jas stepped back and gave him what he assumed she thought was a stern look. “And you, mister, better take care of my girl. I don’t know how to hurt a phoenix, but I’d find a way, and you’d be in a world of trouble.”
He cleared his throat. If he thought for a second that the spirited female was a threat, he’d remove her from Nickie’s side so fast she would be left reeling, but she wasn’t. “I shall treat her with the utmost respect and care, if for no other reason than to avoid your wrath.”
Nickie giggled. “Don’t listen to her. She’s a softie. She’ll even share her ice cream if you ask her nicely.”
“Will not.” Jas stuck her tongue out of her mouth and wrinkled her nose before yawning wide. “Now that you’re back and I know you’re safe, I’m going to bed. Everyone is already settled. Big day tomorrow. Looks like we’re going to Canada.”
“Canada?” Nickie asked, her gaze flitting to his.
“Yep. Jackie hasn’t narrowed down the exact coordinates yet, but she said it was in snow country somewhere near the west coast.”
Zenon’s heart thudded hard. “That is where one of my brothers is held?” He could no more control the tension in his voice than he could the hope from blossoming in his chest.
“I dunno. That’s all the information we have. We don’t know who we’re going to find or which mate he will belong to. Could be your brother, but…” Jas shrugged. She didn’t speak with malice, but the spark in his chest dimmed at her words. Perhaps setting his hopes high would not be wise. Should they find a different phoenix, the pain would be less intolerable that way.
“We set up the big tents over there.” Jas pointed to a spot near the lake before whirling around and pointing in the opposite direction. “You
guys are there. We don’t want to hear the two of you going—”
“Okay, right. Well, good night, Jas. We’re going to bed now, too.” Nickie cut in, interrupting her friend, as she shooed her toward the larger tents.
The woman waddled to the first one, then struggled with the zipper before falling inside. “Will she be all right?” he asked, stifling his merriment.
“She’ll be fine by morning. She can’t drink. Never could. It’s cute that she felt the need to have a glass of wine in our honor, though.”
Zenon looked up at the stars, his body taut. “She cares deeply for you.”
“I love her, too. We’ve been friends for so long she’s more of a sister to me. I’d be lost without her.” She licked her lips and glanced at the smaller tent a distance away. “Are you hungry? Or thirsty? I didn’t think to get you anything when you got here. I could grab something for before we settle in for the night.”
Tugging at the bottom of her thin shirt, she twisted the soft material until the fabric molded itself more firmly to her breasts. A scrupulous man would have looked away, but his mate was gorgeous, and it would have taken a nidhogg to appear for him to tear his gaze from her.
“Zenon?” her voice, breathy and sweet, curled around him, drawing him deeper under her spell. Perhaps his angel was a witch in disguise. The thought, however fleeting, was enough to break the hold she had on him.
When his eyes met hers, she blinked up at him, her cheeks flushed and her breaths coming fast as she waited for his reply. What had she asked?
Her lips pulled up at the corners. There was no shadow of incense in her eyes. The passion burning there stole his breath. It seemed the women in the modern age—or at least, his mate—did not mind the perusal he’d given.
“Are you hungry? Thirsty?” she asked, her small tongue darting out to wet her lips.
Stifling a groan, he cleared his throat. “I hunted before coming to you, but I would do with a drink of water. After so many years with nothing more than the occasional drops that fell from the sky for sustenance, I find myself craving it,” he admitted.
Rising Darkness_Phoenix Shifter Fantasy Romance Page 7