“No, thank you, I’m just stopping by. I’ve got to get back to the bar.” It was the same thing, every time. They offered Ray food, he would decline, hand his paper bag to Jessica, then sit beside her and hold Evan for ten minutes. Ray would then gruffly make excuses for his departure and head out the door.
Now, he handed the bag to Jessica, and as always, she said, “Thank you, Ray,” and put the bag to the side. After returning from washing his hands at the kitchen sink, Ray sat down right beside her and Carrie handed the baby to Ray. Evan cooed and grabbed at Ray, tugging at the bushy beard. Ray’s gentle smile crossed his face. Jessica watched as Ray gently swayed side to side as he sat. Evan’s eyelids drooped further and further down until they closed softly. When the doorbell rang a second time, Evan didn’t even stir.
“Pizza’s here.” Carrie got the door, again. Wes paid for the pizza and helped Mama and Carrie get it set up in the kitchen, leaving Jessica and Ray in the living room with Evan.
“I’d best be going.” Ray ever so gently placed the baby into Jessica’s arms, careful not to touch Jessica.
Jessica could tell by the wistful look in Ray’s eyes that he was not quite ready to give Evan up. “Are you sure you can’t stay for pizza, or do you just want to hold him while we eat?” She could see that though Ray was half standing, she was breaking him. “It would be a favor to us, it’s hard to eat one handed.”
“You could put him in his bassinet when you eat,” Ray said, knowing Jessica was playing on his emotions to get him to stay.
Jessica faked a horrified gasp. “Put him down, gosh, no, Ray. Evan wouldn’t know what to do with himself if someone wasn’t holding him.”
“It’s true,” Carrie chimed in as she entered the room carrying a plate of pizza for Jessica, pepperoni and pineapple, her absolute favorite. “We don’t put that baby down ever. One of us is always holding him or waiting for our turn to hold him. You want me to take him so you can eat, Jessica?” Carrie asked as she handed the plate to Jessica.
“Oh, no, that’ll be fine. Ray just said he’d be happy to hold Evan so I can eat,” Jessica said with a laugh.
With that, Ray sat down, leaning back into the cushions and took the baby back from Jessica. Gently, Ray repositioned the sleeping baby up onto his shoulder. Evan snuggled down deeper into the soft black and red checkered flannel of Ray’s shirt.
Carrie went back into the kitchen leaving Jessica to wonder why everyone disappeared when Ray came over. Chowing down on the delicious food, Jessica was happy to sit in the comfortable silence, eat comfort food and gaze at the huge burly man holding her tiny son.
Finishing her pizza, Jessica wiped her mouth with her napkin and picked up the bag Ray had brought. She pulled the familiar glass bottle from the brown paper bag. Every week, Ray brought Jessica the delicious green juice, and every week she had gladly drunk it, no questions asked. Today, as she brought the bottle to her lips, she thought about how strange it was that she trusted Ray so much, and had never even bothered to ask what it was that she was drinking.
“Ray,” she said as she sipped on the drink, “what is this, exactly? I mean, it’s delicious and all, but what’s in it?”
Gazing steadily at the baby on his shoulder, Ray said very simply, “It’s to increase your milk supply.”
Jessica was so shocked by the laugh that bubbled from her throat, she spewed the green juice from her lips, dotting her shirt, Evan’s blanket, and Ray’s beard with the liquid.
Ray very casually ran his hand through his beard, then wiped it on the burp cloth on his shoulder. Smiling, he looked at Jessica out of the corner of his eyes.
“Oh my gosh, Ray, I’m so sorry.”
“S’okay.”
“It’s just that, well, no offense but that’s the last thing I ever expected you to say.”
“My mother was a midwife. And a good one at that. She always said the care of the new mother doesn’t end at birth, it starts at birth. We had babies and nursing mothers in and out of our house every day, all day, as long as I can remember. That right there,” he nodded his head towards the half empty bottle, “is Moose Juice.”
“Moose Juice?” Jessica laughed.
“She called it that because if you drink it, you’ll be making enough milk to nurse a moose.”
