by JL Davis
Brooke puts her hand on my arm gently. “I didn’t mean anything by what I said. I guess it’s more of an inside joke. I’m truly sorry,” she says, her eyes showing regret.
I haven’t been able to think since she began touching my arm. Yeah, it’s just my arm, but it’s much more according to my now racing heart. “Hey, it’s okay. I guess I need to get used to being looked at in that way; as a criminal. I want to be better than that and I will be, just know that.” I nod and give her a tight smile and walk away.
I didn’t give her a chance to reply. I didn’t want her to see that she affected me. There’s a possibility a tear might even fall. I can feel the burn in my nose as I try to fight back emotions I don’t need to be having in a gym full of sweaty men. Where are my balls? I’ll check on them while I’m in the locker room changing out of my gym clothes.
I don’t want this label that I now have following me forever. I don’t know that it will be. I honestly don’t know much about the criminal system. I might as well have a felon tattoo on my forehead. It’s just a label, but I will be more, much more than that. I will be someone, someone who another someone can be happy and proud to be with, proud to call me theirs. I want someone who will be proud of the man I become.
Brooke is sitting on a bench in front of the locker rooms as I walk out. “Please, Cole, you have to believe me. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please accept my apology.”
I step forward, closing the distance between us and stare into her eyes and whisper, “I would if you had apologized.”
She doesn’t take a step back from me. “Cole, I’m sorry. Please forgive me?” She bats her lashes. Brooke has long eyelashes. I’m not sure if they’re hers or not, but I really like them.
“Thank you. That wasn’t that hard was it?” I smile. “I’ll see you next week. Please don’t follow me.” I joke and walk toward the door.
I know it was hard for her to apologize. I bet she thought she had me all figured out before I ever walked into her office that first day. I get why she’s like that, I guess. I just don’t know her well enough. Yet.
I can’t stop thinking about how unbelievably ignorant I was while I was with Cole just a few moments ago. He left before I could catch him. He didn’t deserve the way I treated him, and I don’t think he really accepted my apology either. I feel horrible.
I’m now on my way downtown for dinner with my dearest friend, Mya, who is also Cole’s therapist. Maybe she can help me out with him. She is his counselor after all. I know she can’t say anything that’s talked about in their sessions, but maybe she can give me some insight to how he works. Maybe she can give me something I can use to get him to forgive me.
I have to walk two blocks to get to the restaurant after parking my car. It bothers me leaving my Land Rover in this sketchy lot, but I’ll take the risk. Two blocks are worth it to me and many other people as I catch up to a group on their way into the restaurant. Many homeless people work this street and I don’t like to be alone if I can help it, especially at night.
I walk inside and glance around the dimly lit room in search of Mya. It’s extremely busy on Friday nights. She and I love it here. There are orchid paintings on the walls with lighting behind them, giving an elegant, glowing affect. It’s very relaxing.
“Brooke!” I hear her yell for me. I scan the room and see her waving her freaking arm off for me. I shake my head and giggle as I walk over to the table.
“You look ridiculous, Mya.” I laugh and take a seat.
“As do you. Why the pantsuit? Was I not good enough for you that you couldn’t even change for our date? I got you a sweet tea,” Mya says overexaggerating.
“Thanks, and sorry.” I look down at myself. “I got held up at the gym. You’ll never guess who I saw there earlier.” I roll my eyes.
“Cole,” Mya says flatly. “I know,” she says it as if I should’ve known, as if it were old news. “He mentioned getting a membership when we spoke. Oops. I shouldn’t have told you that.” She grins mischievously. I wish I could read her mind. I’m sure by now they’ve even spoken about me.
“You’re such a bitch.” I then stick my finger in her glass of water.
“Gross. I don’t know where your fingers have been.” She puts her hand over her mouth and glances around the room to see just how far her little voice had carried. It looks like we’re safe just past two tables out.
“A little louder, maybe? I don’t think they heard you in the back, Mya.”
