by Dana Mason
Heat pulsed through her, sending a rush of blood to her cheeks. She may be pathetic, but she didn’t need his pity. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m not some heartbroken fool who’s mourning the loss off her husband.”
“Really,” he said in a disbelieving voice.
“That’s right—as a matter a fact, I want to celebrate.” She glanced up when the waitress handed her a menu. “We’d like to start with a bottle of champagne.”
The waitress looked surprised, but smiled. “Okay, I have a Chandon Brut, it’s a local Yountville sparkling wine.”
“That’s perfect,” Ali said.
“I’ll be right out with that.”
When she walked away, Johnny said, “Champagne…really?”
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “You have a problem with that?”
“Oh no. No problem at all. I fondly remember the last time we drank champagne together.”
Ali’s memory flashed to naked bodies and tangled sheets, forcing her to look away from his satisfied face.
“I guess you remember too.”
“Hard to forget,” she said. “That was a nice evening but don’t think St. Helena will have the same effect on me…we’re not in Hawaii.”
“Go ahead and keep pretending all those outside forces are to blame for us, but you know damn well they have nothing to do with this. We had some serious strong attractions the first time we met—long before Hawaii, sweetheart.”
“I told you it’s not happening, Johnny. Flash your sexy grin and drawl out your country boy accent all day long, it won’t change my mind.”
“So…you think I’m sexy.”
Ali rolled her eyes. “That is not what I said.”
“First cute, now sexy. It’s okay, I think you’re pretty hot too, sweetheart. It’s all that feisty energy and those soft curves.”
Her heart bumped into overdrive remembering his hands on her. The strong grip and the ownership he took of her soul that night…then she remembered how she had looked that morning in the mirror. A pale zombie of death. Her mouth automatically went into a frown and the memories of Hawaii faded. She was alone…for the first time in her life she was truly alone.
The last four months had been hard. Living alone in the house she’d shared with Carl. She remembered decorating the nursery and preparing for their baby. The hope overflowing, she’d actually thought they were a real family. She’d ignored the fact that Carl never showed any interest, never cared about her pregnancy.
Guilt spread through her. She’d done that to Mark. Left him alone in a house she’d convinced him to buy for her. God he must have been miserable there. The thought made her sick to her stomach. He didn’t deserve it, he had been her best friend for years and she destroyed that…and almost destroyed him. She felt it fully now, she’d been so selfish and self-absorbed…and she was living out her karma.
“Stop thinking about it.”
Ali looked up quickly. “What?”
“Whatever you were thinking about—stop.”
The waitress walked up with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “Here you are.”
Ali looked at the bottle and felt sick again.
“Are you ready to order lunch?” the perky blonde said as she pulled out her notepad.
“Yes—Ali?” Johnny looked over at her, but she shook her head and lowered her eyes. “She’ll have today’s soup and a turkey sandwich on wheat with fries on the side. I’ll have the brickoven meat pizza and a Pale Ale on draft.”
“Okay, I’ll be right out with your beer.”
“Thanks,” Johnny said as she walked away. “I warned you. I hope you like corn chowder and turkey sandwiches.”
“And fries,” she sneered.
“You need some meat on your skinny bones.” He reached over and poured champagne into her glass.
“Why did you let me order that? Just looking at it makes me want to throw up.”
“You wanted to celebrate…what changed your mind?”
“My life,” she whispered.
“Yeah—your life is so bad. Two beautiful boys, a great house, family, more friends than you know what to do with.”
“Other than the two beautiful boys, you’re way off base. More like—empty house, a mother who reminds me every day that I’ve ruined my life, friends who hate me since I left Mark.” She squinted her eyes and tilted her head. “Or didn’t you know…he got all the friends in the divorce.”
Johnny chuckled. “You have me. I’m a pretty good friend to have when the chips are down.”
“You’re bossy—and you’re just trying to get laid.”
He frowned “…or maybe I actually care about you.”
She looked away. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be nasty. I told you I wouldn’t be good company today.”
“Well…you can make it up to me later when I’m gettin’ laid.”
She chuckled. “I deserved that…thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. Facing him today was harder than I thought it would be…and then he didn’t…” The smile dropped from her face and her eyes began to water. She forced herself to push away the tears. “He didn’t even ask about Micah.”
“He doesn’t deserve such a great kid…or you.”
Ali agreed with him, but wondered if she deserved such a great kid. After all, she’d brought him into this world without a decent father.
“Hey, I thought we were celebrating.” He nodded to her glass then poured himself one. “To the wine country and lunch.” He tipped his glass to hers and smiled.
Chapter Seven
On the drive home, Ali felt much better—slightly buzzed from the champagne, but better. Maybe the ritual of getting rid of Carl’s things had given her closure. Maybe the pseudo celebratory champagne had purged her of the bad feelings and now she had a little hope that life would find some normalcy.
Johnny glanced over at her and grinned. “Thanks for showing me the sites and taking a drive with me.”