Jessica was laughing so hard by this point, she snorted through her nose. “So that explains why I’m leaking all over the place.” Jessica pulled her shirt away from her chest. “Not that I’m complaining, Evan eats up every bite he can get. What exactly are the ingredients for Moose Juice, then?”
“Raspberry leaves, spirulina, alfalfa, and a few other things.”
“I’ve never even heard of spirulina. Where on Earth did you find that in our little town of Poke?”
“I didn’t,” Ray said, a blush creeping past his beard. I had to go to a health foods store in Kent for the ingredients. They have to be fresh, you can’t use the dried stuff you get on the internet.”
Kent. Kent was a three-hour drive, six hours round trip from the town of Poke. And Ray had been making her this concoction for twelve weeks. If he went every week to get the supplies fresh, that was at least 72 hours of driving time he had invested, in her. Not to mention whatever work it took to make the actual drink.
“After the trauma with Kevin and the cesarean section, I knew you would have a tough time making enough milk to feed a growing boy. I knew you would need it. So, I made it.”
Ten years her senior, Jessica had always seen Ray as a good looking, rugged, older gentleman. At first, she was only aware of him when she was trying to sneak into his bar and he would firmly kick her out, then, over the years, as just another man in town. He was kind to her when she had been through breakups. Let her talk his ear off while she drowned her sorrows in her beers. The bartender who drove her home on more than one occasion when she had too much to drink, kept the seedy guys from bothering her when she went to Ray’s to dance with friends.
Now, looking at Ray holding her son, she saw a completely different man. His bearded face was handsome, his brown eyes wise and kind. The thick chest of muscles that she had been grateful for when Ray once had to get physical with a creepy stalker of hers, now looked protective, appealing to her in a way she hadn’t felt before.
Jessica was always the one in charge and even once, in a different life before motherhood, been active at a BDSM club outside of town, as a dominatrix looking for partners. That lifestyle no longer appealed to her. Watching the way Wes doted on, protected, and cared for Carrie was what she desired, if she ever had a moment in the whirlwind of the crazy past months to even think about a man. The type of man that would drive six hours, once a week, to ensure your milk supply was adequate for your newborn baby. That was the type of man her heart desired.
Without a thought in her mind, Jessica leaned over the sleeping body of her son, and with her jiggling belly and leaking breasts hanging over him, Jessica kissed Ray full on the mouth. Momentarily, Ray froze, but when the shock melted away, with his hands still wrapped around Evan, Ray kissed her back. The kiss was one of a man who had been living in a desert and had found a pool of cool, clear water to dive into. Though only their mouths were touching, Jessica felt the kiss through her entire body.
“Hey guys, there’s more pizza out here,” Jessica looked up at Wes as he stopped mid-sentence, his hand still in the air, gesturing at the kitchen behind him. “Right.” Wes spun on his heels, a smirk and knowing smile on his smug face.
Sitting back in her place on the couch, Jessica locked her eyes into the warmth of Ray’s and softly said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Ray cleared his throat and stood up from the couch, Evan in his arms. “I’ve got to be going.” He turned and headed towards the door, cradling the baby all the way.
“Ray,” Jessica said, as she stood.
“Yes,” Ray answered, turning towards her expectantly.
“Evan.”
Ray looked down at the baby in his arms. The blush returned
to his cheeks. He gave a little chuckle, then returned to Jessica, carefully placing the baby back into her arms. “I forgot that I was holding him.”
Standing and smiling, Jessica teased, “Were you trying to steal my baby, Ray?”
“No, but maybe your heart. Good night, Jessica.” He kissed her gently on the cheek and turned, leaving Jessica standing in the middle of her living room in absolute shock. She stayed standing, staring at the back of the door long after it had closed.
“It’s about time you gave that man a kiss, he’s been driving to Kent every Friday morning to make you that juice.” Wes came in the room and stood by Jessica, arms crossed over his chest, the same smirk on his face.
“I had no idea.”
“First time since I’ve known Ray, that he’s letting someone else run the bar for him. On Fridays, he’s been having postmaster Glenn come and mix drinks. Glenn has no idea what he’s doing and has probably poisoned a few of them, but people still come.”
“I really don’t know what to say, Wes. It all just happened so fast. The way he looked holding Evan, the juice.”
