by Nora Cobb
He barely lifts his brow. “I’m sure you’re exaggerating, Vicki.” He knows 100 percent why Luna’s aunt won’t let her back here to finish shooting. The number one reason is standing in front of his desk, whining at him.
Minutes later, Theo uses his neon green marker to forge another pass for Dom’s car, and I hand the original to Silas. We’re off to Palm Springs in two separate cars, with all my equipment, minus the cinematography club. They weren’t invited because we have other plans. We need to talk in private about the dirty gossip. Chase drives with Dom and the equipment while I ride with Silas and Theo. When we cross into Palm Springs, I slide down in the back seat while Theo sits beside me, staring at his phone.
“Rhys could’ve come with us if you wanted him to,” I tell him, glancing over at his phone.
Theo tilts his lips. “He thinks he’s not welcome, and I asked him if he should be.”
I shrug my shoulders. “He’s your SO, and I guess we need to be okay with that.”
Theo looks away from his phone and glares at me, scrunched down below the window. “At least he’s not ashamed to be seen with me outside of Redwood, or did you drop an earring?”
“Both, you brat,” I tease. “Remember, Maya lives in Palm Springs, and with my shit luck, she probably lives on this street.”
The film segment I act in is shot, edited, and in the can. In the video, I walk through the forest dressed in a black gown with a hunter-green corset. My skin is powdered to look eerily pale, and my eyelids are painted lavender to the brow. I hesitate as I walk, listening for movement in the dark woods while I search for what I crave.
“You should act.” Silas holds my hand as we sit on the loveseat in Ghia’s sunroom. “You add depth to your betrayal with a subtle look. I can feel the fear.”
“That’s because I’m not acting.” I glance back at the screen, watching my image stumble over a fallen branch in the video.
He squeezes my hand, and I want to tell Silas that I admire what he did yesterday for Raquel. Telling her his own dark truths about abuse made her feel less remorseful that she didn’t know how to fight back. I think about an abusive experience I had in rehab. How can you fight back when you never expected that to happen to you? Something that you never even imagined. Silas knows that if Raquel tells his secret, it will ruin his career. The ignorant labels he’ll have placed on him by people who only know him from a photograph. I know who Silas is now, and I understand him.
“I feel a hole burning into the side of my head where you’re staring,” he says.
I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Sorry, but I can’t get over how hot you are. Can I have your autograph?”
Laughing, he tugs me into his lap. My lips lie against his, and we savor our kiss because we know a little more about each other. And I’m good with all of it. The page I saw flashes into my mind, and I wonder if the damaged parts are attracted to each other. I knew there was something, but I didn’t want to believe what I had read until he said it so plainly that I had to admit that I understood.
Luna stares down into the pool as I hold the camera aimed up toward her. Through the viewfinder, her pain is reflected in her melancholy eyes. I recognize it and squeeze the camera tightly in my grip as pain shoots through me, aimed at my heart.
We switch places, and I shoot her in the pool with her long dark hair fanning out around her as she gazes up into the lens. I’ll edit it as if she’s gazing at her own reflection. This is my best shot, and maybe things will start to turn around for all of us. Luna looks away, and she stares into the depths of the water. An alarm sounds, but only I can hear it in my head.
“Cut!” I shout. As if he heard my thoughts, Chase reaches out and helps Luna out of the pool, wrapping a towel around her. I’m relieved when she doesn’t shrink from his touch.
Ghia frowns at us in our swimsuits, as if we are using our project as an excuse to get into her pool. Always polite despite what she may think, she offers us iced tea and homemade sandwiches. Sunning ourselves, we take a break and discuss how we’re going to take down Talia. No wonder Ghia thinks we’re pampered and idle when she glances outside and sees us just talking.
“We have to brainstorm,” says Silas, pacing beside the pool. “Just say it, don’t judge it. So how do we get into Talia’s stuff?” Silas avoids saying the video though I’ve told Luna, and Theo knows whatever it is, it’s bad.
“Is she still staying with you, Theo?” asks Chase, sitting at a table by the pool.
“She comes and goes,” replies Theo, his legs dangling in the water. “She doesn’t trust me, but she’s drawn to Rhys. I’m boring in comparison.”
“That doesn’t make you jealous?” teases Luna, sitting beside him. Her old playfulness peeks out every once in a while in a teasing grin.
Theo smiles. “Rhys reassures me that he’s keeping on her good side because kindness is easier than force.”
“But phoniness is so distasteful,” quips Luna, “Don’t negate the power of a good hard slap.”
“So, she’s accessible,” says Silas, sitting with Chase. “And Rhys has access to her and her stuff.”
Theo nods. “He can get to her, and she wouldn’t question it.”
A simple plan is put in place. Theo knows that Rhys won’t be hurt, but he looks doubtful. Once again, I don’t question what I suspect will happen. But I can’t hide behind ignorance. I can’t keep saying, “It’s for Luna” as a defense. She wouldn’t have wanted Chase hurt at her expense, and never Dom. I saw what it did last time. And I can’t ignore that having control gives me pleasure. It makes me feel invincible in the same way I felt when I was five and climbed a tree. And when I fell down, I was reminded of my foolish decision in the most painful way.
