by Tiffany King
I hoped she was right. The anger I had felt after Alec punched Greg that allowed me to exude a false confidence in front of him had now evaporated and been replaced with doubt.
"I'll miss you, girl," Michelle said, moving in for a hug after Tina released me. "My money is on you. And I never lose."
"I do," I muttered, thinking about my losing record with bets.
Monica took her turn next. She didn't mention Alec or wish me luck, but gave me a taut squeeze that spoke volumes about our friendship.
They jumped on an elevator together, leaving Greg and me alone.
We gave our statements to the security staff about the earlier incident, confirming Greg's made-up story about tripping, before saying our own goodbyes. Honestly, I wasn't sure what to say to him. In a weird way I felt like I owed him some sort of apology. He smiled and spoke up first, easing the awkwardness. "It's been a pleasure working with you these last few weeks, Nicole," he said formally. "Or should I say—the talent?"
"Funny. I hope this helps you move up at work," I said, deciding to keep it on a professional level. I turned to leave before Greg snagged my wrist, pulling me to a stop. He opened his mouth like he had something to say but hesitated.
"Was there something else?" I asked, looking at his hand that still held my wrist.
He took a deep breath and looked around as if he were searching for something. "If Bonehead up there doesn't see how spectacular you are, then I'm always here. I'd be more than willing to step in." He took a step closer as if he intended to seal his declaration with a kiss.
Instinctively, I took a step backward, shocked by the intensity in his eyes. "Greg, no. What about being friends?"
He gave my hand a squeeze. "I lied. You know, trying to save face and all. Truthfully, it was the most spectacular kiss of my life. Anytime you find yourself in need of another, call me." He dropped my hand and turned to walk away, leaving through the front entrance of the hotel.
Shaking my head at the complexity of men, I sank down on one of the plush chairs in the lobby. I needed a chance to collect my thoughts before heading upstairs. Whatever happened, I wouldn't use tears as a weapon. I had to keep my emotions in check.
My steps felt heavy as I made the slow journey to my room and yet, I still arrived long before I was ready. I stood outside the door, taking several shallow breaths before finally raising my hand to knock.
The door swung open almost immediately. Alec stood before me, tall and handsome as ever. From the instant I first laid eyes on him, I believed he was out of my league. He'd stepped off the cover and into my life.
A strange whistling noise annoyingly teased my ears as I stood on the threshold of my room. It took me a moment to realize the sound was coming from me. My breathing was a bit labored and I felt warm.
Alec didn't speak as I stepped around him and walked into the room. I dropped my purse on the dresser and removed my jewelry without looking back. Now that I finally had him here, I was unsure how we should proceed. Sitting on one of the chairs by the window, I tugged my boots off and slid them out of the way before pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.
Alec moved to the other chair and sat down less than two feet from me. Our knees would have been inches apart if my feet would have been on the floor. I needed my legs tucked against me though. They were my shield.
Neither of us had bothered to speak yet. We seemed to be in a standoff, waiting to see who would jump first. Alec kept his head down with his hands folded over his knees. I couldn't even tell whether his eyes were open. It was strange not seeing him in his usual carefree and laid-back stance. He was serious when he needed to be, as Greg found out, but there was always something so approachable about Alec.
Each minute that passed felt like a rubber band stretching to the point where it was on the verge of breaking. Finally, as I was ready to cave and end the silence, Alec released his end of the rubber band with recoil that was more painful than I could have anticipated.
"You said the kiss meant absolutely nothing to either one of you. I didn't like it. No, fuck that. I hated it, but I dealt with the thought of another guy having his hands on you. Because it was nothing. That's what you said. Then I come here, ready to hash it out and put the whole thing behind us, and what do I find? You and Greg practically hanging all over each other. Not only did you lie, you already moved on."
I shook my head, trying to remember my conversation in the elevator with Greg. No way were we hanging on each other. "Alec, it's not like that at all. I've been torn to pieces over the thought of losing you."
