by Dana Mason
“No, a father would have been here for the last four months.”
“Fighting with him will only make things worse. He’s a manipulator—always turns himself into the victim. You’re better off staying away from him.”
“I can’t let him come around here. I won’t let him come near Micah again…or Ali.”
Mark shook his head and Johnny wanted to smack the expression off his face. “It’s not up to you, Johnny.”
“The hell it isn’t.”
“I’m almost ready,” Ali said stepping into the room behind Johnny carrying a suitcase. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing,” Mark said. “Don’t carry those. Johnny and I will load them into your car in the garage, that’ll keep the press from seeing your bags. It’s better to keep them guessing.”
“Thank you…okay, I need a few more things of Micah’s,” she said and rushed back out of the room.
“Johnny, you need to chill out. You’re doing exactly what Carl wants you to do. Take a deep breath and relax.”
“I’m fine as long as he stays away.”
They arrived at Mark’s house, and Ali couldn’t help but feel like she was on Mars. The house was so large yet so warm and inviting. She’d been there before, but never explored the rooms.
Sarah couldn’t have been a more gracious hostess. She gave Ali a full tour of the house.
“Sarah, thank you so much for having us,” Ali said when they stepped into the guest room. “I hope Mark discussed this with you before he made the invitation.”
“Yes.” Her eyes grew wide and she said, “We talked about it this morning. We were both worried about you staying alone over there with the press camped out on your lawn. I know how intrusive they can be.”
“Are you worried this will cause them to start following you again?”
Sarah shrugged. “They’re over it. I’m a pregnant, married woman now with a pretty boring life.” She smiled wide and said, “I love that, but they hate it.”
Ali envied her smile. She’d give anything to have a normal life again. Have her sons home and feel good…comfortable. Even with Micah home and safe, she felt fearful. “This is good for Jamie. He’s so insecure now with the kidnapping. He just sort of stares at Micah like he might disappear.”
“Hum…” Sarah said, “That’s true for all of you. Johnny and you both do that too.”
Ali chuckled, “I guess that’s true.”
Sarah sat on the bed, placing a hand on her protruding belly. “I imagine having a child stolen would make anyone uneasy. It’ll take some time for things to return to normal.”
Ali smiled politely, not sure what else to say. Before Micah’s kidnapping, she could’ve never understood what having a child missing felt like. Now it was ingrained within her permanently. This gross feeling of powerlessness had seeped into her and was something she’d never forget, like losing a parent, or graduating from college, getting married…or giving birth. It had become a part of her personality, part of her life’s resume whether she wanted it to or not.
She looked around the room and took a deep breath. Sarah’s guest room was so relaxing. The antique furniture and beach house like setting with sea blues and greens was so perfect. Ali wouldn’t be surprised if she looked out of the white plantation blinds to find the beach even though it wasn’t possible. “This is a beautiful room, Sarah.”
“Thank you. It’s one of my favorites too. I wanted it to feel like an escape.” She grinned wide and said, “Would you like to see the nursery?”
Sarah and Mark’s sprawling 6 bedroom ranch style house sat on a huge lot with a gated and secure entry. The family room, kitchen and dining room were open to each other with custom woodworking up the walls and ceiling. Between the thick ceiling beams, domed skylights let the sun in to brighten the space.
They passed Jamie’s room on the way to the nursery. Ali had seen his room before, but this time it was much cleaner than last. She snickered and thought maybe Mark forced him to clean it up, knowing she’d be over. Jamie wasn’t a neat child. He definitely took after his dad on that front. When clean, his room gleamed with bright high gloss paint in reds, greens, and blues. The primary colors were so vibrant and cheerful.
Sarah guided her into the nursery and Ali’s stomach fluttered at the beautiful bright room. A girl. Sarah was having a girl. Ali was a little envious of that, even though she’d never admit it. “Wow…it’s so beautiful, Sarah.” Ali walked over to the window, her feet drifting on the plushest carpet she’d ever seen. She picked up the hem of the curtain and rubbed the fabric between her fingers. They were cross stitched with hundreds of little daisies, obviously handmade.
“Thank you! I really love it too.” She beamed.
“I’m so happy for you two,” Ali grinned too. “And I’ve never seen Mark so happy.”
Sarah’s cheeks pinked. “Thanks. We’re both really excited.” Her smile faded a little and she said, “I guess I’ll let you get settled in.” She turned back down the hall and when she passed the room directly next to the guest room, she pointed. “Johnny’s sleeping in Mark’s office. He didn’t think you’d want to share a room with Jamie across the hall, but he wants to be close to you and Micah…he was okay with the futon…so he’s your neighbor.”
“Sorry he’s such a sourpuss right now,” Ali said. “Carl stopped by while I was home alone this morning and Johnny is none too pleased.”
Sarah chuckled and lifted her eyebrows. “Well…they all seem pretty convinced that Carl had something to do with Micah’s abduction.”
“I don’t know, Sarah. Kidnapping?” Ali said. “He didn’t want Micah, why would he have someone kidnap him?”