“Sorry,” she whispers.
“I need your help. I kind of said some things to Cole at the gym that may have been judgmental, and I definitely offended him. He may have even left angry with me.” I glance between her and the napkin I’m currently rolling between my fingers.
“You didn’t! Ah, Brooke. What did you say?” she asks sympathetically, but I can sense her irritation as well. I hope she doesn’t have feelings for him. It’s not that I care. I just don’t want her to jeopardize her career. She’s worked really hard to get where she is and at such a young age too.
“I may have insinuated that I wear pantsuits only to put off my… uh… parolees and that kind of categorized him with them ya know? I didn’t mean it. Well, I did mean it as I said it. I just should have thought it through first.” I sigh and fall back against the back of my chair.
“Maybe apologize, Brooke. Did you?” She rolls her lips into her mouth as if she were keeping it shut on purpose.
“I know it’s hard to believe, but I did apologize. It was even genuine. I don’t know what else I can do.” I shrug. “I can’t get this involved. I’ve upset them before and didn’t bat an eye. Why is this bothering me so much?” I look over at Mya and she is now as red as the candle that’s is on our table. “What?”
“You like him!” Mya squeals. “That poor bastard.” She giggles.
“No, I don’t. Don’t be ridiculous.” I wave her accusation off. She’s bat shit crazy. I can’t possibly like Cole. “He’s not my type. He’s on parole, Mya. I could never get involved with him. Not to mention, my parents would freak the hell out.”
“Sounds to me like you’re trying to give yourself reasons not to like him. You have to admit he’s hot. He seems to be a sweet guy under that wannabe tough exterior. Not that he’s not all man. He is. I just think there’s more to him than he allows just anyone to see,” Mya states matter of factly.
My face hardens. “Have you…”
“No. Are you okay, Brooke? How can you ask me that? I could lose my job.” She frowns.
“I don’t know. It’s like since he waltzed into my office, I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s frustrating and it’s pissing me off. I don’t want to be attracted to him at all,” I huff.
“It’s frustrating and pissing you off because you need to get laid. How long has it been again?” She giggles.
“Fuck you.” I throw a piece of my napkin that I’d balled up at her.
“See how desperate you are? I’m not interested, Brooke. I am flattered, though,” she blows me a kiss.
“I hate you,” I lie.
Our favorite little waitress, Hoi, comes over to our table. She’s the sweetest person. Her English isn’t very good, and I think that’s one of our favorite things about coming here. We don’t make fun of her. She’s a funny woman and does it on purpose. She reminds me of how the service is at a hibachi grill. They always make it fun. She gives us each a sushi card and pencil. It’s more of a sheet with the large selection they offer.
“No man again girls. Shame. Shame. You need man. Leave her home next time. Ya.” She nods toward Mya and giggles.
I die laughing. “I think she’s saying you’re holding me back, Mya,” I joke.
“By all means, I can sit at the bar and watch you work your magic.” She arches a brow, daring me to do just that.
“Oh, no… Girls enjoy. I be right back to get order.” She nods and walks away.
Mya glares at me. “How dare you.” She snubs her nose at me.
“I was only joking. Don’t get your panties twisted.” I roll my eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”
“Hey. I resent that you whore.”
“Ha! You wish. I’d make you look better if I were. Don’t hate on me because I’m a good girl.”
“You’re a prude. That’s what you are.” She nods proud of her comeback.
“Weak. That was so weak. Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m friends with such a slut.” I giggle.
“Shut up. I am not. I can’t help it I fall for every man I have sex with.” She shrugs.
“It’s more like you fuck every man you meet and then fall for his magical dick stick,” I whisper looking around us for eavesdroppers.
“Lady, you ready?” Hoi smiles.
I hand her my sheet and then she takes Mya’s. “Anything else for you?” she asks, looking between Mya and me.
“We’re good. Thank you, Hoi.” I smile.
