by S. L. Baum
Eva crawled onto the bed and put her arms around Chai. She wasn’t sure where the knowledge came from, but she was quite sure her grandmother had only a few minutes of life left inside of her. “I’ll listen. I promise. I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better grandmother. You’re a great kid.”
Krista held her mother’s hand. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Chai closed her eyes and marveled at the beauty that surrounded the end of her life. She’d never thought she would get to experience something so sweet. Her granddaughter’s arm, draped across her chest, her daughter’s hand firmly grasping her own… it spread a calmness through her as the end neared. She was glad that she was spending her last few moments alone with the very proof of her life. A part of Chai would carry on in these two kindhearted beings. It was good. She was finally satisfied that she’d done something right.
“I love you both,” Chai whispered in return.
Returning to school on the Monday after Spring Break was something Eva had insisted upon. Everyone said she could take a few days off but it didn’t seem right to stay home when her father and mother had decided to go to work. The weird part was she never felt the need to cry; she simply felt confused.
Chai had died just two days before, on Saturday afternoon. Krista found a file on Chai’s phone labeled After Death. When she opened the file it contained six words: Don’t put me in the ground. Doctor Baker met Mortimer, the mortician, at the guesthouse early that same evening, and Morty explained that according to the state law, only a county medical examiner could bypass the two-day wait period required for cremation. Luckily, Doctor Baker was a county medical examiner, and Chai’s remains were cremated on Sunday morning.
They scattered her ashes over the creek later that same day, and said a small semi-private goodbye, after which Abe, Sam, Krista, Eva, Jim, Adeline, Pete, Opal, Lavinia, and baby Egon all came together for a farewell dinner. Eva thought it was a nice way to honor her grandmother. She hadn’t been to a funeral before but, from the looks of them on TV, they were always full of horribly sad people. Some tears did fall as they all expressed how thankful they were for the woman who’d saved the lives of Sam, Opal, and Egon, but since everyone was grateful to Chai they were determined to have a celebration of her good deeds, as few as they seemed to be.
Eva just wasn’t all that sad, or maybe she simply hadn’t let the death of a grandparent sink in yet. She hadn’t really known Chai; she only saw her once a year. Eva was still trying to process the fact that she had a huge secret to keep. She was a Deathtaker, and she couldn’t tell anyone about it. Eva decided that the good thing about having to keep the secret was that there were several people in town who knew about what a Vita woman could do. At least she would be able to talk to someone about it. But the bad thing was, not one person at her school was allowed to know, and that’s where she spent the majority of her time.
Miss Montgomery pulled Eva aside as soon as she’d excused her class to go out to recess. Eva hadn’t said a single word all morning, and Marjorie usually had to remind the little girl at least once per day not to talk during a lesson. “I just wanted to check in with you. Your mother and father had a word with me after they dropped you off. I understand your grandmother passed away this weekend.”
“Yes. Grandma had a bad case of the flu,” Eva repeated the story Doc had instructed them to tell. “Her immune system wasn’t strong enough to fight it,” she said the other rehearsed line.
“My grandparents both died from the very same thing when I was in high school, only a week apart from each other. We have that sad fact in common. It’s very hard to lose someone you love.”
“I didn’t get to see her very often. I didn’t really know her.”
Marjorie knelt down in front of Eva and held her hands. “Even if you didn’t see her very often, it’s still a sad thing. If you feel like you want some time by yourself, just let me know, and I can send you to the reading corner in the library, where it is very private and very quiet. You can spend as much time there as you need.”
Eva just stared at her teacher, not sure what to say.
“Will you let me know if you need to be by yourself, or if you need someone to talk to?”
“Yeah. I guess so. Can I go out to recess now?”
“Of course you can.”
Eva ran outside but didn’t go toward the swings - her normal destination during morning recess. She ran to the big shady tree, at the corner of the school grounds, and sat down underneath it. She was alone, and at that moment it was exactly what she needed. Eva was afraid to talk to anyone. She was afraid she’d slip up and accidentally share the Vita family secret with the wrong person. In addition to the adults who’d been at Chai’s farewell, her parents told her Sheriff Tucker and his wife were the only other people in all of Cedar Creek who knew about Krista and her mother, and Eva rarely talked to them. Lavinia was too little to know the truth, and when Eva asked, Opal said she probably wouldn’t tell her kids until they were in their teens, if she told them at all. Eva was only eight. She wished she’d been a little older when she found out there was such a thing as a Deathtaker, and she figured she could have waited a lot longer to find out that she was going to be one too.
Eva leaned back until she was flat on the ground. The grass under the tree was cool against her back, it tickled her neck, and it was a soft pillow under her head. She imagined she was in an all white room, on a white fluffy bed, with no distractions around her. She closed her eyes and tried to think about absolutely nothing. She had fifteen minutes before recess was over, and she didn’t want to talk to anyone; for once she was glad that her friend Trixie was absent. She knew it was going to be tough to keep the truth from her.
Her ears tuned in to the sound of feet shuffling in the grass nearby, but she didn’t raise her head to find out who was coming her way.
“I heard your grandmother died.”