“You’re asking the wrong person.” She met Ali’s eyes and said, “I don’t have as high of an opinion of Carl as you do. From what I’ve seen, he’s capable of anything, and Johnny has already lost too much in life to take your safety for granted.”
Ali bowed her head and nodded. “I’m sorry. I hope you understand I’m not defending Carl. There’s no excuse for what he did to you.”
“And to you,” Sarah said, pointing at her. “Don’t forget he’s already hurt you, Jamie and Micah once. He’s a manipulator and men like him never change.”
“You’re right. I know that.” Ali shrugged. “It just feels like an easy out…blaming him for the kidnapping. I don’t want to forget there might be a real threat out there lurking about, waiting to hurt my family.”
Sarah’s eyes grew wide. “And what makes you believe Carl isn’t a real threat?”
And what makes me believe Carl isn’t a real threat. Ali thought about that for a few seconds, and realized he’d manipulated her and blackmailed her twice within the last week. Why wouldn’t she consider Carl a real threat? But…she’d been married to him, knew him better than anyone. Besides being manipulative, he wasn’t dangerous, he’d never hurt her physically. She nodded in agreement anyway. Sarah had every right to feel this way about Carl and Ali couldn’t argue the point. “I should be careful of anyone when it comes to my children.”
Sarah reached out and took Ali’s hand. “You’re going to be fine, and the boys are fine. You just need a little time to get back to normal.” She gave Ali a warm smile and turned to leave. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Ali started unpacking her things into the empty dresser drawers, placing Micah’s things into the top. She unfolded his sleeper—her favorite—and brought it to her nose, smiling. She was one lucky mother. How many mothers had been through what she’d been through and never seen their child again. She closed her eyes and suppressed a shudder.
When she opened her eyes, Johnny was standing in the doorway, watching her. She grinned, but when he didn’t return it. The smiled slipped from her face.
She turned to place the folded sleeper in the drawer. “I wish you would stop brooding and just be happy he’s home.”
“Oh, I am very happy he’s home, and I’m ecstatic that we’re all here together and that y’all are safe.”
“You’re clamming up. Just tell me if you’re mad. Talk to me.”
“No…” He ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes. “No, I’m not clamming up. You’re the one with the secret. You should be the one talking.”
Ali threw her hands in the air and said, “I’m not keeping any secrets. I just don’t want to fight with you while we have an audience.”
“Why are you assuming we’re going to fight? Am I always that unreasonable?”
She glanced up at him through lowered lashes. “Carl wants to set up some visitation with Micah.”
“What?” He violently shook his head. “Hell no—absolutely not!”
“I have to consider it.”
He leaned forward and got right in her face. “No, you don’t!”
“He doesn’t want to take him anywhere, but he wants a few hours a week—supervised.”
“He’s fucking playing you like a piano, don’t you see that? He’s doing it to get close to you, not Micah.”
“No, that’s pointless. He knows I would never take him back.”
“You’re getting closer everyday aren’t you?”
She stepped back. “No! Don’t be ridiculous!”
“If you’re willing to let the scumbag around Micah then it’s true. You are getting closer to forgiving him every day.”
“Johnny, that’s not true. Don’t be like that.” She stepped closer to him, reaching out for him, wanting to feel his hands on her body. She didn’t like the distance growing between them. “You have no reason to be jealous. I don’t want Carl. I want to be with you.”
He glared at her. “Don’t change the subject.”
“I’m not. That’s what you said, Carl wants me not Micah. “Is this about you and me—or you and Micah?”
He gripped the belt loops of her jeans and pulled her to him. “Both, damn it! You, Micah and Jamie are a package deal. I know that, Ali.”
She lowered her eyes to his chest and said, “Carl threatened to file for joint custody if I don’t let him see Micah. He doesn’t want me, its Micah he cares about.”
Johnny gritted his teeth. “That doesn’t make me feel better! I don’t want him near the kids any more than I want him near you.”
“He won’t hurt Micah.”
Johnny tugged the belt loops harder. “Woman, are you blind? Don’t you see what he did?”
“Johnny, you can’t seriously believe Carl is the mastermind behind Micah’s kidnapping.”
“I have no doubt in my mind. Just like I have no doubt he is trying to use Micah to get close to you again.”
“You must really think I’m stupid and so easily manipulated.” She pushed on his chest to get out of his grip. “What—you associate blonde hair with stupid?”
He scoffed. “Of course not, don’t say that.”
“Then trust me a little. Have some faith in me. I know it’s a reach, but if you want this to work you’re going to have to be a little more flexible.”
His eyes grew dark and haunted. “Don’t threaten me, Ali. You know I have faith in you.”
A disappointing ache surged through her. She closed her eyes and turned away from him, unable to pretend she didn’t know what he was thinking.
“Ali…do you believe me when I say that?”
She shook her head, unable to turn back to look at him. “No, Johnny. I don’t. Actions speak louder than words.”
He laid a hand on her shoulder and leaned against her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry you don’t believe me…” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his cheek on her head. “What can I do?”