He stood up abruptly. "How fucking stupid do you think I am, Nicole? I saw you. You were so wrapped up in that asshole you didn't even notice I was standing there. He's lucky I didn't do more to wipe that stupid fucking lovesick look off his face." His voice shook with rage as he paced around the small room.
"We were just chatting in the elevator. I'm telling you, there was nothing else happening. We are just friends," I whispered. Of course, there was no way I could tell Alec what Greg had said in the lobby, unless I wanted to be an accessory to murder.
He snorted mockingly. "Come on, Nicole. You can't be that naïve. That guy obviously wanted to be more than 'friends,'" he said, using air quotes. "God, it was fucking clear as day in New York. I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to give you any grief before your tour. Well, that and I trusted you. My mistake."
I opened my mouth to argue. I needed him to understand. The words refused to come out. I could deny everything until I was blue in the face, but if the tables were turned, would I believe him? I couldn't say.
Alec paced back and forth, practically wearing a track in the carpet. I had my own questions burning inside me, but I wanted him to finish unloading so that maybe he would calm down. I still didn't know where we stood. Was he planning to end us? If I asked, would it speed up the process? My heart thumped painfully in my chest. Even as angry as Alec was, I wasn't ready for him to leave.
Eventually he stopped pacing and sat heavily on the edge of the bed, placing his head in his hands. He glanced up with bloodshot eyes, looking at me as if he expected me to say something. I moved from the chair and sank down in front of him. My knees hit the floor with a thud as I reached for his hands. He resisted, clenching them into fists. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry times a million, Alec. I can't undo what happened, but I also don't know what else I can say to make you understand it meant nothing."
He jerked his hands away so abruptly it startled me. Then he snagged my wrists and shackled them in place. "Maybe it meant nothing to you, but trust me. It meant everything to him."
I debated denying it again. Up until an hour ago, I would have assumed he was wrong. I would have continued insisting we were just friends. Now that I knew the truth and could see how angry Alec was, I couldn't lie anymore.
I nodded. "You're right, but just because he has feelings that are different from mine means nothing. I love you. I realize that even more now."
"You know, this trip has been planned for weeks," he said raggedly.
I nodded my head, confused. "Of course. It's the last leg of the tour. It was planned months ago."
"Not you being here. I'm talking about me. I planned on being here for weeks," he said, releasing my wrists and pounding on his chest for emphasis. "Do you know what today is?"
I nodded my head. In my despair, I had forgotten until someone at the signing handed me a homemade valentine fashioned out of my book covers. I completely spaced out that the romance tour was scheduled to end on the most romantic day of the year.
"I've been planning this for weeks. I even made an ass of myself and went to talk to your father. What an idiot I was."
What the hell was he talking about? Why would he possibly need to talk to my father? The thoughts flipped through my head, slowly at first before revealing what I was missing. I sank back on my heels, watching in shock as he pulled a small box out of his pocket.
"You were going to propose?"
I whispered, watching as he tossed the box on the bed with disgust. I felt like such an asshole. Since Christmas I had been struggling with my own fears of long-term commitment and starting our ever after together. Now I felt nothing but waves of crushing pain and fear that I would never get that proposal from him.
"What a joke, right? I actually thought we were ready for the next step," he said, laughing harshly. "Remember at Thanksgiving when we talked about it? I said maybe in the future? While you've been gone I realized my life was incomplete without you. I wanted maybe in the future to be definitely now. I guess I was the only one."
I scooted back against the dresser, pulling my knees up to my chest to shield myself. Earlier I thought I had suffered all the pain I could handle. Now I was on the verge of losing the man I was supposed to spend forever with. How do you possibly get over that?
Chapter 19
I opened my eyes and sat up abruptly, spotting the digital clock on the bedside table that read 2:01 a.m. I was still on the floor, but I had a blanket pulled over me. I stretched my legs out, feeling stiff and slightly numb in my toes. Alec sat on the bed, looking like he hadn't moved in hours. "When did I fall asleep?"
"When we stopped talking. You drifted off, so I covered you up."
