by Steve Cole
“The magnetrons are plugged in, Cap’n,” said Mutty. “The Gold Magnet is ready.”
Spiny Jim nodded. “Then let’s show these astrosaurs how we’ll plunder the planets they’ve pledged to protect!” The other pirates roared in agreement and he laughed. “Right ye are, me hearties! Let’s get a-guzzling gold!” He hobbled over to a big bank of controls and turned on a scanner. It showed a blue stripy planet. “The nearest world is Corytho. Lots of gold down there . . .”
“Look!” cried Gipsy, pointing to a familiar egg-shaped object close to the planet on the screen.
“It’s the Sauropod,” Iggy cheered. “I knew the crew would still be searching for us. But with the smoke screen up they will never find this stupid space base.”
“This is perfect,” snarled Spiny Jim. “We will steal all the gold on Corytho – right from under the noses of the DSS!” He pulled a big golden lever. “Here we go!”
A huge hum of power started up. The magnetrons glowed bright blue – even bluer than Gipsy’s head-crest. “You can’t do this!” she shouted.
“Magnetrons at full power, Cap’n,” said Mutty, ignoring her.
The raptor ran about checking the controls. “Sucker systems set to maximum.”
“At last!” exclaimed Spiny Jim. “We is going to get the rewards we so richly deserve!”
“NOT SO FAST!” came a ferocious roar from the golden doorway.
“Captain Teggs!” Iggy wiped his brow. “Just in the nick of time!”
The brave stegosaurus was holding a sword made from a bit of metal, and Sprite was perched on his head. “Turn off that Gold Magnet, Spineless Jim,” said Teggs. “And tell your crew to surrender.”
“Who’s going to make us?” growled Spiny Jim.
“We will!” yelled Sid the sauropelta, charging into the room. Twenty more skinny dinosaurs in rags followed behind him with more home-made weapons. The pirates gasped.
“But . . . you lot was all eaten by the Splarg!” Spiny Jim protested. “I saw you fall into the pit!”
“Plant-eaters are tougher than you think,” said Teggs with a smile. “Nothing can stop us, least of all a pathetic pirate like you!” He pointed to the lever. “You are outnumbered, Jim lad. Turn off that machine right now!”
“No!” yelled Arx, shrugging off his captors. “Don’t listen to him, Spiny Jim. Keep the magnet running. You can beat this sticky-saurus and his army of weeds.”
“Arx!” cried Teggs in disbelief. “Have you gone space crazy?”
“The tri-serra-plops is right,” Spiny Jim declared, raising his golden cutlass as the hum of the Gold Magnet got louder and hungrier. “Come on, lads, we can’t stop now! Attack all plant-eaters!”
A fearsome fight broke out in the golden room.
The old raptor hurled himself at Teggs, who had to fight him off with the makeshift sword. Then two more pirates attacked him, and he had to use his spiky tail to keep them at bay.
Meanwhile, Mutty hurled himself at Gipsy. She jabbed him in the snout and kicked him so hard he flew across the room.
Iggy was attacked by Alan the ammonite. He blocked the blow with his stun claws, picked up the ammonite and hurled him like a discus. CLONK! The shell struck a carnotaur’s head and knocked him into two more pirates.
While the dinosaurs battled on the ground, Sprite tangled with Pollysaurus in the air. The two pterosaurs bashed beaks and clashed claws as they spiralled around, struggling to gain the upper wing.
“Hey, Iggy!” shouted Gipsy, nose-jabbing Mutty in the back of the neck and making him yell. “Where’s Arx?”
Then they saw him – shoving Sid the sauropelta away from the Gold Magnet’s controls.
“I don’t believe it,” said Iggy, ducking the claws of an enraged allosaurus. “Arx has switched sides!”
Teggs scowled. “Arx, stop that. I order you to stop!”
“Sorry, Captain,” called Arx. “I can’t hear you!”
The golden room echoed with shouts, grunts and the clash of cold steel as the skinny crewmembers joined in the fighting.
“Give it up, Spiny Jim!” Teggs shouted, pushing his way through the battling scrum to get to the pirate captain. “We’ve got your gang on the run. You can’t beat all of us.”