Theo sits by himself as the others clean up the empty glasses and wet towels. We have an hour’s drive around the mountain and an hour before curfew. Everyone is on their phone, checking restricted sites. I sit down by Theo as he flips through his phone.
“Can we talk?” I ask.
“Sure.” But he doesn’t look up.
I hesitate, and then force the words out of my mouth. “I haven’t been much of a friend lately.”
His head shoots up, and his gaze widens on me. “I was just about to say the same thing to you, Vicki. I guess it’s hos before bros when it comes to us.”
I laugh. “You’re so corny, but you look happy in love.”
Theo smirks. “I look kept.” He tugs at his coiled curls. “I’ve spent my monthly stipend on product.” He shakes off the silliness. “Rhys trusts me, and it took a long time for me to trust him. I don’t know if deceit is a good thing for us.”
“Don’t do it then,” I tell him, “I’ll figure out another way.” I don’t have to fake my sincerity because it’s there in my eyes. I really don’t want another person fucked over for my sake. I have to start dealing with my own life without dragging everyone down to the lowest level. I’ll get back up again.
Theo smiles. “I appreciate it, but I don’t like Talia. I used to like her a lot. I thought we were alike. Rhys isn’t a bad person, but she’s a bad influence on him.”
“Theo, he’s an adult,” I argue. He gives me a sharp look, and I lean back, taking a breath. He really loves the boy.
“Rhys could be a good person,” he argues, “if she wasn’t fucking with his ego. If he’d listen to me, he’d be okay. He really is talented, and he doesn’t need a crutch to get along in life. Do we really need a mansion with a sports car? What’s wrong with settling for happiness?” He breaks our gaze and looks at his phone. “I might tell him, but I’m definitely helping you.”
Chapter Eighteen
Vicki
The simpler the plan, the better. In the end, Theo is honest with Rhys and tells him everything, placing trust in Rhys that I’d never expect. I watch them from my bedroom window, discussing the details while they stand at the edge of the woods, almost hidden by the pine trees. That’s what people have to do now if they want privacy at Redwood
.
They hike a short distance and hide behind the trees to talk or just to be alone. Security thinks we’re doing it so we can party without being caught, but that isn’t it at all. Secrets are now currency at Redwood. Kids are withdrawn, teachers are vague, and conversation is limited to greetings tagged with empty politeness. No one talks about anything too intimate, not even in a joking way. And it’s considered ignorant to ask what someone’s been up to.
The bullying has lost all its bite. No more smiling faces, telling me that I’m the slut for showing my face. We’re all sluts now. They’re running scared from Talia as she spills nasty secrets, and best friends turn into two-faced enemies overnight. That one slept with this one. This one sabotaged so and so’s final project so they’d fail. Talia’s thread is a daily must-read as she collects secrets that have been buried since freshman year.
Jagan tries once more to rope her in, but he has nothing useful on Talia. When I first met her, she was edgy, but the activism was just a pose. Her past is so clean; it’s like she never existed. In a sick way, Talia laps up the wickedest gossip to satisfy her curiosity about how others fuck up in life. I guess it makes her feel better. Isn’t that what gossip is for?
I can’t hear what Theo and Rhys are saying, but it ends with a kiss. I never thought I’d see that. Rhys caring about another person—wanting to help someone else without gaining a thing. Talia never lashes out at Rhys. His apathy intimidates her self-confidence, and she wants his attention badly. I step away from the window as they head toward the town houses. A few minutes later, the bell rings, and Theo is already at my door. Surprisingly, Rhys agreed to help and didn’t need much convincing from Theo.
“He’s taking her out to dinner,” he tells me, “Jagan gave them a special pass to stay out past curfew.”
“Is he taking her far?” I ask since neither one has a car. “The Bait Shop isn’t going to dazzle her.”
“Rhys is borrowing a Tesla,” replies Theo, “That’s the excuse. He wants to test drive it. He told her we’re fighting, and he wants to make me jealous by taking her out in it first.”
“What time are they leaving?” I ask.
“They’re leaving here around five,” replies Theo, “There’s a nice restaurant on the 10. So we’ll have two hours, maybe three.”
“And the most important question,” I stare into his eyes, “Why is he helping us?”
“Even the snake missed Eden.” Theo holds my gaze. “He loves me and hates her. She’s hurt a lot of people, Vicki. And though Rhys hasn’t been directly hit, he’s felt the change and doesn’t like it.”
My blackest clothing—a hoodie, T-shirt, and sweats—lies on the bed. I take a Sharpie and color in the soles on my Converse. My backpack has all the tools I need, including a “borrowed” key card that should open any door on campus. Theo picks it up and flips it over in his fingers.
“Who loaned you this?” he asks.
I take it out of his hands. “It’s better if you don’t know. You can guess, but I won’t tell.”
“That will be new around here.” He peeks into my black backpack. “I should go with you.”
I shake my head. “It’s safer if one person goes in and the rest of us watch from a distance. Silas will be by the window.”
Theo decides to make himself scarce and head over to the library to study. He doesn’t want to risk running into Talia. Not that he would ever talk, but one wrong look, and she may know that something’s wrong.