A short time later our platters of sushi arrive at the table. It’s the most magnificent food art you’ve ever seen and tastes as good as it looks. It’s almost a shame to ruin the beauty as I take a bite of my California roll.
Mya and I chat a bit about work, as much as we’re legally allowed to. She speaks very highly of Cole and makes me see him that much more as a normal person instead of the felon that was assigned to me.
As we walk outside to our cars, Mya grabs my hand to stop me. “Please, if there’s ever a time there could be more between you and Cole, take that chance. Okay? I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised, Brooke. There’s more to him than what you see. Just trust me with this one.” She looks into my eyes, as serious as she can be.
“Are you going to kiss me?” I ask, concerned, and then a laugh escapes.
“I’m serious, Brooke. You’ll be sorry if you don’t. You also know that your shit’s going to dry up soon.” She nods down toward my crotch.
“I hate you so much.” I shake my head. “I love you. Bye,” I say dramatically and walk away. “Thanks for dinner,” I yell over my shoulder even though I paid. I’m just messing with her.
“Bye. I know you’re lying,” she yells back.
I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so upset. I get it. I’m a felon, a con, a criminal, but I do not deserve to be treated as Brooke had treated me. I felt like scum. She made me feel like I was no better than a thief or a murderer.
I do understand that it must be agitating dealing with the same morons every day. They make the same mistakes over and over again. I on the other hand, do not. I made a single mistake. Granted, it was bad. Really bad. I’ll never do anything like that again. I’ll never do anything illegal or morally wrong for the rest of my life, so help me God.
On my way to work, I receive a text alert from one of the supervisors. It looks like the CEO will be in the warehouse today to oversee the heart of daily operations and we’re to be on our toes and work to the best of our ability. I have no problem with that. Nothing could make me slack off or screw up in any way. I may not have been there long, but I can do just about every job in the warehouse, but I’m not bragging.
I walk into the warehouse and clock in as I normally do. I look around and see a few of the workers gathered in my work area. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’m about to find out.
As I approach them, I see someone sitting at my table and going through my drawers.
“How are there no pens? How can you work without the proper tools?” a woman says angrily.
“Hi, I’m Cole and this is my station. I don’t usually need a pen to perform.” I try not to sound cocky but I’m afraid it was.
She turns toward the sound of my voice. When I finally see her face, I’m quite surprised. “Cole! Is that you?” she asks.
I can’t believe Maggie remembers me. I didn’t know that she even knew who I was back then, and to remember me now is shocking. “Uh, yeah. I mean, yes, ma’am.” Crap. Great first impression.
“Wow, you haven’t changed much have you? You’re finally legal, though, aren’t you?” She giggles. That was painful. Her giggle sounds like a hawk that’s being tortured. I don’t remember it being like that when we were kids. As I look at her, I wonder what I saw in her. I don’t see it. Boys.
“I guess so. I’m all grown up now.” I shift in place, uncomfortable as she looks me over like a lion looks at raw meat before he devours it in one bite.
“Yesss. Yes, you are. I also notice you’re not married. Too bad. I’m not happily married if that appeals to you?” she says, before she stands and walks away. The other workers around us don’t seem to be bothered by her antics or anything she’d said before she left.
Some of the guys give me a jab in the shoulder or mock me about Maggie. One gives me a warning that she is, in fact, an adulterer. She wasn’t joking. I was told her poor husband is and idiot and basically oblivious to any of her horrible behavior. He sounds like an enabler to me. That’s just my opinion. He should just let her go already. How can you continue to love, to support someone like that? It’s quite sad. It wouldn’t take much to upgrade. Maggie seems to be fake and all talk. I bet she’s miserable inside about her looks and her secret life. I’d never waste my time with her. I’d never be that desperate.
My childhood crush has been crushed. I guess I can let that fantasy go now. I really hope I don’t have to associate with her anymore today, or ever for that matter. She’s a she-devil in disguise.
