Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel

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Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel Page 19

by Michael Gerard Bauer


  I stared at him in disbelief.

  ‘Razz, didn’t you see Miss Tarango’s face just now when you oh-so-subtly tried to match her up with Mr Guthrie?’

  Razz dismissed my concern with a wave of his hand. ‘Bah! That’s nothing. She’ll end up thanking me. You’ll see.’

  I knew I couldn’t change Razz’s mind so I changed the subject instead.

  ‘So, are you going to do what Miss suggested? Are you going to seriously look at HPE teaching?’

  ‘Said I would, so guess I have to. But it’s a bit stupid, don’t you reckon? Me a teacher.’

  ‘I don’t think it’s stupid at all,’ I said. ‘You’re already coaching and training junior kids plus our volleyball team. You’re doing a great job as Sports Captain and Mr Murphy says you practically run those afternoon activities with the boarders. I think you’d be a great teacher.’

  ‘Really?’ Razz seemed more than a little stunned.

  At that point Scobie, Bill and Ignatius joined us at the table.

  ‘Hey, guys, wanna hear something hilarious? Miss Tarango and Ishmael think I should become an HPE teacher.’

  ‘An excellent idea,’ Scobie said. Bill nodded.

  ‘What, really? You too?’

  Razz looked at Ignatius. ‘I got a feeling these guys are just being nice, Prindabuddy. I know you won’t pull any punches, man. Tell me honestly – I can take it – do you really see me as an HPE teacher like Mr Hardcastle?’

  Ignatius thought about it for a moment.

  ‘No,’ he said.

  Now it was Scobie’s, Bill’s and my turn to be a little stunned.

  ‘See? I told you guys,’ Razz said, struggling to look pleased about being proved right. ‘There’s no way I could …’

  He was silenced by the Prindabel Power Pointer hovering in front of his face.

  ‘I haven’t finished,’ Ignatius said. ‘Mr Hardcastle could never have got me on to a volleyball court. You have. And I’m not hating it or afraid of it any more. So no, I don’t see you as a HPE teacher like Mr Hardcastle. But – and I’ll probably regret saying this – I think you could be a very different one … a better one.’

  ‘Really?’ Razz said, completely gobsmacked. ‘Gee … thanks … Thanks, Ignatius … thanks, man.’

  The bell rang for the end of lunch then and everyone got up to go. Razz was the last one to move. I think he was still trying to imagine a future for himself that he’d never even considered possible before.

  He wasn’t the only one.

  13.

  OPERATION GET RAZZ INTO UNI

  Like me, Razz kept his promise to Miss Tarango and he discovered at the Courses and Careers Expo that getting into HPE at uni was at least a possibility – if he could improve his grades enough. And yes, when you looked at some of Razz’s grades, it was a seriously big IF.

  Razz’s HPE results weren’t the problem. He was getting top marks there, at least in the practical assessment part. Modern History was solid as well. Ms Heckenvaal had made sure of that. And English and Film and TV weren’t too bad. But Maths, Multi-Strand Science and particularly Economics were a real worry. Razz had a big decision to make, and for once it wasn’t something he could joke his way around or rely on his natural ability to see him through.

  ‘If you’re serious about trying to get your grades up,’ Scobie told him, ‘we’ll all help you. Are you serious about it?’

  I’d never seen Razz look so nervous. It took a while for him to answer.

  ‘Yeah.Yeah, I am.’

  It was probably the hardest thing Razz had ever had to say. And as soon as the words left his lips, we had ourselves another quest. Operation Get Razz into Uni. It was decided that Scobie would oversee everything, Ignatius would focus on Razz’s performance in Multi-Strand Science and Maths, I would be responsible for English and Bill would cover Film and TV. We knew that Sally was also going to be a huge help. Our first task, however, was convincing Razz to ask Mr Barker to let him drop Economics where he was really bombing out, so he could use the extra time to work on improving his remaining subjects.

  ‘No way he’ll let me do that. After that Hamlet thing last year, Barker thinks I’m a waste of space.’

  ‘Hey, I bet your mother could convince …’ Prindabel’s comment shrivelled up under the heat of Razz’s glare.

  ‘What if I come with you, Orazio, and help argue your case?’ Scobie said.

  It was turning into a time of tough decisions for Razz, but he eventually agreed. The next day when Scobie and Razz returned from their appointment they told us that Mr Barker said he would let Razz drop Economics if he could prove that he was committed to his school work. That meant he had to pass all the upcoming end of semester exams and show a clear improvement in his overall grades.

  ‘Barker reckoned it wouldn’t be easy. But he said he thought I could do it. He even wished me luck.’ Razz shook his head in disbelief.

  ‘Firm but fair,’ Ignatius said with grin. ‘Mr Barker would make someone a great father.’

  But Razz was too lost in his own thoughts to hear.

  So with Operation Tarango already progressing steadily, Operation Get Razz into Uni lurched into life. If only Operation Get Kelly to Invite Ishmael to the Lourdes Formal was proceeding as strongly. And as for Operation Win at Least One Volleyball Match, that was about to come down to the final roll of the dice.

  But none of us could have predicted just how much would be riding on it.

  14.

  THE POOR SUCKERS ARE US

  By the time the mighty Fighting Fifths reached the final round of the volleyball season we had built a magnificent record of six losses and one forfeit.

  Our last game of the season was the return match against Windermere High. The last time we were down to play them they had to forfeit after most of their team was struck down with the flu. It gave us our only points. We didn’t even rate it as an embryo step since we’d done nothing to earn it. Ignatius suggested that we should mark it down as a zygote step and he was so pleased with this joke that for the next week or so he’d break into his weird, hissing laugh every time he thought of it.

  The Windermere High team were second-last on the points table, with a couple of very narrow victories. No prizes for guessing who was two points behind them at the bottom of the table. On the Monday before the match Ignatius caught up with us all in morning Homeroom. He looked pretty excited. He told us that he had discovered something ‘interesting’.

  ‘A whole new level on Super Nerdio Brothers?’ Razz suggested.

  Ignatius ploughed on without missing a beat.

  ‘No, something to do with volleyball. Last night I completed a thorough review of the entire season for Mr Hardcastle, checking the accuracy of all the points tables for the various age groups and analysing the position of each of the schools,’ Prindabel said, placing a folder on the desk and patting it gently with his bony hands. ‘Now, as you know, trophies are awarded for each of the five age divisions from Year Eights to Opens, and as the name implies, the Overall Champions Trophy is awarded to the school that performs best across all of those age groups. Now each team gets points for their age group depending on where they finish up on the table and these points contrib–’ Razz grabbed his head and crossed his eyes.

  ‘emergency! Emergency! Boredom overload. Brain freezing. Must. Get. Help.

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