Theo sighs, heading for the door. “I have a feeling a lot of people will be watching and wishing you a lot of luck.”
At this point, everyone wants to get into Talia’s dorm room, but I’m the only one determined enough to actually do it. I unplug a cordless drill I bought for the occasion and shove it into my backpack along with a flashlight. There isn’t much else to do except wait for them to leave.
I lie on my bed and stare at the poster of Edie. My gaze traces the curve of her cheek as her wide eyes look back at me. All the things that have happened since I first bought that poster, and none of them I would or could have imagined. Marcy is still in a coma though her condition has improved. Rudi told me that the doctors took away some of the tubes, and they may move her to a home soon. I shut my eyes tight to get that woman out of my head. I can never allow myself to feel sorry for Marcy. I have to remember that she’s the reason why I have to break into a room to steal a video that will prove my innocence.
“Vicki?”
Startled, I jump up into a seated position as Chase walks into my room. He looks at the backpack open on the chair, and the marked-up sneakers on my desk before sitting down beside me. Chase wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me in for a kiss. His lips linger on my cheek, and I close my eyes, leaning into him. He wants to come with me also, but I told him a million times no. He’s in enough trouble because of me.
“Didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, “Next time, I’ll cough when I walk down the hall.”
I look at him. “It’s funny that you call this place home.”
He shrugs. “You’re here.”
They each know what I want, but we haven’t spoken about it again. I notice Silas’ watchful look when Chase sits too close to me. Or Dom quietly watches us as he pretends to watch TV. When Silas and I sit together at the kitchen table, Chase will spend the entire time walking back and forth from the fridge. The last time I was in my bedroom with Dom, Silas kept pacing past the bathroom door until Dom finally left. The second he was gone, Silas came into my room and just lay down on the bed.
We need to have that talk about a future together, but first I have to make sure we’ll have one.
Chase twists his lips and frowns. “I should go.” He sees my look and continues quickly. “At least take Dom with you.”
“I like how you volunteer him,” I scoff.
“He thinks we shouldn’t let you go at all,” replies Chase, studying my expression, “We all agree on that.”
“At least there’s one thing you agree on,” I mumble.
I bounce off the bed to avoid his scrutiny. “Breaking and entering can be fun with a smile and a power drill.” I put on the hoodie and start to change out of my jeans into my sweats. I turn to look at Chase as his gaze lowers.
“You have to leave so I can change,” I announce to him.
Chase leans back on his elbow. “I don’t mind.”
“Out.” I point to the door, and Chase slinks off. I shut it behind him and quickly change into my clothes. I still have an hour, but I’m thinking of sneaking into the woods and circling behind the dorms. I could hide from security and wait for them to finish their rounds. They never go that deep into the woods anyway. Even if they do find me, Jagan will brush it off and send me on my way.
We didn’t tell him what we had planned. The simpler, the better, and that means only telling the people who need to know. As soon as I’m dressed, my phone chimes.
Theo: They left early.
Fuck. I freeze, and my stomach is sick as I look around my room for anything forgotten. It’s just nerves. I’m not scared, and I will do this. I have to succeed because this time I’m right. My pep talk plays on a loop in my mind as I grab my backpack and head out the bedroom door. Chase, Dom, and Silas sit in the living room with textbooks scattered around as they study for exams. I doubt they got much done as they instantly look at me. And all I have to do is nod.
Chase drops his book and gets up, putting on a dark jacket while Dom does the same. Silas grabs his phone and checks it. Theo sent a group text.
“Vicki…” Silas says.
I hold up my hands. “My shit, and I’m going to fix it.” My decision is set and can’t be changed, and no one is getting in trouble this time for what I’ve done.
We head out into the woods. Walking side by side as a group, looking completely normal like we’re on an outing and nothing more. Picking up the pace, we jump and climb over fallen branches and soft ground as we walk on in silence. This is a day I would
n’t mind being over. I won’t miss this twenty-four hours when it’s gone. Something small scurries past, and I pull back, cursing myself for showing my nerves. Chase gives me a stern look as if he’s examining my courage, but I look away and keep marching until I can see the rooftops of the dorms through the trees.
I glance over my shoulder as they stand in a straight line, watching me. Chase scowls until his gray eyes disappear into angry slits. Dom clenches his fists as he looks over my head at Redwood. Silas crosses his arms and watches me as if I’ll crack. His lips press firm into a line, and I know he wants to go inside with me, but we agreed I’d do this alone.
I hurry down the hill away from them, careful not to slip on a rock as I head for the building. I stop at the back of the building and peer around the corner, looking guilty as fuck. I don’t see anyone, but that doesn’t mean no one is watching. Casually, I approach the front as if I belong there and move slowly to the door. The key card slips into the pad, and I’m in. My heart is beating so loud I couldn’t hear anyone even if they were shouting in my face. No one is in the hallways, but holding my chest, I stop and listen for movement. I can hear music playing in the distance, and I head to Talia’s room as my sneakers squeak on the tile floor. Inhaling, I grip the door handle and swipe the key card. The lock clicks, and swiftly, I step inside.