“Your mate Arx doesn’t seem to think so,” said Spiny Jim. He bared his golden teeth and swiped at Teggs with his cutlass. “And now I reckon it’s time you was cut down to size!”
Teggs blocked the blow with his sword – and then the golden chamber rocked, like something very powerful had crashed into it. Teggs staggered back and squashed Alan the ammonite with his bottom. Sprite and Pollysaurus bumped into one of the golden walls and tumbled to the ground.
Spiny Jim reared up in alarm. “What’s happening?”
“You’re getting the treasure you so richly deserve.” Arx beamed as the whole space station rattled again. “Remember when I said I didn’t manage to do anything to your controls? Well, I’m afraid I was fibbing!”
“But the magnetrons are working perfectly,” Mutty protested. “The whole system is working like a charm!”
“True,” Arx agreed. “But you see, I changed the setting on the Gold Magnet’s sensors. Instead of seeking out and sucking in gold, it is seeking out and sucking in . . . DUNG!”
Gipsy stared at him. “Then the Gold Magnet is now a Dung Magnet?”
Iggy gasped. “Anyone going to the toilet on Corytho is going to get a big surprise!”
Suddenly the space base rocked again and the lights flickered. “Is the dung doing that?” shouted Gipsy.
“Not just dung,” said Teggs. Now, on the scanner, he could see tiny white missiles streaking away from the Sauropod towards them. “Look! Spiny Jim’s Magnet is drawing out the dung torpedoes from our ship!”
“That explains the explosions,” Gipsy realized. “They must be going off the moment they hit the storeroom here!”
Arx nodded as the room rocked and the rich smell of dino-dung spread through the air. “It was the only way I could think of destroying the Gold Magnet for good. That’s why I couldn’t let anyone stop it being switched on. I knew the Sauropod would never find us because of the smoke screen – this was the only way that the dung torpedoes would definitely find their mark.”
“Nice one, Arx,” said Iggy as an ear-splitting BOOM went off beneath them. “The star pirates’ space station is attacking itself!”
Gipsy gulped. “But we’re still trapped on board!”
“I’ll get you for this!” bellowed Spiny Jim. He jumped up, pulled out his sword and charged towards Arx . . .
But then the room lurched sideways. Everyone was sent flying and black smoke started hissing into the glinting gold chamber.
“The smoke screen!” Teggs yelled. “The pirates store a fresh supply in the air vents so they can pump it out when they need to.”
Gipsy nodded and started to cough. “The explosions must have damaged the controls. The smoke screen is being sucked inside here!”
Iggy stared around in alarm. “Soon we won’t be able to see a thing!”
“Ha-harrrr !” said Spiny Jim. “But me and my pirates know this space station like the backs of our claws. We can hold our breath, find our way to the spaceship bay and escape – while the rest of you stay here and choke!”
“This way!” squawked Pollysaurus, flapping above them. “This way!”
While the crewmembers milled about helplessly, Spiny Jim rushed after his pterosaur, his rascally band of pirates hot on his heels. “Come on, me beauties! HA-HARRRR!”
“It’s not fair!” gasped Gipsy, her eyes streaming. “Spiny Jim’s right. He and his star pirates will get clean away while we are left behind!”
“The Sauropod might be able to find us now,” said Iggy hopefully.
Teggs shook his head. “Even if they do, it will be too late.” Another massive explosion almost split the room apart. “Even if we don’t choke to death, we will soon be blown up – by our own torpedoes!”
Chapter Ten
HARD TO SWALLOW!
“Sorry, everyone,” wheezed Arx. “Looks like my plan has gone a bit wrong.”
“It was a good try, Arx,” said Teggs. “Let’s see if we can block the vents to stop any more smoke getting in.”
“But where are the vents?” said Gipsy helplessly.
The black smoke was getting thicker. Teggs stumbled about in search of a vent, but only bumped into other dinosaurs.
There was a loud crash from somewhere close by – followed by a feeble “Cheep!”
“Hey, that sounded like Sprite!” said Teggs.