“Ray’s held a candle for you ever since you came into his bar on your twenty-first birthday and moved all of the tables to the side so you and your friends could line dance.”
“Why didn’t he ever say something?”
“Probably thought that he was too old for you. Then, you always had a boyfriend. And there was your little ‘dominatrix phase,’” Wes said, holding up his fingers as quotation marks. “I think that really turned him off. He probably almost got over you then,” Wes teased. “I don’t think he’s a man that likes not being in charge.”
“We wouldn’t happen to know any other men like that, now would we, Wes?” Jessica teased back.
“Who, this bossy guy?” Carrie asked, entering the room, wrapping her arms around Wes. She gave him a kiss. “That’s how I like them,” she said to Jessica with a wink. Then, Carrie turned to Wes. “I think Mama might be tired out.”
“We should get going.” Wes threw a worried look Jessica’s way. “You lock that door when we leave and call us anytime day or night if you need us,” he said with authority.
“Yes, sir,” she replied with a smile. “I promise, I will.
Carrie walked over to Jessica and gave baby Evan’s soft hair a few, last strokes. “Jessica, are you sure you’re going to be okay on your own, tonight? I can stay…,”
“No, you all go on home. We will be fine.”
Mama flipped off the lights in the kitchen and carried her purse into the living room. “I’m tired, but I’m happy to stay if you need me, Jessica,” Mama said, gathering Jessica and Evan up in a hug.
“No, no, you all go on. I’ve got to get the hang of this single mom thing sooner or later. You have all been so, so good to me. I just can’t thank you enough.” She gave them all hugs and they said their goodbyes.
The door closed and Jessica sat down on the couch. The room was so quiet. “It’s just you and me, kid.” Looking down at the baby, Jessica saw that Evan’s little nose was shaped just like Kevin’s. The tears came in waves with the grief. Just when she thought she was fine, something little would cause the wave of sadness to come crashing down on her. When she was all cried out, she fed Evan, then snuggled down with him on her chest, wondering just what was happening between her and Ray.
Evan’s cry pierced the quiet room, rousing Jessica from her slumber. “Hungry, baby?” she asked, sitting up and situating the baby to feed. He pushed away when she offered to feed him. His eyes looked glassy and his cries were more urgent than before. That was when she noticed how warm Evan was. Placing a hand on his forehead, she cried out at how hot it felt.
“Oh shit. Oh shit. What do I do?” Carrying Evan, Jessica searched the kitchen for the forehead thermometer she had been given at her baby shower. Placing it on Evan’s temple as she shushed him, she watched the numbers as they continued to climb, drawing in a sharp breath when the numbers read 101.3, then kept rising. The numbers kept increasing, then reached 103.1 and stopped. The thermometer beeped.
“Baby, oh, baby, what do I do for you?” She continued to shush and coddle Evan as she searched among all her hospital discharge paperwork for the pediatrician’s after hours number. Evan’s wails increased. Jessica closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was 1:45 am. She picked up her phone and dialed.
“Ray’s.” The voice on the other end of the line was rough, gravelly, and completely soothing.
“Ray, it’s Jess.”
“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was unmistakable.
“I’m okay. It’s Evan. He has a really high fever and I can’t find the pediatrician’s number, and I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m on the way.” Jessica could hear Ray ordering the last few clients out of the bar. “Sit tight, honey. I’m just up the street. I will be right there. Sit tight.”
Despite her distress, a smile crossed her face. Holding Evan tightly, she waited for Ray.
A few minutes later there was a soft knock on the door. Jessica quickly opened the door and Ray greeted her by handing her a paper bag. He immediately took the baby from her arms. “Let me see this little guy.” Ray shushed the baby and Evan’s wails began to subside. Ray walked to the bedroom and placed the baby gently down on the bed.
“First thing, when a babe is running a fever is to make them cooler. You should take these blankets off. And, they might not want to be held.” He unwrapped the baby from the cloth.
“That makes sense,” Jessica said, feeling silly for having kept Evan wrapped up tight and holding him even tighter.