“Stop this and stop brooding. I want to be happy now with Micah back, but you’re making it seriously hard with your crappy attitude.” Ali turned in his arms and said, “Don’t let Carl ruin this for us. He’s not worth it.”
“It scares me that I don’t know what he is capable of…and it scares me even more to think about losing you.”
“You won’t lose me.” She brushed a tender kiss on his lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He was interrupted by a cry from the portable crib. Johnny let her go and they both walked over to look down at Micah.
“Hi, sweetpea.” She leaned down to pick him up.
Johnny rubbed his head. “Sorry, little man, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
Ali bounced him, trying to sooth him. “It’s time for him to get up anyway.” Micah stretched the sleep from his body, his little fist gripping Johnny’s index finger.
Johnny rubbed his thumb over the soft little knuckles and said, “It drives me crazy not knowing where he was for all those days.”
“I wish more than anything he could tell me. I hate to think of him alone and scared.”
“He’s hardly cried since he’s been home.”
“That’s because of you.” Ali smiled. “He’s always happy around you.”
Johnny watched him with a wistful expression and said, “…I wish…”
She placed a finger on his chin and turned him to her. “What do you wish for?”
Johnny didn’t say anything for a moment then he smiled at her. “Nothing, I don’t wish for anything. Everything I want is right here.”
On Thursday, Ali and Sarah were sitting in the kitchen when Mark came in from picking Jamie up from school. “Good News.” He smiled wide. “The camera crews are gone from in front of your house.
“Do you think it’s safe for me to go home tonight?” Ali asked him.
“Maybe tomorrow, it wouldn’t hurt to wait one more day.”
“We shouldn’t rush it,” Sarah said. “I wouldn’t want for them to get home just to be surrounded by the press again.”
“They’ve shifted to harassing the police about the case more than harassing Ali. Brian has asked them repeatedly to stop bothering the family. Maybe they finally got the hint.”
“Have they given you any significant updates on the case?” Ali asked.
“No, they haven’t shared anything new with me.” He frowned and said, “When do you go back to work?”
“I start at the District Attorney’s office on June first.”
“The DA’s office, I thought you worked in San Francisco?” Sarah said.
“Jeffery Kaiser offered me a job in his office. I jumped at the chance to work in town. I hate commuting.”
“What are you going to do about childcare?” Mark asked.
“Hire a nanny…” Ali’s heart accelerated at the thought. “I hate the idea of leaving Micah.”
“Maybe you need a little more security.”
“Why? Do you have any agent-slash-nannies for hire?” Ali snorted out a laugh. “Think Shane wants to change diapers and guard my infant son?”
Mark frowned. He could never take a joke when it came to safety, she knew that, but she snickered again anyway.
“I thought maybe a security agent and a nanny.”
“I’m going to have a hard enough time affording a nanny, much less paying for both.”
“Why can’t you afford a nanny? You make plenty of money.”
“I did—until I went out on maternity leave early knowing my wonderful husband could support me, and then I took several extras months off after Micah’s birth to deal with my divorce.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t have Carl helping with the mortgage anymore and I won’t receive another paycheck until I go back to work…and the DA’s office doesn’t pay what I was making at a private firm.”
“Do you need help?” Mark as
ked.
“No, I can manage. I just won’t have much of a savings by the time I go back to work. Carl is paying child support, but that will only cover the nanny.”
“Why don’t you put the house on the market…look for something a little smaller? Prices are good right now. I can’t imagine you want to stay there now.” Mark said.
Ali felt a pang in her chest thinking about leaving Mark in their huge house alone after their divorce. He understood perfectly because he went through the same thing when she left him. She looked away from him so he wouldn’t see the guilt in her eyes.
“Having your house pictured on the news for two weeks has to have diminished your security. Everyone in town knows you’re a single mother living alone.”
She looked at him quickly. “I didn’t consider that. Do you think I should worry?”
“Not with Johnny around,” Sarah said.
“Johnny won’t always be around…he doesn’t live with me.”
“Maybe he should,” Mark said.
“I’m not moving Johnny in for security reasons.”
“Sorry.” He held up his hands. “Maybe I misunderstood the relationship. I thought you two were serious.”
“I’m trying to take things slow. I don’t want to rush into anything again.”
“You can’t compare Johnny with Carl,” Sarah said. “Johnny is a better man, and he’ll be a better father to Micah and a better…everything.”
“I agree. This isn’t a reflection on him at all, Sarah. I just keep going from one to another to another…I love Johnny, but I don’t want to make any mistakes.”
“What if while trying to avoid mistakes you’re actually making the biggest one by holding him back?” Mark said.
“Either way, I can’t rush into a deep involvement with Johnny. If he can’t give me a few months to get myself together then he doesn’t really want this.” Ali closed her eyes for a minute to take a ragged breath. “Just because you two found each other and came together in such a short time doesn’t mean it will work for me.” She gestured between the two do them. “This doesn’t just happen—especially not to me.”