She laughed. “Next time I’ll try to be a better tour guide.”
He pulled into her driveway and got out, walking over and opening her door for her.
“Want to come in for a while?” She shouldn’t have asked, but she wasn’t ready to be alone again. She had, for a few hours, escaped the inadequacies plaguing her life and she didn’t want to return to those feelings again. It was as if spending time with Johnny had put her sorry life on hold and given her a chance to just be Ali again.
Just Ali.
Not Carl or Mark’s ex-wife, not Jamie and Micah’s mom, but a woman having a nice afternoon with a friend.
Johnny nodded and followed her to the door. She stopped and let him unlock it with her keys. When the door opened, the alarm system beeped until she typed in her code. He closed the door behind them and scowled at the keypad. “What is it with you Californian’s and your alarm systems?”
“You have met Mark, haven’t you?” she said with a hint of sarcasm. “He owns a security company. Most of his business is installing and monitoring alarm systems.”
“I thought he trained and contracted Security Agents.”
“He does that too.” She put her keys and purse down on the table next to the door. “Do you want a drink?”
“Absolutely.” He grinned. “Did you pack the beer?”
“No,” she said walking toward the kitchen.
“Oh…so you were planning on inviting me back.”
“You read a lot into beer,” she said over her shoulder as she reached into the fridge for the beer. When she straightened, he was standing next to her, close…too close.
He took the beer and thanked her. At the same time, he took a step closer. Ali closed the fridge and took a step back until she was against the counter. “You’re
…w-welcome,” she stuttered as Johnny leaned in to kiss her.
He cupped her neck, pulling her closer. When their lips met, Ali lost her sense of reason. How did he have the power to do that to her? His touch, the gentleness was too inviting, and too difficult to resist. His hard, warm body against hers, his hands on her face, it all made her ache for more. Ali wanted him to possess her like no other man had ever done. She wanted to be a part of him and meld with him, but damn she shouldn’t let it happen.
God, Ali, stop it. A glass or two of champagne and a brush up against his hard body and she had completely abandoned her plans. No kissing, no Johnny, no men, she chanted these words as she slowly pulled away. “Johnny…”
“I can help if you let me…” He leaned to kiss her again.
Ali pushed on his chest, hard this time. “I don’t need your help—or pity.” She spun in his arms, but he held her close, keeping his hands on her waist and their bodies touching.
“Pity—woman, what are you talking about?” His breath brushed the back of her neck, giving her goosebumps.
“Help me,” she said making quotation marks with her fingers. “Like I need some pity lay. Go to hell, Johnny!” She shrugged away from him.
“That’s some pretty foul language coming from such a classy lady.”
Ali tried to focus on her breathing and not on the sensation his hands left on her body. “You should go.”
“Do you think I’m here because I pity you?—Good lord, you have no idea.” Johnny paced away from her, his breathing hitched too.
She turned enough to get a glimpse of his face, it was red and his mouth turned into a frown.
“I haven’t had a moment free of you in two months. Every thought I’ve had has included you.” After a long moment of silence he said, “It’s clear you haven’t given me so much as a second thought.” He turned and walked passed her, out of the kitchen and toward the front door.
“You’re wrong,” she muttered. “That’s not true.” Her voice grew louder.
His footsteps stopped in the hall.
She waited, stuck between wanting him to keep going and wanting him to come back. “I didn’t know—” She stopped at the sound of her own weak voice. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”
The loud, hard, fast clicking of his boot heels on the wood floor made her heart skip a beat. Johnny rushed at her, backing her into the fridge, his fingers gripping her long blonde hair.
With gritted teeth he said, “I swear to God you drive me crazy.”
Bad choices may rule her life…but at that moment, she didn’t care. She was equally crazy about him and the feel of him against her.
He devoured her mouth, and at the same time mumbled, “Let me show you how much I want you.” He slid his hands down and tugged at her sweater until her shoulders were bare. “I’ve waited…and wanted.” Teeth grazed her bare skin and he fisted her dress as if to keep from touching her.
When the rush of air escaped her lungs, he lowered his body, pressing her harder. She felt him fully as he rubbed up against her.
“I haven’t…I haven’t stopped thinking about you either. I swear, Johnny. I’m so sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”
The sound of her voice seemed to bring him to his senses. He rested his forehead against hers. “You hurt me when you pretend this doesn’t matter—and damn it, I fucking know it matters to you just as much—”
“Shut up and take me upstairs.”
He grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the stairs. The time it took to get to the bedroom gave her brain a chance to contemplate what she’d done.
She’d tried like hell to forget him after coming home from Hawaii, but never could. Their night together had only given her more to regret over the last two months. She didn’t regret being with him, just the opposite and that confused her more. Now he was here and he wanted her.
Johnny pulled her into the bedroom then turned and faced her. Their eyes met, but they didn’t move for several seconds. This was her chance to back out if she wanted. He was, just then, giving her a moment to consider the situation, but she didn’t want to stop.