Life was on my side. She left and I luckily didn’t have to interact with her at all throughout the rest of the day. She did leave her card with Jim to give to me and I threw it away. I know I’ll never need it or her. Jim gave me a weird look when he gave it to me and that was extremely uncomfortable. I’m not sure if it was a warning look or one of disgust, because he knows of his sister’s ways by the looks of things.
“If you would, I’d appreciate it if I don’t have to deal with your sister anymore.” I shake my head.
“Yeah, sorry, man. She comes on strong with everyone. Don’t take it too personally. I don’t understand her, or why she’s the way she is. Her husband is a good guy. He cooks, cleans, takes care of their girls, and treats her well. I know her weight is a huge issue for her and only her. It’s all in her head and she needs to feel wanted. She throws herself at anyone who will give her some attention for a short time. I hate it for her. She ruins lives and relationships all the time. She’s a terrible person and should be truly ashamed to look in the mirror each day, but she does and continues to be that way, unaffected. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself. Not even those girls make her want to be a better person.”
“Sorry, man.” I shake my head.
Well that proves it. They have children. Girls at that. Hopefully with their father, and possibly, their grandmothers, they’ll have a chance to be real women.
“It’s okay. I gave up on her a long time ago. It’s a good thing she does well with the company, or I’d have disowned her by now. No offense taken,” Jim half-laughs. It’s sort of an awkward moment.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, man,” I say as I clock out for the day.
“I really appreciate your hard work, Cole. Keep it up.” He nods.
On my way home, I wanted to stop by the gym and work out, but I felt the need to get home and shower. Having Maggie’s hands on me today made me feel used and cheap.
After my shower, I feel so much better and refreshed. I walk into the kitchen in search of something for dinner when the doorbell rings.
I peek through the curtains to see who’s at my door, but I can’t see an. I yonesigh and open the door. “Brooke. What are you doing here?” I ask, confused. “Did I do something wrong?”
Brooke pushes the door open and walks past me without an invitation. “No. I did, and I’ve come with a peace offering.” She lifts the bag in the air to show me. “I hope you like bacon cheeseburgers and greasy fries.” She sets the bag on the table.
Before she takes anything out of the bag, I grab her arm to get her attenti
on. “Brooke, you didn’t need to do this.” I grimace.
She pulls away. “I did. I do. I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. I probably shouldn’t be here with food either, but I didn’t know what else to do.” I can hear her voice tremble at the end. I feel bad for her. It’s obvious that she doesn’t hurt people often and sure doesn’t do the apology thing often.
“I’ll admit, it hurt being compared to criminals, Brooke, but it’s true. One stupid mistake and I’m labeled for the rest of my life, most likely. I regret it every day.” My stare is too much for her. She breaks eye contact and sucks her bottom lip into her mouth.
“I believe you, Cole. I also believe that everyone can change for the better. Everyone can be a better person. They need the right reasons to get there is all.” Her lips curve upward slightly.
I wonder what those lips would feel like against mine. I wonder what it would feel like with my hand tangled in her long, brown hair and her lips around my dick while she’s going down on me. I have to get these thoughts of her out of my mind. “Let’s start over.” I smile. “I’m Cole. Let’s have dinner together since you’re here, the foods here, and I’m here.” I wink.
Brooke contemplates what I’ve just said. I guess once it registers, she smiles, nods, and holds her hand out. “Brooke. Nice to meet you.” She furrows her brow a moment before she puts the food on the table for us. “So, how was work today?” She glances up from her food and bites into a fry. My eyes travel down to her full, pouty lips. They’d look so good wrapped around my dick. I have to stop thinking of her like that.
“Honestly?” I chuckle. I’m not sure how to even start.
“What? Did something happen?” She takes a sip from her straw. I wish I was that damn straw.
“It wasn’t anything I did. Let’s just say the CEO now has a thing for me.”
Brooke sits up a bit in her chair. “Really? How so?”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s jealous. “I made it known more than once I wasn’t interested. It didn’t seem to matter.” I shrug.