"Oh thanks." I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad sign that he was still here. We seemed to be at a stalemate. Maybe we both knew it was over but neither could say the words. That should have given me hope. Something to grasp, but I knew it was only a matter of time. Betrayal was that way.
"Just tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for him?" Alec abruptly asked as the clock moved to 2:03.
I jumped at the sudden sound of his voice in the quiet room.
"Alec. How many times do I have to say it? Absolutely not."
"He wants to fuck you."
After feeling shell shocked when I got back to the room earlier, I was now starting to become frustrated about answering the same question over and over again. "I don't want to fuck him," I finally stated sternly.
He looked taken aback. "You kissed him, and you had every intention of doing more. You were under the impression I was sticking it to Candace, and you took that as a green light." His words were true, but he was spinning them in a way to make it seem like he had done nothing wrong.
"Let's talk about you and Candace for a second. You expect me to believe things haven't changed between you two while I've been gone? You've been all up in her ass since I left." Finally it was my turn to express all the insecurities I had been feeling.
"She's the mother of my child. Of course I'm going to see her."
"Yeah, but multiple times a week? And coincidentally after I'm out of town. Anything else that needed fixing besides her shower? Oh wait. She also needed someone to taste her recipes. How convenient. You don't think I can see what's going on? She's trying to drag you back into her life."
He shook his head, denying my claims. "It's not like that."
"Really? Then tell me how many times she invited you over for dinner before I left? None, right? Greg may want to fuck me, but don't think Candace isn't looking for a husband."
The look on his face said everything. I knew I wasn't crazy.
"That's where we're different. Even if Candace has developed feelings for me, I would never act on them."
"Oh bullshit, Mr. High and Mighty. What if you believed I was in the shower with Greg?"
He looked disgusted at my question. "Revenge sex isn't my thing."
"Whatever." Just like that, all the wind left my sails. No matter how you diced it, I was still the cheater. I had my test and failed. Now I would pay the consequences.
We lapsed back into silence. The minutes moved by—2:21, 2:32, 3:01. I watched them come and go. By 4:39 am, I realized what I needed to do. It was my fault all of this had started. It only seemed fair that I end it. Alec could not seem to say the words, but his intent was clear.
I formed the words in my mind, trying them out. My tongue was swaddled in cotton, refusing to cooperate. The clock moved to 5:02 a.m. and I finally blurted them out.
"It's over." The finality stomped my heart with steel-toed boots. I expected the words to set him free. To finally acknowledge why he was here. I had given him his opportunity to leave. He stretched out on the bed, lying back against the pillows with his arm over his eyes. The movement was my undoing. I tossed the blanket off my lap and climbed up on the bed next to him. He flinched when I placed my arm around his waist, but he didn't pull away. I could feel him shuddering slightly beneath my arm. Pressing myself closer until my face rested against his side, I could no longer hold back the tears I'd been fighting all night.
This would be our goodbye.
Neither of us moved, even when my tears soaked the side of his shirt. Eventually the long night caught up to both of us. Alec was the first to drift off. I could feel the tension leave his body as he succumbed to sleep. I lifted my head and watched him until my eyes became heavy with fatigue and closed on their own.
I remembered nothing after falling asleep. I had always been a big dreamer when I slept, but most of the time couldn't remember much the next morning. Unlike the nightmares I had been having lately, I now felt at ease. A gentle touch stroking my back provided the sweetest of sensations. My eyes fluttered open and I found myself tucked against Alec's chest.
I closed my eyes again, feigning sleep as his hand continued in a gentle motion up and down the length of my back. His intention seemed to be more relaxing than sexual, but each pass ignited a fire inside me. My body always responded to him. What had been missing from a kiss with Greg could flare up from the simplest of touches from Alec.
Despite my ploy to pretend to sleep, I couldn't help my body from moving against him, seeking to be closer. He didn't pull away like I might have expected after all the earlier tension. Instead, he urged me toward him, holding me within the comfort of his muscular arms.