“Can you get me a cool cloth?” Cooing to the baby, Ray quickly and expertly undressed him down to his diaper. He was rewarded with a tiny smile before Evan began to cry again. “And grab that bag I brought. Do you have one of those plastic baby tubs?”
The older women of the town of Poke had completely spoiled Jessica at her baby shower. She had been pampering them in her hairdresser chair for years and they had paid her back in full. Jessica had everything a baby could need. “Yes, it’s in the bathtub in my bathroom.”
“I’ll meet you there,” Ray replied as his lifted Evan up onto his chest. Jessica ran to the kitchen for the paper bag, then to the laundry room for fresh baby washcloths. They were white with yellow ducks since Jessica had kept the gender a surprise. For some odd reason seeing those little yellow ducks made her think of Garrett, and realize that she was relieved that Ray was here with her for this emergency, instead of the baby’s father.
Jessica heard water running as she entered the bathroom. Ray was holding Evan with one arm and testing the temperature of the water with his other hand. “Lukewarm, perfect.” Ray reached out and took the bag from Jessica, leaving her with the cloth. The bag made a crackling noise as his large hand reached into the paper. He withdrew a bottle of apple cider vinegar. With the water still flowing into the small tub, Ray poured some of the vinegar in, letting the movement of the water mix it in the bath.
Ray turned off the tap, then gently placed Evan in the water. “Atta boy, atta way,” he murmured to the baby. He reached for the cloth in Jessica’s hand. He wet the rag in the water, then wrung it out over the tub. Holding the bottle gingerly, Ray carefully sprinkled the rag with the vinegar. Then, he placed it over Evan’s forehead. Within minutes of entering the cool bath, the baby’s cries had ceased and he was gurgling and cooing to Ray.
Slumping down on the edge of the tub, Jessica sighed with relief.
“He won’t smell great, but at least he’ll be comfortable.” Kneeling by the tub, Ray used his hand as a scoop and continuously poured water over Evans exposed belly as the baby cooed and gurgled. Then, Evan laughed.
It was a little chuckle and the single most amazing sound Jessica had heard to date. She quickly joined Ray on the floor and smiled at Evan. “Is that funny, baby? Does that tickle?” Seeing Jessica’s face brought joy to the baby’s eyes, and again, he laughed out loud, a little be
lly laugh, with his eyes crinkling with joy. Jessica and Ray looked at each other and laughed as well.
“His first laugh,” Jessica said. “And it was for you, Ray,” she said, smiling at him.
Ray looked at Jessica for a long time. “It’s an honor,” he said. Reaching his hand out, Ray tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The simple gesture gave her shivers. Then he turned back to the baby. “His temperature should be down. Let’s take him out and see.”
Jessica stood and got a clean towel. Ray lifted Evan from the bath and together, they wrapped the towel loosely around the baby. While Ray held him, Jessica took his temperature.
“It’s only 100.3, now,” she said, reading the number after the thermometer beeped.
“That’s good. It will probably spike again in a few hours. Then you can run the same bath and do just what I did. Do you remember everything?” Ray looked at her, concerned.
“Are you leaving?” Jessica blurted out.
The baby curled up in Ray’s arms and gave a small sigh of contentment. Ray looked down at the small bundle, then up at Jessica. “Would you like me to stay?” Ray asked.
“Don’t leave. Don’t leave us.” She looked at him, pleadingly. Exhaustion was overtaking her and she was scared to be alone when the fever spiked again, but most of all, she didn’t want to lose the safe and sound feeling that blanketed her in Ray’s presence.
“I’ll stay for as long as you need me.” His warm eyes were kind.
“Thank you.”
They settled down onto the couch, Ray still holding Evan as he had fallen asleep in the towel. Ray seemed wide awake and Jessica was too exhausted and keyed up from the scare to sleep.
“He looks better.” Feeling Evan’s forehead with his hand, Ray smiled and looked at Jessica. “Still cool.”
“Where did you learn that from? Your mom?”
“Yes. Little babies often get high fevers and it can be scary. If you can’t get the fever down, it’s best to go to the hospital, but thankfully, this worked.” He ended his sentence with a gentle kiss on the baby’s head.
Forever Daddy (Sweet Texas Love Book 2) Page 7