Eva smiled, but she kept her eyes closed. “Sixth Grade doesn’t have morning recess, Trey. What are you doing out here?”
“I think the teachers are worried about you. Miss Montgomery came into our room and asked Mr. Williams if she could borrow me for a few minutes.”
“Why’d she borrow you?”
“Because adults know that kids don’t always want to talk to them. And I guess everyone wants to make sure you’re not too sad.”
Eva moved her hands through the soft grass while every other part of her body was completely still. “I’m not. I just don’t want to talk to anyone.”
Trey sat down beside her, stretching his legs out, and tapped her shoe with his own. “But people usually can’t get you to shut up.”
Eva shrugged.
“I’m sorry she died.”
Eva opened her eyes and looked at her friend. “Yeah. Me too. I only saw her one day a year, and I never talked to her any other time, so I guess I’m… Ugh. I don’t know what I want to say. Anyway, why’s Trixie absent?” she asked him.
“Food sickness or something. She threw up twice last night, after eating some cupcake she insisted on buying in the airport in California.”
“Gross.”
Trey laughed. “It was super gross. At least she didn’t throw up on the plane. That would have made me hurl too.”
Eva shook her head at the thought and then closed her eyes again. Trey didn’t want to press her to keep talking so he reclined in the grass beside her and didn’t say a word. After a few minutes, Eva broke the silence. “You can go back to Miss Montgomery and tell her that I’m fine, really. But I probably won’t talk very much for a little while. That should make her happy.”
“What’s going to stop your mouth from moving as much as it usually does?” he teased.
“I got some stuff to figure out.”
“You’re in the Third Grade, what stuff do you have to figure out?”
Eva shrugged. “It’s complicated.”
Trey chuckled and hit her shoe w
ith his again. “I think you’re complicated.”
Sam and Krista were curled up on their cot in the attic of the hardware store. Krista quietly cried while Sam held her in his arms. Her façade of being the strong woman who could handle anything thrown at her had disintegrated the moment they’d dropped Eva at school and talked to her teacher. Krista had begun to sob as soon as they got back in the truck, so Sam drove to the shop and pulled her upstairs, where they could be alone. She’d crumbled in his arms and slowly the sobs faded into silent tears.
Sam stroked Krista’s hair as he consoled her. “She did something spectacularly wonderful in the end. Does that erase all the years you spent without her? No. Does that magically make all your interactions with her the last few years pleasant ones? No. But it does give you the best kind of positive memories of her in the end. She made a lot of awful choices, but her last ones were such good ones.”
“I know. You’re right. I just wish that I was given the chance to get to know the woman she had the potential to become. If she had survived, she might have been a better grandmother to Eva, a friend to me, and maybe even a better Deathtaker.”
“Maybe it’s better this way. I’m sorry. It’s cruel to even speak those words. But she might not have been able to change, deep down, and then you both would’ve been disappointed all over again. Like when an addict promises his family he’ll get better, that he’ll stop using, stop breaking their hearts, but he lacks the strength of will to change. If Chai had made all those promises to you and Eva, and then backtracked on every one, our girl would have been devastated and you’d feel like you lost your mother all over again. She was a hard woman, from what you’ve told me. There’s always the chance that she would quickly find her way back to old habits.”
“Damn, you’re logical. And pessimistic. She could have become someone better. It’s possible.”
“I’m a realist. But you’re right, she might have become everything you always wished she should have been. But we can’t change that she died. We can’t predict what would have happened if she’d lived. We should remember her last moments fondly, be grateful she did what she did at the end of her life, and be thankful that she apologized to you for the past. It’s a beautiful way to remember your mother.”
“It is. She did good. She did real good.” Krista wiped her eyes. “Oh, wow, Sam… I can’t believe this just occurred to me. Chai gave you a gift as well. You’ll never have to worry about getting too close to your Deathtaker again. There’s no hundred foot barrier to maintain, no piece of your old death lurking within her body anymore. It died with her. It’s such a relief,” she sighed, as she rested her head against Sam’s chest. “Wow, I feel guilty just for saying that out loud. I’m a terrible person.”
Sam hugged his wife tightly. “You are not a terrible person. You did not cause her death for our benefit.”
“I know. I know. She said all the right things at the end. I’m going to try to remember her that way. Baby, I’m an emotional mess. I feel so confused.”
“Your mother just died. You’re allowed to be a messy ball of confusion.”
“We shouldn’t have let Eva go to school,” Krista worried.
“I think we should let Eva deal with this in her own way, with both of us always on the ready to support her and guide her. To be honest, I think the whole ‘you’re not the normal girl you thought you were’ thing is probably the more difficult item for her brain to process, right now.”
“I’ll answer anything she asks me from now on. No more secrets. She may only be eight, but she is such a wise little girl. Maybe I’ll call Marlene Richardson and let Eva ask her some questions as well.”
Sam stroked Krista’s hair. “I think that’s a good idea.”
Krista kissed her husband softly. “We will help her be strong. She’ll have more of a support group surrounding her than I ever had. There is a whole community of people here that will be there for her, whenever she needs them, and a solid group of friends that can share our secret with us. I always felt alone. I hope Eva never will.”