When the moment was over, he drew her closer, taking without permission, possessing her, just like she wanted. His hands were torturous, their movements controlled chaos, driving her over the edge. The gentle way he slid her dress straps off her shoulders and the easy caress of his lips on her skin.
Ali tugged on his shirt, not nearly as in command of her breathing as he was his. She didn’t have the patience to wait, she made the decision and she wanted him now.
Johnny kissed his way across her collarbone to the other bare shoulder while his hands searched for a zipper. The dress loosened as he slid the zipper down. She wiggled her way free and let the dress drop to the floor at her feet.
His hands became more frantic as they traveled her bare skin. Ali wanted that too; the heat of his chest under her hands. She gripped the hem of his shirt and lifted as he ducked his head free.
Her gaze wouldn’t break from the view in front of her. His broad chest was chiseled and hard, warm, smooth and oh so inviting. She touched him, her eyes following the motion of her hands as if she’d never seen anything like it.
When his fingers pinched the hard nubs of her nipples, the trance was broken and she gasped at the sensation. His hands, his fingers moving over her breast sent Ali into a spiral of longing, making her dizzy with it.
She arched toward him as he leaned over and took her nipple in his mouth, the hot wetness pulled a moan from her throat and when his teeth grazed her, she whimpered like a child. His hands cupped her breast and held them as he continued to suckle her. Ali’s knees began to shake. She couldn’t take much more while standing up.
As if he could hear her thoughts, he lifted her off her feet and let her wrap her legs around his waist. He carried her to the bed and sat down, his mouth taking hers, her hands gripping his hair.
“God you feel so good…you taste so good.” Johnny rolled her over onto the mattress and kicked off his jeans.
Ali reached out for him, seeking the heat and wanting to explore every inch. When he came over her, her hands made contact before traveling down his chest and around to his lower back.
He brushed kisses down to the hollow between her breasts then trailed down her stomach, to her navel. His fingers linked around her delicate panties and he carefully slid them down over her hips and passed her toes. She shivered with anticipation and for the life of her, didn’t know where he found the patience to move so slowly.
“Ali, sweet Alison…I can’t wait to taste you.”
The sound of his voice alone nearly broke her. He kissed her knee then the inside of her thigh as his hand traveled between her legs. With the first gentle brush of his finger, she lifted off the bed, ready to let go at the slightest touch.
He nipped his way up until his tongue found her sweet spot. She would surely explode if he kept that up. “J… Johnny.” She fought for control, but he kept pushing and pushing until she couldn’t hold back. A cry broke through her lips, she went taut, her core coiling like a tight spring, and she broke apart with the force of the orgasm.
Johnny traveled back up to her stomach, kissing her navel again and nipping her breast, heating her blood, and bringing her right back to the beginning.
She grabbed his hips and lifted herself to him, her nails gripping him, holding on. “Oh God John… I…” She opened her eyes and stared into his so intently she got lost in their depth.
He entered her, slowly at first, teasing her.
“Please John…please”
He pushed harder and deeper and Ali nearly lost it again. She’d almost forgotten what it felt like to lose herself in another person, so sweetly, so fully. Being with him in Hawaii had always felt like a dream, but this was no dream. He
was here, real, and hard, and tender, and still staring at her with such intensity she wanted to weep.
She cried out again, then tensed and arched against him, her lower lip getting caught between her teeth as she fought for closure.
Her body tightened again and pure satisfaction swept her. A moment later it was his breath on her cheek as he cried her name.
He gently lowered himself next to her and slid his hand up her sweaty body to cup her face, holding her, cheek to cheek until he lifted to look into her eyes.
Panic rose in his chest as he lay there with her. He couldn’t reconcile the feelings welling up inside him. He’d never been in love like this before and the realization scared him senseless. This could only lead him to heartbreak. Ali wasn’t ready for this or for him and he didn’t want just another one-night-stand.
Listening to their synchronized heartbeats, he felt for the first time in his life like he knew someone better then he knew himself. He had memorized every inch of her, every freckle, every curve, and every one of her smiles. Which only made his feelings more powerful.
“How do you feel?” he finally asked.
“I imagine my feelings are pretty similar to yours. How do you feel?”
“You don’t want to know how I feel…and I don’t think our feelings are that similar.” He chuckled, knowing she wouldn’t get the joke. It was much too early to tell her he loved her, even if it was true. “But I didn’t plan this when I came over here today, regardless of what I said at lunch.” His voice lowered and he felt like a child in trouble. “I hope you’re not upset with me.”
This time she chuckled. “I am far from upset.” Her voice went serious. “Is that why you won’t tell me how you’re feeling…is it regret?”
“No—oh hell no.” He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her face to his. “Absolutely not, I told you I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the last time we were together.” He gave her a tender kiss. “I didn’t—and still don’t want to pressure you. I just sorta lost my head, once I started touching you I couldn’t stop.”