“It’s all right, I’ve found him.” Iggy gasped. “And that’s not all – I think the poor little fella flew into the ventilator grille! There are some controls beside it . . .”
Teggs swept his tail around in a tight circle, using it as a fan to clear some of the smoke away. “Can you stop the smoke coming in?”
Iggy pushed the buttons. “They aren’t working! I’ll try to fix them.”
“I’ll help you,” offered Arx.
“Gipsy!” Teggs shouted. “Help me clear the smoke around the controls so they can see what they’re doing!”
Gipsy hooted as loud as she could, blowing loads of smoke away. Sprite flapped his wings weakly, trying to keep the controls clear, and Teggs kept twirling his tail. His eyes were watering and he could hardly breathe, but he kept on going while Arx and Iggy worked as quickly as they could.
“Done it!” gasped Arx as a rushing, swooshing noise started up. At once the smoke was snorted back inside the vent.
“I’ve set the controls to reverse,” explained Iggy. “The vents should spit all that smoke out into space.”
A ragged cheer went up from the conked-out crewmembers, who were sprawled on the floor. But then the room rattled once again as yet another dung-flavoured explosion went off. “How many blasts have there been?” Teggs wondered.
Gipsy coughed and wiped her eyes. “I counted ten, Captain.”
‘Then – that was the last one!” Teggs said with relief. “The Sauropod was only carrying ten dung torpedoes.”
“I’ll shut down the Dung Magnet anyway,” said Arx, pulling on the big golden lever. “The storerooms must be overflowing with droppings by now. If we draw in any more we will probably explode without the help of dung torpedoes!”
“But what about the star pirates?” said Teggs, banging his tail crossly against the floor. “Their space base might be super dirty now, but they will have gotten clean away!”
“Actually . . . no!” came a loud, high-pitched voice behind him.
The crewmembers sat up and cheered, and Teggs whirled round in surprise. “Hey, it’s the Splarg!” he cried. “What are you doing here?”
The weird blobby, feathery monster with its three heads, two eyes and assorted noses did not look happy. “I wish to complain about the noise – and the fact that my pit is now knee-deep in dung. My special sing-a-sea-shanty night has been completely ruined, so I came up here to give you a piece of my mind.” She paused. “And then I thought I might as well give you something else as well.”
The Splarg opened one of her two enormous mouths, and the astrosaurs gasped.
Spiny Jim, Mutty, Pollysaurus – in fact, all the star pirates – were squashed up inside!
“Let us out!” roared Spiny Jim. “Ye big green sack o’ jelly!”
“Oooooh, language,” said the Splarg, and quickly closed her lips again.
“But that’s brilliant!” Teggs gave her a big hug. “You caught them!”
“They ran right into me in all that smoke,” the Splarg explained. “Started running about, screaming that I was going to eat them – so I decided I might as well!” Her huge body quivered as she laughed. “But they taste so smelly and dirty and unwashed that I couldn’t possibly swallow them.”
The crewmembers started to applaud, and the astrosaurs joined in. Sprite flew over and preened one of her big red feathers with his beak. The Splarg gave a little curtsey, delighted by all the attention.
“Can you hold on to the star pirates until our ship gets here?” Teggs asked. “Then we can take them back to DSS HQ to face justice.”
“I suppose so,” said the Splarg.
Gipsy smiled. “I’ve just transmitted our exact position. The Sauropod will be here soon.”
Sid punched the air. “That means we will be going home!”
“Yayyy!” cheered the other crewmembers.
“What about me?” said the Splarg sadly. “My pit is in pieces and I don’t even know where my real home is.”
Teggs looked around the gleaming room. “Well, to cheer you up, why don’t you keep all the gold on board this space station? By catching the star pirates you have certainly earned it.”
The Splarg gasped with her free mouth. “Really?”
Gipsy grinned. “You can build yourself a lovely home with all that loot!”
“I’ll set up a fabulous café and nightclub,” said the Splarg dreamily. “Singing nights every night! Free drinks for all my customers! I will never be lonely again!”
Iggy jabbed a thumb spike towards the star pirates in her spare mouth. “Shame Spiny Jim and his mates won’t be able to drop in,” he joked. “But I reckon they will be going to prison for a long time.”