“You aren’t alone anymore.”
“You’ve given me a home.”
“We gave each other a home,” Sam corrected her.
Chapter Eight
Within a few months, Third Grade finally ended and Eva learned to deal with having a huge secret living inside of her. She no longer felt as if she might explode from holding in the information she was never allowed to share with any of the teachers or with her friends. She was important. One day she would be able to do what her mother could do, and what Chai did; she would be able to stop someone from dying. The fact that she had to almost die herself was a little scary, but she was confident that she’d wake up. She was no longer afraid that she’d end up slipping away in the process, like her grandma Chai had.
Eva had asked many questions and her mother had answered every one. She found out that Chai had made numerous mistakes during her lifetime. The biggest one was taking too many deaths, in too short a period of time, and all with forced connections. Krista stressed the importance of always trying to make solid natural connections with the people she helped, as she had almost always done, and Eva vowed to do the same. The recovery was faster and it allowed lasting bonds to be formed. Krista still kept in contact with several people she had helped in her past.
During the year that followed Chai’s death, Eva had been able to speak to three of the people her mother had saved. Each one of them told her how special Krista was and how grateful they were for the gift she’d shared with them. They let her know that she was quite a lucky girl, to be chosen to embody such an extraordinary gift. Eva knew it wouldn’t come to her for several years, but she was starting to look forward to the day she was ready to take her first death. But first, she would need to observe her mother.
Krista had promised to include Eva the next time she used her gift, but she decided to put it off for a little longer. She would have loved for her daughter to be out of elementary school before exposing her to the whole truth, but she was honest enough with herself to know that it was an unreasonable wish. When she was a little girl of around Eva’s age, her grandmother had already informed her of the family secret and had let her observe the process on more than one occasion. She might have shielded her daughter for too long, but she wouldn’t lie to her any longer. Eva would become a Deathtaker. It was a Vita girl’s destiny; it could never be denied, so it must eventually be embraced.
Krista decided that she would prolong the use if her gift for as long as her body allowed her to, until she knew she could not put it off anymore. She knew that it didn’t make sense to wait, that Eva would be bugging her about it. But Krista couldn’t help thinking that once Eva saw her mother in that way, the reality of her own power would sink in and what was left of her innocence would be forever gone.
Eva made it all the way through Fourth Grade and had begun the Fifth before Krista started feeling those uncontrollable urges again. The Deathtaker knew she’d soon have to find someone she could help, preferably someone in another town, another county, or even another state. Krista thought if she and Doc could use their connections to locate a patient in need then she could make a few weekend solo trips away to start the connection. Later, Sam and Eva could join her, when Death decided to take a firm hold and come faster, and then Eva would finally know every single detail about what being a Deathtaker was all about. But she knew that even the best-laid plans rarely worked out exactly as one would want them to.
Halloween in Cedar Creek was one of Krista’s favorite things. She loved that many of the residents gathered together downtown, on the brightly decorated streets, for an evening of community and fun. There were tables set up in front of businesses, candy was doled out by the handfuls, and almost everybody dressed up in costume.
Abe and his childhood friend, Eli Kaufman, always dressed as Laurel and Hardy on Halloween. They’d taken over handing out the candy for the library, with their table set up right under their pers
onalized dedication plaque. They were always quick to point out that they had sponsored the library remodel, during the year Krista came to town, and for the past five Halloweens they’d also insisted that several card tables, with plastic chess sets on them, were set out beside their candy table for other residents to sit down and play throughout the evening. Chess would forever be their favorite pastime.
Krista and Sam chose a different theme for their costumes every year and decorated the hardware store’s candy table to match. That year they were 80s rockers with the big hair, colorful spandex leggings, and bright make-up. Even though she was getting older, and most of her Fifth Grade classmates didn’t dress up to match their parents, Eva still gladly participated in the family theme. But she couldn’t stop giggling at the sight of her parents when they came down the stairs.
“What?” Sam asked and spun around to give his daughter a good look at his 80s hairband glory. He had a long spiky blonde wig on his head, with black eyeliner and rosy blush on his face. He wore black and white zebra leggings, a skillfully torn tank top, and a scarf tied around his waist.
Krista had teased and curled her hair into monumental proportions. She wore leggings that matched her husband’s, a short black crop top, and a black and white faux leather jacket with the collar popped up. “You don’t think we look rockin’?”
“You guys look crazy!” Eva shrieked in delight. “Just like me!”
Krista had pieced together a perfect girls just want to have fun outfit for her daughter, colored her hair with a temporary bright red dye, and let her wear make-up for the very first time. Eva loved the look. She swished her full skirt and twirled around the room.
“Are we ready to rock and roll all night?” Sam struck his best rocker pose and stuck out his tongue, and Eva giggled even harder.
“I seriously have the weirdest parents ever.” Eva shook her head. “Can we go, already? Please. Trixie said her family was just going to get ready at the store, so they’re already there. And Uncle Abe left, like, half an hour ago. Come on. Come on. You guys took for-ever to get ready. I don’t want to be so late,” she half-whined.