My leg crept up and draped over his thigh as I fisted his shirt in my hand. I lifted it slowly while my mouth moved across the taut skin of his chest, capturing his nipple in my mouth. My tongued swirled, tickling him the way he liked and causing him to knot his fingers in my hair, anchoring my head in place.
A rapid fever of desire spread through me as my hand trailed down his stomach and discovered he was hard and ready. I stroked my hand against his jeans, feeling how badly he wanted more. His hips lifted slightly against my hand and I continued teasing his nipple with my tongue until it was equally hard.
Rolling to my back, I pulled Alec on top of me, gripping his ass until we were pressed together. The thunderous look in eyes made me want to rip his jeans off and demand that he enter me. Before I could say anything he crushed his lips to mine, taking my breath away unexpectedly. He was rough and bruising, but I wanted more. My heart raced faster as I felt my adrenaline pumping. My hips left the mattress over and over again, practically begging for him to remove the layer of clothing that separated us.
He rocked against me, continuing his assault on my mouth with his tongue. Without breaking contact, his hand found the snap of my jeans. I lifted my hips, allowing him to tug them roughly off my legs.
Alec stood up and removed his tee shirt and jeans swiftly as I watched. When he lay back down, my hands slid smoothly down his back, cupping his bare ass and pulling him against me. He responded by sitting up and positioning himself between my thighs, lifting my knees to my chest. His entry was as rough as his kiss had been. I gasped in pleasure, welcoming the full length of him. He pounded furiously against my hips, never taking his eyes from mine. It was the most primitive sex we'd had together. I not only accepted it willingly, but I welcomed it by moving frantically in rhythm with him.
His hand found the back of my neck, anchoring me in place before he stopped moving and pulled out of me. "No," I said, moaning my displeasure, but he covered my mouth with his as he entered me again in one hard thrust.
"You're mine," he growled against my lips.
A tear leaked from
the corner of my eye. "Yes," I gasped against his mouth, feeling him pulsate inside me. "Yes."
His lips softened as his pace changed.
"Got it?" he whispered, pulling back so he could look into my eyes. His hand caressed my neck while his hips slowly rocked against me. Each thrust was slow and smooth, filling me completely.
I felt my climax approaching and tried to fight it back, not wanting the moment to end. It was no use. He slid in and out, over and over again. The end was coming like a runaway train. "I love you," I gasped, gripping his backside as I rode out the wave. He swallowed my words with another kiss, thrusting faster before finding his own release.
He collapsed on top of me, shuddering slightly. I stroked my hands over his back to soothe him. I felt him go soft inside me, but neither of us moved. My legs remained locked around him. "I'm sorry," I finally murmured, placing my lips on his shoulder.
He responded to my words by rolling off me. I was so crushed, I climbed from the bed without looking back and raced to the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I turned on the shower and stepped inside, letting the warm water wash away the tears falling freely down my cheeks.
Even after the closeness we had just shared I still had no idea where we stood, especially after his lack of response to my apology. I tipped my face up to the shower nozzle, accepting the fact that Alec and I may have made love for the last time. The bathroom door opened and I kept my face in the downpouring water. I wasn't sure I could handle whatever he had to say.
Alec slid the curtain open and stepped into the shower, sliding his arms around my waist. "I love you too." He squeezed me tightly as his lips kissed the back of my shoulder.
Neither of us wanted to leave the soothing hot water. It was as if all the pain from the past few days was being washed away. I lathered up my hands with body gel, gliding them over the surface of his perfectly sculpted physique. He watched me without saying a word, allowing me to control his body. I turned him around and added more soap to my hands. As I moved sensually down his side to his butt, I pulled him against me, pressing my breasts to his back. I swayed back and forth, my hardened nipples sliding across his slippery skin. My hands slithered around his waist to find him hard and ready again. Unable to take any more, Alec turned and spun me around. I pressed my palms to the wall as he took me with the water streaming down my back. Our gasps of pleasure and declarations of love echoed against the walls of the bathroom.