“Once they’ve cleaned up all the dungy mess their machine has left behind on Corytho,” said Arx happily.
“A-harrr, Teggs,” called Spiny Jim from inside the Splarg. “I has a request. Can I be having a solid gold prison cell, please? Stick the others where ye like, but give me a gold cell, me hearty!”
“You no-good rascal, Spiny Jim,” said Mutty. “Just for that, I’m going to tell everyone your real name. It’s not Jim at all. It’s Gloria!”
“Not true!” the captain cried, but the other pirates were already laughing at him. “Curse the lot of ye!”
“Shut up, Spiny Gloria,” sneered the raptor, and everyone laughed even harder – even the astrosaurs and their friends.
“Well now,” said the Splarg, wiping her various eyes. “Since it’s sing-a-sea-shanty night, how about a quick tune? I know just the ditty.” And so, clearing her throats, she started to sing:
“I’ll sing you a song
Of astrosaurs strong
And star pirates evil and naughty
The astrosaurs beat them
The Splarg she did eat them
So let’s celebrate that they’re caught–y!”
“I’ll drink to that!” cried Iggy, leading the applause.
“Moss-juice all round!” said Sid, and everyone cheered.
“Make mine a large one,” said Teggs, smiling at Arx, Iggy, Gipsy and Sprite. “This has certainly been an adventure to treasure. And I can’t wait till we strike gold with another one, me hearties – HA-HARRR!”
THE END
About the Author
Born in 1971, Steve Cole spent a happy childhood in rural Bedfordshire being loud and aspiring to amuse. He liked books, and so went to the University of East Anglia to read more of them. Later on he started writing them too, with titles ranging from pre-school poetry to Young Adult thrillers (with more TV and film tie-ins than he cares to admit to along the way). In other careers he has been the editor of Noddy magazine, and an editor of fiction and nonfiction book titles for various publishers. He is the author of the hugely successful Astrosaurs, Cows in Action, Astrosaurs Academy and Slime Squad series.
ALSO BY STEVE COLE:
Read all the adventures of Teggs, Gipsy, Arx and Iggy!
1 Riddle of the Raptors
2 The Hatching Horror
3 The Seas of Doom
4 The Mind-Swap Menace
5 The Skies of Fear
6 The Space Ghosts
7 Day of the Dino-Droids
8 The Terror-Bird Trap
9 The Planet of Peril
10 The Star Pirates
11 The Claws of Christmas
12 The Sun-Snatchers
&n
bsp; 13 Revenge of the Fang
14 The Carnivore Curse
15 The Dreams of Dread
16 The Robot Raiders
17 The Twist of Time
18 The Sabre-Tooth Secret
19 The Forest of Evil
20 Earth Attack!
21 The T. Rex Invasion
22 The Castle of Frankensaur
Read all the adventures of Teggs, Blink and Dutch at the Astrosaurs Academy!
1 Destination: Danger!
2 Contest Carnage!
3 Terror Underground!
4 Jungle Horror!
5 Deadly Drama!
6 Christmas Crisis!
7 Volcano Invaders!
8 Space Kidnap!
Meet the time-travelling cows!
1 The Ter-moo-nators
2 The Moo-my’s Curse
3 The Roman Moo-stery
4 The Wild West Moo-nster
5 World War Moo
6 The Battle for Christmoos
7 The Pirate Moo-tiny
8 The Moo-gic of Merlin
9 The Victorian Moo-ders
10 The Moo-lympic Games
11 First Cows on the Moon
12 The Viking Emoo-gency
If you can’t take the slime, don’t do the crime!
1 The Fearsome Fists
2 The Toxic Teeth
3 The Cyber-Poos
4 The Supernatural Squid
5 The Killer Socks
6 The Last-Chance Chicken
7 The Alligator Army
8 The Conquering Conks
Visit www.stevecolebooks.co.uk for fun, games, jokes, to meet the characters and much, much more!
THE STAR PIRATES
AN RHCP DIGITAL EBOOK 978 1 448 17355 6
Published in Great Britain by RHCP Digital,
an imprint of Random House Children’s Publishers UK